Submission as a wife

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Fortunately, i married a reasonable man who agrees with me on the important issues. If people would take time to find someone who can agree with them on the big stuff, submitting to your husband would be no problem. Instead, they jump into bed first thing and cohabit so they’re blinded by carnality and can’t make rational decisions.
I am sorry but I am offended by this statement as I saved myself for marriage and did not jump into bed as u mentioned.
Not everyone does that u know!!!:mad:

I did make mistakes in my marriage as I tried to be the perfect wife and got frustrated with the whole thing… the thing that I regret the most is that I did not stick it out… just let it go…
😦
 
I agree with you. I’m probably going to be flamed and called a lousy Catholic, but I don’t think the Church or St. Paul intended for us to be like children to our husbands. I know that if I behaved as a child and treated my husband as a parent, our marriage would be over in a matter of months.
I agree with you and after all, wasn’t St Paul single anyway? I have friends who liken him to the wookie in Star Wars.

I think that submission means different things to different people, however the bible does call for wives to submit, it just fails to clearly define what that means.
 
I am sorry but I am offended by this statement as I saved myself for marriage and did not jump into bed as u mentioned.
Not everyone does that u know!!!:mad:

I did make mistakes in my marriage as I tried to be the perfect wife and got frustrated with the whole thing… the thing that I regret the most is that I did not stick it out… just let it go…
😦
Well, you did your best and it sounds he was the one who opted out. Its hard to work with a flat leaver.
If he refuses to come back and give the marriage another shot you’re stuck with the whole civil divorce and annulment proceedings.
Protect your money.
Beware of lawyers, I don’t mean you shouldn’t get one, but be careful he/she doesn’t incite you to greater venom than you might feel. Some lawyers do that to prolong the task and to get more of your money.
 
I agree with you and after all, wasn’t St Paul single anyway? I have friends who liken him to the wookie in Star Wars.

I think that submission means different things to different people, however the bible does call for wives to submit, it just fails to clearly define what that means.
I think that love means different things to different people, however the bible does call for husbands to love, it just fails to clearly define what that means.

Touche!

Yeah, submit is a hard word, and I can see why it is a touchy subject. It matters a lot what it means and does not mean, espcially in regard to the whole contect of the verse in it’s context for both the woman and the man.
 
Well, you did your best and it sounds he was the one who opted out. Its hard to work with a flat leaver.
If he refuses to come back and give the marriage another shot you’re stuck with the whole civil divorce and annulment proceedings.
Protect your money.
Beware of lawyers, I don’t mean you shouldn’t get one, but be careful he/she doesn’t incite you to greater venom than you might feel. Some lawyers do that to prolong the task and to get more of your money.
my lawyer did try to do that but i was not interested in the venom. I dont need to be vindictive as I dont know how hurt my husband is with this divorce and whether it is justified on his part. I am leaving it up to God to give me justice whichever way it might be.
I am a strong believer in “what goes around comes around”… 😦
 
I think that love means different things to different people, however the bible does call for husbands to love, it just fails to clearly define what that means.

Touche!
Oh no! I think that that there’s a beautiful explanation, probably written even by Wookie Paul…it starts like this:

Love is patient, love is kind…

It’s the most beautiful passage in the bible to me.
 
Oh no! I think that that there’s a beautiful explanation, probably written even by Wookie Paul…it starts like this:

Love is patient, love is kind…

It’s the most beautiful passage in the bible to me.
And the one who loves, must do so in submission to the Lord.

If you think submitting is hard, try being the one commanded to love and to be like Jesus.
 
Oh no! I think that that there’s a beautiful explanation, probably written even by Wookie Paul…it starts like this:

Love is patient, love is kind…

It’s the most beautiful passage in the bible to me.
You know, I do have a sense of humor, but I really don’t like seeing ST. Paul, one of our most respected Saints, Apostles, and Evangelists referred to as a wookie. I’m as much a Star Wars fan as anyone (and am married to the SW version of a Trekkie) but there’s a time and a place.
 
If it makes you feel any better, I submitted to my employer, and they were nice enough to give me my paycheck. I also submitted to the traffic laws, which means I am allowed to drive to my work. I’m also happy to report many others have done so too, so the drive was relatively safe. At one point in time I almost wanted to say, forget their traffics laws, I want my own, but I decided against it.
I think the thing to realize with the discomfort with submission is that no one is opposed to all submission. No one favors ignoring traffic laws, etc because we think they are good and necessary. The thing about the wife’s submission is that it is gender-based, and this implies, perhaps not intentionally, that there’s something about women that makes this necessary— that women as a group need to be governed.

Kendy
 
I think the thing to realize with the discomfort with submission is that no one is opposed to all submission. No one favors ignoring traffic laws, etc because we think they are good and necessary. The thing about the wife’s submission is that it is gender-based, and this implies, perhaps not intentionally, that there’s something about women that makes this necessary— that women as a group need to be governed.

Kendy
If you ask me, it is gender-based, and it’s not that there is something about women, but more that there is something about men. Men are challanged to not only love but to also take the responsiblity of taking care of the family. If men are left to be unattached to a family, they can very well leave society in trouble. Free to make all kinds of trouble and waste all kinds of resources, espcially leaving women left alone with full responsiblity of the children – having all their time spent either at work or caring for the children.

Women are told to submit, but that is only if the guy is also if he is not asking for anything immoral, or against the dignity of herself or their children. If the man is just making a decision to Lord it over you, he certainly isn’t doing it out of love, but for sinful reasons, and you need not comply, though you should bring it to his attention.
 
I am a 38 year-old convert to Catholicism and also a “submissive wife.” I have no problem with it whatsoever because I have always believed my husband has the harder responsibility, to love me as Christ loves his Church. Of course this works so well because we take these biblical exhortations seriously. If he was abusive and irresponsible, I can’t say it would be so easy to submit!:rolleyes: He hands his paycheck over to me, and trusts me to do all the budgeting, etc. He doesn’t question me about where the money is going or anything, because I am better with money. But whenever there is a decision to be made and we each have our own preferences, I let him be the deciding vote. This helps when I can’t or don’t want to make a decision- I tell him- “you pick! It’s YOUR responsibility.” That way if it was a bad decision, it won’t be my fault!!👍 Our marriage is wonderful, and I think giving him this little bit of power has done wonders for his male ego and confidence. It was as if he realized he had a God-given responsibility and he had to rise to the challenge as head of the family. I remind him that that includes being the *spiritual *head of the family… leading us in prayer, etc. It has made for a wonderful marriage. Young women who bristle at the thought of submitting to a man should examine their own pride issues. If you are serious about following Christ, you must learn to die to yourself. It doesn’t matter what millenium we are in. Happy New Year to All! 🙂
 
Miriam -

Don’t beat yourself up too much. It sounds like you were married to my husband. I started the divorce process this week. 4 years of living with someone who confuses submission with subserivance (sp?) is enough.
 
I wonder if you are referring to some fundamentals who believe that a wife should be submissive. Some of this comes out of promise keepers who believe the man is the boss in the family. I think they are dead wrong. Marriage is a partnership.
I agree marriage is a partnership, And here is a website made by those people who believe that a wife should be submissive.
 
I wonder if you are referring to some fundamentals who believe that a wife should be submissive. Some of this comes out of promise keepers who believe the man is the boss in the family. I think they are dead wrong. Marriage is a partnership.
I agree marriage is a partnership, And here is a website made by those people who believe that a wife should be submissive. ladiesagainstfeminism.com

Any thoughts?
They refer to the Bible and I’m not saying the Bible is wrong, but I disagree with some of LAF’s ideas.
 
Oh no! I think that that there’s a beautiful explanation, probably written even by Wookie Paul…it starts like this:

Love is patient, love is kind…

It’s the most beautiful passage in the bible to me.
I haven’t read much of the Bible yet, but I love this part :heaven:

My favorite line is (I think) that “love does not enumerate the evil”. It’s not love if someone’s picking you apart, pointing out all your flaws and things you did wrong, listing your faults for others, etc.
 
I agree marriage is a partnership, And here is a website made by those people who believe that a wife should be submissive. ladiesagainstfeminism.com

Any thoughts?
They refer to the Bible and I’m not saying the Bible is wrong, but I disagree with some of LAF’s ideas.
Please note that when the bible says that wives are to be submissive to their husbands you must look at the word “submissive.” Sub means under and missive means mission. Therefore the wives are called to be under the mission of their husbands. Now before the wives cringe, you must look at the next part of that passage to find what the husband’s “mission” is. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. The Church is the bride of Christ. We, as husbands are to love our wives that way. WOW!! What an honor that must be for all wives. To be loved and treated that way.
 
Please note that when the bible says that wives are to be submissive to their husbands you must look at the word “submissive.” Sub means under and missive means mission. Therefore the wives are called to be under the mission of their husbands. Now before the wives cringe, you must look at the next part of that passage to find what the husband’s “mission” is. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. The Church is the bride of Christ. We, as husbands are to love our wives that way. WOW!! What an honor that must be for all wives. To be loved and treated that way.
That’s an nice way to put it! 🙂 But some people interpret it VERY differently, and that’s my point…
 
  1. Susan tells Don that her friends Kara, Anne, Besty, and Claire have invited her to a dinner and movie. Should she ask Don’s permission and then ask for the “money” to go? Now, Don has no plans, dinner at 5, Cronkite at 6 and to bed at 10. Should he be the deciding factor if she should go. I’ll throw in 2 kids, one is 3 and the other is 6 just to make interesting.
If Don said “I’m going out.” and just left, how would Susan feel?
It’s a matter of mutual respect for each other’s needs. THAT is why one asks first.
  1. Susan and Don just bought a house. 3 bedroom 2 bath and there is a bonus room/den. Don insists on the large 52" tv screen, his large brown duct taped barcolounger and Chicago Bears beanbag chair to be placed in the living room. Susan suggests that the bonus room/den has plenty of space for him to decorate as he wishes, but he tells her, that she must submit to his wishes because he is the head of the house. Oh and lest we forget, the big deer head over the fireplace.
Again, Susan’s wishes are MORE IMPORTANT than Don’s? Trouble ahead here. Again, compromise is required. This can’t be done without mutual respect.
  1. Don stops by to give Susan something at her lunch hour. He finds her in the break room having lunch with 2 male co workers at one table. There are other tables in the room and there are males and females mixed around. Don calls Susan out to a private area and tells her HE FORBIDS her to eat with men at lunch, even though there are others in the room. Should Susan OBEY?
oooh. This is not good. However, let me turn the tables a bit… Susan tells Don that she’s going out with her friend for the night… Well, turns out she’s really meeting her friend with “the guys from work” and they are out dancing the night away. And it was no accident, I assure you. What should Don think now?
Also, the OBEY has been taken out of the wedding vows for a very long time. I sure didn’t say it in my wedding vows.
You can put in or take out what ever words you want to in your vows, BTW…
Yes, we have come a long way baby.
At one time I thought so too. But I finally figured out it’s a long way from where we need to be.

Any of your examples can and do happen everyday. How we act and work out difficulties is what saves us.

I am a male. My wife gets to do pretty much what ever she pleases. Mostly because she’s rarely selfish. She earns my respect by managing the house and the kids for the most part. I say we share most tasks, but she still does most of the work. One can not demand love and respect, one can only earn it. While one is not entitled to another’s love, unconditional love was promised by both partners at the time of marriage… Or was that taken out of the vows, too?
 
he was a spendthrift and had i given my finances into his hands he would have spend it all on materialistic stuff instead of something concrete like a house or something…
This is a somewhat different issue. Although it is realted in the sense that a person who is a spendthrift isn’t really grown up. Part of the definition/process of growing up is learning to delay gratification–that we don’t always get what we want, when we want it. That means that people have to save for big purchases (and parties), but also that we die to ourselves for others. So maybe a wife cooks the same 7 meals each week because those are her husband’s favorites. And the husband shoves his lounger, deerhead, and TV in the back room and never sits on the white furniture in the living room unless he’s just showered and changed.
 
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