Surrendered Wife, anyone?

[deb1]

Wow…if I am property I am worth a whole lot! I never considered myself property and I don’t think my husband does, but I’ll ask him.
We had many fights and arguments and disagreements until I finally “surrendered” myself. I was trying to be the dominant one who made all the important decisions. At a marriage course, I realized my husband lacked a wife who respected and admired him for who he was. So I changed my ways and feel much happier. Personally, I enjoy the peace and quiet that comes from very little friction. I can voice my opinion whenever I want, but I do it in a charitable tone. I for one enjoy a peaceful, loving, respectful marriage with few or no quarrels.

i have to admit the term ‘surrendered wife’ brings up images in my mind of the wife being captured by the husband in the midst of war.

but i understand what you are saying about the nagging. i think that a lot of women don’t understand how counterproductive nagging is in a relationship.

many females have an emotional need to talk and talk about a problem. yet, this often has the opposite effect, not just on husbands but on children to.

over the years, i’ve learned to let go and not demand everything be done my way.

 

[JudiTherese]

You just compared a successful happy marriage to Hitler’s Germany??? .

I agree with different perspectives and respecting each other. I do have to say, I am part of an Accountability Group that meets each week. We are made up of 2 Catholics, 1 Lutheran and 2 Deciples of Christ women. We love each other, hold each other’s feet to the fire when we need to, respect each other, and worship the Lord. That is the sole focus of the group. My protestant sisters have taught me a lot about loving God, being a good wife and mother.

Ok, I am done with this topic. There are too many judgemental and angry women who do not understand the needs of their husbands.

 

[LJN21]

You just compared a successful happy marriage to Hitler’s Germany??? .

I agree with different perspectives and respecting each other. I do have to say, I am part of an Accountability Group that meets each week. We are made up of 2 Catholics, 1 Lutheran and 2 Deciples of Christ women. We love each other, hold each other’s feet to the fire when we need to, respect each other, and worship the Lord. That is the sole focus of the group. My protestant sisters have taught me a lot about loving God, being a good wife and mother.

Ok, I am done with this topic. There are too many judgemental and angry women who do not understand the needs of their husbands.

You sure they are women? I don’t know for sure but I think several that object to the idea are male.

 

[CCM08]

Whoa, you are waaay out of line with the “spoiled toddler/doormat” comments. How arrogant of you to assume that’s the situation. Men need respect. Women need to feel loved and cherished.

Wow, that’s just wow. So women don’t need respect and men don’t need love? Maybe, just maybe, you don’t know what everyone needs or wants.

It is what it is and the books are right about it. My sister in NOT treated like a doormat. She would never put up with that. However she actively respects her husband instead of being critical of things that really don’t matter. That caused him to step up to the plate and treat her even better. He was never spoiled brat to her. They just crabbed at each other alot. There was a lot of resentment. It’s gone now.

Maybe it is, and maybe she’s just bottling it up until he screws up badly enough and the bottle breaks. A marriage without disagreement is not a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage is when a couple can disagree and using reason come to an agreement with compromise and cooperation. In other words behaving like rational adults.

And what does protestant junk theology of marriage mean anyway?

Considering I’ve known literally dozens of protestants that have been divorced and remarried 6 or more times it’s obvious they don’t understand marriage.

I don’t know, this board may be too judgemental for me. I was hoping to get more out of it that sadness for your negative attitudes and looking down at those not like you. Man, I am so frustrated by this. I wish I had never read this thread and could go on not knowing about your attitudes.

Not everyone agrees that the solution to all of life’s problems involve returning women to chattel status.

 

[johntkd]

Try reading your Catechism! Then you’ll say, “There are two books worth reading in this entire world…”

Here is a searchable one online. I have this site bookmarked. When i want to search for scriptues on a topic, I also seach here:
scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

I have read it, and I stick with my original view one book worth reading the rest Rubbish.

 

[CCM08]

ccmo8, where does the bible say that women are chattel? i don’t recall reading that.

the biblical model for marriage is very balanced. but the key is to reading the bible as a whole. if you take verses out of context or only concentrate on what one gender is supposed to do, then you end up with a very unbalanced view.

see everyone, ccmo8 and i disagree but that doesn’t mean that we will be rude to one another.

Children of both sexes were more or less chattel, boys just got out of it at 12. When you start looking at Mosaic law women are rights of inheritance, it’s the basis of chattel marriage that existed everywhere until the last century or so. Joseph worked under a labor contract in exchange for his two wives, the wives being the “consideration” of the contract. To be consideration something must first be chattel. We no longer regard women as chattel, just as Christ said Moasic law regarding divorces wasn’t hitting the higher standard.

 

[whatevergirl]

To me, surrendering to one’s spouse, means to compromise when you don’t always want to…it means to surrender one’s arrogance…not to be walked on or obey like a slave. That’s what it truly means to surrender…I think there is a misconception of the word ‘surrender’ by some in this thread, and in life, in general.

Surrendering one’s self…becoming self-less is tough work! Just my thoughts.

 

[CCM08]

You just compared a successful happy marriage to Hitler’s Germany???

Hitler’s Germany, on face, was a successful happy soceity that was very unified. Dictators often have the ability to produce such apperences. However, when the viel is lifted there’s usually a few “KZ camps” in these arrangments.

Ok, I am done with this topic. There are too many judgemental and angry women who do not understand the needs of their husbands.

I happen to be a male, but let me check again. Yep, that’s confirmation, I am indeed a male. I’d offer photographic evidence but I don’t think that would set well with the wife of the moderators. My ego simply isn’t so fragile that I need to get self worth from controling and demeaning my wife and her intellect. Nor am I such a child that I need to trot out something written to Hellenistic Jews 2,000 years ago because I’m too fragile to be questioned. In fact I like to be questioned, My wife as a lot of insights to offer from both her different cultural experiences and as a woman. I fail to see why I shouldn’t take advantage of that because of some short social instructions written over 2,000 years ago in a very different world that say I don’t have to. If a man needs such control he isn’t much a man.

 

[LJN21]

To me, surrendering to one’s spouse, means to compromise when you don’t always want to…it means to surrender one’s arrogance…not to be walked on or obey like a slave. That’s what it truly means to surrender…I think there is a misconception of the word ‘surrender’ by some in this thread, and in life, in general.

Surrendering one’s self…becoming self-less is tough work! Just my thoughts.

Agreed!

 

[JudiTherese]

Thank you!

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I take it history isn’t your strong point? The Greeco-Roman world had many large urban centers were men worked outside the home. Not everyone was a farmer.

Actually, that’s a striking difference of a modern woman with a job and one 2,000 years ago. Having property would have completely changed your role in soceity. Even St. Paul would have been more than aware a woman of property in the Greeco-Roman world was his social superior.

So you consider yourself your husband’s chattel then?

A lot of what St. Paul wrote is relevant, and a lot of it isn’t. Protestants tend to, and apperantly some Catholics, focus on St. Paul’s rules for women and forget about what he had to say about men. Let alone other things he wrote, such as there is no difference between male and female, Jew and Gentile.

I am angry that you have insulted me. I will no longer participate in this thread, and I would request that you treat others with more charity in the future. I do not know what I have done to merit such treatment, and I doubt I will respond at all to any of your future posts, in any thread.

Dianna, I am sorry this has happened to your thread.

 

[marybee]

I am angry that you have insulted me. I will no longer participate in this thread, and I would request that you treat others with more charity in the future. I do not know what I have done to merit such treatment, and I doubt I will respond at all to any of your future posts, in any thread.

Dianna, I am sorry this has happened to your thread.

I agree with you CCM08 has made many insulting remarks to many people, there is a definite condescending tone in most of the posts he (?) has made.

 

[Zelie_Louis]

The charity level in this thread became unacceptable. Discussion is now closed.