Tension from my spiritual group

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I would recommend looking into the Legion of Mary. I think that just about every parish has one or more groups that meet every week. It is very similar to the Lay Dominicans, and is a great way to grow in spirituality.
 
I think there are millions of people out there who want to control others for their own benefit. They will use religion, money, family obligations, sex, etc. etc. It is a more negative human instinct, but it is very real.

Learn to walk away from stuff that doesn’t matter and be just happy. I kind of see it as a life skill.

Church groups can be wonderful, but they tend to start getting weird after a year or so. Sometimes it is best to find a new one now and again.
 
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The key word you used there is addicted. That’s enough of a warning sign to show you it isn’t a healthy influence. As religious people especially we have to be on guard against superstition and abuse of power, because faith is belief on authority, which makes us vulnerable when we place that authority in any person. Check what they’re teaching you against the teachings of the church so you have some objective standard to measure them by. This is a kind of thing that can seriously damage people’s faith and makes them leave the church entirely. It’s hard to leave people though, that’s the issue in any group.
 
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Curious Cath,

To be to the point quickly–LEAVE. It will be hard, and I would advise counseling, but you must.

Just a few weeks ago, I was searching here on CAF for posts on the NCW. You can find some, although they are a few years old.

These talks began at our parish a couple years ago, and my husband and I went. We were eager, as our parish is teeny tiny, and there wasn’t much for us to participate in. We didn’t really get anything out of the talks, but kept going for the weeks, because we kept thinking something good would come up. Meh. We could not go to the weekend retreat, and it was very short notice. There were others who could not go either, and there was a lot of pressure to go–to the catechists there was nothing more important than going to that weekend. My husband and I were very turned off by the pressure, most especially toward one of the ladies in our parish. She kept saying her niece was getting married that weekend. That didn’t matter to them. My husband finally talked to her, because she was feeling guilted into going.

After the weekend, there was the meeting once a week–we figured we would try that because it wasn’t the “catechist” running it. We went once, that wasn’t our cup of tea either. So that was that.

Until two months ago.

Our daughter is being confirmed soon, and the priest decided that part of their faith formation was going to the talks and the retreat. So we took out daughter to the talks, didn’t love it (the attitude of the talks and lead catechist is pretty negative, also somewhat condescending, other things he said didn’t ring true to the attitude of Catholicism).

We were just going to get through the weeks, and be done. More things started to bother me, and I started looking up more on the Neo Way. I couldn’t believe how much I read was what I saw in the catechists, the talks and the attitude of it.

Then the retreat. I took my daughter Friday night, went home late, discussed with my husband, and we decided we weren’t taking her back to the retreat. I couldn’t stand for her to listen to all that negativity and questionable theology for a whole weekend.

I really hope you leave. One poster said you knew what you were getting into when you joined. You did not. They don’t tell you things ahead of time. Guilt is a big part of things. And dependence. It is very strange how the group is encouraged to go to mass apart from the rest of the parish every week. And to place the Way ahead of everything else, even their family and children, which I saw too.

Here is one website I looked at when I was looking for more info when things really didn’t seem right. I could see a lot of it in the little we went to. It is a lot of information on the site, but if you click on any of the parts to read on, you will probably relate, and especially read the comments below each article. So much of what you said, I have read in other articles.

A Critical Look at the Neocatechumenal Way - The Thoughtful Catholic

Some Neocatechumenal Catechetical Directories ("Mamotretos") Cult or Sect? Are we dealing with a cult? - Thirteen signs of a cult-like organization. Charting the Cult-Like Nature of the Way - If we are ever to convince influential and possibly compromised churchmen that the Neocatechumenal Way...
thoughtfulcatholic.com

I could write more, but I have run on enough.

Get out, and take care of yourself. You will need to recover.
 
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coopnann said:
It is very strange how the group is encouraged to go to mass apart from the rest of the parish every week.
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This looks like a splinter group that divides the parish community. I heard they are criss-crossing among the parishes and hiding in social halls for mass. The time and place of their celebrations are kept in secret. You cannot find them in the parish bulletin either. All this secrecy shows that NCW is very much Gnostic by its nature.
 
Well, it’s difficult to say from what you’ve written here cos any response would be subjective about subjective if that makes sense. I’ve never heard of that acronym so have no knowledge of it myself and dont know you either on top of things. I’d say in your prayers ask Jesus for the answer, sometimes our pride keeps us from wanting to change and God has to give us some pretty strong nudges in that direction if we resist the softer ones. It does sound like they are being harsh but there is no way to know, but if you think they are great except for a few areas, you resistance may come from inside. I’d speak to your priest about it if I were you. If there is any diabolical influence, he is best to advise you, than us to be honest anyway and if not and it is a human problem, then that advice stands too. You can if you feel more comfortable merely say a spiritual group and omit the name if you want to keep people he may know out of it. But I strongly suggest your parish priest as a confidante in this matter, God bless.
 
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Without more knowledge, I would not want to blame all of NCW, but rather consider that your local group has taken on a cult-like atmosphere. I experienced the same in a local Opus Dei group–I was never a member, officially, but for a time enjoyed and benefited from their talks and retreats. What I experienced in terms of the recruitment techniques and guilt-inducing, however, was enough to make me take a wide berth around any such insular groups. As others have stated here, you need to simply stop hanging with this group. You don’t need them and God may well be giving you a warning, as He often does when we start to feel such discomfort. At least separate yourself for a time and pray for direction.
 
Here-I-am-Lord said:
Those people don’t have any clue of what persecution truly means
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There is real persecution against the Way sometimes, because we show no resistance.
Here-I-am-Lord said:
God does not punish to protect special interest. He punishes those who abuse the name of His Son. Jesus Christ
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I hold fast to the Name even if occasionally this causes conflict for me in my community.
njlisa said:
I briefly belonged to a cult-like Protestant church when I was in my teens.
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I have always felt I was safe in the Catholic Church, because we have a hierarchy that takes care of the validity of faith instruction. I have never thought abuse was possible when priests are accountable and responsible to bishops, bishops to cardinals, cardinals to the Pope of Rome. In the NCW we have a distinct hierarchy of catechists with overwhelming power over community life. Their power and influence is completely unvisible to outsiders.
MikeInVA said:
I would recommend looking into the Legion of Mary.
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I hope it is transparent group with no hidden agenda.
jack63 said:
Church groups can be wonderful, but they tend to start getting weird after a year or so.
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For me it was 6 years when I started to have conflicts. Both inside me and outside with the brothers who slavishly follow every word of another lay person who has no discernible status whatsoever in the church.
Neithan said:
The key word you used there is addicted . That’s enough of a warning sign to show you it isn’t a healthy influence.
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Well, I have used the word before oretty lightly, but now I see it goes much deeper than I previously thought. Thanks for pointing this out. I’ll contemplate its meaning.
coopnann said:
It will be hard, and I would advise counseling, but you must.
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Oh, you have no idea how hard it is! I got accustomed to sharing my life events with my community, even with my catechists. Now I see that their appvoval means a lot to me. We are all in the same shoes. We used to share before the consecration of the bread and wine during Eucharist celebration. This is an extremely good time to talk about what the Word inspired in you about your own life. I always feel like Jesus is listening to me, even if I talk about personal matters.
 
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Here-I-am-Lord said:
All this secrecy shows that NCW is very much Gnostic by its nature.
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I don’t know what Gnostic means. Our catechists tell us we don’t need to be smart, just follow the Lord.
Bluebright said:
It does sound like they are being harsh but there is no way to know, but if you think they are great except for a few areas, you resistance may come from inside.
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I often feel the same way. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I use my personal issues for disobedience. I pray and pray and then peace takes over and I want to stay in that state of grace forever.
Limoncello4021 said:
consider that your local group has taken on a cult-like atmosphere.
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I believe Neocatechumenal Way has tremendous potential. It is a great way to live by faith. This local skirmish that I might exaggerate, should not make me cut off from the grace of the Lord.
 
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I don’t know anything about this group, but as an outsider reading your post and your quote:
curious_cath said:
If I would take any action by talking to the parish priest or the bishop, the catechists would tell I persecute the Way.
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This would be a red flag for me, that a priest or bishop would be seen as a potential threat. If anything, they should be seen as Father’s in Christ and able to offer guidance in all matters especially spiritual. So the fact that they are seeing anyone outside the group as threatening especially a priest maybe this is a starting point to help you see things and get out. Sounds like the leader has become power hungry.
 
curious_cath said:
We used to share before the consecration of the bread and wine during Eucharist celebration. This is an extremely good time to talk about what the Word inspired in you about your own life.
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What? Are you “sharing” your life events during Sunday mass with the whole congregation? What kind of mass is that? I have never heard anything like this in the Catholic Church! Are you sure there is a cross on the top of the building you enter every Sunday? :roll_eyes:

It is true that sometimes, very rarely, we hear testimonies in my church, but it is never before communion! I am getting more and more puzzled of your NCW group. Why do you do this?
 
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debgab said:
So the fact that they are seeing anyone outside the group as threatening especially a priest maybe this is a starting point to help you see things and get out.
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Yes, this is absolutely a red flag. But what would you say when your catechists are whispering in the dark against the rightfully appointed church authority who might be the bishop? What if they fake loyalty to him, while they are, in fact, trying to undercut his authority in every possible manner? These are the same people who dictate to my community and hold insane power over its members. Then I look around and I say, yes it is my community. What can I do?
Here-I-am-Lord said:
I am getting more and more puzzled of your NCW group. Why do you do this?
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We feel that the Saturday celebration of the Eucharist brings us closer to God. When we give testimonies before communion, we react to the Word of God we just heard in a very special way. This directly connects our daily lives to God. We are all living on the open palm of God. It is a wonderful, liberating feeling to talk about the most important things of our daily lives during mass, that we call Eucharist. Priests tolerate this because they see the Spirit at work. Yes, that is why we do it.
 
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It sounds like a good idea the whole thing but it also sounds it’s gotten way out of hand for whatever reason.
But is the “Spirit at work” the right spirit? we are suppose to discern the spirits (my understanding).
I don’t know, but I think you should trust your “gut” on this one. It doesn’t seem right.
You shouldn’t feel the tension you say you feel.
Debbie
 
curious_cath said:
There is real persecution against the Way sometimes, because we show no resistance.
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Does The Way face loss of job, home, freedom because they are The Way, do they have real danger of prison or death? If not, they are not persecuted.

People saying mean things or not allowing this group to operate in a parish is not persecution.
 
It is called hyperbole, or a figure of speech to underscore a point.
 
Curious_Cath you sound very conflicted, on the one hand defending NCW’s tactics and on the other frustrated by them. Only you can make the decision whether to stay or leave. Do keep in mind that there’s a larger Catholic Church out there and no one is making you stick with NCW. To me they sound very dicey and I’d stop attending in a heartbeat.
 
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