I tried hard to make myself docile to the Holy Spirit when our former Priest, a charismatic, laid hands on me and prayed. Other than “resting” or being slain by the Holy Spirit, I did not notice much. But, over time, everything in my faith life changed. I lost my fear of speaking of the faith, developed a devotion to adoration of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, the Rosary, scripture reading, the divine Mercy Chaplet, evangelizing prisoners, handing out New Testaments, listening only to Catholic radio, regular confession.
All of this was to prepare me for what was to come. I now have amassed a “nightmare” medical resumé which includes two sinus surgeries, two back surgeries, two spinal fluid leaks (lumbar spine and brain), a knee surgery, three cancers, a stem cell transplant and now Graft-versus-Host-Disease from the transplant. And, because of myopia caused by long-term steroid use, I crashed my motorcycle, breaking my right shoulder and five right ribs into twelve pieces. I have been chosen to suffer, therefore, I am blessed!
How can this be? Well, as to the broken bones, it was just before Holy Week. Therefore, I had shoulder pain similar to what our Lord experienced carrying the cross, and rib pain where the lance was thrust through his side. Excruciating (the word stems from the cross) pain, but a truly spiritual connection with our Lord.
And where was the Holy Spirit in all of this?
Everywhere, every day.
Especially when I failed to notice.