Take the screaming baby out, please.

[Lorrie]

And I am really fed up with the snide remarks posted by people who appear to believe that being pro-life, pro-family and/or pro-babies means that we must put up with parents who have no idea how to deal with their screaming kids.

Jesus saying “suffer the little children to come unto me” did not mean that we have to suffer endless screaming or bad manners.

It seems that parents today believe that anything their kids want to do must be acceptable behavior. Children need to be trained. Children need to be disciplined. Babies need to be hushed, and that usually means taking them away from the environment in which they are screaming and walk or rock them into peacefulness.

In fact, we are being pro-life, pro-family and pro-babies when we urge the parents to deal properly with their offspring.

Thank you for saying what I was thinking but was unable to find the right words.

Also, thank you to Cat, ac_claire, maryjk, mkingdomlvr, etc. for reading my posts thoroughly and realizing that the baby wasn’t just cooing or whimpering. I was actually beginning to question my sanity when a lot of people weren’t “getting” the fact that the baby was screaming for 10 minutes straight.

 

[kleine_katerine]

Sometimes babies and little kids scream and chatter the whole way through our services too, but hey, they’re only little. The parents try their best to keep them quiet and interested in what’s going on, but they just won’t get it until they’re older.

Fortunately no one eats pop corn etc. during our services. That is disrespectful.

God bless.

 

[Brooklyn]

I understand that a baby screaming can be disruptive. Just yesterday at Mass we had an older priest speaking whose homilies are always filled with wisdom and spiritual jewels, but he speaks very softly, so it’s hard to hear him under good circumstances. And then a baby started screaming.

But you know, as much as I wanted to hear the priest, I loved the sound of that baby. I have to agree with those who mention pro life. There are so many in our world today who choose to kill their babies, that when I see someone with a child, I want to go up and hug them and thank them for bringing their baby into the world. Babies scream because that’s what babies do. It’s a way of exercising their lungs, and they don’t care where they are when they do it. I personally love that sound.

Toddlers running around the church, though, are another matter. I never get mad at the children, but I do get upset with the parents. I remember way back when I was a little girl, back in the 50’s and 60’s. We were never allowed to make a sound or move during Mass. Certainly we were never allowed to bring food to Mass, and no coloring books or any other games. I think it is very good discipline for a child to sit quietly for an hour. And parents are doing their children a great disservice by not teaching them to do so.

Mary

 

[mkingdomlvr]

I understand that a baby screaming can be disruptive. Just yesterday at Mass we had an older priest speaking whose homilies are always filled with wisdom and spiritual jewels, but he speaks very softly, so it’s hard to hear him under good circumstances. And then a baby started screaming.

But you know, as much as I wanted to hear the priest, I loved the sound of that baby. I have to agree with those who mention pro life. There are so many in our world today who choose to kill their babies, that when I see someone with a child, I want to go up and hug them and thank them for bringing their baby into the world. Babies scream because that’s what babies do. It’s a way of exercising their lungs, and they don’t care where they are when they do it. I personally love that sound.

Toddlers running around the church, though, are another matter. I never get mad at the children, but I do get upset with the parents. I remember way back when I was a little girl, back in the 50’s and 60’s. We were never allowed to make a sound or move during Mass. Certainly we were never allowed to bring food to Mass, and no coloring books or any other games. I think it is very good discipline for a child to sit quietly for an hour. And parents are doing their children a great disservice by not teaching them to do so.

Mary

I don’t love listening to a tantruming child and that does NOT mean that I wish said tantruming child had been aborted. It’s not the child’s fault for tantruming, it’s the parent’s fault for not being considerate of others in the Sanctuary and removing the child until they calm down.

I was never allowed toys or food at Mass either, and I can’t fathom the need for them with a child that is old enough to attend school.

 

[Beachcomber]

Personally, I love baby sounds. Gurgles and coos and all that. However, screaming is another matter. The baby doesn’t know he or she needs to be quiet in Mass–it’s a little baby. The parents should have more respect for others and take the baby out.

I’ve been at LDS church services where there are a ginormous number of children. During the part of the service where they have their communion, you could hear a pin drop. Children can be taught to be reverent and if they’re babies, they can be taken out to the foyer or wherever, if they are really disruptive.

 

[Brooklyn]

I don’t love listening to a tantruming child and that does NOT mean that I wish said tantruming child had been aborted. It’s not the child’s fault for tantruming, it’s the parent’s fault for not being considerate of others in the Sanctuary and removing the child until they calm down.

I was never allowed toys or food at Mass either, and I can’t fathom the need for them with a child that is old enough to attend school.

No need to become defensive. I would never for a moment think or mean to imply that you wish a child had been aborted. Please know that I wasn’t saying that at all. As I stated in my post, I completely understand where you are coming from. I was merely stating what my reaction is, and maybe giving you a different way of looking at it. I just love the sound of babies - cooing or whatever. For me, it’s like music in this culture where so many think that babies are disposable. But that’s a personal thing and no reflection on you at all if you don’t feel the same way during a homily.

Mary

 

[Cat]

IMO, when a baby is screaming, something is not quite right.

It could be a need for a diaper change or check. (Some babies are in pain when urine or poop stays against their skin for a long time–my nephews basically have kept the the AD baby ointment people in business!)

This isn’t the kind of thing you do in a pew during Mass–open a diaper. At least, I wouldn’t do this. Yech. Plus it’s too much of a temptation for any pervs in the congregation.

Maybe something in the location where you’re sitting is frightening the baby, or bothering him/her in some way. Maybe it’s cold or hot, or the music is too loud, or the light is shinging in his/her face, or someone’s perfume is giving him/her a headache.

Maybe his/her little legs are tired of being all still and bundled up and he/she just needs to run or kick hard for a few minutes.

There’s the classic “gas” bubble–often a short run or kick session will take care of this.

And it could just be the most likely explanation—fussiness, due to being bored, tired, a little hungry or thirst but not enough to enjoy a full meal, etc.

At any rate, I think that when a baby is screaming and crying, it should be investigated, and not in front of everyone at the Mass. That, to me, is the pro-child thing to do–take the baby’s crying seriously and investigate it. That means taking the baby out.

 

[Frankr409]

Thank you for saying what I was thinking but was unable to find the right words.

Also, thank you to Cat, ac_claire, maryjk, mkingdomlvr, etc. for reading my posts thoroughly and realizing that the baby wasn’t just cooing or whimpering. I was actually beginning to question my sanity when a lot of people weren’t “getting” the fact that the baby was screaming for 10 minutes straight.

Ah, the age old question should the parents of screaming children take their brood to the cry room, or should the cry rooms be enlarged so that the faithful can sit there in reverence and out of the cacophony of screaming children.

One of the reasons I go to the earliest mass possible is that it is frankly less accessible to people who might otherwise bring young children and babies. I am one of those old fashioned types who still believes that sacred silence is the norm and not the exception.

I know that this will upset the militant who think that their children should be able to swing from the rafters of the church if it pleases them, but at least the OP knows that she has my complete support in the matter.

 

[Tracy24]

While I do agree 100% with the OP that parents should be mindful of others and remove the screaming baby if all attempts at calming them fail.

But if I had to make the choice…

I’d sooner listen to a baby screaming then listening to a grown adult who should know better yapping at me all the way through the service like I did yesterday.

 

[ac_claire]

I love babies, I love their little baby sounds, and I’m pro-life. I also don’t like a screaming baby in Mass or in any other situation where we’re all forced to sit there and endure it (for no reason) for any extended length of time.

Not loving extended periods of listening to screaming baby when it could be avoided = secretly pro-choice? Is that really a point you’re gonna get behind? Really?? lol

 

[gloria97000]

Ah, Frankr409 — What would you have thought when you saw my family with our newborn at the 8 AM Mass so she wouldn’t be in a crowd with anyone sneezing on her? LOL. Or with our toddler because at least we knew she would still be well rested at 8 AM?? Or on Easter at 8 AM because the total number of screaming children who weren’t accustomed to going to Mass would be lower than at the 11? (I have my limits, too ) We do take our children out when they cry for any length of time. 10 minutes is a little ridiculous - the kid must need something! - but it can be tough dealing with so many situations (I’m guessing the OP wasn’t referring to any of these, but I’ve dealt with them all :

It’s snowing outside and the cry room visitors are staring at my kid for being too loud there too — but the kiddo’s jacket is still in the pew !!
It’s raining torrents outside and it’s only 2 minutes until Communion- and the kiddo’s blessing…Maybe I can make it through ??? Maybe the rain will let up just a little??? There’s no cry room here at all.
The priest just told me to sit in the front pew before the baby’s baptism – I just hope she won’t start screaming – I’m new at this!!!
Cry room is locked. Don’t know who has a key.
Toddler needs a potty, but the Community Center is locked. Gotta disturb someone, and fast!!

10 minutes of solid screaming is just unnecessary in any circumstance I can immediately imagine, short of physical incapacitation to remove yourself from the situation. Just a plea from a mom, though- please realize the Mass looks really different when you’re attending to a little one!

 

[Frankr409]

Ah, Frankr409 — What would you have thought when you saw my family with our newborn at the 8 AM Mass so she wouldn’t be in a crowd with anyone sneezing on her? LOL. Or with our toddler because at least we knew she would still be well rested at 8 AM?? Or on Easter at 8 AM because the total number of screaming children who weren’t accustomed to going to Mass would be lower than at the 11? (I have my limits, too ) QUOTE]

I would have thought “Geee what a wonderful pious family that is, but wait, they are 30 minutes late for Mass, because my mass starts at 7:30!..I hope the little one doesn’t start screaming…”

LOL…

We also have several families with small children at our 7:30 am Mass, by and large though the parents have done well with them and there is rarely ever an outburst such as the OP has described.

You were right on though about your comment regarding the untrained children at Christmas and Easter Mass that have no clue how to behave, and parents who are equally apathetic because they only attend church twice a year, three times if they have a wedding, and four times if there is a funeral.

 

[jeanannemarie]

You can never tell for sure what’s going on if you don’t know the people with the disruptive child. Each kid has it’s own personality. Several years back, a woman with a tiny girl sat behind me each Mass. The child was a headstrong toddler. Up and down, in and out, they tried not to be disruptive. As things progressed, the day came when it was show down time. Little lady was old enough to know she could manipulate to get out of the Mass. Mom decided to stand her ground. It was rough and it was loud, but it was the LAST battle. Everything is peaceful now. She is in early grade school and the past is a dim memory as she has been sitting quietly since the last battle. Sometimes it would just prolong the agony if you get up one more time. Just my (name removed by moderator)ut, as a mother of five way back when.

 

[zab]

While I do agree 100% with the OP that parents should be mindful of others and remove the screaming baby if all attempts at calming them fail.

But if I had to make the choice…

I’d sooner listen to a baby screaming then listening to a grown adult who should know better yapping at me all the way through the service like I did yesterday.

I’m with you, Tracy. I know what it is like trying to handle a young family in church (and many times by myself when my husband was out to sea). It is so easy for everyone to think they could handle the situation better than the parent who is going through the difficulty at the time. I have heard lots of babies and children making noise in church, but there were very few times when I actually wished the parent had the courage to take the child out. Sometimes they just need to be reminded that it is OK to get up and take them out. And like you said, there are some adults who talk constantly during Mass and they are more annoying because they should know better.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

I’m with you, Tracy. I know what it is like trying to handle a young family in church (and many times by myself when my husband was out to sea). It is so easy for everyone to think they could handle the situation better than the parent who is going through the difficulty at the time. I have heard lots of babies and children making noise in church, but there were very few times when I actually wished the parent had the courage to take the child out. Sometimes they just need to be reminded that it is OK to get up and take them out. And like you said, there are some adults who talk constantly during Mass and they are more annoying because they should know better.

You’ve got that right. I have literally gotten up and changed my seat because of constant chatter from the folks in the pew behind me. Not about anything important, just where are we going for brunch, oh, btw we need to stop at the store and Jimmie has soccer tomorrow can you pick him up? YIKES.

 

[FrCorey]

I couldn’t hear a word of the homily today because a baby screamed all the way through it. Why the parent(s) didn’t take him/her out to the vestibule is beyond me.

Actually, I was able to hear the last sentence - it sounded like we missed out on a good one.

Maybe Jesus asked the baby to scream to see who had patience.

 

[Tracy24]

You’ve got that right. I have literally gotten up and changed my seat because of constant chatter from the folks in the pew behind me. Not about anything important, just where are we going for brunch, oh, btw we need to stop at the store and Jimmie has soccer tomorrow can you pick him up? YIKES.

In my parish there are many young families so baby/toddler noises are the norm(by noises I am covering the spectrum from babbling to screeching/screaming). I have become accustomed to it and it does not bother me in the least, I look at it that at least these children are coming to Mass.
My daughter received First Holy Communion back in May with 13 others from her class and out of those 14 kids only 4 of them are there weekly and the others have not been back at all. I can only pray and hope that these kids are attending Mass elsewhere since I cannot possibly know for sure and it is not up to me to judge others.

Anywhoo…
The inconsiderate adult I was referring to is my fiance’s sisters boyfriend. He is a cradle Catholic and has attended Mass his entire life so I would expect him to know better. This past Sunday he visited at my parish for Mass along with my nieces and his mother. I was praying before Mass and he comes walking up and strikes up a conversation even though it was obvious I was in prayer(kneeling, hands folded, head bowed). He complained about the choir continuously and during the Consecration he is complaining how his parish does things differently.
If I could have gotten up and moved without looking like I was being rude believe me I would have.
But I’ll stop now since I feel like I am hijacking the thread which is not my intent.

 

[ArthurQArch]

We have six kids, the oldest of which is nine. Me being the father and primary discipliner, take our children out if they act up. The worst is when they are about 3-5 years old and they are screaming “DON’T SPANK ME” at the top of their lungs as you take them out. :blushing:

 

[rwillenborg]

Reading threads like this is what makes me want to stop attending Mass. I should probably just stop reading this thread then, right?
Both of my girls had colic. Ever take twins with colic to Mass? Least. Fun. Ever. Colic means they scream for no reason and won’t stop. I took them to the cry room. It echoes. Who on earth would design a cry room so poorly?
Should I have stayed home? I did, often. But I really, really wanted to go to Mass and now that the girls are two years old I still struggle EVERY WEEK with going to Mass.
Mass starts at 9. I start getting myself and the girls ready at 6:30.
It’s quite the process.
And we go into the cry room for the entire time. I leave Mass SWEATY. Does anyone else leave Mass sweaty? Mass is THE most difficult hour of my week, hands down, bar none.
And knowing that other people think I’m being a bad parent doesn’t help. It’s actually incredibly hurtful.
There are plenty of other parishes and denominations that are happy people bring their children. I just assumed Catholic ones would be, too.

 

[pnewton]

There are plenty of other parishes and denominations that are happy people bring their children. I just assumed Catholic ones would be, too.

Catholic churches, like any other denomination, are not all alike. Some are very child friendly, some are less so, like any other denomination. It is unfair to paint all with a broad brush. My Church has both a cry room *and *carte blanche on crying babies. This means a couple of the Masses are going to have a lot of crying babies. My priest will never say anything to discourage a mother from bringing her baby to Mass. He has the patience of Job when it comes to such matters.