The Duggars Respond to Reports That Josh Duggar Was Accused of Child Molestation

[Suudy]

Never said I did. “Shoulds” and “dids” are two different discussions.

Ok. Since the victims apparently are at peace, perhaps we should take them at their word that things are over for them. There’s nothing to suggest.

Personally, no, collectively, yes. As above, laws and the justice system is our collective attempt at justice. But it is not to be confused with justice. Sometimes it’s the bare minimum. We should always advocate proper redress, whatever that is,

Again, the point is that what is the goal of “proper redress”? Whatever action was taken appears to have achieved the intended end of rehabilitation and restitution. JD hasn’t repeated his crimes and his victims have found peace. What further actions is necessary?

Perhaps there isn’t. Like I said, I think he should submit to a comprehensive, independent eval.

It seems you aren’t satisfied. Despite there being zero evidence that he’s not reformed, you want evidence that he has been reformed. Sounds like proving he’s innocent, rather than proving him guilty.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

With regard to JD’s victims, nobody has suggested that they “snap out of it.” In fact, it is the opposite. Some are saying it is impossible for the victims to have moved on. Apparently for some, the victim’s statements about forgiveness and moving on isn’t something to be believed. And nobody has called for anything but compassion for the victims.

Some people said they were Josh’s ally, and that victims should just pick up their cross and be humble.
Not very compassionate.

It is hard to believe these victims statements because their parents have TOTAL control over their lives. They even swept this deplorable thing under the rug, you can’t possibly care for your daughters if you allow your son to do such a thing and just “let it go.”

 

[NSFrame]

Obviously the things Josh did were extremely wrong. However, I have a problem with labeling him a molester or pedophile because of the following:

1. His age and circumstances at the time he did this - he had been very insulated from the rest of the world, he had no buddies his age to relate to and talk about girls with the way normal kids get to, no magazines or movies, he had little ability to even talk to his female peers - all of these difficult and unusual circumstances at an age where your hormones are new and overwhelming. Also he was the oldest and likely had a ton of pressure from his parents to be perfect.
2. It seems he has admitted wrongdoing fully and there is no indication he is a repeat offender.

My big question is - and this is not rhetorical, I truly wonder this - what do you do when your 14-year-old son is molesting girls? Do you kick him out of the house? Turn him over to the cops? Seek intensive counseling? What should Mr and Mrs Duggar have done? (obviously they did not do enough but it seems like they at least did some of each of these)

 

[masondoggy]

I believe in my state there are no SOL for sex crimes, but at the same time, when a juvenile becomes of age, his record is sealed.

My husband was a victim of armed robbery a number of years ago, and the kid who did it had is record sealed at 21.

Juvenile crime is really an area that is not treated well. I feel the goal should be rehabilitation for juveniles in general, but often there are not enough resources. The goal should be to rehabilitate a 13-14 year old. Here it seems it was brushed under the rug.

I tend to agree. I don’t think incarceration would’ve done very much good for Josh at the time. He needed intensive therapy with a qualified professional to have any chance or hope of recovering from this. He never received any of that so I highly doubt he’s “safe” around kids right now. Including his own.

There was one one girl who was not a part of the family who was molested. This is for all posters, How would you respond to the situation if that was your child, would you be fine with letting the family and/or church deal with it?

Do you think maybe this could be the family who has been sending the anonymous tips over the years? Who else could know since their church is so insular?

IDK, but just to be clear, it wasn’t cousin Amy. Her boyfriend just posted a comment today making it clear that it wasn’t her.

I doubt whoever it was would report it because it would tarnish her “reputation” and harm her chances to get a husband. That’s how things roll in that culture.

 

[EmeraldOak]

Another case in point why I do not allow sleepovers for my 3 children. This just affirms my thoughts that you never know what goes on in seemingly good families behind closed doors.

Also, when I was a little girl (6 to 8 year old range) I was touched in my genital area by an older boy cousin while I was sleeping. It woke me up but I pretended like I was still asleep because I was scared and confused. I never told ANYONE. No telling how many girls he did this to that just didn’t want to admit it. I’m 37 and still shudder and get cold when I think about it. Those sisters will always remember him for that like I remember my cousin. The times spent riding bikes and popping fireworks are nothing to me, “that” always comes to mind. Sad for the girls. My sympathy for him is limited.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Obviously the things Josh did were extremely wrong. However, I have a problem with labeling him a molester or pedophile because of the following:

1. His age and circumstances at the time he did this - he had been very insulated from the rest of the world, he had no buddies his age to relate to and talk about girls with the way normal kids get to, no magazines or movies, he had little ability to even talk to his female peers - all of these difficult and unusual circumstances at an age where your hormones are new and overwhelming. Also he was the oldest and likely had a ton of pressure from his parents to be perfect.
2. It seems he has admitted wrongdoing fully and there is no indication he is a repeat offender.

My big question is - and this is not rhetorical, I truly wonder this - what do you do when your 14-year-old son is molesting girls? Do you kick him out of the house? Turn him over to the cops? Seek intensive counseling? What should Mr and Mrs Duggar have done? (obviously they did not do enough but it seems like they at least did some of each of these)

You turn him over to the police. The judge could decide that he needs counseling or what not.

 

[Suudy]

It is hard to believe these victims statements because their parents have TOTAL control over their lives. They even swept this deplorable thing under the rug, you can’t possibly care for your daughters if you allow your son to do such a thing and just “let it go.”

I think it presumptuous and uncharitable to suggest that the Duggars are liars and they “can’t possibly care for [their] daughters.” You don’t know their minds or hearts.

 

[masondoggy]

Obviously the things Josh did were extremely wrong. However, I have a problem with labeling him a molester or pedophile because of the following:

1. His age and circumstances at the time he did this - he had been very insulated from the rest of the world, he had no buddies his age to relate to and talk about girls with the way normal kids get to, no magazines or movies, he had little ability to even talk to his female peers - all of these difficult and unusual circumstances at an age where your hormones are new and overwhelming. Also he was the oldest and likely had a ton of pressure from his parents to be perfect.
2. It seems he has admitted wrongdoing fully and there is no indication he is a repeat offender.

My big question is - and this is not rhetorical, I truly wonder this - what do you do when your 14-year-old son is molesting girls? Do you kick him out of the house? Turn him over to the cops? Seek intensive counseling? What should Mr and Mrs Duggar have done? (obviously they did not do enough but it seems like they at least did some of each of these)

Well he may not be officially a pedophile, but he IS a molester. That’s what he did. He molested small children. His age at the time has nothing to do with it.

His background was most definitely screwed up. I strongly suspect he was a victim himself. There is a ton of sexual abuse that goes on in those circles, the leader himself has been accused of abusing countless girls…and the Duggars are close friends with this guy.

The facts tell us that Josh Duggar grew up in a culture where child sexual abuse was rampant and essentially swept under the rug and quietly accepted. Chances are very high that he was either exposed to it personally or was a victim to it. It’s really not all that surprising that he did this, imo.

If it were ME, my son would be put into intensive professional therapy the minute I learned about what he did and I would do everything in my power to keep him away from his victims, even if they were his siblings. If that meant him having to move in with grandparents or an aunt/uncle, so be it. My first priority would be protecting my daughters and giving them every opportunity to heal.

Would I go to the police and turn him in? I can’t answer that. Lord help me if I’m ever in that situation to do the right thing. I just don’t know. But I DO know that I would get that boy some professional help. Something the Duggars did not do. They thought a work camp with an unlicensed “mentor” and some prayer would make the problem go away and cure him. They were naive and WRONG.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I think it presumptuous and uncharitable to suggest that the Duggars are liars and they “can’t possibly care for [their] daughters.” You don’t know their minds or hearts.

I call it like I see it. How can a parent be ok with a sex abuser around their children? That isn’t good judgment, at all. People lie all the time, what makes these people any different? Is it because they are supposed to be this devout Christian family? Yeah, well, Christian folk can and are bad people too.

 

[Havard]

Ok. Since the victims apparently are at peace, perhaps we should take them at their word that things are over for them. There’s nothing to suggest.

Molestation is a crime, and crimes are wrongs with societal implications, not just personal ones. Thus when a crime is committed, the victim’s desires are not the only desires considered. Prosecutors may pursue criminal in many cases even when victims do not want to press charges, not only out of interest for the victim, but because of the interests of society.

Again, the point is that what is the goal of “proper redress”? Whatever action was taken appears to have achieved the intended end of rehabilitation and restitution. JD hasn’t repeated his crimes and his victims have found peace. What further actions is necessary?

It seems you aren’t satisfied. Despite there being zero evidence that he’s not reformed, you want evidence that he has been reformed. Sounds like proving he’s innocent, rather than proving him guilty.

You keep making comments about what he has or hasn’t done. Not me. I have no idea what he’s done. I’m saying what he should do. For all I know, he’s already done everything I’ve suggested he do.

 

[masondoggy]

You turn him over to the police. The judge could decide that he needs counseling or what not.

The sad reality, though, is that once incarcerated these offenders rarely get the mental therapy that they need.

I’m not saying they shouldn’t be incarcerated. They should. I’m just saying that, as a parent, if I knew that my child needed such serious mental help and calling the police would hinder that help, I probably would seek the help before calling the police.

Sad state of our justice system, imo.

 

[Dawnia]

He wasn’t punished. Was he on probation? Told that he couldn’t be around his victims? Or anything?
I want his punishment to fit the crime. Since they live in Arkansas, he should be punished to their standards.

Anything he did that long ago is likely beyond the reach of the legal system.

 

[SWolf]

The sad reality, though, is that once incarcerated these offenders rarely get the mental therapy that they need.

I’m not saying they shouldn’t be incarcerated. They should. I’m just saying that, as a parent, if I knew that my child needed such serious mental help and calling the police would hinder that help, I probably would seek the help before calling the police.

Sad state of our justice system, imo.

You nailed it.

Want a messed up kid to remain messed up? Get the justice system involved. It’s an absolute last resort when you feel there’s no hope, and want to minimize the damage to society.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

The sad reality, though, is that once incarcerated these offenders rarely get the mental therapy that they need.

I’m not saying they shouldn’t be incarcerated. They should. I’m just saying that, as a parent, if I knew that my child needed such serious mental help and calling the police would hinder that help, I probably would seek the help before calling the police.

Sad state of our justice system, imo.

If anyone came to me and said that they were sexually abused, 911 would be dialed immediately. Get this person off the streets, it isn’t good for society. That’s my first reaction.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Anything he did that long ago is likely beyond the reach of the legal system.

Which is awful.

 

[EmeraldOak]

Glad he resigned no matter how long ago it was. There’s no place for molestation in Christian ministry.

Thank you!!!

 

[SuperLuigi]

=KendraDZ1902;12991317]Some people said they were Josh’s ally, and that victims should just pick up their cross and be humble.

Quite correct.

Not very compassionate.

Yes it is.

It is hard to believe these victims statements because their parents have TOTAL control over their lives.

No it isn’t.

They even swept this deplorable thing under the rug, you can’t possibly care for your daughters if you allow your son to do such a thing and just “let it go.”

:doh2:

They didn’t “just let it go”. There is a police report and he got counseling.

 

[SuperLuigi]

If anyone came to me and said that they were sexually abused, 911 would be dialed immediately. Get this person off the streets, it isn’t good for society. That’s my first reaction.

A good policy, but some people lie about being abused for special attention.

 

[masondoggy]

If anyone came to me and said that they were sexually abused, 911 would be dialed immediately. Get this person off the streets, it isn’t good for society. That’s my first reaction.

Yes. Me too. But I’m putting myself in their shoes. This was their son. That’s why I said God help me if I’m ever in that position because He would have to help me to do the right thing. As I said, knowing my son needs serious mental help and him going to jail would hinder that. well…Not saying it’s the right choice.

That’s why I’m glad I"m not in those shoes.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I think it presumptuous and uncharitable to suggest that the Duggars are liars and they “can’t possibly care for [their] daughters.” You don’t know their minds or hearts.