Submission as a wife

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OutinChgoburbs said:
I’m sorry to be confused here, and very sorry for your divorce, but…are you sure you’re Catholic? I’ve never been in a Catholic parish where there were elders and ladies involved in divorces.:confused:
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Yes I am catholic and the priest tried to counsel him and he wouldnt listen. That is when they brought the elders in.
It did not work.
 
I don’t think wifely submission means drugery. I just think it means that someone has to have the final word or make the final decision. Since God placed the husband as head of the household it seems to me that the husband should have the last word. But in no regard should he act without his wifes (name removed by moderator)ut. Marriage should be a partnership or a team not a dictatorship. As man needs woman so does woman need man. 👍 and both need GOD.:cool:
 
mariam1976 said:
Yes I am catholic and the priest tried to counsel him and he wouldnt listen. That is when they brought the elders in.
It did not work.
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I am sorry I am really confused…what or who the heck are the “elders” in the Catholic Church? Never heard of this before in reference to the Catholic Church.
 
Karin said:
I am sorry I am really confused…what or who the heck are the “elders” in the Catholic Church? Never heard of this before in reference to the Catholic Church.
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They are just elderly couples in the church who stepped in to try and prevent the divorce when the priest asked them to give us a perspective.

It did not help.
 
“WIVES, BE SUBJECT TO YOUR HUSBANDS”:
THE AUTHORITY OF THE HUSBAND ACCORDING TO THE MAGISTERIUM

INTRODUCTION

The words, “Wives, be subject to your husbands,” jar many modern ears. Even though this exhortation comes from an inspired text in Sacred Scripture (Ephesians 5:22), many people–including practicing Catholics–are troubled by what appears to be a relic of Marriage customs “rightly” abandoned by contemporary culture. Those who resist any notion of hierarchy or patriarchy in the social order vigorously reject St. Paul’s concept of Marriage as an attack on the dignity of women. Even those Christians not hostile to Paul’s teaching may believe that given the state of modern society, there is little to be gained by investigating–let alone applying–Paul’s prescriptions concerning the relationship of the spouses. However, one Catholic scholar, Stephen Clark, suggests that the controversy or unease over the family order described in Ephesians 5:21-33 is a relatively recent phenomenon. Regarding the question of a “head of the family” he writes, “Few areas in early Christian teaching are as uniform and fewer still were held with the same consistency as long as this one, since the first Christian voices advocating a different approach were raised only in about the nineteenth century.” Clark continues, “There are few instances where it is clearer that a change in the approach of Christians is an abandonment of Christian tradition, and not only of tradition, but of every source of authoritative teaching that can lay claim on a Christian.”[

more](http://www.familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artId=185)…
 
howarya said:
I never said you weren’t supposed to love your husband… all Christians are supposed to love one another.

Husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5) - and we know that Christ died for the church, therefore if husbands want to obey Christ completely, they need to “die” to their own selfish wants in order to love their wives.

Now, if your husband lived like that, would you have a hard time submitting to him?

Do you think a husband like that would be a selfish, jealous tyrant who didn’t care about his wife’s wants and needs?

In answer to your 3 questions, here goes:
  1. A submissive wife would ask her husband if he had any issues with her going out with her friends. It’s really not a big deal to check with your spouse before just going off and doing whatever you want…
  2. A submissive wife wouldn’t usurp authority over her husband, and would humbly submit to her husbands wishes… even though she doesn’t agree with him. But again, a truly loving husband would put his wife’s interests ahead of his own - especially in issues that aren’t spiritually important (like barcaloungers). However, if the husband failed to love his wife in this matter, I believe God’s Word still teaches that the woman must OBEY her husband - despite her lack of agreement.
  3. Again, the wife should obey her husband - and then try to reason with him privately.
The question is, do you WANT to obey God’s Word? Or do you just want to be a woman of the world who’s come a “long way baby”?

Lack of submission to your husband is ultimately a sign & symptom of your lack of submission to the Word of God.
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Just curious, are you male or female? Married or single?
 
mariam1976 said:
yes I am not thrilled about the outcome of my actions and I have tried to get him back… asking his forgiveness for every hurt and telling him that I will do everything that he wants me to do to save this marriage but he does not want to reconcile anymore.
I appreciate the fact that you are interested in knowing his side of the story… shows that u r fair minded…
Maybe you could pray for me?? 😦
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Sounds like you have your answer mariam, as bitter a pill as that is to swallow. No elders or anyone else is going to change this man’s mind. We can pray, we can hope, but in the end unless he admits he has made a mistake and wants to “grow up” and be a husband to you and father to the kids, there is little that can be done for him. For you, there is plenty. You have the loving support of your parish priest and the people in the parish are there for you. You are not alone. Don’t beg and plead for him and don’t use “scare tatics” about the church being against divorce, et al…he obviously could care less. You have the folks on this board as well, some who have been through the same experiences…got their marriage annulled and moved on with their lives. Experience is the best teacher.

I wish you nothing but the best…you are on the right track, just don’t sit there or you’ll get run over.

Juli
 
Wives should expect, if husbands love their wives as Christ loved the Church, that their husbands will work themselves to death and, in fact … die, seven years earlier than the wives.

And, demographic data suggest that men do, in fact, die seven years sooner than women.

So, … is there a connection between men dying “prematurely” and the Biblical instruction to men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church?
 
lisalisa said:
No, you are completely wrong in saying I am wrong. It takes two to make a marriage work. 50/50 meaning one is the wife, one is the husband. You want to call it 100/100 be my guest, it’s all the same.
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Yep, I want a wife to have the guts to call me out on something if I’m heading in the wrong direction, and she wants the same from me. Marriage is a partnership.

However, I always keep in mind that old saying, “If Mom’s not happy, nobody is happy”. 😃

Married for 25 years!
 
mikew262 said:
Yep, I want a wife to have the guts to call me out on something if I’m heading in the wrong direction, and she wants the same from me. Marriage is a partnership.

However, I always keep in mind that old saying, “If Mom’s not happy, nobody is happy”. 😃
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well said MIke…well said. Ain’t it the truth !!😃

Married 25 yrs as well! Empty nest years…here we come!!!
 
Karianne said:
I am a feminist, however, you are correct. The woman submits to the man and he submits to Christ. Anyone arguing that point does not argue with you but with the bible.VERY TRUE

It’s very important that man not be puffed up ? about her submission, but the requirement for wives is there. VERY TRUE AGAIN

If two people can’t work out how they can work in concert with each other, each doing what they do best, they should not be married in the first place. BUT NOW THE POINT BECOMES, SINCE THE DECISION TO MARRY WAS MADE AND THE DECLARATION BEFORE GOD WAS THE PROMISE TILL DEATH DO YOU PART, THEN THE PROMISE IS TO BE KEPT RIGHT?./quote]

There are many that refuse to follow the original intent and expectation of marriage, to be forever. Holy Mother Church sometimes allows a civil divorce to take place to protect those involved. But in the eyes of Holy Mother Church they are still married and not free to date or re-marry. An annulment from Rome is the only exception to this.

In my opinion men a d women should take more time prior to marriage to determine if this is the person you can live with for life.
There is an ad that I heard that I disagree with. It says that you should pick the person you can’t live without not the one you feel you can live with. I think it is back wards, you should pick the one you can live with not the one you feel you can’t live without.
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Julianna said:
Sounds like you have your answer mariam, as bitter a pill as that is to swallow. No elders or anyone else is going to change this man’s mind. We can pray, we can hope, but in the end unless he admits he has made a mistake and wants to “grow up” and be a husband to you and father to the kids, there is little that can be done for him. For you, there is plenty. You have the loving support of your parish priest and the people in the parish are there for you. You are not alone. Don’t beg and plead for him and don’t use “scare tatics” about the church being against divorce, et al…he obviously could care less. You have the folks on this board as well, some who have been through the same experiences…got their marriage annulled and moved on with their lives. Experience is the best teacher.

I wish you nothing but the best…you are on the right track, just don’t sit there or you’ll get run over.

Juli
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u r right… i have begged and pleaded with him but no scare tactics… i dont think anything that could scare him 🙂
i only wish that i had worked harder at it instead of just letting it go… that is what i will regret for the rest of my life unfortunately.
 
Karin said:
YOU ARE WRONG…
it actually takes THREE to make a marriage work…husband, wife and God…😃

And if each spouse is only giving 50% each their marriage aint gonna work…they both have to give 100% each to the marriage;)
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If it’s 100/100 where does the submission come in? I like the 100/100 deal, I don’t like the submission word. Does that mean you are asking permission of your husband? If so, then shouldn’t it go both ways, the man should ask permission as well so both are working together.? If that’s the case, wouldn’t that be 100/100?

I am not trying to be a smart***, I am just curious
 
mariam1976 said:
yes I am not thrilled about the outcome of my actions and I have tried to get him back… asking his forgiveness for every hurt and telling him that I will do everything that he wants me to do to save this marriage but he does not want to reconcile anymore.
I appreciate the fact that you are interested in knowing his side of the story… shows that u r fair minded…
Maybe you could pray for me?? 😦
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I will pray for you and I will pray that your marriage is restored. I think that any woman can get any man she wants and what could be better than trying to get your own husband? It sounds like you really love this guy. You probably know him better than anyone else on Earth and you know how he thinks. I’m betting on your success…there will come a time when he will need you, at that point you’ll hold all the cards!

No man is perfect, and in some cases…certain women aren’t perfect…:D. One caveat here, just in case this particular marriage is not what God has in mind I will, of course, always end my prayers with “thy will be done”.
Please pray for me as well.
 
KellyJelly said:
If it’s 100/100 where does the submission come in? I like the 100/100 deal, I don’t like the submission word. Does that mean you are asking permission of your husband? If so, then shouldn’t it go both ways, the man should ask permission as well so both are working together.? If that’s the case, wouldn’t that be 100/100?

I am not trying to be a smart***, I am just curious
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Paul’s exhortation, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord,” connects the wife’s relationship with her husband to her relationship with the Lord, in a sense linking the temporal with the supernatural. Verse 22 continues the Christological perspective begun in verse 21. “The wife’s subordination to the husband is ultimately directed to the Lord, as is the case with the church,” writes Miletic. Kyrio in verse 22 refers only to Christ; the husband is not the “lord” of his wife. Yet the phrase “as to the Lord” governs the meaning of “wives, be subject to your husbands.” Christ establishes the nature of the roles of the spouses and their relationship “because he is concerned for the good order which makes his body functional (Col 2:5).” The husband’s authority, which is ordered to the good of the union of the spouses, comes from God. For the wife to be subject to and render phobos to her husband is for her to be subject to and render phobos to Christ himself.

more…
 
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