Telling women over 40 what they can wear

[dermot2]

Well I’m 56 and still wear jeans (not tight), and shoulder length hair. And yes, I get flack from relatives who think my hair is too long for my age. But guess what – I like it! Short hair never looked good on me when I was young so why would it look good on me now?. I don’t have great bone structure and the longer hair just seems to make up for what’s lacking. Plus it’s, thick and shiny.

Sometimes I think people make certain comments out of jealousy and nothing else.

 

[BlestOne]

I am soooo gonna get flamed here…

I am 45 and size 8-10 (mostly 10 lately) and right now I am wearing a camo skort that is pretty short and a tank top. Now before you flame me… it is not my usual work attire. It is really hot out right now and very little else in my wardrobe fits me. That being said, I have found skirts are way more comfortable too… mostly because I have gained 30 lbs since February (miscarriage and depressed). I can’t even fit into some of my size 8 tall pants or jeans right now so I have to wear shorts (even more of a problem since I bought them last year when I was alot thinner) or skirts… most of which have elastic waistlines. Yesterday I wore a skirt that came down to my ankles and was a gauze like material… It could have looked frumpy but I picked out a peach color from the flowers and wore a shirt to match… the majority of the colors were kinda drab besides the peach so I “brightened it up” with a cute top in an unlikely yet matching color… I think it worked… at least my kids didn’t say they wouldn’t be seen with me in it (yes they have said that before).

I am working at getting the weight I gained off… but until then, I refuse to buy clothes so I guess I am stuck with what I have. I have recently stopped tucking in my shirts in an effort to hide the ill-fitting pants or shorts… so sad!!! I have always been a tuck in kind of girl… very tailored looks in my clothes… now I feel huge and frumpy.

 

[tapiocapudding]

ahh crocs. So ugly, but I never would have survived my last trimester of pregnancy without them! I’m 22 with hair to my waist and I have absolutely no intention of cutting it short even when I approach 40! I think long hair is beautiful on women of all ages.

 

[puzzleannie]

for modesty, age appropriateness, and fit (if you shop carefully and buy properly) and abiltiy to dress up or down for any occasion you can’t beat the classic shirt dress. if it does not button properly the fit is wrong or you need better foundation garments.

 

[gardenswithkids]

I am soooo gonna get flamed here…

I am 45 and size 8-10 (mostly 10 lately) … I have found skirts are way more comfortable too… mostly because I have gained 30 lbs since February (miscarriage and depressed). …I am working at getting the weight I gained off… but until then, I refuse to buy clothes so I guess I am stuck with what I have. …I have always been a tuck in kind of girl… very tailored looks in my clothes… now I feel huge and frumpy.

I hope no one flames you for gaining weight while going through a miscarriage and depression. (They better not.:ehh: ) If you are a size 10 and wear tall pants, you don’t sound “huge”. But you might feel better (and less frumpy) if you had one or two well tailored items you liked that fit until you loose the weight. Then–once you loose the weight–you have clothes that proove you lost weight.

I hate feeling frumpy. Blah. Frumpiness can be a trap. If I feel “fat and frumpy” I may eat more because I’m depressed. Then I feel frumpier and may start to think “why bother?” It can keep going further downhill from there, and the further downhil the harder to climb back out.

Be good to yourself. Not in the self-indulgent, narcisistic way, but in the way you would take care of your child if your child changed a clothing size.

 

[BeluvdLily]

Isn’t it funny how so many of us think the Crocs are ugly yet wear them. I thought they were hideous but wanted something to wear around the house instead of going barefoot. My back and legs hurt so much so I bought a pair.

Now I have them in black, white, blue and red. I’ve wore nothing else all summer practically. Part of it is because I’m working as a pool monitor for the neighborhood pool and they are perfect for that! Love them.

I do think it’s good for women over 40 to dress appropriate yet not matronly. I do not think they should have to cut their hair off. My mother thinks so though! lol.

As for backpacks, I think they are more of a younger look but I’m sure not bothered who carries them. They’re just not for me. I’m 41. Of course, weighing a bit more than I should, I don’t want anything emphasizing the behind! lol.

I do find the shorts with words on the behind to be the most horrid things ever. I am astounded when I see little children wearing them. It’s bad enough on the teenagers. I find these shorts obscene but I just can’t believe it when they’re on little children. It’s like a broadcast to pedophiles if you ask me.

Amie

 

[jmcrae]

One of the most beautiful women I know has pure white hair down to her waist, and she wears jeans and t-shirts with a little teeny-bopper jacket. I have no idea how old she is - past retirement age is all I know, because she hangs around the Church a lot during the day time.

She looks very happy, to me, and I think that’s why I find her beautiful.

I think people should wear whatever makes them forget what they are wearing, and who are focused on the things that make them happy.

As for me, if I can ever find a bra where the straps don’t slide down off my shoulders every two minutes, I’d be happy. (It seems as if bra straps are deliberately engineered to fall off.)

 

[Salonika]

Well I’m 56 and still wear jeans (not tight), and shoulder length hair. And yes, I get flack from relatives who think my hair is too long for my age. But guess what – I like it! Short hair never looked good on me when I was young so why would it look good on me now?. I don’t have great bone structure and the longer hair just seems to make up for what’s lacking. Plus it’s, thick and shiny.

Sometimes I think people make certain comments out of jealousy and nothing else.

I’m just a bit older and I wear jeans and most of the time I wear trousers to work because they are more comfortable.

I can recall in the 70’s when I was one of the first to wear pant suits (with tops that were dress length) to be told by people wearing mini skirts that what I was wearing was immodest. But I was the one who could bend down to the bottom of filing cabinets without showing my underwear and going up as a ladder without doing the same.)

I still have long hair - oh dermot2 how I wish my was thick and shiny like yours - but with my genetics that wasn’t likely. I keep it long because I look better with it up and don’t have to worry about it during the day.

I like to look in clothes shops that cater for teens and twenties - often ending up buying tops which I layer, This may be partly because I like bright colours and often these are harder to find in other shops. Bright colours make me look less sallow.

 

[SeekerJen]

Oh yeah, Salonika, I love bright colors. I don’t see those as being age-specific. My grandmother looked beautiful in bright reds and teals well into her 80s.

As for jeans: if they’re comfortable and you’re happy in them, who cares how old you are? Same with well-groomed long hair. One of the women in my parish choir is middle-aged and has beautiful hair that is long enough that she can sit on it- and she’s quite tall with a long torso, so her hair is reeeeally long. I can’t imagine her without it though.

 

[graceandglory]

ahh crocs. So ugly, but I never would have survived my last trimester of pregnancy without them! I’m 22 with hair to my waist and I have absolutely no intention of cutting it short even when I approach 40! I think long hair is beautiful on women of all ages.

With a name like tapiocapudding, I’ll bet you were cute as pie all preggers with your crocs on.

 

[graceandglory]

Isn’t it funny how so many of us think the Crocs are ugly yet wear them.

Yeah, I wonder what Stacy and Clint would say if they looked in all y’alls closets!

 

[Phemie]

Yeah, I wonder what Stacy and Clint would say if they looked in all y’alls closets!

Oh man, I’d give anything to have them go through mine. They’d find a dozen 10 year old plain Ts, a dozen or so Ts with logos, some dating back 12 or 13 years, cheap Walmart jeans that no longer fit, 3 eight year old Weekender skirts. The only new clothes I own are Fruit of the Looms and pantyhose. I HATE SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES! I’m 4"10 and NOTHING fits.

 

[mflaschner]

Why? Well, to make money of course! If you’re gullible enough to change your wardrobe according to the seasons, then you’ll be creating quite a bit of revenue for the fashion industry. Since those of us under 40 are already being targeted non-stop to look fashionable at every lively moment (especially in today’s world where friends can upload and tag digital pictures of us and plaster them all over the internet!!), it only seems logical to bombard the 40 and up crowd with the same stuff. It’s working for the girls I know, so why wouldn’t it work for girls over 40?!

As for backpacks - my mother is a hot mama over 40 and she wears a mini backpack to work (she’s a college professor), to the gym, walking her dog, and to the mall. It’s adorable, functional and she (and I) both find it very fashionable!

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Yeah, I wonder what Stacy and Clint would say if they looked in all y’alls closets!

I do use some of Stacy and Clint’s tips for my figure, but I don’t know if I’d take them up on their offer. I wonder if they’ve had people turn them down cold.

 

[funnyyetsavvy]

I do use some of Stacy and Clint’s tips for my figure, but I don’t know if I’d take them up on their offer. I wonder if they’ve had people turn them down cold.

Yes they have! I saw an episode where they showed a few ‘surprises’ that turned into flat out rejections…

I guess not everyone feels they need to be “made over”

 

[BlestOne]

I hope no one flames you for gaining weight while going through a miscarriage and depression. (They better not.:ehh: ) If you are a size 10 and wear tall pants, you don’t sound “huge”. But you might feel better (and less frumpy) if you had one or two well tailored items you liked that fit until you loose the weight. Then–once you loose the weight–you have clothes that proove you lost weight.

I hate feeling frumpy. Blah. Frumpiness can be a trap. If I feel “fat and frumpy” I may eat more because I’m depressed. Then I feel frumpier and may start to think “why bother?” It can keep going further downhill from there, and the further downhil the harder to climb back out.

Be good to yourself. Not in the self-indulgent, narcisistic way, but in the way you would take care of your child if your child changed a clothing size.

Thank you for this post! It really is more about how I feel than how I look but to me it is the same. I have always been tall and slender and now, well I am more average to chubby. I hate to waste money on myself and chastise myself for not watching my weight more carefully. You are right, if it were one of my kids, they would have clothes that fit them no matter why.

I think part of the attitude is affected by the depression. I made the mistake of buying some maternity clothes early in the pregnancy and a week later I miscarried. Now I just don’t want to buy clothes period! I also don’t want to admit at 45 yo that I might just be gaining weight… sort of the mid life spread thing.

I meant to state in my first post that while I don’t have crocs, I try them on every time I see them and I have a backpack style purse in black leather. Honestly, I thought I would like the purse more than I do. The way the straps are attached makes it impossible to grab and run from my car to the office if I haven’t closed it all up tight.

Stacy and Clint would have a hay-day in my closet because up until this past year I have been able to fit in the same clothes I wore in junior and senior high school… and some of my clothes are that old! I have never ever replaced clothes because I didn’t fit them anymore… which makes this a huge blow to my ego too.

 

[dorisbonkers]

Adults shouldn’t wear Crocs full stop. On the grounds of taste. Unless one works in the catering or gardening industry I can see no reason to wear such a ludicrous shoe. The same goes for Uggs.

Sure, if you want to dress like a little kid, go ahead

And I’d certainly never tell anyone what to wear.

 

[Phemie]

Adults shouldn’t wear Crocs full stop. On the grounds of taste. Unless one works in the catering or gardening industry I can see no reason to wear such a ludicrous shoe. The same goes for Uggs.

Sure, if you want to dress like a little kid, go ahead

And I’d certainly never tell anyone what to wear.

Long before I’d heard of “Crocs” I knew Lee Valley Tools’ gardening shoes. Same product without a fancy logo, meant to be worn while gardening.

I think the original Crocs are the silliest looking footwear I’ve ever seen anyone don but they’re so darned comfortable that I’ll forgo style for the comfort they provide any day.

It’s now possible to have comfort and style. My friend is wearing a pair of Crocs for her daughter’s wedding next month. They are black and white wedgies that look fabulous. In a month of Sundays you’d never guess the brand.

 

[Joannm]

I Yet much of the modestwear makes a heavier woman look frumpy! I’m a size 12-14 (used to be lots bigger), and I find that when you are larger, modest clothing doesn’t do much for you.

How does one dress modestly without looking frumpy? Any recommendations?

I don’t think a size 12-14 is large. I think that is probably average today. i guess it depends on your height. They also make some very nice clothing in large sizes. Dress Barn has a very nice selection of larger clothes that are not expensive and very fashionable.

I think a lot has to do with the cut of the clothes and the material. I could wear a mid calf solid color skirt made of broadcloth or I could wear a mid calf floral or abstract print made is layers of a lighter fabric that is cut on the bias and has some move to it. I think the latter is more fashionable although just as modest. I could wear a long sleave man taliored shirt topped with a long heavy sweater or I could wear a cammie under lower cut sweater with three quater sleeves and top it with a short jacket. Again both serve the same modesty issues but the latter is more fashionable. This works for larger sizes as well as smaller sizes.

I am over 50 and I do think some older women look kind of stupid trying to look like they are 20. I think the article was more about making fashion statements than comfort. I don’t like to wear crocs except when gardening and when I am at school during the summer (as I am now) I do carry a backpack since it better than carring the books on one shoulder in a book bag. I have seen some of the older students using those wheel book bags but I don’t think I want to be dragging that thing around campus all day.

 

[Ghoti]

Isn’t it funny how so many of us think the Crocs are ugly yet wear them. I thought they were hideous but wanted something to wear around the house instead of going barefoot. My back and legs hurt so much so I bought a pair.

Now I have them in black, white, blue and red. I’ve wore nothing else all summer practically. Part of it is because I’m working as a pool monitor for the neighborhood pool and they are perfect for that! Love them.

I do think it’s good for women over 40 to dress appropriate yet not matronly. I do not think they should have to cut their hair off. My mother thinks so though! lol.

As for backpacks, I think they are more of a younger look but I’m sure not bothered who carries them. They’re just not for me. I’m 41. Of course, weighing a bit more than I should, I don’t want anything emphasizing the behind! lol.

I do find the shorts with words on the behind to be the most horrid things ever. I am astounded when I see little children wearing them. It’s bad enough on the teenagers. I find these shorts obscene but I just can’t believe it when they’re on little children. It’s like a broadcast to pedophiles if you ask me.

Amie

My Donna carries a backpack: she just turned 40. I carry one as well, I’m 43. How else are you supposed to carry stuff when you don’t have a car and have to ride 45 minutes on public transit to get to work?

I’ve seen folks older than me wearing backpacks. On some, it would look inappropriate. Like anyone in the ankle-nylons rain-hat blue-rinse set. But there are some men and women who just look older, but not old.

As for women cutting their hair: I have never understood why some women go all butch when they hit 40. But do it for your own reasons, not because someone told you you must.

Seems to me that some people update their wardrobe and remain trendy for a while, then update again, etc. The older they get, the further apart the updates get. Which is why I still see beehive hairdos, sleeveless sack dresses, and cat’s-eye glasses on some older women. Back in the seventies, I saw lots of older women with bobbed hair, fur stoles, and bowler hats with feathers. And now I’m seeing the generation of women with big hair, fringed jackets, and acid-wash jeans. I shudder for future generations.

Can you imagine a 60-year-old emo chick?