The Duggers' 17 children

[whatevergirl]

Did you ever think that they said ‘yes’ to the show to try to ‘evangelize’ thru it? To show the world that large families are not a ‘bad, evil, thing’ to have?? I see them doing the show as a way to express to the world how much joy and happiness all these children bring to their lives and to eachother… that’s just my thoughts on it tho.
I did meet them in person, they were the most well behaved kids I’ve ever met.
(Can’t recall which poster mentioned this) I think if they were so deprived of their parents attention they would not be as well behaved as they are, which leads me to believe that the parents are attentive to their kids individual needs.

I agree with you mama. I don’t agree with some of their ideals, but I definitely think they are the ‘‘real deal.’’ Sorry to say, moreso than Jon & Kate. I think fame got the best of them…but the Duggars seem to hold it together, and maintain such a moral foundation, despite the money and fame. I tell my kids when that show is on…’‘see these kids? Huh? Huh? You need to shape up like them.’’ They don’t like the show, needless to say…they think the kids are ‘‘forced’’ to act that way. The dad is very strict…but, so is my husband. I agree…their kids are well behaved, and I think they were just brought up with morals and values…I don’t agree with no tv, only wearing skirts, child caring responsibilities being passed on to the girls mainly, etc…I don’t. But, that is their way of parenting, and that is fine. I love the show, and watch it whenever it’s on.

 

[whatevergirl]

**
I completely agree w/ you, Sharon!! How can they have a sibling relationship w/ them if they are ‘parenting’ them??
Not to mention, those older kids basically give up their teen years to be a ‘parent to a sibling’. I am all for kids having responsibility however having them take on that large of one is not right in my opinion. **

I just noticed the date on this post…we’ve known each other a long time, mamacita.

 

[lada]

Their children are well behaved because they’re scared out of their minds to disobey. Don’t forget that the Duggars subscribe to the Michael and Debi Pearl school of child-rearing. They used to admit to it, but that resulted in a wave of outrage and negative press, so they’re more quiet about it now.

There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions.

Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a “No-no” corner or on an apple juice table (That’s where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, “No, don’t touch it.” They will already be familiar with the “No,” so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, “No.” Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain.

(From Michael and Debi Pearl, “To Train up a Child”)

Seriously, people who smack six month old babies with switches? And this is a family of high moral standards that we should all hold in esteem? I think I’m going to vomit.

 

[whatevergirl]

Their children are well behaved because they’re scared out of their minds to disobey. Don’t forget that the Duggars subscribe to the Michael and Debi Pearl school of child-rearing. They used to admit to it, but that resulted in a wave of outrage and negative press, so they’re more quiet about it now.

(From Michael and Debi Pearl, “To Train up a Child”)

Seriously, people who smack six month old babies with switches? And this is a family of high moral standards that we should all hold in esteem? I think I’m going to vomit.

*So, my kids were right. lol I didn’t know that, interesting. I’m not surprised, they seem (the dad anyways) very very strict…like there is never a time when their kids can just ‘‘be,’’ it seems…that is what I don’t care for. They always seem to be following orders of some sort…I don’t know. II don’t think you need to parent in such a way that the only thing that is getting your child to behave is fearing you. They do seem to be well behaved…and happy, I would add. They are growing up differently and don’t really know any other ‘‘way.’’ So, it looks to be working for them. Again, just a different lifestyle, but maybe that is why I find the show so fascinating. It is so opposite of how my dh and I parent…that their ‘‘methods’’ intrigue me. *

 

[mamacita]

Their children are well behaved because they’re scared out of their minds to disobey.** Don’t forget that the Duggars subscribe to the Michael and Debi Pearl school of child-rearing. They used to admit to it**, but that resulted in a wave of outrage and negative press, so they’re more quiet about it now.

(From Michael and Debi Pearl, “To Train up a Child”)

Seriously, people who smack six month old babies with switches? And this is a family of high moral standards that we should all hold in esteem? I think I’m going to vomit.

Where did you hear/read the above bolded part??

 

[masondoggy]

They could have good intentions, but we can never be sure. But it is a possibility that they could only have good intentions. The point of my post was that when you let people into your life on TV, you have to expect people will talk good and bad about you. And not everyone will have the same opinion. I’m neutral on them, while my pro-choice friends think they are weird.

That’s cool you met them, I’m glad that they are nice.

I agree with you that they offered their family life for public consumption and that does open the door to criticism. But what has always bothered me is the hostility and judgemental attitudes I’ve seen slung around about them (not necessarily here but in secular circles). It’s one thing to disagree with somebody’s lifestyle, it’s another to get vicious and mean about it. I’ve seen it so much where the Duggars are concerned.

*I agree with you mama. I don’t agree with some of their ideals, but I definitely think they are the ‘‘real deal.’’ Sorry to say, moreso than Jon & Kate. I think fame got the best of them…but the Duggars seem to hold it together, and maintain such a moral foundation, despite the money and fame. *

I personally believe that Jon & Kate had fundamental problems in their marriage way before the fame ever came along. Jon felt trapped and couldn’t get over his “lost youth” and poo was bound to hit the fan eventually. Fame or no fame, imo.

Of course, to me, that makes them more the “real deal” in our society because I think this is a problem eating away at many marriages today…

Their children are well behaved because they’re scared out of their minds to disobey. Don’t forget that the Duggars subscribe to the Michael and Debi Pearl school of child-rearing. They used to admit to it, but that resulted in a wave of outrage and negative press, so they’re more quiet about it now.

(From Michael and Debi Pearl, “To Train up a Child”)

Seriously, people who smack six month old babies with switches? And this is a family of high moral standards that we should all hold in esteem? I think I’m going to vomit.

Where did JimBob or Michelle ever imply that they discipline their children like that?

 

[mamacita]

I just noticed the date on this post…we’ve known each other a long time, mamacita.

**LOL, yes, we have indeed (2007 I think we met? LCT?)! However my post back then was before I read about them and watched the show (I was going on ‘hearsay’ from our lovely media, rumor mills, etc.)…after having watched the show, reading about them, etc. I don’t think that they pass a child onto a sibling. At least I have yet to see them do that. Of course they all help out one another, but that’s how it is in our house w/ only 6 family members. Children learn responsibility by helping out/caring for others needs. My oldest 2 will voluntarily change the baby’s diaper, w/ out being asked, and to me that says a lot about their character when they can step up w/ out being told and just pitch in wherever needed. That’s just my:twocents:

**

 

[mamacita]

"I agree with you that they offered their family life for public consumption and that does open the door to criticism. But what has always bothered me is the hostility and judgemental attitudes I’ve seen slung around about them (not necessarily here but in secular circles). It’s one thing to disagree with somebody’s lifestyle, it’s another to get vicious and mean about it. I’ve seen it so much where the Duggars are concerned. "

Masondoggy, this is exactly how I feel. What I’ve also noticed is that w/ them being TRUE Christians, I’ve never once heard them lash back at the media, etc. like Jon + Kate do every chance they get. The Duggars just sit back, relax, and act like the bigger person so to speak when they are mocked, ridiculed, etc. That says a lot about them IMO. And believe me, we’d know if they were lashing back, it’d be all over the tv (Entertainment Tonight, Extra, etc.). They walk the walk and talk the talk of what it means to be a Christian.

 

[lada]

Where did you hear/read the above bolded part??

When they came out with the original tv show and their website was new, they used to have the Pearl’s book on their website, along with a little statement about how wonderful the Pearls were and how much wisdom they (the Duggars) had gained from them. I have seen it for myself. No, they don’t broadcast this little tidbit any longer…can you imagine what that would do for their viewer base??? But don’t be misled, that IS the way they parent.

 

[mamacita]

When they came out with the original tv show and their website was new, they used to have the Pearl’s book on their website, along with a little statement about how wonderful the Pearls were and how much wisdom they (the Duggars) had gained from them. I have seen it for myself. No, they don’t broadcast this little tidbit any longer…can you imagine what that would do for their viewer base??? But don’t be misled, that IS the way they parent.

So what episode # was this original tv show so I can try finding it online to verify your information? I’d like to know…

 

[masondoggy]

LOL, yes, we have indeed (2007 I think we met? LCT?)! However my post back then was before I read about them and watched the show (I was going on ‘hearsay’ from our lovely media, rumor mills, etc.)…after having watched the show, reading about them, etc. I don’t think that they pass a child onto a sibling. At least I have yet to see them do that. Of course they all help out one another, but that’s how it is in our house w/ only 6 family members. Children learn responsibility by helping out/caring for others needs. My oldest 2 will voluntarily change the baby’s diaper, w/ out being asked, and to me that says a lot about their character when they can step up w/ out being told and just pitch in wherever needed. That’s just my:twocents:

That’s how it is in my family too, the older kids help with the younger ones. Now if I could just get the older two to happily volunteer to change a diaper, lol…

But yea, I agree. I don’t think that their “buddy system” they use equals “handing the young kids off to a sibling”. Every time I see that show Jim Bob and Michelle both are always interacting with their younger kids…people talk as if Michelle dumps this 6 month old infant on an older girl and never pays attention to the child again. That’s obviously not the case in that family. I also get the impression that those kids, especially the older girls, thoroughly enjoy caring for the babies and young kids. Many teen age girls do enjoy it.

 

[whatevergirl]

**LOL, yes, we have indeed (2007 I think we met? LCT?)! However my post back then was before I read about them and watched the show (I was going on ‘hearsay’ from our lovely media, rumor mills, etc.)…after having watched the show, reading about them, etc. I don’t think that they pass a child onto a sibling. At least I have yet to see them do that. Of course they all help out one another, but that’s how it is in our house w/ only 6 family members. Children learn responsibility by helping out/caring for others needs. My oldest 2 will voluntarily change the baby’s diaper, w/ out being asked, and to me that says a lot about their character when they can step up w/ out being told and just pitch in wherever needed. That’s just my:twocents:

**

*I agree…kids do need to learn responsiblity. I do recall Michelle on one of the shows, I could be wrong…saying she tends to her newborn’s needs for 6 months, and then the baby has a sibling as a ‘‘buddy,’’ and that sibling does a lot of the childcare needs. Thought I heard her say that…I could be mistaken. *

 

[lovemyboys]

Their children are well behaved because they’re scared out of their minds to disobey. Don’t forget that the Duggars subscribe to the Michael and Debi Pearl school of child-rearing. They used to admit to it, but that resulted in a wave of outrage and negative press, so they’re more quiet about it now.

(From Michael and Debi Pearl, “To Train up a Child”)

Seriously, people who smack six month old babies with switches? And this is a family of high moral standards that we should all hold in esteem? I think I’m going to vomit.

That book definitely promotes child abuse. I’m really disappointed that this is the way they’ve made their children so well-behaved (if what you say is true, and it sounds like it is). I guess they save the spankings of infants for when they’re off camera.

 

[masondoggy]

When they came out with the original tv show and their website was new, they used to have the Pearl’s book on their website, along with a little statement about how wonderful the Pearls were and how much wisdom they (the Duggars) had gained from them. I have seen it for myself. No, they don’t broadcast this little tidbit any longer…can you imagine what that would do for their viewer base??? But don’t be misled, that IS the way they parent.

OK, so all that proves is that they follow at least part of the Pearls child rearing philosophy. I’m sure this book they talk about talks about a lot more than extreme discipline methods. Just because somebody reads a parenting book doesn’t mean that they adopt every single bit of advice in that book. That may pick and choose the parts that fit their style and leave the parts out that they don’t agree with/feel comfortable with/don’t need. Have you ever seen or heard either of the Duggars say that they punish their children in that extreme manner? Because I sure haven’t, I’ve never even seen either of them raise their voice to those kids…even when the kids deserved it.

Masondoggy, this is exactly how I feel. What I’ve also noticed is that w/ them being TRUE Christians, I’ve never once heard them lash back at the media, etc. like Jon + Kate do every chance they get. The Duggars just sit back, relax, and act like the bigger person so to speak when they are mocked, ridiculed, etc. That says a lot about them IMO. And believe me, we’d know if they were lashing back, it’d be all over the tv (Entertainment Tonight, Extra, etc.). They walk the walk and talk the talk of what it means to be a Christian.

You are so right about that.

 

[happymommy]

So what episode # was this original tv show so I can try finding it online to verify your information? I’d like to know…

I have their first show on DVD and no where on it do they ever mention the Pearls. I just watched it about two weeks ago, they are never mentioned!

 

[whatevergirl]

"I agree with you that they offered their family life for public consumption and that does open the door to criticism. But what has always bothered me is the hostility and judgemental attitudes I’ve seen slung around about them (not necessarily here but in secular circles). It’s one thing to disagree with somebody’s lifestyle, it’s another to get vicious and mean about it. I’ve seen it so much where the Duggars are concerned. "

Masondoggy, this is exactly how I feel. What I’ve also noticed is that w/ them being TRUE Christians, I’ve never once heard them lash back at the media, etc. like Jon + Kate do every chance they get. The Duggars just sit back, relax, and act like the bigger person so to speak when they are mocked, ridiculed, etc. That says a lot about them IMO. And believe me, we’d know if they were lashing back, it’d be all over the tv (Entertainment Tonight, Extra, etc.). They walk the walk and talk the talk of what it means to be a Christian.

*I agree with this, too.

One of my main reasons that I love the show is this…they are a very loving family. They care about each other. I remember growing up, all the large family reunions, the get togethers on holidays…now, everyone is so spread out. Once my dad’s and mom’s family started passing away, that cohesiveness of the larger family unit, seemed to dissipate. My husband and I have two kids, but we try our best to make sure they understand the value of family. That is the main reason I watch the show…it reminds me of yesteryear, when families were all pretty large, and everyone had a concern for each other. I talked to my sister recently, and her boys barely speak to each other…that’s so sad to me. I don’t see that with the Duggars, they seem to genuinely want to be around each other…Not that kids don’t need their own individual time, they do. But, I believe in family…and sticking together as a family. I admire the show largely for that. Their religious beliefs, and some parenting methods, I don’t care for…but the show has a positive message to me, overall. *

 

[mamacita]

OK, so all that proves is that they follow at least part of the Pearls child rearing philosophy. I’m sure this book they talk about talks about a lot more than extreme discipline methods. Just because somebody reads a parenting book doesn’t mean that they adopt every single bit of advice in that book. That may pick and choose the parts that fit their style and leave the parts out that they don’t agree with/feel comfortable with/don’t need. Have you ever seen or heard either of the Duggars say that they punish their children in that extreme manner?** Because I sure haven’t, I’ve never even seen either of them raise their voice to those kids…even when the kids deserved it. **

You are so right about that.

** Not to mention, on the show I’ve seen the boys (what is it, like 5 in a row? they are hilarious together) act out and run around like crazy, and neither parent yells a single time. I highly * doubt* that they are ‘holding it in’ til the cameras leave because as many have said in the past, cameras are there more than we realize becau se there is much editing that goes on and everything else. It would be too hard for them to be all nicey nice only when cameras are there because they are THERE more than NOT there. KWIM? My SIL’s sister was here for Christmas and telling us all about reality shows and how they are filmed more than we realize (the amount of time, etc), she works w/ some film people in NY that she learns all this from, her boss was on reality tv as well…so, basically I find it hard to believe that they are ‘abusing’ their kids off camera and then the minute the film rolls they totally flip a switch on the ‘abuse.’

Iada, it’s funny to me because before you were all over them for having more kids and not breastfeeding long enough. Now that we’ve straightened out the fact that not every women even attempts to breastfeed, now you turn and attack their child rearing ways. Interesting…**

 

[lovemyboys]

Whatevergirl, that’s why I like the show, too. There’s a family-first mentality that’s just so rare these days. I’m definitely trying to cultivate this in my own house. My siblings and I barely speak-- connections were not valued in my family. Jobs, things, getting away from each other and OUT of the house-- these were valued in my family. Ok, TMI. lol

 

[happymommy]

I’ve read the Pearls book and there is a lot of it that I do not agree with and would never use. But that doesn’t mean I disagree with the whole book. I think most people can read a book and then pick and choose what info. they agree with. Just because I have read it does not mean I think people should be hitting their 6 month old. Saying that if you have read a book means you must agree with everything the writer has written, is well…just plain silly. I suppose if you only want to read books that you agree 100% with, then go ahead.
I’ve never heard the Duggars raise their voices to their children, nor do I feel that Jim Bob is some terrible strict monster of a father. Heck, he is always smiling. I don’t think the children fear him at all. And if they were such terrible, mean parents who just want their kids to work and never have any fun, would they have put the play/game room in the house that they did? I don’t think so!
We don’t let our kids watch much t.v., they aren’t allowed much computer time, I’m careful about how they dress: shorts and skirts must be below the knee. We are also careful about the music that comes into the house. I guess that makes me a bad parent in the eyes of some. That’s fine. You have the right to your opinion and you have the right to raise your children the way you feel is best. I don’t have to agree with it, I don’t have to like it, but I won’t judge you on it. I think that’s fair. It’s not our place to judge how others raise their kids. These children seem well cared for, they are loved and they seem happy. They are always laughing and singing and I don’t believe they are acting.
The one thing that really bothers me about people complaining about the Duggars…if you don’t like them…DON’T WATCH THE SHOW!!! and don’t run them down. Not very Christ like!

 

[whatevergirl]

Whatevergirl, that’s why I like the show, too. There’s a family-first mentality that’s just so rare these days. I’m definitely trying to cultivate this in my own house. My siblings and I barely speak-- connections were not valued in my family. Jobs, things, getting away from each other and OUT of the house-- these were valued in my family. Ok, TMI. lol

*Are you my long lost sister? lol My sister and BIL raised me…my parents died when I was very young. They did the best they could…and I grew up with a ‘‘sense’’ of family, but there was always this ‘‘push’’ to go to college and get ‘out in the world’ and make something of yourself. That IS a good thing to instill in kids, but it shouldn’t be the ONLY thing. My nephews who are now 27 and 31, grew up with that same message…go to college, make lots of money when you grow up…things things things…

And my sister wonders why her boys rarely call her or each other. I don’t think she brought them up with a strong sense of faith, either. They went to Catholic school, but that’s it. So, now one nephew is an atheist, and the other doesn’t practice anything.

Your kids will largely grow up to be a byproduct of how you raise them…so, we have to make sure that if we want those values to be of importance…we have to do the work when they’re still at home. I am not saying my sister was a bad parent, she wasn’t. But, I think the things she instilled in her boys (and me) were more secular and material based. My husband grew up in a large family, one of nine kids…so together, we helped each other reach a nice balance.

I admire the Duggars GREATLY for that beautiful sense of family…*