Amen. Ultimately it doesn’t matter who made the coarse joke. His behavior is still totally unacceptable. The sooner you get free of him, the sooner you can be free to find a decent man who will treat you like a queen. And I really hope you do find a wonderful guy in the future.Men like that disgust me.
I’ve seen it so many times with lady friends of mine dating complete sickos like that. Unfortunately, no amount of “break up with him” … “he’s no good for you” … “he’s a player”… will get them to see the light. They’ve all had to learn the hard way, and figure it out for themselves after it’d been staring them in the face for years.
Don’t be that woman. Don’t put up with that.
Good luck, and God bless. I hope you find a great man someday.
Right.Amen. Ultimately it doesn’t matter who made the coarse joke. His behavior is still totally unacceptable. The sooner you get free of him, the sooner you can be free to find a decent man who will treat you like a queen. And I really hope you do find a wonderful guy in the future.
Well, while you don’t have a right to ask him to show you his phone, you have a right to express your concern with his feeling the need to hide the screen. It’s fine not to wish to be in a relationship with someone whose sense of privacy doesn’t match yours.I really appreciate all this feedback. Honestly I realize I shouldn’t have searched thru his phone but I had seen him turning the angle of it at times when he was texting in the past a f it made me suspicious.
Sounds suspicious, true. Also, wait, I’ve got to apologise if you did say it was SHE who made a joke about HIS vagina. Obviously that makes difference and he can’t be held accountable for anything she said. (Only for the manner in which he reacted or didn’t react or maybe, just maybe, contributed to it happening.)As for the bad language,. I will reiterate she said SHE could see his vagi&na as a joke to HIM. At least that’s his story…, and it makes sense because the text followered him asking a very “girlie” question about his hair.
People are weird. Feminists are weird. They put titles like “vagina monologue” on books. For some people it may be like talking about medicine. And many of us have fully cited the “v word” in this conversation too. Maybe there’s a reason for that lowered level of sensitity displayed there. Still looks odd. I’d probably run and I’ve got a Master’s in the benefit of the doubt.It just all seemed very fishy to me. He has proclaimed over and over again that there’s nothing there… And she’s engaged., but I just can’t ever imagine myself saying something like that EVER to my boss.
Eerr… sorry, I can’t figure out that sentence!He says all he talks about is “me” to her and his “into this” he is…
Now that is something you shouldn’t fret about, I think. Somebody may wish to correct me since I have a personal stake here, myself being a private person about such things and slow to introduce or wish to be introduced.He has 3 children BTW that he still hasn’t introduced me to … Which I respect. But he has insinuated that he’d introduce me … But hasn’t yet.
Her quote: “He says all he talks about is “me” to her and his “into this” he is…”Eerr… sorry, I can’t figure out that sentence!
Actually, possibly because of all the trouble you mention. The trouble can be making you want to help him and perhaps motherhen him a bit. Or it can be making you mistake pity for love. Or the risk and danger associated with him can be giving you a thrill (much like a femme fatale works on men). There can be some forbidden fruit aspect to it. Or even investment syndrome (lack of ability to quit after you’ve invested so much or cast your hopes). Also, there is a kind of people who draw both trouble and the interest of the opposite sex.Yes that’s right he tried to say that all he does is brag about our relationship to his secretary.
Also… He is having trouble with his job lately and I have had to pay for a lot of our dated recently. He apologizes but he still is broke.
Big house. Big alimony. Big child support.
Why… Oh why,. Do I like him SO much?
You like him because he wants you to like him and so acts in a likeable way, pure and simple.Yes that’s right he tried to say that all he does is brag about our relationship to his secretary.
Also… He is having trouble with his job lately and I have had to pay for a lot of our dated recently. He apologizes but he still is broke.
Big house. Big alimony. Big child support.
Why… Oh why,. Do I like him SO much?
If he is correct then her behaviour shows a total lack of respect for him, for you, for her fiance.Yes that’s right he tried to say that all he does is brag about our relationship to his secretary.
Also… He is having trouble with his job lately and I have had to pay for a lot of our dated recently. He apologizes but he still is broke.
Big house. Big alimony. Big child support.
Why… Oh why,. Do I like him SO much?
I’m so sorry. I wish you could see that he’s using you. You deserve much better.It’s hard because we truly do have a lot in common. But I had met him on an online dating site… Many months ago. Well it turns out he got an email from one of the women he used to talk with… Asking if he was availalbe. He said he wasn’t. She said… Okay. Good luck. He THEN responded with… Well just in case my current relationship doesn’t work out., send me a pic. She did. And he said “nice pic… Maybe our paths will cross again”.
She just told me that tonight. I’m crushed. I’m happy he didn’t cheat. But it’s obvious he’s still looking (sort of). All as “I” pay for our dates. Ugh.
…Only if you let it.All as “I” pay for our dates. Ugh.
Sounds like he is planning to go with whoever catches his eye at the moment. That attitude is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Time to eject before he takes you crashing down with him.It’s hard because we truly do have a lot in common. But I had met him on an online dating site… Many months ago. Well it turns out he got an email from one of the women he used to talk with… Asking if he was availalbe. He said he wasn’t. She said… Okay. Good luck. He THEN responded with… Well just in case my current relationship doesn’t work out., send me a pic. She did. And he said “nice pic… Maybe our paths will cross again”.
She just told me that tonight. I’m crushed. I’m happy he didn’t cheat. But it’s obvious he’s still looking (sort of). All as “I” pay for our dates. Ugh.
I see this relationship as being in crash and burn mode. She needs to eject wearing a helmet and earplugs. He will sweet talk her until the end.Sounds like he is planning to go with whoever catches his eye at the moment. That attitude is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Time to eject before he takes you crashing down with him.
It’s interesting the way people see this issue. For non-married people, which is the case for the topic under discussion, I would agree. But for the married, I would disagree. Spouses should be completely free and open with everything in lives.Once you realized it wasn’t your Blackberry,(which shouldn’t have taken long), you should have put it down. Period!!
Anything after that is a violation of trust and privacy.
Also, checking up on him with coworkers is also very questionable behavior.
You snooped, and you got what you had coming.
I hope it was all just a set up to see how “trustworthy” you were. Which at this point appears you are not.
Just sayin
That is **your **phone. Not all phones are that way. The settings can be adjusted.New messages show up on the front screen of my phone even when it is locked. Meaning anyone in the vicinity can see them without physically picking up the phone or scrolling through them.
What kind of numbskull would text such things to his secretary at ANY time? For ANY reason? No justification ever. A test? So presumably his secretary knows that she is being subjected to filthy comments as part of some sick ‘test’ of her boss’s girlfriend’s loyalty?
Who pulls idiotic stunts like that anyway? Who puts human beings through that sort of misery and horror as a ‘test’? No halfway decent person, for sure.
Read it again.Making comments about being able to see a woman’s genitalia is funny? Uh, no. Not in any universe, not in any context.
Completely and utterly inappropriate in a work context.
Almost certainly a breach of his company policy assuming he isn’t his own boss.
At least it betrays a huge lack of both judgement and decorum, not to mention respect for you and your feelings, regardless of whether it was intended seriously or not or the exchange was two-sided or not.
I would avoid this man like the plague. He is old enough to know far better.
Read the post again.New messages show up on the front screen of my phone even when it is locked. Meaning anyone in the vicinity can see them without physically picking up the phone or scrolling through them.
What kind of numbskull would text such things to his secretary at ANY time? For ANY reason? No justification ever. A test? So presumably his secretary knows that she is being subjected to filthy comments as part of some sick ‘test’ of her boss’s girlfriend’s loyalty?
Who pulls idiotic stunts like that anyway? Who puts human beings through that sort of misery and horror as a ‘test’? No halfway decent person, for sure.