Teenagers and birth control

[moira]

How would you answer someone who said to you, “You should think about getting some form of birth control for your sixteen year old daughter. I know your Church doesn’t approve of birth control, but that won’t stop her from having sex. And you wouldn’t want her to get pregnant.”

 

[JPII_TOB]

I would say giving into that mentality has got us where we are today in terms of the lack of respect for human life and the dignity of the person. First of all we need to educate ourselves on the why behind the teaching of the Church. This way we can better explain it. By the grace of God in my own life I stumbled into the Theology of the Body by JPII. To understand the Church’s wisdom on sexual morality we must first understand what it means to be human. But I would refer you to www.pureloveclub.com for you and your daughter. It is done by Jason and Crystalina Evert, who both work here at Catholic Answers. You will find great resources there.

God Bless

 

[decn2b]

With that mentality yor might as well buy teens some clean unused syringes. Since they are going to make the decision to use heroin or not on their own. After all they are going to do it anyway and you wouldn’t want them to catch HIV or Hepatitis.

Both behaviors are sin and I supposed you could say damaging enough to a soul that thoughts of eternity come into play.

Well I guess on the good side I heard that it is a dry heat.

 

[geocajun]

How would you answer someone who said to you, “You should think about getting some form of birth control for your sixteen year old daughter. I know your Church doesn’t approve of birth control, but that won’t stop her from having sex. And you wouldn’t want her to get pregnant.”

I’d just thank them for their concern and tell them that as a matter of integrity, you cannot take contraceptives and call yourself catholic.

 

[KCT]

I’d tell them my daughter respects herself too much to put chemicals in her body just so some boy could take advantage of her. Too bad all young women don’t feel that way. --KCT

 

[moira]

Thank you so much for these answers.

I feel that giving her contraceptives would only give her permission to sin. And as her mother, I cannot and will not help her do that. She has grown up with the teachings of the Church. That doesn’t mean that she will adhere to them but I pray she does.

 

[mikew262]

Just curious here. How many of you folks who answered, have actually raised daughters to adulthood?

 

[geocajun]

Just curious here. How many of you folks who answered, have actually raised daughters to adulthood?

Mike,
Are you ‘just curious’ or trying to discredit the responses of those of us who haven’t experienced raising girls to adulthood?
The folly of this thinking implies that I cannot tell you fire is hot unless I have burned myself, nor that it sucks to go to hell since I haven’t been there myself. Perhaps even responsible parents must do drugs before telling their kids it is bad for them.

 

[gmarie21]

Well, in “Sex has a Price Tag” the speaker addresses the pregnancy issue and says that parents are doing a GREAT disservice to their daughters with the “she may get pregnant” mentality. Pregnancy isn’t the worse thing that can happen to a teenage girl. A life long STD and/or infertility is the WORSE thing than can happen to the girls who are sexually active. Birth control pills do not stop HPV (which can lead to cervical cancer), they do not stop other STDs that can and do lead to infertility, they can’t stop Herpes or HIV, etc. Allowing one’s daughter to take birth control is the most irresponsible approach to the chance that one’s daughter may become sexually active. And this is coming from a former sinner who’s mother allowed her to take birth control at 18 (the same day I decided it was okay to have sex was the same day I started taking the pill).

 

[byHisGrace]

Just curious here. How many of you folks who answered, have actually raised daughters to adulthood?

Mike,

I hadn’t posted earlier on the thread, but I totally agree with the advice given, and we’ve lived it with our children. Two of our five are daughters and are in their mid to late twenties. Encouraging abc would have only been seen by them as consent to fornication, or, imho, just as bad, that we didn’t trust them to do what was morally right. You can’t enforce morality in these areas with your children, but you sure have the obligation as both a parent and a Catholic to teach them right and wrong, and back it up with both your own actions, and being consistent. Sending the message to your child that “sex outside of marriage is wrong, but I know you’re going to do it anyway, so commit another wrong by using abc…!” negates the entire witness to our faith with them, shows that we don’t trust them, and that its ok to pile the sin of abc on top of fornication. I don’t see how anyone calling themselves Catholic and living Catholic values can promote abc and fornication for their children.

God bless you!

 

[PLAL]

How would you answer someone who said to you, “You should think about getting some form of birth control for your sixteen year old daughter. I know your Church doesn’t approve of birth control, but that won’t stop her from having sex. And you wouldn’t want her to get pregnant.”

Tell them to listen online to Jason Evert’s Chastity Education Seminar to Private and Public Schools…

pureloveclub.com/seminars/index.php?id=3

 

[mikew262]

Mike,
Are you ‘just curious’ or trying to discredit the responses of those of us who haven’t experienced raising girls to adulthood?
The folly of this thinking implies that I cannot tell you fire is hot unless I have burned myself, nor that it sucks to go to hell since I haven’t been there myself. Perhaps even responsible parents must do drugs before telling their kids it is bad for them.

My point is it’s easy to give advice and pontificate, but until you’ve walked the walk…

 

[decn2b]

Mike,

Did you know the best Liver Transplant Surgeon in the world has never actually had a transplant himself. Seems like he can talk the walk without ever having walked it.

Oh and yes I have two daughters who are daily Mass attending young women…who by the way were public school kids.

SO theya

 

[siamesecat]

Most teenage girls I know do have sex, but some, like me and one friend, don’t want to, at least not in high school. I saw some article in a magazine about a school in Ohio where girls had never been taught about contraception and 60% of the girls were pregnant! You should have seen the prom pics! I’ve never known someone pregnant at my school and the majority of them are sexually active.

 

[mikew262]

Mike,

Oh and yes I have two daughters who are daily Mass attending young women…who by the way were public school kids.

SO theya

Then you have “walked the walk”.

 

[mikew262]

Most teenage girls I know do have sex, but some, like me and one friend, don’t want to, at least not in high school. I saw some article in a magazine about a school in Ohio where girls had never been taught about contraception and 60% of the girls were pregnant! You should have seen the prom pics! I’ve never known someone pregnant at my school and the majority of them are sexually active.

Sorry folks, but like it or not, this is reality.

BTW Siamesecat, good for you!!

 

[estesbob]

Just curious here. How many of you folks who answered, have actually raised daughters to adulthood?

I have. and both of my Daughters were chaste until long after they left my household.

I find that when one gets unsolicted advice from someone about puting your daughters on the pill it stems from one of two things:

Guilt at being promiscous when they were a teen and/or
Guilt about accepting(and in many cases encouraging) the promiscuity of their teens.

 

[cienwen]

Sorry folks, but like it or not, this is reality. QUOTE]

I am curious what your point is? Because young people do stupid, sinful things we should disregard what is right and encourage them to do an additional sinful thing?

I went to a public school where we were taught how to put a condom on a banana. Plenty of my classmates where pregnant and lots were sexually active. Disease and babies abounded. But most of them also believed in the “I’m already saved” theology as well. My High School was a block from Planned Parenthood. I could go to the nurse and fill my pockets with condoms if I wanted to. What stopped me? Parents at home who told me it was all wrong and stuck to their guns.

Two wrongs will not make a right. The same arguments keep abortion thriving.

 

[mikew262]

mikew262;1474531:

Sorry folks, but like it or not, this is reality. QUOTE]

I am curious what your point is? Because young people do stupid, sinful things we should disregard what is right and encourage them to do an additional sinful thing?

I think you know what my point is.

Yes, young people do stupid and sinful things and it’s up to responsible parents to advise them. Certainly, initial and primary advice should center around abstaining from sex, but because they frequently do stupid things, then advice should also include preventing pregnancy and STDs.

BTW, I don’t advocate abortion.

 

[estesbob]

cienwen;1474567:

I think you know what my point is.

Yes, young people do stupid and sinful things and it’s up to responsible parents to advise them. Certainly, initial and primary advice should center around abstaining from sex, but because they frequently do stupid things, then advice should also include preventing pregnancy and STDs.

BTW, I don’t

advocate abortion.

Bad advice. There is no such thing as safe sex and there is no such thing as 100% effective contraception. By telling our teens to use contraception we are making a twofold mistake:

1. We are treating them as nothing more than sexual animals who cant control their lust
2. we are giving them false information about the consequences of having sex-that is we are telling them that there is a way to have sex with no consequences.