Surrendered Wife, anyone?

[Liberanosamalo]

Having been married to the biggest baby in the world, I have a piece of advice for Surrendered Women. Never promise to obey someone stupider than you.

I’m with KCtheMommy. (I think that’s her name.) I think a lot of women are really good at managing the details of the home. That requires leadership. And to stand back and let someone else take charge of what essentially is “my office” is absurd. You don’t go into your husband’s place of work and tell him how to do his job, do you?

I think if you want to read how marriage and family TRULY are meant to be, read JPII’s “Familiaris Consortio.” It shows true respect for the talents and abilities and roles of everyone in a family.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Having been married to the biggest baby in the world, I have a piece of advice for Surrendered Women. Never promise to obey someone stupider than you.

I’m with KCtheMommy. (I think that’s her name.) I think a lot of women are really good at managing the details of the home. That requires leadership. And to stand back and let someone else take charge of what essentially is “my office” is absurd. You don’t go into your husband’s place of work and tell him how to do his job, do you?

I think if you want to read how marriage and family TRULY are meant to be, read JPII’s “Familiaris Consortio.” It shows true respect for the talents and abilities and roles of everyone in a family.

Well thanks and God Bless

…and on that note, when my husband stands NEXT TO the hamper and drops his dirty clothes on the floor, I also remind him that I don’t go to his work and throw my trash or dirty laundry on HIS floor! LOL Well I did, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t drop his clothes on the floor, or not put his clean folded clothes away like he should, it just means the subject is dead. However, the day has not come where he has told me how to do our taxes.

Reality check, really. Yes YES to JPII’s books, all of them. I will read “Family Consortio” now. Thanks for a book recommendation that actually will add to our marriage, not take anything away…

and yes, KCtheMommy is my name.

It does seem there has been a bit of snips at me for not “submitting.” Or am I imagining it?

 

[deb1]

Having been married to the biggest baby in the world, I have a piece of advice for Surrendered Women. Never promise to obey someone stupider than you.

well, don’t marry any one that you consider stupid. that seems like a good place to start.

I’m with KCtheMommy. (I think that’s her name.) I think a lot of women are really good at managing the details of the home. That requires leadership. And to stand back and let someone else take charge of what essentially is “my office” is absurd. You don’t go into your husband’s place of work and tell him how to do his job, do you?

my husband is smart enough to let me deide how to run the home. in return he comes home to a moderately clean house-not perfect, i admit-, a hot dinner and a happy family. if he tried to run our home, it would be a mess. good man that he is, he readily admits that he would have trouble organizing everything.

i once knew a woman who had nine children. she was very sweet but a fundamentalists. one day she told me that she had to return home and mop her floor before her hubby returned from work. according to her, he had basically ordered her to mop the kitchen floor. being somewhat outraged that he would tell a homeschooling mom of nine kids how to run her home, i suggested that she hand him the mop and tell him to clean the floor himself. she looked at me like i had suddenly grown horns so i dropped the subject.

 

[twosweetgirls]

**note to self: get JPII’s writings on the subject!

This in an interesting thread. Yes, my husband is now head of the household, and that’s what I’ve wanted for the last ten years. Praise God it finally happened! I think two things were integral for this change in him: us having another child, and me becoming Catholic.

I was just telling this to a friend the other day, that I was so happy and content with where God had me now (husband as breadwinner/head, me as the at-home Mommy) and remarked that it only took ten years. And I’ve said those exact same words to my husband too, and he gets all embarassed and has to change the subject.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Hey, in my own defense, I didn’t THINK he was stupid before I promised to obey him.

 

[deb1]

Hey, in my own defense, I didn’t THINK he was stupid before I promised to obey him.

my hubby always tells me that he couldn’t be too dumb because he married me.

 

[DiannaK]

You’re not wrong - We are equally important, have to respect each other, etc. It’s just that as men and women, we are called to different roles within marriage. St. Paul describes these roles in the New Testament: Husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the Church, and wives must submit to their husbands. Now, “submit” here is not the evil word a lot of people believe it to be. **To submit to your husband is to trust that God has given him the grace to be the head of the household, but you only have to submit if your husband loves you as Christ loves the Church. And if your hubby loves you like this, there’s really no problem submitting, since he’s not being a tyrant. At least, that’s my understanding, anyway.
**
Is this what the book is about, Dianna?

Boy … I go off to work, and I have 2 pages worth of posts to go thru!

This is EXACTLY how I took it …

It talks about giving things up to your husband, and allowing him to do things for you … take care of the house, the bills, etc.
As an independant woman, some of these things are difficult for me – I want things my way or the highway sometimes. Is that attractive as a wife? Nope …

It talks about the counterproductiveness of nagging … and how to get your point across as a wife, without nagging your husband. Common sense to some … but this is my second marriage. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve often been short with my husband, because he doesn’t do things the way that I would.
By holding my tongue, and NOT insisting that I be in control all the time, there have been some unexpected pleasant outcomes.

“Submit” has a very negative tone … but this book doesn’t advocate being a doormat.

 

[DiannaK]

Isn’t this a hardcore fundamentalist book? I’d be very very wary of anything from that point of view. They are usually very anti-Catholic in all their teachings. I’d stick to the writings of JPII, as already mentioned.

haven’t seen anything Anti-Catholic in it …

 

[Black_Jaque]

Just make darn sure that any potential husband is submissive to God and the Church and you’ll have no problem submitting to him.

Someone once pointed out how when parents began disobeying the Church with respect to contraception, there seems to be an increase in child discipline problems. Could it be that when parents do not model obedience to a higher authority their own children will defy parental authority?

To break it down further. Could it be that a wife who submits to her husband who submits to the Church will wield greater authority with her own children?

I watched one young couple struggling with their toddler going into the street. Wife would yell at Daddy for letting Jr. run into the street. Then Wife called Daddy a brute for spanking Jr. when he went into the street. (And my first thought when witnessing Daddy’s spank was that it was waaay to whimpy). A classic case of wanting something done for her, AND wanting it done her way.

 

[BlestOne]

Just make darn sure that any potential husband is submissive to God and the Church and you’ll have no problem submitting to him.

Someone once pointed out how when parents began disobeying the Church with respect to contraception, there seems to be an increase in child discipline problems. Could it be that when parents do not model obedience to a higher authority their own children will defy parental authority?

To break it down further. Could it be that a wife who submits to her husband who submits to the Church will wield greater authority with her own children?

I watched one young couple struggling with their toddler going into the street. Wife would yell at Daddy for letting Jr. run into the street. Then Wife called Daddy a brute for spanking Jr. when he went into the street. (And my first thought when witnessing Daddy’s spank was that it was waaay to whimpy). A classic case of wanting something done for her, AND wanting it done her way.

Amen!!! I truly think you are absolutely right here. Most of the people I have seen who have severe problems with their kids seem to be lacking this format in their lives.

When I first got married to dh, it was an adjustment after being a single mom for 8 yrs… everything had to be my way. One of the nicest things I have discovered is that dh handles things different but still in a Godly way… nice change for me! I am not nearly as stressed out as I used to be.

 

[leonie]

My dh makes most of the major decisions in our house (after we have discussed it together). Sometimes, he makes the wrong decision, but I hope he knows that even when he makes a mistake, I trust and believe in him.

The only place where I sometimes put my foot down is some areas of faith formation for our kids. As the only Catholic parent, I feel the heavy weight of responsibility in this area.

 

[marybee]

It sounds like the book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” By DR. LAura! That was a darn good book. I’ve tried the best I can to apply her concepts.

 

[tjm8]

Hey ladies!
Have any of you gals read The Surrendered Wife, or put any of its principals into practice??

The “gist” of the book is restoring men to the true head of household … as God designed.

I tend to be very independant, and hard headed, and some of the concepts are a bit difficult for me. I wanted to chat with others that had read the book.

Thanks!
Dianna

I haven’t read the buck and I’m not female but if my mother had read the book and let my father run the family affairs it would have been a disaster. Couples need to go with each ones strengths and weaknesses. The idea that the man is always right or somehow mentally superior is just lunacy.

 

[TheGoodLife]

It sounds like the book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” By DR. LAura! That was a darn good book. I’ve tried the best I can to apply her concepts.

I recommend this book as well. Dr. Laura gives good advice in the book. A lot of it is common-sense kind of things that we tend to forget as the married years go by.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Just make darn sure that any potential husband is submissive to God and the Church and you’ll have no problem submitting to him.

You are absolutely right in this regard! And that was my mistake. I gave him too much benefit of the doubt in that respect.

 

[KCtheMommy]

It sounds like the book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” By DR. LAura! That was a darn good book. I’ve tried the best I can to apply her concepts.

I LOVED this book too. We are reading “The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage” together. It’s been awesome sharing that!

 

[JudiTherese]

Wait, so it’s ok to read a book by Dr. Laura, but not a Christian author? I am sorry but something about this thread doesn’t set well with me. I ready many, many Bible Studies, Personal and Christian Growth books and they are not all written by Catholic authors NOR do they EVER say anything negative about the Catholic faith. It is never an issue. All of the components for growth are based on scripture. Ya’ll need to quit being so afraid of people who are not Catholic.

 

[TheGoodLife]

nevermind

 

[TheGoodLife]

Wait, so it’s ok to read a book by Dr. Laura, but not a Christian author? I am sorry but something about this thread doesn’t set well with me. I ready many, many Bible Studies, Personal and Christian Growth books and they are not all written by Catholic authors NOR do they EVER say anything negative about the Catholic faith. It is never an issue. All of the components for growth are based on scripture. Ya’ll need to quit being so afraid of people who are not Catholic.

I re-read your post and I’m not understanding it. Your first sentence seems to contridict your last one (at least to me). I’m pretty sure Dr. Laura is Jewish.

 

[JudiTherese]

Ok. Maybe it should read: “Quit being afraid of people who are Protestant”. Dr. Laura is ok. Billy Graham is not. Dr. Laura’s book is great. Beth Moore’s is not. Based on what I am reading above, we should not read Christian authors who are not Catholic. Unless you are Jewish and then that’s ok.