Sudden Death of our 13 Year Old Daughter

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Here are pictures of our saint McKayla!

Thanks for the help Kym - I hope I did this right!

McKayla’s school picture:
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

McKayla’s remembrance card:
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
She looks so full of life and so healthy.

I have not gotten a chance to read the other posts, but may I ask what happened?
 
argon091076 said:
She looks so full of life and so healthy.

I have not gotten a chance to read the other posts, but may I ask what happened?
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We do not know yet … she had an autopsy … and it seems one of two things or both … an abnormality in her aorta and an abnomality in her blood vessels in her lungs … the corener said he has seen on or the other - but not both …

We need to wait another two weeks before we get the final results from the Medical Examiner … in any even … it looks like something she was born with …

She has been always healthy — never sick a day in her life … so this has been horrific for us!
 
Thank you for giving us an image of your daughter to pray with. She was beautiful! May she intercede, among the angels and saints, for you, your husband and daughter.
:hug1:
 
The night time is our darkest … we miss her terribly … God I just want to hold her one more time … please pray for us!!!
 
I am praying for you and your family. Looking at your beautiful daughter just makes my heart heavy. She was so young, it’s so unfair.I lost my sister when I was thirteen, she was 21 and even though we far apart in age we were pretty close. I would recommend with in the next few weeks looking into counseling for your family. For all of you and especially for you daughter Amanda. She is so close in age to McKayla I can’t even imagine how devastating and frightening this is for her. Young people grieve differently than adults. I developed panic attacks which I hid from my parents.
As a mom of an 11 year old daughter I can’t begin to fathom your pain. It’s so unthinkable that we would outlive our children. Even though she is a saint in heaven and in the arms of Jesus I know your heart is breaking. Please know my heart and prayers are with you.:gopray:

downstrike.com/JesusLaughing/JesusHuggingGirl.jpg
http://www.keatonprints.com/
 
God, please give this family the strength to get through the coming days, months, years, without their lovely McKayla to talk with and hug. She is certainly a sweet angel in her school photo, but she’s a saint in Your Home now. Grant them the peace of knowing that You are caring for her and that she is praying for her family in a powerful way now. Thank you, God, for allowing McKayla to touch so many lives. She was a gift from You.

My son lost a close friend last August to leukemia. Andy was 16. It has been very difficult for his family and friends, but with time, the blessing of having Andy in our lives is becoming more clear. The death of young people especially is impossible for us to rationalize, but thank God for your faith! McKayla must be so happy where she is now. I’m very sorry for your loss of such a lovely young lady. You will be in my prayers daily. God’s peace be with you.
 
In addition to the emails I posted earlier, here is a link that may be helpful. Of course, a search can give you many more. This one mentions SIDS at one point, but in no way invalidates the rest of the info. athealth.com/consumer/disorders/parentalgrief.html

Over time, you will find that people avoid the “topic” of your daughter and her death. They either find it uncomforable personally, or assume you do. You may want to assure those close to you that you will always have some degree of sadness in your soul, but talking about her or even mentioning her name to you is healing rather than hurting. Far more hurtful is the avoidance of her as if she didn’t ever exist. Tell them it is a blessing to hear how she brightened their lives or just to share little memories and stories of her. Your friends will need this “permission” to talk about her, especially later on (months or past a year). And it will bring you joy to know they think of her as well. I share this because it has been our experience.

Finally, I found it helpful to make a memorial website for my Gabriel. We had family at the other end of the country and all over in between. This was the easiest way to share his photos and videos. You can make your own or use sites like www.tributeforyou.com. I use that one and the owner features Gabriel on the home page. It was a project I worked on that both saddened and uplifted me. If you do one, please share it with your Catholic Answers family.

God bless you richly in your grief. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted!
 
Here is a good link on grief in sudden death situations. To help you also help your daughter, look not only at the “relatives” links, but also the “professionals” links. royalhospitals.org/traumaticgrief/downloads.php

I do recommend “Travel Guide to Heaven”. It is a book by a Catholic. It is “theological speculation” about the nature of heaven. It is a quick, easy read and I would even recommend it for your daughter.
 
Your daughter is beautiful. I am praying for you all…do not despair. Our Lord is with you even in the darkness. Know that the saints and angels in Heaven pray for you as well.
 
MGEISING said:
The night time is our darkest … we miss her terribly … God I just want to hold her one more time … please pray for us!!!
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I would believe that she knows that… and perhaps that is when she is closest to you. Beautiful in life… radient in Heaven.
 
I have posted before, but am at a loss for words again. She was astoundingly beautiful and such a sweet and innocent face. I pray for her and for all of you during this time…

Vester
 
No words of mine can express my heartfelt sorrow, and the pain your going through I can’t imagine.

May God give you and your family the strength to carry this great burden, even though I’m far away I feel you pain.

May God grant that your little- one be as close to you now as she is with God in Heaven, and may she console you until you meet again in Heaven.
 
More tears & prayers for your truly beautiful daughter. It pains me to tell you that she died on my daughter’s birthday. That is why I know that March 19th is the feast day of St. Joseph, you probably already know that. I have prayed to St. Joseph, & asked him to greet your daughter in Heaven with a hug. I will ask for his special prayers for your family & your daughter’s friends.
 
I pray for you and your family for the loss of your daughter. Almost 10 years ago today, I lost a good friend to a fire as well. I still visit her every now and then.
 
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