Take the screaming baby out, please.

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Mother of 3 girls, 6, 4 and 2, with another on the way. My four year old has a REALLY tough time during Mass, and more often than not, I have to take her out. Yes, I miss communion (one of the many reasons I get up at the crack of dawn to go to daily Mass), but realistically, I’m usually so upset with her behavior by then, that I’m probably not properly disposed to receive anyway.

I just had a small piece of advice for the OP, as well as for those of us who have had to remove our kiddos…those times when I’ve missed the homily, I simply ask the priest to send me his homily notes. Most priests don’t preach off the cuff, so he probably has something that will at least give you the gist of what he was saying. It’s not the same as hearing it during Mass, but it’s better that missing it altogether.

I’m sorry you were subject to the screaming baby, but at the same time I had to smile because for once, it wasn’t MY kid! 😃

BTW…the cry room in my church is completely worthless. The parents talk louder than the kids, and it’s full of toys. I take mine out…to the parking lot if necessary, but there’s no WAY I’m bringing them into the cry room anymore.
 
rwillenborg said:
There are plenty of other parishes and denominations that are happy people bring their children.🤷 I just assumed Catholic ones would be, too.
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I think everyone is happy to see babies and children at Mass. But when a child is screaming for 10 minutes, it is time to take the child out.
 
kristie_m said:
I just had a small piece of advice for the OP, as well as for those of us who have had to remove our kiddos…those times when I’ve missed the homily, I simply ask the priest to send me his homily notes.
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This is a wonderful idea!! Thank you! 🙂
 
Babies gurgling and cooing, I don’t mind. I find it oddly soothing and sometimes amusing: I remember one Sunday, we seemed to be having infant try-outs for the choir, or the future Three Tenors warming up. But a baby screaming at the top of his/her lungs? Because of my over-sensitive hearing (I can hear soft sounds most people can’t), it’s like the roar of a jumbo jet engine. I also work the morning shift in grocery retail, so I get a lot of crying babies and tantruming toddlers; I’ve swear developed a “shhhhhh!!!” reflex in response to it… But I think if I did that at Mass, I probably would be embarrassed.
 
maryjk said:
I think everyone is happy to see babies and children at Mass. But when a child is screaming for 10 minutes, it is time to take the child out.
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It wouldn’t hurt to say a little prayer for the mother and baby.
 
When a baby screams for ten minutes, it is to me a little strange that the parents would do nothing to correct the situation: i.e., take the child out. The OP is not being ungenerous; in fact, what she is asking for seems entirely reasonable. She did not say that she expected all children to behave all the time.
As a parent with four grown children, I can well remember the difficulties we had, esp. with the youngest. When one of us would get up to take him outside (and there was no cry room - just outside), he’d yell, “Don’t hit me, Daddy!” Talk about embarrassing.
Anyway, it seems to me that parents are a lot more lax with their youngsters about good behavior in public places than they were a few years ago. I’ve seen behavior in some children running around that a zoo wouldn’t allow in a chimp.
 
Musician said:
When a baby screams for ten minutes, it is to me a little strange that the parents would do nothing to correct the situation: i.e., take the child out. The OP is not being ungenerous; in fact, what she is asking for seems entirely reasonable. She did not say that she expected all children to behave all the time.
As a parent with four grown children, I can well remember the difficulties we had, esp. with the youngest. When one of us would get up to take him outside (and there was no cry room - just outside), he’d yell, “Don’t hit me, Daddy!” Talk about embarrassing.
Anyway, it seems to me that parents are a lot more lax with their youngsters about good behavior in public places than they were a few years ago. I’ve seen behavior in some children running around that a zoo wouldn’t allow in a chimp.
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Yup, good points all.
 
I used to struggle with this. I spent the better part of 14 years in a cry room. Now our youngest children don’t get to go to Mass until they reach the age of reason, or sit can quietly. Whichever comes first. I leave my youngest home with my husband, who goes to a different Mass. Much easier. I’m there at Mass to worship now. “Romper Room” will commence soon enough, when I get home.

But now, the youngest (just turned four), thinks she must be missing out on something good. So, she told me she wants to become a nun. That way I can’t stop her from going to church. :rotfl: Kids are so funny, aren’t they? If it isn’t one thing it’s another.
 
Jacafamala said:
I used to struggle with this. I spent the better part of 14 years in a cry room. Now our youngest children don’t get to go to Mass until they reach the age of reason, or sit can quietly. Whichever comes first. I leave my youngest home with my husband, who goes to a different Mass. Much easier. I’m there at Mass to worship now. “Romper Room” will commence soon enough, when I get home.

But now, the youngest (just turned four), thinks she must be missing out on something good. So, she told me she wants to become a nun. That way I can’t stop her from going to church. :rotfl: Kids are so funny, aren’t they? If it isn’t one thing it’s another.
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Sounds like this one is definitely ready to go to Mass, Mommy! 😛
 
zab said:
It wouldn’t hurt to say a little prayer for the mother and baby.
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No, it wouldn’t. Or for the father and baby. 👍

Praying for someone having a hard time is always a great idea. Praying for someone that may seem clueless, is also good. And someone that allows their baby to cry for 10 minutes straight, in a public place, where people are trying to listen, to me seems clueless and could really use some prayers.
 
Musician said:
When a baby screams for ten minutes, it is to me a little strange that the parents would do nothing to correct the situation: i.e., take the child out. The OP is not being ungenerous; in fact, what she is asking for seems entirely reasonable. She did not say that she expected all children to behave all the time.
As a parent with four grown children, I can well remember the difficulties we had, esp. with the youngest. When one of us would get up to take him outside (and there was no cry room - just outside), he’d yell, “Don’t hit me, Daddy!” Talk about embarrassing.
Anyway, it seems to me that parents are a lot more lax with their youngsters about good behavior in public places than they were a few years ago. I’ve seen behavior in some children running around that a zoo wouldn’t allow in a chimp.
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I think we can all agree that the parents should have taken the baby out, even though we don’t know all of the facts and the difficulties involved at the time. Were both parents there? Did the mother need help with a younger child while attending to an infant? We all learned from experience. They will too. Today’s young parents are often expected to be experts from the beginning. If young parents did some things today that my parents did, they could be charged with neglect or abuse. All that I am saying is that it would be better to say a prayer for the family instead of criticising them. Offer a little friendly conversation letting them know they are not alone, that you and many others have had to deal with similiar situations and that it is OK to take the baby out.
 
Musician said:
Sounds like this one is definitely ready to go to Mass, Mommy! 😛
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Yeah, she’s getting there. But I know the next time I take her she’ll forget to be quiet and have to be taken out. She’ll end up napping in her car seat out in the truck with either myself or with her big sister. It’s the way of it. No cry room at the new church.

So, I’m stalling for time with regard to taking her…🙂
 
zab said:
All that I am saying is that it would be better to say a prayer for the family instead of criticising them.
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In the case of the OP, I wanna do both. Pray for them and complain about them.
 
zab said:
All that I am saying is that it would be better to say a prayer for the family instead of criticising them.
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In the case of the OP, I wanna do both. Pray for them and complain about them. 🙂
 
zab said:
All that I am saying is that it would be better to say a prayer for the family instead of criticising them.
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In the case of the OP, I wanna do both. Pray for them and really hope they don’t continue to disturb Mass like this.
 
Lorrie said:
What happened today was insane. I’m not exaggerating when I say that it lasted for at least 10 minutes, and I’m not talking about just simple crying - the baby was literally screaming. How does a parent just sit there and not do anything? ! :whacky: :eek:
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Well, nursing a baby is the best way to keep him or her quiet. But if that had happened, this thread would be about the rudeness of a mother breastfeeding in mass.
 
mom24boys said:
Well, nursing a baby is the best way to keep him or her quiet. But if that had happened, this thread would be about the rudeness of a mother breastfeeding in mass.
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Lound, un-ending noise is definitely worse. 😉

The rudest people I’ve ever been near at Mass were unfortunately full grown men, chatting loudly and joking around while kneeling side-by-side during the consecration. Babies don’t offend in that way. Really it’s more the distraction and the high pitched noise/ear pain from said noise. I’m talking here about the piercing shriekers that aren’t removed from Mass, like the OP mentioned. I’ve experienced it only a few times, it’s thankfully the exception; not the rule. Not normal baby noises we’re talking about.
 
I’m pretty mad at the people on the design committee at my parish. They built the church shortly before we joined. They left out the cry room and put benches in the Narthax for parents to take kids out.

It’s totally impossible to contain and soothe toddlers in this space. there’s three sets of doors. There’s a set of stairs. There’s a large low sitting baptismal font. There’s a statue of Our Blessed Mother with burning candles. There’s potted plants, and a prolife easel with a bulletin board on it. And, there’s an elevator with an enticing red button right by the doors to the Church.

On top of all that, people are walking through the space all throughout the Mass–they are going to the bathroom or leaving early. :mad:

I don’t personally like to nurse in Mass because I know it bothers some people. So, I go out to nurse. In a cry room, I could tuck myself in back and nurse. But, in the Narthax, there are people walking right by me. and, since babies draw the eye, most are looking at the baby, not realizing that I’m nursing until they get right by me. It’s so awkward.

Plus, sometimes people who arrive late will just sit in the Narthax instead of going into Mass. So, instead of being with a group of sympathetic parents, I have to worry about disturbing other adults. Usually, I have to pull up a chair from the attached parish hall. So, I’m dragging a chair, diaper bag and baby.

I hate taking kids out because I hate trying to contain them in the Narthax. If my dh takes any toddlers out, he takes them straight to the van and misses the rest of Mass.

.
 
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