The Duties of a Catholic Wife

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Julianna said:
Hmmmm…strange, I don’t recall the word “obey” in my marriage vows in 1981, I don’t recall that word when my brother and sis in law were married, 10 yrs later. We were married in the Catholic Church too. I guess the reason is, “BECAUSE IT IS NOT USED ANYMORE”. interesting…
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I don’t think “obey” ever has been in Catholic vows.
 
Baelor said:
Read any of the variety of Papal encyclicals on this topic. Many of them have been linked to and quoted in this thread.
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Except for the fact – that both husband and wife have the same dignity and equal rights regarding the marriage.

To say the husband has authority above the wife – would not only do damage to her dignity – but also to her rights.
CHARTER OF THE RIGHTS OF THE FAMILY
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c) The spouses, in the natural complementarity which exists between man and woman, enjoy the same dignity and equal rights regarding the marriage.
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vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_19831022_family-rights_en.html
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I feel like, if being subordinate to your husband makes you happy, go for it. If having a subordinate wife makes you happy, great. Marry a like-minded person and be happy. If having an egalitarian marriage works for you, super. Go with that. At the end of the day, the Church asks us to stay married, open to life, and to help make each other more holy. It does not tell us how we have to do those things. I’d never want to be in the kind of marriage where I have less authority than my husband, or am the “heart” of a head-heart dyad, or where my husband expected submission or obedience. Luckily, I don’t have to be. Whatever works to keep your family together in the long haul is what’s good for 'ya.
 
Walking_Home said:
Except for the fact – that both husband and wife have the same dignity and equal rights regarding the marriage.

To say the husband has authority above the wife – would not only do damage to her dignity – but also to her rights.
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That does not change the fact that the husband is the ruler of the family:
Casti Connubii:
  1. With great wisdom Our predecessor Leo XIII, of happy memory, in the Encyclical on Christian marriage which We have already mentioned, speaking of this order to be maintained between man and wife, teaches: “The man is the ruler of the family, and the head of the woman; but because she is flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone, let her be subject and obedient to the man, not as a servant but as a companion, so that nothing be lacking of honor or of dignity in the obedience which she pays. Let divine charity be the constant guide of their mutual relations, both in him who rules and in her who obeys, since each bears the image, the one of Christ, the other of the Church.”[30]
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Baelor said:
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Walking_Home:
Except for the fact – that both husband and wife have the same dignity and equal rights regarding the marriage.

To say the husband has authority above the wife – would not only do damage to her dignity – but also to her rights.
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That does not change the fact that the husband is the ruler of the family:
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There is no “ruler”. As can be seen from the Charter – both husband and wife have the same dignity and equal rights. To say otherwise – would trample the wife.
 
JackieMom said:
I feel like, if being subordinate to your husband makes you happy, go for it. If having a subordinate wife makes you happy, great. Marry a like-minded person and be happy. If having an egalitarian marriage works for you, super. Go with that. At the end of the day, the Church asks us to stay married, open to life, and to help make each other more holy. It does not tell us how we have to do those things. I’d never want to be in the kind of marriage where I have less authority than my husband, or am the “heart” of a head-heart dyad, or where my husband expected submission or obedience. Luckily, I don’t have to be. Whatever works to keep your family together in the long haul is what’s good for 'ya.
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Exactly. Why tell anyone how to live their marriage. What irks me is this insistence that God has given husbands authority over their wives which would mean that husbands and wives who do not follow that are offending God.
 
Baelor said:
That does not change the fact that the husband is the ruler of the family:
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That is not a fact. A ruler with real power or as in a constitutional monarchy? If as in in a constitutional monarchy, then just a figurehead and a symbol, if with real power, then marriage is about domination and power.
 
Walking_Home said:
Except for the fact – that both husband and wife have the same dignity and equal rights regarding the marriage.

To say the husband has authority above the wife – would not only do damage to her dignity – but also to her rights.
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Read my quotation – Casti Connubii clearly states that the man is to be a ruler in the way that does not diminish her dignity or equality in the marriage.

Equal does not mean the same.
 
severus68 said:
That is not a fact.
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It is a fact if you are Catholic, given that the teaching of the Church, in accordance with that of the Bible, is very clear.
A ruler with real power or as in a constitutional monarchy?
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Neither. A ruler as Christ is the ruler of the Church. Read the encyclical.
JackieMom said:
Maybe in your family the husband rules. But not in mine. Are you saying I’m doing it wrong?
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I am obviously unqualified to comment on the nature of your marriage, so I will not.
 
Baelor said:
Read my quotation – Casti Connubii clearly states that the man is to be a ruler in the way that does** not diminish her dignity or equality in the marriage**.

Equal does not mean the same.
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And the Charter clearly states-- husband and wife have** the same** dignity and** equal** rights. This leaves no room for a “ruler”.
 
Walking_Home said:
And the Charter clearly states-- husband and wife have** the same** dignity and** equal** rights. This leaves no room for a “ruler”.
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Those rights and dignity are not jeopardized by the husband’s position as ruler of the family.
 
Baelor said:
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Walking_Home:
And the Charter clearly states-- husband and wife have the same dignity and equal rights. This leaves no room for a “ruler”.
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Those rights and dignity are not jeopardized by the husband’s position as ruler of the family.
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The “position as ruler” – speaks against the dignity and rights of the wife.
 
Baelor said:
Those rights and dignity are not jeopardized by the husband’s position as ruler of the family.
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Would you say that families where the parents “rule” equally are doing something wrong, not adhering to Catholic teaching? Do you leave room for this lifestyle to be a choice, or is it mandatory for Catholics?
 
Walking_Home said:
The “position as ruler” – speaks against the dignity and rights of the wife.
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That is not the Catholic understanding, as laid out in two Papal encyclicals. As Portrait stated, they were never abrogated or contradicted. I really have nothing else to say, so feel free to reply to this post but unless new information is presented, that will be all from me on this issue.
 
JackieMom said:
Would you say that families where the parents “rule” equally are doing something wrong, not adhering to Catholic teaching? Do you leave room for this lifestyle to be a choice, or is it mandatory for Catholics?
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The Catholic teaching is that the husband is the ruler of the family. That is explicit. What is not is what that means.
 
Baelor said:
It is a fact if you are Catholic, given that the teaching of the Church, in accordance with that of the Bible, is very clear.

Neither. A ruler as Christ is the ruler of the Church. Read the encyclical.

I am obviously unqualified to comment on the nature of your marriage, so I will not.
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Excluding priests, no man is acting as if he is Christ. All men and women should try to be Christlike. Obviously JPII did not read it.
 
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