The hidden secret conspiracy involving the mysteries surrounding Catholicism… finally revealed here!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jimmy_B
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
iaskquestions said:
If you observe it carefully, you’ll see the hidden number 666.

Note: Only faithful Catholics can see it.
Click to expand...
Actually, the number of the beast is 616…we have only changed it to divert those darned Bible-Christians from exposing us.

NOTE: Those who do not believe that 616 is the true number of the Beast are not true Bible Christians claiming direct descendance from the Bible Christians persecuted by the Catholic Church in the 2nd century for adhering to their gold-lined, leather bound King James Bibles…😛
 
patrick457 said:
Actually, the number of the beast is 616…we have only changed it to divert those darned Bible-Christians from exposing us.

NOTE: Those who do not believe that 616 is the true number of the Beast are not true Bible Christians claiming direct descendance from the Bible Christians persecuted by the Catholic Church in the 2nd century for adhering to their gold-lined, leather bound King James Bibles…😛
Click to expand...
KJV :rolleyes:
 
Here is a list of secrets for Catholics only, not to be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original “Jaws” story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO. (The Bible’s way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of alter servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.
 
Theodora said:
Here is a list of secrets for Catholics only, not to be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
Click to expand...
Oh no – now you’ve done it! A troop of armed Jesuit assassins will soon be coming on the doorstep of everyone who read your post (aided of course by that secret supercomputer within the bowels of the Vatican)! :eek: :rolleyes:
 
patrick457 said:
Oh no – now you’ve done it! A troop of armed Jesuit assassins will soon be coming on the doorstep of everyone who read your post (aided of course by that secret supercomputer within the bowels of the Vatican)! :eek: :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Scary…:eek:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top