Stop Masturbation

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CatholicMan2412

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Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this. I’ve posted something on the topic of masturbation (from a very different angle) and no one said it was in the wrong place, so I hope I’m okay this time. If it’s not, then someone please help me post this somewhere else. 😃

Hello, my name is Anthony. Recently I discovered, that many Catholics, of all ages, men and women, are committing the grave mortal sin of masturbation.

Masturbation is the sin of touching one’s genitals for sexual pleasure. Not only did Saint Thomas Aquinas condemn it as wrong, (and the Church has said for us to deeply rely on him! Saint Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!) but the Church as a whole has, I believe.

Since genitals on both men and women are sensitive, you can understand why people commit it. Even Catholics.

I will even go now to say, I have committed the sin of masturbation. I started around three years ago, and basically…I’ve been going none-stop since. Once a day, or every other day. I knew it was wrong, and I still do. That’s why I’m still fighting it, and I want to help any fellow brothers and sisters in Christ with this sin.

Recently, I haven’t been masturbating as much, which makes me very happy. After any time I would masturbate, I will feel so dirty, as I should. I am sure many of you have felt the “dirty” feeling. And I can tell you first-hand, as soon as you begin to stop, you will feel happier!

So now I’m going to give you advice for what’s helped me stop:
  1. Pray the Rosary: As Padre Pio said, Prayer is our only Weapon. The devil will try all in his power to tempt you into masturbation (or any sin) as much as he can. But when we say the Rosary, it’s like the Blessed Mother enters our house and visits us. Satan is afraid of the Blessed Mother, and if you pray to the Blessed Mother, she will help you, and make sure Satan keeps far away. And of course, ask Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to help you “never commit the sin of masturbation again!”
  2. Don’t get Sad: Usually, when I would masturbate, I would feel very sad throughout the day. As punishment, I would prevent myself from doing my favorite hobbies (Video Games, Music, etc). And of course, I would feel bad from missing my hobbies, but mainly from offending God. Well, let me say now: don’t get so down after you masturbate. Simply say an Act of Contrition, ask Jesus for his forgiveness (with or without tears) and if you are TRULY sorrowful, God will have forgiven you. You MUST still confess it of course, but you will still have Perfect Contrition. If you were to die, you would not perish in Hell for that sin. And if you ever feel bad in the day, just say a prayer, and forget you committed the sin. I know it’s hard, but fight it! Don’t even remember it!
  3. Stop Being Alone: Whether it happens when you’re alone, or because no one can see you, you need to do your part, and be in a place where you can’t masturbate (in front of your family, or a picture of Our Lord). Many times, I was alone with a Laptop. I think you figure out where it went. Not good. But once, I was going to work on something on a Laptop alone, but just in case, I went downstairs with my family. As long as you CAN’T commit the sin, you’re not. Even if you want to, as long as you stay down where you can’t and say something like: “Satan, Go Away! I do not want to sin against God ever AGAIN!” you will not commit ANY sin, and obtain a virtue, with greater merit in Heaven.
  4. Ask for God’s Help: After masturbation, I would ask God to give me the grace to never commit it again. Not long later I planned to masturbate. I was waiting for my family to leave, so I could do it quickly, but as I was getting ready, something in me said “NO! NEVER AGAIN!” It was God helping me! Sure enough, I ended up not masturbating! God will give you the grace if you pray. There will still be temptations, but we HAVE to fight them! Pray to God that he’ll help you never masturbate again! And you pray enough, he WILL help you.
You may not get over masturbation right away, but don’t give up! Jesus is with you! Pray to Him, and He WILL help you! Pray to His Blessed Mother as well!

And if it makes you feel better, I too, will pray for you all (even if you don’t struggle with masturbation)! God Bless You All! :D:D:D
 
I think it’s worth noting that the original post seems to have just as much, if not more, to do with pornography than just masturbation.

Anyway, it’s got some good advice to offer.
 
I am glad you are so enthusiastic about this Anthony. If I had your attitude at your age I am sure my life would have been much easier ! It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship with Our Lord, and his Holy Mother.

I hope you continue hanging around in the forum!

In Christ,
esieffe
 
Good advice. God bless you for reaching out to help other people.

I am sure it gets easier to resist that temptation the more you turn away from it.

Just a note; perfect contrition is very hard to achieve. It is basically a statement that says “My God, I love you above all things, I am sorry for my sin because I love you and not because of fear of punishment. I will never do this sin again”.

It is best to get to Confession as soon as possible after committing any Mortal sin.
 
I am sure that those are good strategies for stopping masturbation.
 
jaimeleglise said:
Just a note; perfect contrition is very hard to achieve. It is basically a statement that says “My God, I love you above all things, I am sorry for my sin because I love you and not because of fear of punishment. I will never do this sin again”.

It is best to get to Confession as soon as possible after committing any Mortal sin.
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It can be very hard to achieve perfect contrition, but then again. Some people like me had committed it so many times, it becomes easier, as they never want to commit it again. Not trying to prideful here. I’m still a grave sinner.

And of course you are right: it is very important to go to confession, as soon as possible.
 
Thanks for all your replies! I’ve read every single one so far! Thanks, and God Bless You All! 😃
 
Since so much of this problem is exacerbated by the Internet (man am I ever GLAD that I grew up before computers) here’s a prayer you can even post on your desktop. It is also great if you are prone (like me) to getting into debates online.
 
Well it’s a very difficult problem to overcome. Sexual desire is to use a computer term; in our hard drive, and there is very little most people can do about it. It ranks in sexually mature people among our strongest instincts after food and drink.
There are reasons why people masturbate and not all are perverse. Sometimes it could be for medical reasons such as a sample for a sperm count. Another could be that within a marriage one partner finds full sex too physically painful, as my wife does.
I think the issue will never be resolved and will be a constant conflict between flesh and spirit.
It certainly must be sensibly and compassionately discussed with young people, in my opinion the worst thing to do is to make someone feel ashamed of their body, that is a cruel action and is a form of mental abuse, I know from personal experience in my teens.
How many Catholics could truly sit in front of a priest and admit to masturbating. I am honest when I say I could not.
Perhaps as a relatively new Catholic I do not understand the implications of this particular mortal sin.
 
If we’re being real and honest here I would say that most teenagers going through puberty, especially boys, discover masturbation by accident. And once they do, that’s all they do for the next few years. I personally believe this is completely normal, healthy and not at all any kind of mortal sin, or any kind of sin. Ask any medical professional and they will tell you the same thing. I do believe the guilt and fear imposed by some parents/clergy on younger teens who are maturing can be absolutely harmful though.
 
Strydersroom said:
If we’re being real and honest here I would say that most teenagers going through puberty, especially boys, discover masturbation by accident. And once they do, that’s all they do for the next few years. I personally believe this is completely normal, healthy and not at all any kind of mortal sin, or any kind of sin. Ask any medical professional and they will tell you the same thing. I do believe the guilt and fear imposed by some parents/clergy on younger teens who are maturing can be absolutely harmful though.
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Sexual desire and attraction are completely normal, yes.

But masturbation and pornography as they exist today are, I think, largely a product of a society that has a LOT of leisure time. They are addictive behaviors and turn someone inward to focus only on the self and objectify others. That is absolutely problematic.

The advice to get busy, socialize, and help others help with all selfish unhealthy impulses, which can apply to a lot of non-sexual things too.
 
Strydersroom said:
If we’re being real and honest here I would say that most teenagers going through puberty, especially boys, discover masturbation by accident. And once they do, that’s all they do for the next few years.
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Well, speaking for myself, I did a few other things.
I do believe the guilt and fear imposed by some parents/clergy on younger teens who are maturing can be absolutely harmful though.
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While I believe that most parents have their teenager’s best interests at heart, there are some who react to masturbation in a totally disproportionate manner. They probably internalized the experience of being “caught in the act” by their own parents and consequently react irrationally when they discover their own child’s behavior.
 
I might be in the minority, but I find the whole concept disgusting. Maybe it’s different for guys I guess. I mean, stop and THINK about what you’re doing. It doesn’t make sense!!?? What are you doing!!?? EWWWWW

I will pray for those who are having trouble with this!
 
I am trying to use logical thinking on myself to stop that.

Remember that most pornstars are 18 or even underage girls, would you have sex in real life with them?

Some of them are really forced to do that, some of them were raped and have children and it’s the only way to feed them.

Last night while checking some scenes, I noticed that some pornstars have c section and stretch marks on their bodies, some of them carried and maybe aborted, most of the time against their will, porn and masturbation maybe debatable but killing is not.

If you follow porn really close, you see that a girl rarely stays in the industry more than six months, an in real life days, one of the girls I fell for and loved shot all of her scenes in less than a week and vanished, would someone happy with what he is doing stop in less than a week?

Most of the girls have fake names, who does that unless he knows that what he is doing is wrong?

Lastly, please don’t judge pornstars, judge the gangsters who make them do that.

Unless you have some kind of psychological disorder and afraid from girl, try asking a girl out, you’ll feel better than watching all the porn in the world.

May Jesus, help you, me and all people struggling with this.
 
JosephHope said:
I am trying to use logical thinking on myself to stop that.

Remember that most pornstars are 18 or even underage girls, would you have sex in real life with them?

Some of them are really forced to do that, some of them were raped and have children and it’s the only way to feed them.

Last night while checking some scenes, I noticed that some pornstars have c section and stretch marks on their bodies, some of them carried and maybe aborted, most of the time against their will, porn and masturbation maybe debatable but killing is not.

If you follow porn really close, you see that a girl rarely stays in the industry more than six months, an in real life days, one of the girls I fell for and loved shot all of her scenes in less than a week and vanished, would someone happy with what he is doing stop in less than a week?

Most of the girls have fake names, who does that unless he knows that what he is doing is wrong?

Lastly, please don’t judge pornstars, judge the gangsters who make them do that.

Unless you have some kind of psychological disorder and afraid from girl, try asking a girl out, you’ll feel better than watching all the porn in the world.

May Jesus, help you, me and all people struggling with this.
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Most of the above statements are pure speculation, false and contradictory
 
Strydersroom said:
Most of the above statements are pure speculation, false and contradictory
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Unfortunately not, I am an expert in that domain, as I wrote elsewhere, I do not watch porn for the mere act, I watch to collect information about the actress, the date and time of shooting, the size of the file, the resolution, the location, the extras involved,…

Everybody remember that we cannot outsin Jesus’s Mercy, he is always on the door knocking.
 
I’m a 17 year old girl and I’ve been struggling with it since I was a freshman, so… three years now? I’ve been utterly trapped for three years. I didn’t even know it was bad when I started and the first time I did it, it was a complete accident. Your words are comforting. I can’t drive on my own so I can’t go to confession whenever I want, but I do go to a Catholic school that holds confessions every week. I used to take advantage of this, but I eventually got to the point of being too humiliated to go. It’s humiliating telling an old guy something as dirty as that, especially since I’m a girl. It’s awkward. I know that that shouldn’t stop me from going, but it just does. I’m 80% sure I’m going straight to Hell if I were to die right now and that terrifies me. I’m honestly tired after three years of this and just want to be free. It’s affecting my spiritual life, school life, and even my family life. I’m gonna try praying the rosary everyday, but as a senior in high school, I’m buried under piles of homework, projects, papers, and college applications. It sucks that on top of all that stuff, I’ve got this to worry about too that interferes with my life.
 
Something that helped my situation was exercising regularly. I struggled with feelings of low self-worth for years. By working out, I did something good just for myself and that changed my mindset because I realized that I was worthy of bettering myself.

I also suggest checking out the Nofap subreddit. They have lots of good advice and some good physiological information. I will pray for you all.
 
Aquilina16 said:
I’m a 17 year old girl and I’ve been struggling with it since I was a freshman, so… three years now? I’ve been utterly trapped for three years. I didn’t even know it was bad when I started and the first time I did it, it was a complete accident. Your words are comforting. I can’t drive on my own so I can’t go to confession whenever I want, but I do go to a Catholic school that holds confessions every week. I used to take advantage of this, but I eventually got to the point of being too humiliated to go. It’s humiliating telling an old guy something as dirty as that, especially since I’m a girl. It’s awkward. I know that that shouldn’t stop me from going, but it just does. I’m 80% sure I’m going straight to Hell if I were to die right now and that terrifies me. I’m honestly tired after three years of this and just want to be free. It’s affecting my spiritual life, school life, and even my family life. I’m gonna try praying the rosary everyday, but as a senior in high school, I’m buried under piles of homework, projects, papers, and college applications. It sucks that on top of all that stuff, I’ve got this to worry about too that interferes with my life.
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It may very well be that you’ve got this as a maladaptive coping behavior. Other people use alcohol or drugs or food or gambling or other behaviors. None of them are good for you, but they provide a temporary release and are, on a surface level, easier than healthy coping behaviors or dealing with the primary issue.

The first thing I’d do in your case is make sure you are getting good food and good sleep. Go to bed tired, so you eliminate a really tempting time for yourself, but also get up at a regular time and don’t depend on caffeine or other stimulants to stay awake. Don’t spend lots of time alone - see if there’s a common area of your home where you can complete your academic work, or even at your school or library. A regular exercise routine - which can be as easy as a good brisk walk, will help tire out your body and help you clear your head (I would avoid music because it just bombards the brain with more “noise” and you probably need a break from brain noise!)

Get good quality time with your family and friends too, and have a good routine for your daily life that involves time for prayer. This is a hard time psychologically because there’s a lot of preparation involved and it’s a transition to a new time in life, but it will help you in college to be focused and self-assured without relying on substances or bad behaviors. And while it can be awkward, keep in mind that awkwardness of confession every time you feel tempted to stray. Sometimes the eternal feels too distant, but you know what it feels like to say out loud what you’ve done. That’s a strong motivator for me!

God bless you.
 
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