Moe: How are you doing? I am praying for you as always. Just thought about you this afternoon when I was on Birth Club board and one of the ladies posted about a friend’s child drowning
Oh - I am so sorry … such a senseless death … oh the poor family - they are where we were 21 weeks ago - may God and his Angels surround them and uphold them every minute of every day …
and I immediatley thought of your pain.
We know it all too well unfortunately - it is a ‘club’ no one is knocking down the doors to be in!
I am here for you always.
You have been since day one and may God bless you for showing your love and reaching out!
If you want my email address, just let me know and I will PM it to you.
**I PM’d you first
Love you, Moe**
Hugs, Lori
I am praying for you and your headaches … please be safe and my God comfort your head in his hands …Dear Moe,
Haven’t been here in a few days. Computer got a virus. Anyway,
still praying for you Moe and your family. Headache’s still bad. I’m offering it up though.
God bless,
mom4truth
THANK YOU … SO VERY MUCH … IT IS SO HARD, ESPECIALLY ON MONDAYS
21 WEEKS TODAYHi Moe,
We are back from vacation now. I have caught up on the postings. You have so many wonderful prayer warriors who are lifting you up.
HI - I HAVE MISSED YOU - WILL YOU EMAIL ME WHEN YOU CAN AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR VACATION. WE AREN’T DOING ONE THIS YEAR … AT LEAST NOT RIGHT NOW … IT IS TOO DIFFICULT… AMANDA AND HER DAD ARE HEADING ON A CAMPING TRIP NEXT WEEK FOR TWO NIGHTS … BUT IT IS THE TYPE YOU KYACK AND YOU SLEEP OUT IN THE WOODS WITHOUT ANY FACILITIES … NOTHING I AM INTERESTED AT ALL
I know you feel like you will never feel okay again, but you will! I reread a post from a mother whose little boy drowned more than nine years ago. I can’t remember her name–but she said the same thing–she still loves him and still has the hurt–but it is more hidden away now, easier to live with.
**I HOPE SO … I REALLY HOPE SO … THAT IS WHAT WONDERFUL PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE TOLD ME … AND WHAT I HAVE BEEN READING … **
Please trust that God won’t allow you to hurt like this forever! I will continue to pray that He will begin to soften the pain. It doesn’t mean that you love her less, but you don’t need to be in agony for the rest of your life.
I KNOW - THE PAIN IS LIKE IT A CONNECTION TO HER … AND IF I DON’T HAVE THAT PAIN ANYMORE … WILL I BE CONNECTED … BUT RIGHT NOW I AM JUST TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE DAY … NEVER MIND TOMORROW … YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I love that you had a dream. Isn’t it neat to be able to “see” her again? I know we want it to be real and to last–but I still love to dream about Patrick–whatever age he is. It’s almost like having home movies.
**YES, I FINALLY DID … ALTHOUGH IT WASN’T WHAT I HOPED … BUT THERE IS ALWAYS TONIGHT! **
My granddaughter starts her junior year on Thursday. She said she can’t wait because it’s a fresh start–a clean slate. I hope that Amanda feels that way as she starts high school. It’s good for her to have something to be excited about.
**WELL, AMANDA STARTS HER FRESHMEN YEAR … AND IT IS IN A DIFFERENT SCHOOL THAN WHERE KK WENT … SO HER (KK’S) ‘GHOSTS’ WON’T BE SO CONSUMING TO HER … SHE ISN’T LOOKING FORWARD TO IT THOUGH **
Love to you all,
**YOUR THE BEST ALISON … THANKS SO MUCH AND I PRAY YOU HAD A RESTFUL VACATION - CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
LOVING YOU FROM NH,
MOE
**
Alison
Hi there,
Hi VESTER:
I have posted before, and then lurked since then. I wanted to let you know that I have a 1 year old little girl. Your story breaks my heart every time I think of it and I have prayed for you.
**Thank you so much …. prayers are what help us get out of bed in the morning … life is so very sad
I dont know any answers or have anything that I think will make you feel better so I dont usually post. But I was compelled to today for some reason.
Anytime anyone posts I have a little ray of hope … I have met some unbelievable friends from this post and I thank God … friends from all over the world.
Maybe its just because there are probably more people like me reading your story and praying for you than you even know. I know that I have prayed for peace for your daughter and for your family. I do not know if any of those prayers are answered,
I am proof of it … I am still here typing.
and I know that my pain would never subside if this happened to me, and I simply believe I would go insane.
There are days that I do feel like I am going insane and perhaps can’t make it. But then I think of my Amanda … and if it weren’t for her … I would have been buried with McKayla … I truly believe that with all my heart.
I think that you are going through the nightmare that all of us inside fear in our worst moment. And yet, you are still here, still writing, still forging ahead. With all the pain and the anguish, you are still here, you are still a believer in God. And that in and of itself is a testament beyond any that we could ever possibly hope to give.
I am no hero … all I know is if I think of anything else other than trying to more forward for my Amanda … I perhaps might not ever see my beautiful girl again. I ache for her … I cry for her all the time … I can be in a meeting in a wave of grief just consumes me … like it did last week … and all of a sudden I felt a hand over mine – my friend was consoling me … he saw my expression … I was thankful only he saw it though … but I cry all the time … sometimes you can’t control it. It is so very sad … it is like our girl disappeared from the face of the earth.
I dont know whether or not any of my words will touch you. I dont know what to say. The pain that I feel for you is so piercing, so please know that there are many of us with you in spirit, and doing whatever we can through prayer to plead that God gives you his Peace. Your daughter is beautiful, and I believe in my very soul and on my life that you will see her again.
**I am so blessed to have my CAF friends praying for me … self-less … when they can be praying for so many other unfortunate souls.
Thank you for posting … I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see people just reaching out … it is my therapy. And I have met wonderful people – and they know who they are … that perhaps have helped me and SAVED MY LIFE. Because days are so hard and I can only go by the hour …
Thanks, and God’s peace and Grace to your family.
Love MOe**
Vester
Praying for you still.
**Monicad - prayers are what sustain us … I THANK YOU WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART **
I have to say that you are a very encouraging person to me. When I come to this website I still see that your thread about losing your daughter is still active, and you still post.
It Amazes me as well … I would have figured they would have closed me down by now … the grieving mom … but I can’t tell you how happy I am when I see people reaching out to us … I can’t tell you how many people have personally contacted me … and changed my life …GOD IS GOOD even during this nightmare … but I would ralther have her here in my arms
I read what you have to say and it strengthens my faith. I thought you might just quit posting one day and disappear.
I just ASSumed they would close my post … I am forever grateful that they didn’t … it is great therapy for me to talk … it really is … I can’t even put it in word
Certainly what you have been through and that you still have your faith and pray and even console others here is proof that there is a God and he is full of love and mercy.
I shudder to think … what we would be like without faith. We trust in our Father … WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY … AND WE AREN’T HAPPY …but we have to trust … we just have to … because without that …where would we be???
I know you have pain in every breath, in all your body and in your heart and soul.
Every breath I take, and I know it seems theatrical … but every breath I miss her with every being in my body … I truly do … especially since she was Mini Moe … if you know what I mean … but more amazing that I could ever be … perhaps that is why our Lord took her
Thank you for having the courage to share all of that with us here.
**
It isn’t courage … it is desperation … hearing from all my friends at CAF is such an amazing feeling … I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE … without them … I am NO HERO … I am a mom who is grieving the loss of her presious daughter …**
I just know your daughter is in heaven, and through you and your love for one another, she is drawing people to heaven. Please take care as best you can.
I pray that is so … because no other reason could I live with for her loss … she was perfection … and many, many peope (over 1100 at her wake and over 350 at her funeral … told me she had changed their life … I only ask that God is among all that has happened since her death. Thank you for reaching out and caring … God Bless you and your family and PLEASE keep us close in prayer
**U know what I need … and I thank God that I have such a wonderful Prayer Warrior and I shall pray for you as well!!
**If I did not have my faith … I shudder to think where I would be … Thank you with every beat of my heart for reaching out … you have made my dayHi Moe,
Thread has been busy so great to see so many people posting to you.
God’s hand is written in this CAF post … I DO NOT KNOW where I woudl be without the love and prayers that have been happening in 22 weeks
It has been so hot here, and I was so sick for a week,summer cold. They are the worst, still coughing but feel much better.
Thanks be to God … summer’s cold are the most worst … I am surprised I haven’t gotten on … with all the stress . how sweet of you to reach out to me, even in yoru sickness!!!
Anyhow I hear you that it is still so very hard for you, I do beilieve you that if it were not for Amanda you would probably just have curled up in a ball and died.
*She is the only thing I focus on and the reason I continue to go on … not to say I do not love Greg … but a parent’s love for their children can’t possibly be measured~~~~*
I know you don’t see it or believe it, but I think you are incedibly brave just coming on here and sharing your pain.
**I am not brave … .it is what SUSTAINS ME … truly … **Letting your Faith continue to show is truly wonderful. Prayers~
YOU ARE MY PRAYER WARRIOR HERO … HOW ARE YOU HEADACHE …
THANK YOU — WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART … EVEN THOUGHT IT HAS BEEN OVER 20 WEEKS … THE PAIN IS STILL UNBELIEVABLE … GOD’S PEACE …
O Mother of God, in giving birth you still preserved virginity and in falling-asleep You did not forsake the world. You are the Mother of Life and have been transferred to life, and through your prayers have delivered our souls from death. *(Troparion for August ** 15)*