Statistics About Pastors

[Minks]

Minks:

In my experience in the mid-central part of the US, we only say “pastor” to differentiate the priest who is pastor when we have more than one priest.

Right, and these days it is much less common to have multiple priests.
When I was a child, just about every parish had at least two priests and many of them had three or four priests, so you had to differentiate the pastor.

In our parish of 350-400 families, we have only one priest. He offers one Mass on Sat evening, two on Sun morning (Engl & Sp), and one at a local college during the school year on Sunday evening. Each day of the week he says at least one Mass, and sometimes two, and has Mass at least once a week at two of the nursing homes. He offers a beautiful OF Mass. I am so touched that I often must blink back tears. He simply exudes the presence of Christ. He’s probably 31-34 now. I predict great accomplishments for him and wish God’s blessings upon him and all his brother priests throughout the world. We SHALL overcome!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It’s great that you have such a good young priest. May he live long and prosper.

That’s a pretty packed schedule though. Protestant pastors would not have to hold services every day - most of them seem to have services just 2 or 3 times a week at most. Again I wonder how a man who was married with children would be able to keep up with 10-12 Masses per week at 3 different venues, plus confession time at least once a week, plus other sacraments (baptism, matrimony, anointing of the sick) as needed.

 

[Minks]

Tis_Bearself:

Minks:

In my experience in the mid-central part of the US, we only say “pastor” to differentiate the priest who is pastor when we have more than one priest.

Right, and these days it is much less common to have multiple priests.
When I was a child, just about every parish had at least two priests and many of them had three or four priests, so you had to differentiate the pastor.

In our parish of 350-400 families, we have only one priest. He offers one Mass on Sat evening, two on Sun morning (Engl & Sp), and one at a local college during the school year on Sunday evening. Each day of the week he says at least one Mass, and sometimes two, and has Mass at least once a week at two of the nursing homes. He offers a beautiful OF Mass. I am so touched that I often must blink back tears. He simply exudes the presence of Christ. He’s probably 31-34 now. I predict great accomplishments for him and wish God’s blessings upon him and all his brother priests throughout the world. We SHALL overcome!

Even though we have but one priest, and he is our pastor, I’ve never heard him called, “Pastor,” but only by, “Father (Last Name),” which has been the policy here since the forties. Although we’ve been very close to most of them, we’ve never used their first names.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Some years back, I stumbled into a forum for pastors’ wives (I forget what I was googling that wound me up there), but the number one complaint of these ladies was women in the congregation who would get inappropriately attached to their husbands.

It wasn’t even always a romantic thing—he was their father figure, or the male friend they wish they had and they’d be calling the house at all hours and monopolizing his time away from family.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Men who work in ministry, just like men who work in health care or law enforcement, see a lot of people in crisis situations, and they have to be brave and strong for the people they serve, but it amounts to a lot of psychological wear and tear after a while.

 

[Minks]

It’s great that you have such a good young priest. May he live long and prosper.

That’s a pretty packed schedule though. Protestant pastors would not have to hold services every day - most of them seem to have services just 2 or 3 times a week at most. Again I wonder how a man who was married with children would be able to keep up with 10-12 Masses per week at 3 different venues, plus confession time at least once a week, plus other sacraments (baptism, matrimony, anointing of the sick) as needed.

In their wisdom, our Church doctors and Popes have endeavored through the ages to streamline the lives of our priests as much as possible. It’s tough to hold firm and not yield to the status-quo exhorting them to permit married priests, as well as to the clamoring for other deviations from the very standards ordained by Christ, Himself. I pray that all their future choices are inspired by the Holy Spirit and wholly pleasing to God.

Our priest shortage is critical, as is our abundance of empty pews. Somehow, we must impress upon our people, especially the young, the importance of their dedicating their lives to Jesus through their chosen lines of work and their everyday lives with their families.

Our parish is very blessed. Father never seems harried or uptight, but his responsibilities for the parish must cause very late hours. Still, he seems calm and rested. I wish everyone could meet a man like he is and that all of us could know that same piety and sense of well-being for ourselves, families, and colleagues. What a beautiful world we would inhabit!

Blessings to you, Tis_Bearself! And to all of us—every single one!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I can see where women parishioners hitting on your husband, and perhaps watching like a hawk to see if your marriage is in trouble so they can swoop in on your man, would definitely put a strain on a marriage.

 

[Tommy999]

It would be interesting to know the scope of pastors who contributed to the stats. For instance, were certain denominations included or excluded or was the study a representative cross-section of American Protestant clergy.

I wonder what issues would be at the top of the list for Catholic priests if just Catholic pastors were interviewed.

With that said, I was most surprised at how many children of pastors elect not to attend church. That’s sad and counterintuitive.

I had often felt that the Catholic Church would have more and better quality priest candidates if they were allowed to marry. After reading this article, I may not be so sure.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Based on other surveys of Catholic priests, I’m guessing that loneliness and overwork/ burnout would be at the top of the list for them.

Probably for Catholic pastors, parishioner conflict would also be an issue. Every time somebody posts on here complaining about how their priest does something at Mass or in confession or regarding some other parish activity, I think about how many such complaints a pastor must get in the course of a week or a month.

 

[Minks]

Y

It would be interesting to know the scope of pastors who contributed to the stats. For instance, were certain denominations included or excluded or was the study a representative cross-section of American Protestant clergy.

I wonder what issues would be at the top of the list for Catholic priests if just Catholic pastors were interviewed.

With that said, I was most surprised By how many children of pastors elect not to attend church. That’s sad and counterintuitive.

I had always felt that the Catholic Church would have more and better quality priest candidates if they were allowed to be married. After reading this article, I may not be so sure.

Lol! I seriously doubt it, unless things have changed drastically. Some 60 years ago I attended a Big 10 college. I kid you not: the absolutely wildest girls in the dorm were daughters of ministers. They weren’t all that way, of course, but enough that we looked upon them as problem children, even when sweet and lovable.

Our dorms were locked at EEEK! 10:30 PM, Mon-Thurs; 1:00 AM Fri-Sat; and 11:00 PM on Sun nights. Almost no other girls would “stay out beyond hours,” but they often did. Getting caught meant a semester of “social probation” and the dreaded explanatory letters sent home to parents, followed by expulsion a second time. They’d call their roommates, asking them to stuff their beds in case the housemother did a surprise bedcheck. That almost never happened with other girls! Getting drunk, low grades, academic probation, flunking out, and pregnancies were also a problem.

The sons of ministers were also prone to wild child reputations. Again, not all, but enough that, as a category, both sexes appeared starved for attention and affection. Lol! And none of us were psych majors!

 

[poche]

I think that some of the stresses could also apply to the wives an children of the married deacons.

 

[JonNC]

I’m married, and happily married, but no week goes by without me thinking at least once that celibacy for clergy actually was a good idea. And we don’t even have children.

As a PK, I understand this sentiment. My dad was a wonderful dad and a beloved pastor, but at times the latter came at a cost on the former, in terms of time spent.
There is something to be said for the discipline of priestly celibacy.

 

[KyPerson]

One of my good friends is the wife of a retired Methodist minister and she can vouch for that. She said her husband was often so consumed with his church and congregation that the family was second best.

 

[Brendan_64]

When it comes to family life I think there is a whole whack load of occupations that would present similar statistics.

There will be some, but I would think not many, jobs that require people to be on call 24/7. That’s different from being on a rota for on call. I would think that would not be good for family life.

 

[OddBird]

Yes, choosing between acting as a spouse and acting as a pastor is always a loyalty conflict. One constantly has to decide whether to privilege, for this once, one’s spouse (or children) or the church. Often the church calls louder, but there are also times when one’s vocation as a spouse (or parent) comes first, and it is difficult not to feel guilty of neglect, in one case as in the other.

 

[Lenten_ashes]

I’ve talked to a priest who converses with protestant pastors. And he says the pastors flat out say how they envy him for being celibate and being able to focus solely on the Kingdom. They are run ragged with their phones ringing off the hook, etc. Hard to balance family life.

But I have also wondered if allowing priests to marry would help decrease the amount of sex scandal in the Church. It’s just a discipline so it could eventually change.

 

[on_the_hill]

I always use “priest” Unless specifically referring to the priest in his official role as pastor of the parish. And those conversations are usually with a fellow Catholic.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

But I have also wondered if allowing priests to marry would help decrease the amount of sex scandal in the Church.

I find that doubtful, given the number of married men who get accused of sexual abuse of minors, child pornography possession, and sexual abuse/ harassment of adult women. It’s also not unusual for a married man to have a consensual affair and if a married priest did that, then it’s not a simple matter of telling the priest to knock it off and sending him to a psych facility and then to another parish, but one also has to be concerned about the damage to the priest’s marriage and to his family.

Plus once the priest is married, his wife could also engage in some type of scandalous behavior even if he doesn’t. Wife gets lonely and has an affair with a parishioner for example.

People assume that married men are (a) not gay and (b) have a sexual outlet and (c) are somehow more well balanced than celibate men. Unfortunately, even if a, b and c are all true - and that is a HUGE “if” - there are plenty of straight men with attractive wives who still end up in sex scandals. Just look at all the married politicians with nice-looking wives who end up on the front page.

 

[Dhc8_Type]

My mom’s dad and her grandpa were active pastors for 50 years. My dad 40 years and counting his dad 55 years. From my experience as a pastor’s kid dad was always there at our events growing up. He spends about 7 hours a week on his sermon, 20 hours on outreach and home bound visits, the rest is what ever comes up. He does routinely make sure he takes a day for himself once a week as well.

In my line of work I’m away from home 17-20 days a month as we live in North Dakota but I crew out of Philadelphia now.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

That’s great that your dad was around for you. I notice that he seems to spend a lot less time preparing his sermon than the pastors who I’ve heard talk about spending 20 hours a week just on that.
May I ask how big was his congregation?