Sudden Death of Moe's 13 Year Old Daughter - Part II

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What a blessing you and your family, most especially your KK have been to so many people. You are on so many people’s minds and hearts so much (mind included) and we all pray for you whenever and wherever you and your family come to mind.

I am sure your book will be exactly the way you and God want it to be. From what I’ve read about you on here, I am sure it will come straight from your heart. A heart that is filled with sorrow and love.

I was so sorry to read about your not being able to go to Mass for a time (so glad you’re back though), we have to praise Him even when it doesn’t seem like we ever can again. One thing that struck me about you and your KK, you sound so much like people who are so close to our good Lord that NOTHING could ever pull you away from Him, don’t let ANYTHING, not even this horrendous, sorrowful loss of your treasured child, not this, above all, ever pull you away from HIM!! Cling to HIM in all things, most especially in your sorrow, and ask His dear Blessed Mother, as I do for you, to comfort you and help you to get through the days where you feel like you can’t breath or think or move. (I am so sure that you probably already do that, that I feel like its not even necessary to remind you.)

If there is one thing, if nothing else, that I am sure of, it is that He loves us all and knows what He is doing, even when we don’t have a clue, and when we can’t see the forrest for the trees. Let everything lead you to HIM, never, away from Him.

Prayers and blessings and everything that is good is wished for and prayed for, for you and yours. You and your family will never be forgotten. You have already made too much of an impression on others. Just reading about your KK on here has made me feel like my life has missed out on one of God’s greatest blessings for having never known her.

I am sure your book will be sucessful and help many breaking hearts…and someday, I too hope to see your KK in eternal happiness! (Her mother has made me want to know such a wonderful little Saint.)

God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you!
 
MGEISING said:
When Tomorrow Never Comes (By Maureen Geisinger, Forever McKayla’s Mom)
Hi:
I just wanted you all to know that I am in the process of writing a book about the day to day survival of facing the reality of suddenly and unexpectedly losing your child. My book, titled When Tomorrow Never Comes, is about Our McKayla.
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This is so exciting!!! I’m so happy for you! This is why this will be a wonderful thing…

My step-mother’s cousin and her husband lost their son in a tragic car accident when he was 22 years old. He had everything going for him, and a very bright future ahead of him. He drove the wrong way on an on ramp and was killed instantly.

His mother has been able to come to terms with his death over the years (it’s been about 10 years now), but his father is in a horrible place and hates God something fierce over his son’s death. He was never able to grieve in a healthy way because he could never get past the hate. (this couple is not Catholic)

This man is now in the hospital with a very serious condition of the pancreas. We are hoping that, since he may have only a short time to live, that he comes to some sort of understanding with God.

I am so looking forward to your book - I hope it will help those like this man who don’t know how to grieve, how to not hold God responsible, and how to move on. He has spent the last 10 years as a bitter and sad individual - if you can prevent that from happening to one person your labors will all be worth it.

God bless you in this work of love!! 😃

~Liza
 
MGEISING said:
**Hi my friend - me too - too long. I have to admit I am really mad at God … I have even stopped going to church for a couple of months … although I am back … I am still not the same in my faith as I was … **

I feel lost … I feel so lost and am so mad at God for taking her … I hope I can recover …b ut I am not sure …

**thanks too for the continued prayers … **

I shall autograph my book for anyone who wants one - it will be on me - the book that is 🙂 Love you all!
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Dear Moe,
I am glad that you are back to church. I understand that you are mad at God, I don’t know if I would feel any different if I was in your place. I can only imagine what your devastation is like, and my heart breaks for you. Moe, please try to recover. I am praying for it. You are so loved & needed by your family & friends! As hard as this is for you, I know you know that God loves you, too. I pray that writing the book will help you to heal. I wish I could hug you in person, but since I can’t I’ll just send a few of these:console::hug1:.
Wishing You God’s Peace,
Lucania
 
May all of our prayers and Our Lord’s tender embrace continue to help you each day and guide you along. Your book has the power to help so many people - and will be an amazing blessing, probably more so than you could ever realize.
Prayers and peace to you and your family.
 
whatevergirl said:
Moe, I am glad to see you today. I think about you EVERY single day. I really do…you and your daughter, on my mind when I pray. I can’t offer you anything right now, except my prayers, and if you ever need to talk. God bless. :hug1:
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**Just stopping in today so say hi whatevergirl… I will take prayers anytime andy day - we survived another Holiday and another begining of school year - but just bareley …

Moments of peace do come more often … but unfortunately the go as fast as they come – u doing ok?

Hugs,**
 
Belle10 said:
:bighanky: My heart aches for you Moe. Praying. :hug1:
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**BELLE - thank you - prayers are the thing that is sustaining us. Greg, I and Amanda are moving as foward as we can - we aren’t moving on - how can we … but we are trying as best as we can to try and take one day at a time. Some days are better than others …

Love you and I hope your family is doing amazingly!**
 
allhers said:
What a blessing you and your family, most especially your KK have been to so many people. You are on so many people’s minds and hearts so much (mind included) and we all pray for you whenever and wherever you and your family come to mind.

Thank you - I still think of KK every minute of every day … this still feels like a nightmare and I am praying I soon wake up:(

I am sure your book will be exactly the way you and God want it to be. From what I’ve read about you on here, I am sure it will come straight from your heart. A heart that is filled with sorrow and love.

It is off to a slow start … it is just sooooo emotional you know … it takes a lot out of me. During Christmas break I will get a bunch done … I am off from work for a couple of weeks … so it will be good for me.

I was so sorry to read about your not being able to go to Mass for a time (so glad you’re back though), we have to praise Him even when it doesn’t seem like we ever can again. One thing that struck me about you and your KK, you sound so much like people who are so close to our good Lord that NOTHING could ever pull you away from Him, don’t let ANYTHING, not even this horrendous, sorrowful loss of your treasured child, not this, above all, ever pull you away from HIM!! Cling to HIM in all things, most especially in your sorrow, and ask His dear Blessed Mother, as I do for you, to comfort you and help you to get through the days where you feel like you can’t breath or think or move. (I am so sure that you probably already do that, that I feel like its not even necessary to remind you.)

Yes, being reminded is a good thing. I just didn’t have anything to give … and I questioned not only my belief - but that I taught this belief that I was questioning to hundred of kids and I was getting upset that I might have done a very bad thing. I spoke with a priest and he was wonderful … just loved him … I am back to church … at first just for Amanda … and my responsibility to her … but now I am back. Greg not so much … but … all in HIS time … I can’t fault him … he did take Amanda for me when I didn’t go … so I was blessed.

If there is one thing, if nothing else, that I am sure of, it is that He loves us all and knows what He is doing, even when we don’t have a clue, and when we can’t see the forrest for the trees. Let everything lead you to HIM, never, away from Him.

I try to do that … I do … I so want to feel relief … pain is 24/7 .

Prayers and blessings and everything that is good is wished for and prayed for, for you and yours. You and your family will never be forgotten. You have already made too much of an impression on others. Just reading about your KK on here has made me feel like my life has missed out on one of God’s greatest blessings for having never known her.

Yes, she was extra-ordinary … extra-ordinary and I am not just saying that because I am her mom … everyone thought it and voiced it … my joy - both girls are my joy

I am sure your book will be sucessful and help many breaking hearts…and someday, I too hope to see your KK in eternal happiness! (Her mother has made me want to know such a wonderful little Saint.)

**That makes me smile - she is a saint … oh how happy she must be … I have a quote I love …

"They say that time in heaven is compared to ‘the blink of an eye’ for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely …caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I’ll already be there." ~Author Unknown**

God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you!
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And may he continue to hold us in the palm of His hand … hugs my friend -thank you for reaching out … thank you!
 
lizaanne said:
This is so exciting!!! I’m so happy for you! This is why this will be a wonderful thing…

I hope so lizaanne … I hope so …

My step-mother’s cousin and her husband lost their son in a tragic car accident when he was 22 years old. He had everything going for him, and a very bright future ahead of him. He drove the wrong way on an on ramp and was killed instantly.

How horribly tragic … that is so horrible … Oh my word … hugging them 😦

His mother has been able to come to terms with his death over the years (it’s been about 10 years now), but his father is in a horrible place and hates God something fierce over his son’s death. He was never able to grieve in a healthy way because he could never get past the hate. (this couple is not Catholic)

PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER IS all I can say … I am angry as well … but I don’t hate God … not one bit … my husband Greg is very angry … but he hasn’t let it harden his heart … it did for awhile and it was rough going for us … but thankfully his heart is softer and kinder now .

This man is now in the hospital with a very serious condition of the pancreas. We are hoping that, since he may have only a short time to live, that he comes to some sort of understanding with God.

How is he doing now? I am sure a part of him doesn’t mind that he might have only a short time to live … for he will be with his son.

I am so looking forward to your book - I hope it will help those like this man who don’t know how to grieve, how to not hold God responsible, and how to move on. He has spent the last 10 years as a bitter and sad individual - if you can prevent that from happening to one person your labors will all be worth it.

Men grieve so totally differently … men need to ask for help - they can’t do it alone. My husband’s work keeps him grounded … and he grieves when the pressure builds up - goes to visit KK and cried (alone) … but once he does … he is good to go for a bit … so totally different from my experience.

God bless you in this work of love!! 😃

Blessings to you as well Liza … thank you … Hugs,

~Liza
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Lucania said:
Dear Moe,
I am glad that you are back to church. I understand that you are mad at God, I don’t know if I would feel any different if I was in your place. I can only imagine what your devastation is like, and my heart breaks for you. Moe, please try to recover. I am praying for it. You are so loved & needed by your family & friends! As hard as this is for you, I know you know that God loves you, too. I pray that writing the book will help you to heal. I wish I could hug you in person, but since I can’t I’ll just send a few of these:console::hug1:.
Wishing You God’s Peace,
Lucania
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👋**PRAYERS ARE DEFINATELY WHAT SUSTAIN ME … SUSTAIN US …

I AM ONE HALLOWEEN CLOSER TO KK … I WANT TO LIVE NOW … ALTHOUGH LIVING IS SO HARD … I DO WANT TO LIVE … BUT WITH EACH NEW DAY - IT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO KK … SO I BETTER BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR IF I WANT TO HUG HER AGAIN!

LOVE AND HUGS!!!**
 
bmaj said:
May all of our prayers and Our Lord’s tender embrace continue to help you each day and guide you along. Your book has the power to help so many people - and will be an amazing blessing, probably more so than you could ever realize.
Prayers and peace to you and your family.
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**Thank you bmaj … Ever since the first day I lost her … i asked God - what is it you want me to do with this unimaginable pain … not sure if this is it … but I still ask him.

It is sooo very hard … so very hard. **
 
*Hi Moe;

Things are pretty good, might be moving back to Pittsburgh next summer. We moved from there a few years ago. I have to say, life’s been confusing on that front, lately. 🤷 Just miss things about ‘back home,’ and while things have not been BAD here in Florida, it just isn’t ‘home,’ if that makes sense. Perhaps it is me…and that is why God moved us here, so I can learn the lesson that it isn’t where you live, but how you live, that matters. I want a crystal ball for Christmas. 🙂

I am excited about your book…I think that it will most certainly help people who have suffered similiar losses as you. You are a very strong lady, I admire you so much. Please let us know how your book progresses. God bless, and I’m always happy to see that you’ve posted something in here. :hug1:*
 
whatevergirl said:
*Hi Moe;

Things are pretty good, might be moving back to Pittsburgh next summer. We moved from there a few years ago. I have to say, life’s been confusing on that front, lately. 🤷 Just miss things about ‘back home,’ and while things have not been BAD here in Florida, it just isn’t ‘home,’ if that makes sense. Perhaps it is me…and that is why God moved us here, so I can learn the lesson that it isn’t where you live, but how you live, that matters. I want a crystal ball for Christmas. 🙂

**he he he - would love a crystal ball … but unfortunately we can’t have one 😦 ***

I am excited about your book…I think that it will most certainly help people who have suffered similiar losses as you. You are a very strong lady, I admire you so much. Please let us know how your book progresses. God bless, and I’m always happy to see that you’ve posted something in here.

**It takes a lot out of me. I plan on getting a lot done during my Christmas break. I am struggling with the holidays – missing her terribly … can’t believe ti will be our third CHRISTmas without her … just unimaginable still. The pain is monsterous.

Hugs my friend … trusting you and all my friends at CA will keep us close in prayer as we face yet another wave of great grief. KK would have been 16 on Dec 20 … it is too much for me to comprehend 😦 … xoxoxoxo**

:hug1:
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masondoggy said:
Sending you a great big cyberhug :hug1: I haven’t been around here much lately, but you are always on my mind and in my prayers!
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**thank you so much my friend.

Glad the holidays are behind us. KK’s Birthday was Dec 20 and it was a HUGE heart-ache - she would have been 16. It is tough …

Fill me in on things going on with you - are you well?

Love and hugs,

**
 
****I can’t believe that it has been almost 6 months or more since I have written.

Things are still dire - but we do have more and more peace in our days - THANKS BE TO GOD … and as Greg says - the pain is still as great - we just carry it differently.

Hoping for prayers STILL … let me know what is going on with my CA Family …

Oh - here is a Personal Narrative from Amanda (THANKS BE TO GOD SHE HAVE MOVED FORWARD BIG TIME - I WONDER IF I SHALL EVER BE THIS FREE … I DO NOT THINK SO – ENJOY - TISSUES NEEDED:

NovocainShare
Friday, June 11, 2010 at 7:46pm
Awake. Birds. Crickets. Wind in the trees. I finally hear these things.
For two years I was asleep. Asleep, like the long shadows outside my cloudy house, where the sounds of laughter fell silent against the drenched walls. My senses were frozen: no taste, smell, feeling, or noise could penetrate the safe, bulletproof wall I built around myself. My life had become a perpetual winter. Numbness was all I felt. Smells, like flowers blooming in the spring, freshly-cut grass in the summer, apple pie cooking in the oven in the fall, and the smell of the newly decorated Christmas tree in the winter, were lost. I would stare out the bleeding windows, into a grey sunlight. Every day was the same as the day before. I was on a train speeding blankly through a storm; everything outside the windows was a dark blur. I kept my head low, and dove forward into daily life, never really understanding what was going on around me.
The storm lasted two years, and finally the sun breached the clouds. I no longer saw the flashing lights. I no longer heard the piercing sound of the heart monitor as her heart fell silent. I no longer felt the coldness of her skin and the rough hospital sheet. Instead, I began to see her smile. I saw the way her eyes would glow and widen when she smiled or laughed. I saw the look she made every time I hugged her spontaneously; rolling her eyes in a look of annoyance, but a smile appearing, erasing any of her unconvincing pretenses. I saw my sister. For the first time, I heard myself laugh. The curtains opened and allowed light and color to fill my life.
It took two years to realize that after every freeze there is a thaw, after every winter there is a spring, after every ending there is a beginning. I found the glue to piece my life back together. I realized that even though the puzzle that connected my sister and me together was broken, it could still work. A piece would always be missing, but the other half was capable of functioning and having fun. The grey shadows disappeared, and sunlight took its place. The occasional shadow would emerge, but I found ways to fight the shadows off and stay happy by keeping the warmth and light of the sun visible and strong. The numbness, like Novocain, wore off and I was able to realize that even though this huge part of my life was missing, everything would be ok, and things would get better. I found hope and strength.
My sister’s death has been painful, but also encouraging. I have transformed into a person I am proud of. I have found who I am, and much of this has to do with the growth I experienced after her death. I have developed a sense of self and confidence, none of which I had before my sister died. This change and self-realization though, wasn’t something that happened in a day. Slowly, I began to wake up. It could have been a number of events that spurred this change; whether it was excelling in school, getting my first horse, or celebrating traditions we had halted after her death, I realized things will get better, and everything will work out. I can’t put a finger on what was the actual cause of this transformation. It happened gradually. I began to realize that there were plenty of things to look forward to, and it was possible to be happy and keep her in my heart. I also realized that even though she died, I still had an entire life to live. I decided to live this life for her. For the both of us. I will never have late night conversations under the covers with my sister, or sing incredibly ridiculous songs at the top of our lungs, but it will be these memories that carry me through life. No matter what happens in life, things will always get better, they may never be the same, but it will get better)****
 
Wow just Wow, what an awesome person Amanda is you both should be so proud of her.
 
Nordar said:
Wow just Wow, what an awesome person Amanda is you both should be so proud of her.
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**So very proud of her Norda … so very proud. She has been able to master straight A;s all through HS … it is almost as if KK has come into her mind and body – KK was an amazing student … Amanda has taken this to heart and has thrown herself into school. She will be a Sr in the fall. We just came back from a Western Vacation looking at schools for her to enroll in a Equine Vet program. Oklahoma State University, Colorado State University and University of Wyoming … so far … OS U is in the lead - but we have a few more to visit.

Hugs … tell me what you have been up too …

One breath at a time my friend, one breath at a time!

**
 
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