Me and my fiance are getting married in August. We have actually not really talk about sex really detailed
Do you think, this is necessary or even appropriate before the wedding? What do you think or how did you handle things before your wedding?
Of course, it is very important.
The marriage is a sexed and sexual institution and a sexed and sexual contract. The mutual and reciprocal donation of bodies implies the mutual and reciprocal donation of nudities. The marital sexual charity is a right, is an obligation and is a duty for each one of members of couple: to do, not to do, to allow to do, not to allow to do, to allow not to do, to give, not to give, to allow to give, not to allow to give, to allow not to give, to receive, not to receive, to allow to receive, not to allow to receive, to allow not to receive, to take, not to take, to allow to take, not to allow to take, to allow not to take, to offer, not to offer, to allow to offer, not to allow to offer, to allow not to offer.
In canon law and in catholic morality, we talk about** the right on the body, about the right of the body and about the right to the body**. There is also
the sexual cooperation in the human fashion because the marriage is a sexed and sexual matter. The right of marital act, the obligation of the marital act, the duty of the marital act, the marital sexual debt, the conjugal sexual charity, the conjugal sexual chastity, the conjugal sexual privileges, the conjugal carnal union, the conjugal carnal love, the natural family planning, the mutual and reciprocal submission concerning the conjugal sexuality, the sexual equality and the sexual equity of each spouse about the marital act, the total lack of superiority and of inferiority between spouses about the marital act are elements of marriage.There are the natural moral order of the materiality of the marital act and the natural moral order of the intentionality of the marital act. Before the celebration of wedding, in my humble opinion, each engaged person has to explain to the other its own view, in all honesty, on:
*The moral issues of the marital act, the spiritual issues of the marital act, the religious issues of the marital act, the cultural issues of the marital act, the physical issues of the marital act, the mental issues of the marital act, the psychological issues of the marital act, the physiological issues of the marital act, the sexual issues of the marital act, the sexual needs, the sexual desires, the sexual hopes, the sexual expectations, the sexual wishes, the sexual wills, the sexual vows, the sexual ideals, the sexual intentions, the sexual mentalities, the sexual beliefs, the sexual diseases, the sexual culture, the sexual education, the almost non negociable sexual things (in positive and in negative) and the sexual fears concerning the marital act;
*
The “Quis”, the person who realizes the marital act (who); The “Quibus auxiliis”, the means used or employed for the marital act; The “Quid”, the act that the person has made (what, the sexual object of contract and of the institution with corollaries, sexual union of bodies, before, during and after); The “Ubi”, the place where the person has made the marital act (where with all corollaries); The"Quando", the time when the person has made the marital act (when with all corollaries); The “Quomodo”, the manner which the person has made the act (how with all corollaries in the human fashion with sexual cooperation); The “Cur”, the motives that have motivated the person to perform the act (what for with all corollaries); The “Circa quid”, the matter (the material, the sexed and sexual body of the other) on which the person has acted;
Where? When? Why? What for? In which intention? How many times? How often ? How fast? How? Which manner ? The foreplay, the sexual foreplay, the afterplay…etc.
Honestly, before the wedding, each one is almost able to evaluate its own sex drive. Of course, it is not an exact science, but a good evaluation is probable and possible: a reasonnable understanding of its average libido is not impossible.
A chaste engaged couple does not have to be naive about the nature of marriage: a sexed and sexual contract. If him and her are “innocent”, “naive” or full “shame” about this topic, in my opinion, it is very sad and it is imprudent of getting marriage. The naivety is not the virginity. In my opinion, each one should explain to the other everything about sexual expectations of the marital act. She and he should say their moral beliefs about the physical activities in the context of marital act; she and he should say their moral beliefs about the physical tenderness out of the context of marital act.
The marriage and the conjugal life mean, also, the fact of making some sexual efforts in favor of the other, and some sexual sacrifices in favor of the other. The sexual ajustements have to be mutual and reciprocal (the reciprocity, the mutuality, the alternativity).
You need to pray God during the fiançailles. Talk, communicate between fiancées about all topics concerning the marriage
(money, job, sport, leisure, education of future children, travels, morality, mentality, sexuality, religion, spirituality, the roles of wife, the roles of husband, the rights of wife, the rights of husband, the obligations of wife, the obligations of husband, the duties of wife, the duties of husband, the N.F.P, the almost non-negotiable principles of each one…etc).
