Hi all,
I am stressing out about some relatives that are coming to visit us for about 4 days over Easter weekend. They are anti-Catholic, super in favor of SSM, one relative harangued my husband about how awful Arizona is, and how bigoted and backwards Arizona’s attempted legislation is, etc.
They have given books to my kids that I consider to be unacceptable, and they are very permissive about what the media they allow their daughters to watch / listen to (Sex and the city movie, etc for 10 and 13 year olds). They have tried to pressure us to send our older daughter to go spend 3 weeks with them over the summer for a specialized academic camp.
They mainly come to visit us so that the cousins can spend time together, and know each other. I agree that’s a worthwhile goal. They come visit us at Easter because they get Good Friday and Easter Monday off, so it’s easy for them to visit, without having to take extra vacation days.
Help - it also makes it awkward for us to go to Good Friday liturgy, etc. because the relatives just think it’s another day off. We have taken the kids to Easter morning Mass is the past, just to hear the mom lecture her daughters about how awful the Catholic Church is (in another room). I’m just dreading this - - any advice?
It’s your house, right? So. . .before they come, I’d have a talk with them. "We love to have the cousins get together. I think it’s important that they get to know each other and to accept each other’s differences as well as similarities respectfully. Now, you and I have some very different ideas about how we want to raise our children, and while we don’t always agree with each other about certain issues, we want to make sure that we don’t hit ‘hot button topics’ or that we THINK we’re being ‘fine’ with something because we aren’t actively saying "Gee, your ideas really stink’ but we say something ‘humorous’ like, "Hey, your girls are refugees from "little house on the prairie, they should join the 21st century.’. . .
SO. …because we want this to be the best visit for everybody, I want to be upfront. I don’t expect you to ‘join in’ with something we do if it’s not ‘your thing’, but in
ourhouse, Lent, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter are a big deal. We like going to Mass, even if we ‘don’t have to’ on Good Friday. We’re Catholic and we make no apologies. We believe in the teachings. You obviously ‘don’t have to believe’ but remember, 'if you can’t say something NICE about someone/something,
don’t say anything at all.**** If you think our Church is stupid and our teachings repulsive, you’re entitled to THINK it, but this is our home and our faith and you are NOT entitled to ‘share’ your OPINION with us. We won’t shove our faith down your throat, you don’t shove your ‘disagreement’ down ours.
Now, if you really absolutely cannot grace us with your presence without letting us know how terrible our Church is and how stupid we are to believe, then do us all a favor and stay home. Let the cousins Skype, let them write letters, let them text each other for hours, and hopefully when they are old enough to visit each other without the ‘parents’, they’ll be mature enough and courteous enough to accept each other. Certainly they’ll stand a better chance if they aren’t witnessing their so-called ‘elders’ acting like rude entitlement kings and queens demanding that their every word be treated like diamonds while they spew venom.
There, aren’t you glad we’re getting this out of the way so that we’ll all feel better??"
Rob
