The Duggers' 17 children

[mamacita]

I’ve read the Pearls book and there is a lot of it that I do not agree with and would never use. But that doesn’t mean I disagree with the whole book. I think most people can read a book and then pick and choose what info. they agree with. Just because I have read it does not mean I think people should be hitting their 6 month old. Saying that if you have read a book means you must agree with everything the writer has written, is well…just plain silly. I suppose if you only want to read books that you agree 100% with, then go ahead.
I’ve never heard the Duggars raise their voices to their children, nor do I feel that Jim Bob is some terrible strict monster of a father. Heck, he is always smiling. I don’t think the children fear him at all. And if they were such terrible, mean parents who just want their kids to work and never have any fun, would they have put the play/game room in the house that they did? I don’t think so!
We don’t let our kids watch much t.v., they aren’t allowed much computer time, I’m careful about how they dress: shorts and skirts must be below the knee. We are also careful about the music that comes into the house. I guess that makes me a bad parent in the eyes of some. That’s fine. You have the right to your opinion and you have the right to raise your children the way you feel is best. I don’t have to agree with it, I don’t have to like it, but I won’t judge you on it. I think that’s fair. It’s not our place to judge how others raise their kids. These children seem well cared for, they are loved and they seem happy. They are always laughing and singing and I don’t believe they are acting.
The one thing that really bothers me about people complaining about the Duggars…if you don’t like them…DON’T WATCH THE SHOW!!! and don’t run them down. Not very Christ like!

** I agree w/ all that you’ve stated.

One more thing is that Jim Bob is VERY good to those kids…what comes to my mind is the homemade slip and slide on the yard, the day he taught Jessa to drive, and the day he went skydiving (those episodes stick out in my mind). He seems like a very happy, loving, father to them all.
I just checked out the Pearls website since I was curious as to what all the hype is about. One thing I found under ‘babies’ is Debi used an example of how to discipline a nursing infant. She said “don’t spank the baby for biting your breast, but simply pull the baby’s hair and it will teach the baby not to do that again.” NOW, really, do you all see Mrs. Duggar as this mean mom that sits around pulling her nursing infant’s hair if the baby bites her? I think not. **

 

[happymommy]

** I agree w/ all that you’ve stated.

One more thing is that Jim Bob is VERY good to those kids…what comes to my mind is the homemade slip and slide on the yard, the day he taught Jessa to drive, and the day he went skydiving (those episodes stick out in my mind). He seems like a very happy, loving, father to them all.
I just checked out the Pearls website since I was curious as to what all the hype is about. One thing I found under ‘babies’ is Debi used an example of how to discipline a nursing infant. She said “don’t spank the baby for biting your breast, but simply pull the baby’s hair and it will teach the baby not to do that again.” NOW, really, do you all see Mrs. Duggar as this mean mom that sits around pulling her nursing infant’s hair if the baby bites her? I think not. **

Have you ever heard of the Duggar guide lines? It’s the list of things their family lives by…never raise a voice to yell, never raise a hand to hit, never lift a foot to kick. Always speak kindly, even when you don’t feel well…things like that…they sound like terrible people

 

[masondoggy]

Have you ever heard of the Duggar guide lines? It’s the list of things their family lives by…never raise a voice to yell, never raise a hand to hit, never lift a foot to kick. Always speak kindly, even when you don’t feel well…things like that…they sound like terrible people

Yes, I’ve seen that list too, I think it’s hanging up in their house. That’s why I just don’t buy the accusation that they beat their 6 month old infants.

I actually think it’s despicable to spread a rumor like that unless you know FOR SURE that is what this family does…just like those who insist on repeating the rumor that Michelle purposefully weans her babies at 6 months just so she can get pregnant again.

Let’s STOP with the rumors people. It’s UnChristian and it’s UnCatholic.
If you don’t have proof that you saw with your own eyes on their show or out of their mouths, keep it to yourself.

 

[lovemyboys]

It’s true that even if the Duggars read the Pearl’s book, it doesn’t mean they followed every part. The children definitely don’t look afraid of the parents. I think that children would be afraid of parents who followed everything in that book…

 

[lovemyboys]

*Are you my long lost sister? lol My sister and BIL raised me…my parents died when I was very young. They did the best they could…and I grew up with a ‘‘sense’’ of family, but there was always this ‘‘push’’ to go to college and get ‘out in the world’ and make something of yourself. That IS a good thing to instill in kids, but it shouldn’t be the ONLY thing. My nephews who are now 27 and 31, grew up with that same message…go to college, make lots of money when you grow up…things things things…

And my sister wonders why her boys rarely call her or each other. I don’t think she brought them up with a strong sense of faith, either. They went to Catholic school, but that’s it. So, now one nephew is an atheist, and the other doesn’t practice anything.

Your kids will largely grow up to be a byproduct of how you raise them…so, we have to make sure that if we want those values to be of importance…we have to do the work when they’re still at home. I am not saying my sister was a bad parent, she wasn’t. But, I think the things she instilled in her boys (and me) were more secular and material based. My husband grew up in a large family, one of nine kids…so together, we helped each other reach a nice balance.

I admire the Duggars GREATLY for that beautiful sense of family…*

I’d love to have a long-lost sister! LOL
When you grow up with the wrong things emphasized, it just leaves you with a hole… I could tell you all of the stories of heartache in my own family as well.

 

[mamacita]

I’d love to have a long-lost sister! LOL
When you grow up with the wrong things emphasized, it just leaves you with a hole… ** I could tell you all of the stories of heartache in my own family as well.**

**
As we all could. However what I’ve learned in life is that we can’t change the past, we can only make the best of today and the future. When it comes to raising my own kids, I look back and see what I would do differently from what my own parents had done and just do it. Yes, there are many things we have done differently from them and I’m sure they think we are ‘odd’. That’s ok tho because it’s what I’ve learned works for us, and makes our family grow closer together. **

 

[shannyk]

Well, as much as I will defend Michelle against rumors regarding the whole breastfeeding thing, the reality is the Duggars do blanket training (cited in their own book) and do believe in the very fundamentalist/Jansenist ideas that the person is basically ‘bad’ and that chilren’s wills have to be ‘broken’. It doesn’t seem like the Duggar parents take that to quite the levels that the Pears/Ezzoz/Dr. Dobson does, but it’s definitely a perspective on the person that is completely contrary to the Catholic view of the person which is that the person is basically good and that the will has to be formed and directed by parents, not broken. I do tend to see a lot of…blind obedience in the Duggar family, which doesn’t sit too well with me.

I think the whole buddy thing is over exaggerated…I was the oldest in my family, of 5 and then later two more when I was already grown and out of the house. When I was 10, I was watching ALL 4 of my younger siblings, had them sleeping in my room, changing, feeding etc. I would have loved to just have ONE to be worried about! I think the idea behind the buddy thing is to make sure that the older ones don’t get saddled with the care of more than one, which IS a lot to handle. The buddy system makes it fair. It makes sense to me.

 

[whatevergirl]

*I think they are a great family…and it’s fine to not agree with everything they do as parents.But, overall, a good positive show. I want to apologize here for believing any hearsay about the Duggars and discussing it…not fair of me to do at all. So forgive me for anything I might have commented on, that was based on hearsay or rumors. *

 

[lovemyboys]

*I think they are a great family…and it’s fine to not agree with everything they do as parents.But, overall, a good positive show. I want to apologize here for believing any hearsay about the Duggars and discussing it…not fair of me to do at all. So forgive me for anything I might have commented on, that was based on hearsay or rumors. *

Ditto for me.

 

[Snugglebugmom]

I watch their reality show religiously (pardon the pun) and I love it. Michelle is an inspiration to me when it comes to patience. I find myself frustrated and yelling at my kids way more than I ever thought I would, and watching Michelle handle her little ones helps me.
As for all the bizarre rumors out there about “robot children”, early weaning and forcing the next conception, about the kids not being able to pick their own future and being browbeaten into old fashioned roll patterns, I take it all with a grain of salt. I don’t get those impressions at all from their show. When I see the little boys tearing through the house, pouncing on each other, and playing pranks on the sound man, they seem to me perfectly normal, rambunctious little kids. I have heard Michelle call one of them by first, middle and last name in a store to try and keep him in line and it had me laughing out loud. Michelle Duggar is every bit as human as any of us, and that made me feel good. She is just exceptionally patient, and perhaps that is largely due to the fact that she has so many children. Without patience she would go nuts.
As for having more children: the Duggars’ belief system does not allow them birth control. And that includes NFP. Remember, they go by the Book only, they don’t have the privilege of our two thousand years of Tradition and teaching by the Mother Church. So there is no “choice” involved, they gave it over to the Lord and that is that.
I admire them greatly, I do not agree with all of their parenting choices but I believe they are doing a wonderful job in raising a large family in a society that seems to think that having children should be limited to two at the most.
Oh, and there is one more thing I wanted to address: the claim that baby Josie was born early because Michelle has had too many babies. It’s not true, and more than that, it is horribly uncharitable.

 

[masondoggy]

Oh, and there is one more thing I wanted to address: the claim that baby Josie was born early because Michelle has had too many babies. It’s not true, and more than that, it is horribly uncharitable.

That is the accusation that makes my blood boil. I see it over and over how “this should be a sign that they should stop” .
Really??

I also have to laugh (almost) that people think just because Michelle had pre-eclampsia in this one pregnancy (after how many healthy pregnancies???) that she is at sooooo much risk having another baby. Yes, obviously her risk is higher but does every woman out there that had this condition stop having kids? I’m sure some do, but it’s the first time I’ve heard of this “rule”. Or I guess it’s only a rule that applies to Michelle Duggar because she broke the other rule of having too many kids.

 

[KCT]

Let’s STOP with the rumors people. It’s UnChristian and it’s UnCatholic.
If you don’t have proof that you saw with your own eyes on their show or out of their mouths, keep it to yourself.

And even if you did hear or see it for yourself, who says you have to tell others?

 

[LongingForLight]

Or I guess it’s only a rule that applies to Michelle Duggar because she broke the other rule of having too many kids.

Agree with your entire post. Pre-eclampsia isn’t that rare, and it won’t affect every subsequent pregnancy . . . and there are lots of older child-bearing women who have started their families late around here, had premature infants, and not stopped at one baby just because they were “high risk”.

 

[consecrated_one]

I am very concerned about the short bresatfeeding time. It’s important to try and breastfeed longer, a year or more. This is what makes me feel like they “are just like little kids who can’t wait for the next one!”

 

[mamacita]

I am very concerned about the short bresatfeeding time. It’s important to try and breastfeed longer, a year or more. This is what makes me feel like they “are just like little kids who can’t wait for the next one!”

This has already been discussed a few pages back. Mrs. Duggar said herself on their Q and A episode that she does NOT quit nursing to get pregnant, she is STILL nursing when she concieves. Her fertility returns at around 6 months, while she is nursing.

 

[consecrated_one]

thank you, and sorry for not being up-to-date

 

[consecrated_one]

As I wrote, I am more concerned about her early weaning than when she becomes feritile. However, I am quite sure we’ve drifted off into things which are not our business.

 

[mpi]

As I wrote, I am more concerned about her early weaning than when she becomes feritile. However, I am quite sure we’ve drifted off into things which are not our business.

Do you apply morality concepts to a family’s choice to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? If so then I am offended. If not, then disregard my comments.

 

[lovemyboys]

In their book, Mrs. Duggar writes about how excruciating it is for her to breastfeed. She probably doesn’t do it that long because it’s so painful for her. That would explain the quick return of fertility. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business if she breastfeeds at all.

 

[Catholic90]

I am very concerned about the short bresatfeeding time. It’s important to try and breastfeed longer, a year or more. This is what makes me feel like they “are just like little kids who can’t wait for the next one!”

I always thought it was up to the PARENTS to decide what was best for their children and family…not you. Silly me.

What business is it of YOURS of how long they may or may not breastfeed???

Do you ask every mother of babies how long they are nursing???

None…of…YOUR…business.:dts:

Now the good news is when you are talking about YOUR kids, you can nurse however long you want. But anybody else, MYOB.