I want to be closer to God. I am a lesbian who is in a committed relationship for 8 years now. We have a baby boy too. I don’t need the whole debate of is being gay a sin. I just need advice. Should I just stop being gay to get closer to Him? I mean I can properly stop the prshical side of it but the emotional aspect of not loving her as my spouse I don’t know. Then if we just stay friends how do I explain what type of relationship to our son? Should I just turn my back on the gay community? Than again what if God isn’t even asking me to sacrifice this and I am just causing myself anguish? Thanks
I’m Catholic now, but I used to be Presbyterian. Probably a good 25 years ago now, I heard a guest speaker from Sydney at the Presbyterian Church I was then attending.
To set the background, Sydney is to Australian homosexuals as San Francisco is to American. They have a (often offensive in some respects) Gay Mardi Gras every year for example.
There’s also a morals campaigner in Sydney, Rev. Fred Nile, who is also a member of the New South Wales upper house in parliament, akin to the Senate in Australian Federal politics or the House of Lords in the British parliament. He’s not liked by the homosexual community, and that’s an understatement.
According to the speaker’s own testimony, he had been a homosexual in Sydney, and involved in everything going. You name it, he was in it, including BDSM (I think). He said he and other homosexuals used to stand on street corners in Kings Cross (Sydney’s red light district) discussing how they’d kill Fred Nile.
At some stage though he tried to commit suicide, but obviously didn’t succeed. He then became a Christian, ironically through a Christian outfit with links to the same Fred Nile he’d so much despised before. By the time I heard him speak, they were on first name terms - Mr. Nile was now “Fred”.
However the bug was too much for him, and he fell back into the homosexual temptation, just like an alcoholic falling off the wagon.
In despair, and although a new Christian, he set himself up for a second suicide attempt. And this time he was really serious.
He said he was all set to go, and was just about to pull the plug for the last time, when he claimed that Christ materialised in the corner of the lounge room (where he was about to commit suicide), moved towards him, and somehow merged with him.
He said from that time on
he never even had to struggle with homosexual temptation. He’d also married a Christian woman who accepted him as he was was, and with his past, and he had two young sons at the time if I remember rightly. They were also present when he was speaking, although I think the two boys were a bit young to understand what their father was saying at the time.
He was a young man then, but he’d be a middle aged former homosexual these days, assuming he is still going.
Now that was his testimony. I don’t have a problem with the claim that Christ materialised in the room, as my own father materialised in my bedroom the night he died, but with a less happy ending. For other people with no such experience under their belt, they might find it a bit hard to accept.
Yet there it was. So there’s clearly some spiritual component in the homosexual lifestyle.
As to why Christ doesn’t do this for every suicidal homosexual, or even everyone who wants to change, I don’t know. Most of us seem to be left to struggle with the same old temptations whether we’re Christian or not. And we usually have pet sins - I hardly have an impulse to gamble in my body. But carnal thoughts? Now that’s another kettle of fish!
I simply offer the story to you to get you to realise that there is a very real spiritual component to your lifestyle, and I wonder if you realise just how much.
