Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

  • Thread starter Thread starter boldlygo
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
This last April Fool’s Day BoldlyGo decided to play jokes on the golfers where he works.
First he used a camouflaged type of Velcro on the golf balls and clubs, so they would stick together on contact with each other.
Next he rigged each golf hole with a spring loaded device so that when the ball entered the hole it would fly back out of the hole at least 75 feet.
He was last seen sneaking around the club house with a dozen whoopie cushions.
 
Last edited:
Milt owns a company making gag items. He has made a fortune selling Boldlygo the camo-velcro, the ejection devices and the whoopie cushions. He is currently trying to sell BG a case of plastic vomit to put on the chairs in the snack bar at the golf course.
 
[Whoopie cushions…plastic vomit…aren’t we dating ourselves a bit?]

The plastic vomit is modeled after the kitchen floor in the house joeybaggzzzzz rents…six years ago, he accidentally used a caustic solution to mop up yet another kitchen disaster…the mop was destroyed, the mop bucket melted, and the floor looks [and smells] like - well - vomit…
He’s lived with it for six years, because he’s afraid to tell the landlady [his maiden aunt] what happened…
 
Boldly go is typing,sweat dripping from his nose and fingers onto his phone.He’s stuck in some out of the way place in Indonesia after being ripped off and mugged on a sightseeing tour and now is trying to buy a ticket home by documenting his adventures for an American travel site.$15 an article,going to take sometime.Family refuse to help him yet again ,and his Embassy …well,his story doesn’t add up.
 
Some of you here might be wondering why the comedian-turned-terrorist Sam Hyde keeps getting away with mass shootings and such. That’s because his most trusted accomplice, known only as “Greenfields,” is THE getaway driver par excellence. Think Ryan Gosling in the movie Drive, but more enigmatic and tight-lipped. So much so that nobody knows what Greenfields looks like, what their voice sounds like, or even whether or not they like their coffee black.

Once Greenfields gets behind the wheel of a 1973 Chevrolet Chevelle, nothing could stop them - whether it be dogged pursuit by cop cars and choppers, strategically-placed spikes and road blocks, or even the unforgiving National Guard with with their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns. A veritable demon on wheels, that Greenfields.


PIctured above is Sam Hyde and his favorite gun, “Matilda”. Unfortunately, as of this time there is still no photo of Greenfields, nor is there even a rough sketch of their likeness.
 
I’m glad you liked it. I needed to exercise my comedy-writing muscles and this thread must’ve been the answer to that prayer 🙂
 
The (name removed by moderator) is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Catholic Answers is his last ditch effort at fame.
 
Brother Gov has appeared on ‘The Gong Show’ three times…the first time, disguised as a little old lady, he attempted to tap dance with a sprained ankle…the second time, he appeared as a hung-over derelict, playing spoons…
After being Gonged, and publicly humiliated, twice, he assumed [never assume…] that he would be safe in his clerical garb…he went onstage and alternately hummed and whistled Gregorian chant…he was pulled offstage with the shepherd’s crook in record time.
 
There you go again…telling the truth in the Liars’ thread…

I keep my gong collection out in the orchard… my favorite is in the likeness of Greenfields [some say it looks like the 'Wicked Witch of the West]…it’s hanging from a large branch on an old apple tree, and when you strike it in the stomach with a ball bat, instead of clanging, it passes gas, and kills all the bugs in the trees…
 
Milt owned a chicken farm, and fed the chicken vegan meat. Milt thought it would be cheaper and healthier. Turns out not, the chicken are in the process of taking over the farm. The chicken have already made up a constitution and are trying to get the neighboring pig farm involved.

Their constitution:
  1. Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
  2. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
  3. No animal shall wear clothes.
  4. No animal shall sleep in a bed.
  5. No animal shall drink alcohol.
  6. No animal shall kill any other animal.
  7. All animals are equal.
Click to expand...
 
Bartholo once went to the top of the Empire State Building, so he could make a political statement by ‘mooning’ the entire city…he had to wait in line…
 
Boldlygo works on quarrying rock,he’s the powder monkey …his name was derived from being both very brave(?) and having great enjoyment blasting boulders.
 
Greenfields is feeling a little under the weather. Her analysis of Boldlygo’s occupation is being seriously compromised by a very bad case of vertigo caused by the flu. Boldlygo’s powder monkey has nothing to do with powder used for blasting boulders, but rather as a mule (or monkey) for some kind of weird powder coming out of Columbia.
 
Patriot that he is, joeybaggzzzzz enlisted in the military as a young man…he slept through basic training, and they were quite frankly stumped as to what to do with him…he was assigned to KP until they could figure him out, when an amazing discovery solved everything - the NCO in charge of the dining hall found that he could peel potatoes in his sleep!
For the next four years, joeybaggzzzzz ate, slept, and worked in the dining hall…he peeled enough potatoes to feed thousands of recruits…to this day, he’s known as ‘Spud’ to his military buddies…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top