Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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joeybaggzzzzz assisted on the surgery, but, typically, fell asleep…he awoke hours later, with a double cheek transplant, and the sudden urge for a size XXL girdle…

[That’ll teach you to drink Bud Light…any brew with ‘light’ on the label shouldn’t be opened, much less consumed…my well water has more taste {and color} than Bud Light.]
 
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Boldlygo is actually a bald 25-year old college student. This is put together by my extenwife research as in I was talking with a guy I know and his mentioning the low alcohol content and boldlygo’s comment. It also explains his affinity to Chipotle.
 
What cheeks??!!

(name removed by moderator) now wears suspenders…with his lack of cheeks [and lack of brain…], a belt just doesn’t work anymore…
 
(name removed by moderator) decided that lying was bad for the soul, so he went on a 30-day silent retreat at the Diocesan Retreat House…he was so moved by the retreat and all the wonderful speakers that he joined the Order that sponsored the retreat…he’s now Brother Gov, complete with brown hooded robe and tonsured hair, and he insisted that in addition to vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, he also be allowed to take a vow of truth…if he ever tells a lie, he has to leave the Order, turn in his robe, and make the tonsured hair permanent with a blowtorch…
 
(name removed by moderator), now known as Brother Gov has embarked on a new modeling career. He is in demand for artists wishing to make statues of Francis of Assisi and is the spokesman for the Brother Corporation, makers of fax and copy machines. Mysteriously, sales of both the statues and office equipment have plummeted in the recent fiscal quarter.
 
Brother Gov is now teaching at the parish school…the kids all think he’s cool because his bald spot reflects so much light…his best subject is history, because he remembers most of it - what’s history to the kids is still current events to him…
 
(name removed by moderator) goes to work real early so he can practice drifting in the empty parking lot.
 
(name removed by moderator) was cast as the crazy admiral in Mary Poppins II: The Effect of Popcorn Magic. Unfortunately, his canons on the stage were only cardboard replicas due to budget issues, so he’s sticking with Gargoyles for defense around his room in the chateau.
 
SuperLuigi was cast as one of the Gargoyles, again due to budget issues - no makeup was required…
 
Boldlygo spends his fall evenings trying to hypnotize his taxonomy collection using a grandfather clock that he bought at a flea market mark-down bargain price.
 
SuperLuigi was a master counterfeiter. He spent long years perfecting his illicit craft. The only currency he would ever reproduce, however, was Monopoly money. He took a big Chance trying to cheat the Community Chest, and in the end he was sent to jail. Directly to jail. He could not pass Go. He could not collect $200.
 
Christofirst bailed Luigi out of jail and then as his lawyer got a sentence of NOT GUILTY. He was so happy to do this for his
hero Luigi, he didn’t even send a bill.
 
Brother Gov, kind-hearted soul that he is, decided to help christofirst with the annulment proceedings…he got every second-grader in his parish to swear under oath that SuperLuigi was their father…SuperLuigi was jailed indefinitely as a threat to society, the annulment was granted for the safety of the 75-year-old showgirl, and Brother Gov got to keep his robe and avoid the blowtorch because the kids lied, but he didn’t…
 
[Wow…I was playing bridge online when you posted…]

(Some people exist in Florida, but nobody lives in Florida…)

Brother Gov’s solemn and peaceful life as a hermit came to a screeching [literally] halt when the second-graders of his parish found out where he was…he’s now reffing dodgeball twelve hours a day, and fixing snacks several times daily while artfully dodging…
 
Brother Gov really loves his second-graders, but there are limits…he went to the Acme Costume Rental Company, and rented a skeleton and a bear costume…he scattered the bones among his clothing, put on the bear costume, and waited…when his kids returned, they thought something horrible had happened to their beloved Brother Gov, and when he emerged from the back of the cave, in his bear costume, they ran for their lives…
Peace and tranquility once again reign in Brother Gov’s cave…
 
(name removed by moderator) is the governor of a small
Nation state called " Governatolandia". It’s a small nation state of about 6 people, 10 during tourist season.
 
Arnold Swchanager is Govenator’s hero. And that is how Govenator came up with his username.
 
(name removed by moderator)'s sage advice is simply, “give it some good dirt, plenty of sunlight and water. I use it in my meatloaf along with a sprinkle of rosemary.”
 
(name removed by moderator), fondly known to his second grade Sunday School class as Brother Gov, International Man of Mystery, has been nominated by President Trump as his personal envoy to North Korea. In an attempt to hone his negotiating skills, Brother Gov is practicing his bad hair day and fat boy jokes to make an impression when he meets the leader of North Korea who he fondly refers to as Humpty Dumpty. Film at eleven.
 
(name removed by moderator) tried to create a youtube series called (name removed by moderator), which is the take of a crazy Australian governor in the fabled city of Outback-polis in the year 2578 based on the Terminator films. It stars (name removed by moderator) as (name removed by moderator), who is a wishy-washy old curmudgeon who has gotten rich on bitcoin currency from interplanetary mineral sales.
 
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