Stoicism and Mental Struggles hi

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Until you realize how perfect love works, nothing about Catholicism or any branch of Christianity is going to make complete sense to you.

Perfect love = forgetting oneself and willing the good of another. That’s how God works.

God, who is perfect love, says “Do this” and “Don’t do this” because it’s what’s best for us, His creation, whom He loves and wants the best for. That’s the reason for God’s “rules”—He doesn’t say “don’t do this” or “do things this way” to take away our fun or place a burden on us. He commands them because following them is what’s best for us.

Those who let God into their hearts and love Him do not see these rules as burdens or a need to “please” a peeved parent who’s waiting to whack them with a switch if they dare disobey. Rather, they see them as God’s way of living in love. And when they do sin, they trust God’s mercy, as forgiveness is made possible by the death and Resurrection of His Son.
 
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Psalm30, I think my sarcasm and feelings are giving everyone the impression that I haven’t read or studied theology and Catholicism. I have gotten deep into in the past. None of that stopped or helped me accept or deal with my issues. If a relationship with God is separate from what is also a huge part of me and my experiences, then I’m ok with not having it as a part of my life. Y’all act as if Christianity doesn’t encourage immature ways of seeing God, but it actually does. Sure, there are mature Catholics and Saints. I’m all for having a mature relationship with God. And, I don’t think I need the church’s opinion on the matter. Because the messages clash and make things confusing for me. If it doesn’t for you, great.
 
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Knightswhosayni said:
If a relationship with God is separate then what is also a huge part of me and my experiences then I’m ok with not having it as a part of my life.
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I’m sorry to hear that. I truly believe that if you correctly understood Christianity, you would feel otherwise. Peace to you.
 
I’ve understood it from all the angles at some point. I don’t think going deeper helped me to be less anxious or closer to God. All the analysis and deep thought caused me more anguish. I’m not saying morality doesn’t have it’s place, but Catholicism lays everything on thick. I respect it, I do, but I don’t feel compelled to adhere to many of it’s black and white ideals. Black and white thinking is part of my illness.
 
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Just one more thing thing to consider…

Christianity has something you won’t find anywhere else. Nowhere else will you find someone who loved so desperately He was willing to be beaten to a pulp, have thorns pounded into His head, have nails driven through His hands and feet, and die the most horrific death imaginable, all in order to give you a chance to have eternal happiness in Paradise. I don’t say that to be preachy, I just say that to point out that what Christianity offers is difficult to top. Everything that brings happiness in this life is finite. God’s happiness lasts forever, even after death.
Knightswhosayni said:
Black and white thinking is part of my illness.
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The Church works to be consistent in her teachings, and consistency is important. Otherwise important aspects get omitted or ignored, and the Church’s job isn’t to edit what God has given to us.

However, the Church has much more compassion and mercy than the black and white notions that are thrown around by many of her members…including many people on this forum. Careful who you talk to. Not every Catholic’s views reflect the actual views/teachings of the Church.
 
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Yes, I find most people get caught up and see rules, not people. Jesus seems to be the only one with the compassion to look passed the rules to the actual person. Sure, some Catholics are wiser, but not most. I dont consider my authority to be above a church. But, if I don’t respect that authority, then I shouldn’t stay. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I think leaving is the respectful option.
 
Knightswhosayni said:
Yes, I find most people get caught up and see rules, not people. Jesus seems to be the only one with the compassion to look passed the rules to the actual person.
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Jesus is the only one that matters. And, He’s the same as God. There’s no difference between the two.
Knightswhosayni said:
Sure, some Catholics are wiser, but not most.
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This shouldn’t matter. The Church isn’t in the wrong. The ones who are misinformed and place undue burdens on people—that the Church does not place on people—are in the wrong.
Knightswhosayni said:
I don’t consider my authority to be above a church. But, if I don’t respect that authority, then I shouldn’t stay. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I think leaving is the respectful option.
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I hope you will reconsider, or one day return. I hope you come to realize that what the Church teaches (really teaches) is true and that our hearts are restless until we rest in God.
 
Christianity took Stoicism threw in guilt and petty judgemental attitudes then expect people who struggle with pettiness and manipulation to not be confused. Yeah, blame the sinner.
 
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Knightswhosayni said:
If you have to have an ideal childhood for Catholicism/Christianity to be a right fit, then I’m ok with finding answers elsewhere.
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Honestly, it’s not about being the “right fit” at all. Christianity is right because it’s true.

Contrary to what many people think, there is only one truth. It’s not okay to pick and choose what you want to believe. That’s what I was talking about earlier, about the Church being consistent in her teachings. It’s not okay to “edit out” what is difficult or what you don’t like. Those who allow the love of God in their hearts don’t see this as a burden. Difficult yes, but not a burden. They accept it with joy.

You can find answers elsewhere, but they won’t be the truth. The truth is sometimes hard to accept, but it is better than being told something that isn’t true, even if it’s something you don’t like or want to hear.
 
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I can agree that alot of what the church teaches is a good ideal. How to live out that ideal, well, not everyone can meet up to the expectation. It doesn’t mean their wrong to have that ideal. It just means that maybe it’s too high of an expectation for everyone. God isn’t that way ( I dont believe).but the Church is from my experience. I can believe that they have my best interest at heart, but still think they are too idealistic and not realistic. And, that I shouldn’t be damned to hell for not living up to their ideal.
 
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Being a patient, loving mother. Not refusing sex to a spouse. Not doing things with your spouse that are fun, but technically and legally a sin because the rules say this is always bad under every circumstance. Confess all these personal things to a stranger or God doesn’t want you to receive him. I mean the list goes on. These small personal sins destroy the body of Christ. Shall I go on?
 
How does the Churches behavior not classify as manipulative? I’ll tell you why, power. We have no power, they do. If we behave as they do, it would be considered manipulative and abnormal. But, if God’s on your side, it’s guidance and for your own good.
 
How do you know Christianity is true? We dont actually know that,but some of us believe it is. The churches rules aren’t truth. They are put there to avoid potential error, hurt, mistakes. But, not everyone is doing anything as horrible as they claim. They’ll have you believe that any misstep is the start to a pathway to hell. If you think it’s no big deal, next thing you know, you’ll be a murderer and adulterer. It’s ridiculous. Jesus really cares and is so hurt if someone uses a condom. I actually don’t in my marriage, but it’s just the weight they put on these things is absurd. They can’t give any leeway, because then no one will take them seriously. I get it, I do. Someday my children will be rebellious sinners, and I’ll have myself to blame and God will be hanging on a cross because of me. I’m pretty much done with sarcastically berating the church now.
 
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Knightswhosayni said:
Being a patient, loving mother.
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Not sure what this means.
Knightswhosayni said:
Not refusing sex to a spouse.
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This is greatly exaggerated by some Catholics. Insisting a spouse have sex on demand isn’t right either. It’s not okay to refuse your spouse out of anger or for long periods without good reason. But the Church does not command married couples to be drop everything and meet their spouses “needs” at their spouse’s every whim. As I said before, be careful who you talk to.
Knightswhosayni said:
Not doing things with your spouse that are fun, but technically and legally a sin because the rules say this is always bad under every circumstance.
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I don’t know what your understanding of this is, but there is more flexibility in this than you may think. The Church (in being consistent) says all sexual relations between married couples must be ordered toward procreation (if you want me to define what that means, I’ll do it in a PM). But as long as each act ends up in a way that is ordered toward procreation, there aren’t too many other restrictions.
Knightswhosayni said:
Confess all these personal things to a stranger or God doesn’t want you to receive him.
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The sacraments make God’s love tangible to us. Jesus gives priests the authority to forgive sins in Scripture. It’s not made up by the Church. Being able to hear the words “Your sins are forgiven, go in peace,” is for our benefit. However, as my parish’s current priest reiterates over and over, God is not bound by the sacraments. If someone who is repentant and intends to confess dies before having the chance to go to Confession, God can still forgive them.
Knightswhosayni said:
These small personal sins destroy the body of Christ.
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Yes, but God’s mercy and the redemptive power of Christ’s passion and death triumph over sin.
 
The mercy part I agree with. The physicality of the sacraments is beautiful. The guilt, the penalties, the penatential attitudes, the sorrow, etc. Maybe I’m just a cold person, but this is nonsense to me. I’m pretty sure there is no flexibility about having fun if it doesn’t end in two bodies fully connected by the end. I’m very familiar with what is/isn’t acceptable.
 
I’ve never been embarrassed to reveal what sins I’ve committed. I have no pride about that. However, it’s that I’m not actually sorry for doing things that don’t actually do anything substantial to anyone but me and my spouse. It’s our business l. My body is supposed to be a gift to my spouse. But, actually it’s still mine. Yeah, I should feel bad about alot of this stuff, but I don’t. I should be more respectful to the idea that marriage is a sacrament, but I’m not. Yes, I should care that my husband needs to be physical. But, with four kids and mental issues, I’m selfish. I dont want more kids, and I shouldn’t have more. And, NFP is a pain in everyone’s rear. It’s not joyful, it’s awful and anxiety inducing. And, I have a husband who knows everything about my cycle. I still hate it!! If all that sends me to hell, so be it.
 
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Knightswhosayni said:
How do you know Christianity is true? We dont actually know that,but some of us believe it is.
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There’s plenty of evidence that it’s true. No proof, but evidence. No one can force you to believe it if you don’t want to. But there is only one truth. We can have different viewpoints, but only one thing is true. That’s what is special about Catholicism—consistent declaration of truth without watering down or omitting what we don’t like or don’t agree with. You can refuse to accept it if you want, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the truth.
Knightswhosayni said:
The guilt, the penalties, the penatential attitudes, the sorrow, etc. Maybe I’m just a cold person, but this is nonsense to me.
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Well, you’re entitled to your opinion. I’m afraid I don’t see it that way. Guilt is not unhealthy. Yes, there are people who are scrupulous and overly obsessed with sin (I am one of them) and that’s not right or healthy. But I’ve had priests tell me over and over again—in the confessional—that I need to stop beating myself up and recognizing that God loves me and is merciful. But there’s nothing cruel about healthy guilt. If we do something wrong, we must recognize it and make amends. Penitential attitudes are directly connected to that.
Knightswhosayni said:
I’m pretty sure there is no flexibility about having fun if it doesn’t end in two bodies fully connected by the end.
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Once again, God’s design. Not watering down the truth. Because it’s what’s best for us. Is it difficult to accept? At times, yes. But in the end it is better to follow it, for our own good. The misuse of sex leads to much of the pain and unhappiness currently in our world.
 
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