Temporary contraception use after surgery

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0507 said:
The Church teaches that contraception is allowed in cases of rape. Yet abortion is not.
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Source?

But even if you can back that up, this is a different thing. In the case of rape, there was no sex. The act of contracepting does not frustrate the marital act because the act was not the marital act.

We’re talking in this thread about the use of contraception in advance of sex for the express purpose of frustrating the procreative end.
 
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0507 said:
To the extent that the Pope’s Zika Virus comments make sense
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The Pope was not speaking from the “Chair of Peter”, he was expressing an opinion. Popes have to be so careful because sometimes every off the cuff comment is taken as dogma.

If you were in terror of a disease, that terror might lessen the culpability of the sin of contraception.

You seem to be a person who has a rational, clear mind. That you have the knowledge and free will to choose to violate the teaching of Holy Mother Church for 8 weeks. Do you intend to confess the sin after? That can be the sin of presumption.
 
That link I gave you is a searchable copy of the Catechism. Will you show me that teaching?
 
HomeschoolDad said:
Mr Gregory was asking if they would be able to give up smoking if they knew that the next cigarette would turn them into a black person
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Um, maybe this was funny when you first heard it since you say a comedian said it, but please know the humor isn’t carrying over to the written word here at all. I have asthma so I wouldn’t smoke anyway. But if God turned me (as white as the moon!) into a person with any different colored skin tomorrow that would be fine. Bring on some gorgeous ethnic complexion and features!
 
TheLittleLady said:
The Pope was not speaking from the “Chair of Peter”, he was expressing an opinion. Popes have to be so careful because sometimes every off the cuff comment is taken as dogma
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This. :roll_eyes:

The Pope can’t give someone permission to break God’s law. Sadly we can’t just assume every pope’s every comment is orthodox.
 
If I had already made up my mind I wouldn’t be here.
 
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0507 said:
If I had already made up my mind I wouldn’t be here. But I didn’t expect a forum for Catholic to be dominated roughly 50% by cheap moralisers telling you how terrible a person you are after you share something about your personal life. It’s actually pretty disgusting.
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Who has called you a terrible person?
 
So if there’s a danger to your wife’s health, and there’s no problem with YOU abstaining, then perhaps it’s your wife who should be asking the question on here, not yourself. However, it’s you on here asking. You are tying our hands here by saying your wife isn’t Catholic, your wife doesn’t want to abstain. But she’s not the one on here asking.

The final answer is that a non-Catholic spouse cannot ‘make you’ use a condom. That will be your decision and it’s on you. No one can give you a pass on this.

If it’s dangerous to get pregnant, then you abstain. Period.
If you make a different decision, you live with the consequences.
 
0507 said:
The Church teaches that contraception is allowed in cases of rape.
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The Church does not TEACH this. In spite the fact that some people TALKED about it. These “dialogues” don’t constitute Church teaching. But they sure muddy the waters don’t they? 😭
 
0507 said:
For two months after the surgery the doctors say that it would be dangerous if she got pregnant again. It could seriously harm her health and her fertility and could put the baby at risk. They advised us to use contraception temporarily.
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This would be a situation that calls for abstinence.

Contraception is always immoral.
0507 said:
and I think it is reasonable if we use condoms for the next two months.
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Nope. Please continue to form your conscience and ignore this Zika virus nonsense.

You were on the right track before you confused yourself.
 
Search ‘Catholics and Acceptable Uses of Contraception’ by Fr Pacholczyk.

What this shows is that the act of contracepting is not intrinsically evil. In fact, it is the results of contraception that are evil - i.e. the divorcing of sex from procreation.

That complicates the matter, as the Pope’s comments suggest (you can also find statements from Benedikt).
 
0507 said:
Search ‘Catholics and Acceptable Uses of Contraception’ by Fr Pacholczyk.

What this shows is that the act of contracepting is not intrinsically evil. In fact, it is the results of contraception that are evil - i.e. the divorcing of sex from procreation.

That complicates the matter, as the Pope’s comments suggest (you can also find statements from Benedikt).
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I’ll trust Humanae Vitae over that.

The act of deliberately sterilizing sex is intrinsically evil, whether it is done mechanically, chemically, or surgically.
 
0507 said:
The Church fears that people will become habituated to contraception. That is why they teach against it. But that is not going to happen with us.
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I have never seen anything anywhere indicating that the only reason you can’t sin in ANY way is because “it could become a habit.” Non-habitual sin cannot be allowed! Come on now. Sin wounds Jesus. Why would it be kosher to wound him occasionally as long as we don’t make a habit of it??! May I stab you occasionally? Slash your tires occasionally? Of course not! And mortal sin is called “mortal” because it’s worse than that. I promise I’m not trying to be a grump here. I had a complication and needed to abstain for six months once. Fun? Nope. But does it allow sin? No, it really doesn’t. We have control ourselves. We can live without sex. We can bond without sex. We can offer up the pain as a couple for the sanctification of our spouse - a very unitive thing to do, in fact!!
 
There are married people on this thread. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it sounds like unless you hear the answer “yes it’s ok to use contraception in your case”, you’re going to accuse people of not getting it…
If your spouse isn’t on board, it can be very tough. Living a Catholic life can be very tough. Picking up our cross can be very tough. I have a non-Catholic spouse who pressures me to engage in illicit, sinful sexual activity because she’s not on board with NFP and Catholic teaching on the matter. It’s tough, I’ve fallen into sin many times, and and it can seem like an overwhelming burden… but it doesn’t excuse my sin.
All that aside, contraception is not 100% effective. Your wife’s life and the life of a potential baby are at risk. Does she really want to risk it? Ask her that.

You should also speak with a priest.
 
0507 said:
The question is not whether we CAN abstain, but whether we SHOULD abstain.
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Yes, you should abstain. it is the best course of action.
It is best for your wife’s well being. It will strengthen your marriage, and it will make sex better because it will be intentional and integrated with all the other virtues you are asked to develop.

Sexual morality and all of morality is not aimed at deprivation, it is aimed at goodness. By the practice of virtue your married life will grow stronger, more vibrant, and more intense. Your objections are focused on the prohibitive part of morality. Focus on the good that God has promised the two of you and pursue it.
It is worth it, because you are married for life and many other challenges and joys will come along. You want to fully participate in those, and the practice of virtue will open that up for you.
Trust me on this. I’ve been married for 30 years and I thought at one time that denial of sex was the end of the world. It was not, and I learned that the hard way. Life goes on.
After developing some discipline together our marriage began to grown in ways that I never imagined. And yes, good holy sex became better holier sex…in the right context.
 
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0507 said:
I agree with Church teaching that contraception is disordered because it leads people - and society at large - to treat each other as sexual commodities. But Church teaching states that in marriage sex has a procreative and a unitive function
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That isn’t the “why” of it. The"why" is because God commands it. These are deductions we can make as human beings as to what may be some of the reasons behind it.

Why are you getting upset that people say to abstain rather than contracept? It has been answered that you should abstain and you seem to be resistant to that advice, even though you asked for it.
0507 said:
My wife and I have no wish to deny the procreative function of sex. Ours is a special case. After two months we will not use it again. The Church fears that people will become habituated to contraception. That is why they teach against it. But that is not going to happen with us
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What makes it so special that abstinence is not an option? The church is not concerned with habituation. The concern is that contraception is a sin. Every time. The church wants you to go to heaven and contraception is a means of preventing that.
0507 said:
To the extent that the Pope’s Zika Virus comments make sense, it is insofar as they are saying this. I.e. that contraception is not, say, equivalent to abortion because the Church is concerned not so much about the act but rather the effects.
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The Zika comment makes no sense. That said, you aren’t a carrier of the virus. You misunderstand the intent of the church. She is trying to keep your soul pure. The act of contraception is the problem. The effects are the result of the sin. They aren’t the sin itself.
 
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A book written by a priest, even the most brilliant priest or Pope, does not somehow override the truth that is presented to us in the official doctrines of the Church.

@twf wrote about the difficulties in a mixed marriage. Sometimes in marriage prep we have the idea that “we love each other so we can overcome any differences”. After the wedding, when the hard stuff happens, there is often unexpected struggle because you are not on the same page as your spouse.

Go back to when you guys talked in your marriage prep about Contraception. Remember how back then you both knew you could overcome these difficulties. If your wife chooses to contracept, that is her decision as an adult.
 
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