The Mormon Archeology Shuffle

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We can laugh at ourselves. Many Mormons do not have that capacity. I just understood a nasty pun on another board, and pleaded “Catholic naiveté” :o 🙂
 
I got a fortune cookie a long time ago that I still carry in my wallet.

“A man who can laugh at himself, will never run out of things to laugh about”.
 
for atheists:

You take your logic out, you take your faith away
You believe in nothing but an empty death and science
and the values of the City by the Bay,
You’re dressed up with no place to go and nothing to hope for
That why atheists need our prayers even more!

JW’s or J-dubs as my friend calls them

You take Nicea out, you take orthodox Christology out
You won’t take a blood transfusion or fight in wars to help us out
You hate birthdays, read Watch Towers, go door to door
and hear a SLAM!
That what’s it all about, man!
 
If anyone is interested in the contradictory topic of Mormon archaeology, I suggest this book:
 
gurneyhalleck1 said:
We’ll be fair and compose some ditties for the Catholics and Anglicans:

You put some guilt in, invent some indulgences now,
Tell the people they’re not innovations and you shake the guilt around
You ordain a ton of permanent deacons cuz you don’t have any priests
That’s what Catholicism is all about!

!
Click to expand...
the next verse

put the statues in and the holy water font.
kneel and bow and act real devote.
priest, nuns, and laymen
we all come together and wave our rosaries all about

WE do the Holy rosary
we do the holy rosary
thats what its all about!
 
Your rhyme and meter are way off LOL
oneGODoneCHURCH said:
the next verse

put the statues in and the holy water font.
kneel and bow and act real devote.
priest, nuns, and laymen
we all come together and wave our rosaries all about

WE do the Holy rosary
we do the holy rosary
thats what its all about!
Click to expand...
 
oneGODoneCHURCH said:
the next verse

put the statues in and the holy water font.
kneel and bow and act real devout.
priest, nuns, and laymen
we all come together and wave our rosaries all about

WE do the Holy rosary
we do the holy rosary
thats what its all about!
Click to expand...
Hey! if we can’t laugh at ourselves, besides laughing at/with others, then we’re in BIG trouble!

PAX DOMINI :signofcross:

Shalom Aleichem
 
(Edited)

OK, now BACK on track re: Mormon Archeology ~ one of my Mormon friends took me to a program years ago at the local “Stake Center” (so glad I finally found out the right spelling, for years I thought it was a “Steak Center” and I didn’t understand how expensive beef fit into the whole Mormon thing!)

ANYWAY ~ at this program there was this guy (I don’t remember his name, sorry!) presenting his “archeological findings” ~ primarily that some sort of stone boxes had been found in South and Central America and therefore the Book of Mormon must be true. That was it. A stone box here & there & PRESTO CHANGE-O, the Book of Mormon is solid fact. I thought that was odd.

But one thing that is inescapable from this sort of presentation ~ Mormons DO depend on the Book of Mormon being factual. At least sometimes. Unless and until it isn’t.

Alternatively, on an entirely DIFFERENT archeological tangent, I have also heard Mormons speculate that the REAL REASON the texts of Dead Sea Scrolls have not been formally released in their entirety is that they prove that the Mormon church is true. So I guess “powerful” interests are suppressing the release. Only problem with THAT is that scholars have already pieced together most of the text from the bits and pieces already released and it doesn’t prove the Mormon church is true AT ALL.
 
Let your hair down a little Melanie. And by the way, I have experienced all those things! And so have a lot of folks I know!

Cheers

Gurney
MelanieAnne said:
On a slightly serious note ~ I’m a Catholic convert (originally Episcopalian) and I cannot personally relate to this part:

“You put some guilt in, invent some indulgences now,
Tell the people they’re not innovations and you shake the guilt around
You ordain a ton of permanent deacons cuz you don’t have any priests
That’s what Catholicism is all about!”

None of that squares with my experience. No guilt, no indulgences, no surfeit of permanent deacons. (We have 5 Priests at our parish, counting the Pastor.)

OK, now BACK on track re: Mormon Archeology ~ one of my Mormon friends took me to a program years ago at the local “Stake Center” (so glad I finally found out the right spelling, for years I thought it was a “Steak Center” and I didn’t understand how expensive beef fit into the whole Mormon thing!)

ANYWAY ~ at this program there was this guy (I don’t remember his name, sorry!) presenting his “archeological findings” ~ primarily that some sort of stone boxes had been found in South and Central America and therefore the Book of Mormon must be true. That was it. A stone box here & there & PRESTO CHANGE-O, the Book of Mormon is solid fact. I thought that was odd.

But one thing that is inescapable from this sort of presentation ~ Mormons DO depend on the Book of Mormon being factual. At least sometimes. Unless and until it isn’t.

Alternatively, on an entirely DIFFERENT archeological tangent, I have also heard Mormons speculate that the REAL REASON the texts of Dead Sea Scrolls have not been formally released in their entirety is that they prove that the Mormon church is true. So I guess “powerful” interests are suppressing the release. Only problem with THAT is that scholars have already pieced together most of the text from the bits and pieces already released and it doesn’t prove the Mormon church is true AT ALL.
Click to expand...
 
gurneyhalleck1 said:
Let your hair down a little Melanie. And by the way, I have experienced all those things! And so have a lot of folks I know!

Cheers

Gurney
Click to expand...
I just reported my experience! If ya’ll are riddled with guilt, worried about indulgences or overrun with permanent deacons, I’m just sayin’ I never saw the like! In my parish home, that’s not the way of things!

And I LOVE my parish!

But it’s not a criticism of your song, it’s just a FACT!

Cheers!
 
MelanieAnne said:
OK, now BACK on track re: Mormon Archeology ~ one of my Mormon friends took me to a program years ago at the local “Stake Center” (so glad I finally found out the right spelling, for years I thought it was a “Steak Center” and I didn’t understand how expensive beef fit into the whole Mormon thing!)
Click to expand...
Well, in a way it sort of does because the church owns Deseret Ranch, the largest beef ranch in the United States. It’s located in Florida.
 
MelanieAnne said:
On a slightly serious note ~ I’m a Catholic convert (originally Episcopalian) and I cannot personally relate to this part:

“You put some guilt in, invent some indulgences now,
Tell the people they’re not innovations and you shake the guilt around
You ordain a ton of permanent deacons cuz you don’t have any priests
That’s what Catholicism is all about!”

None of that squares with my experience. No guilt, no indulgences, no surfeit of permanent deacons. (We have 5 Priests at our parish, counting the Pastor.)
Click to expand...
I agree; it is not my experience either. What makes something funny is when something true is said with a twist at the end. When the premise is based on ahistorical drivel the humor just isn’t there.
 
First of all, we’re both Californians so drop the “y’all” LOL…sounds like Dallas talk to me! 😛 And I never said that us’allens are riddled with guilt, Catholic guilt is world famous and a common cliche. We were joking making little song diddies about different religions. You obviously have a very very serious sober personality that can’t let your hair down a little and laugh at a stereotype. Everyone else knew it was a stereotype and silly, light-hearted. Apparently you didn’t. Apologies if I stepped on your toes somehow. I will tell you right now that my perspective is that there is a super mega dose of Catholic guilt on this very forum day in, day out. People use guilt trips in here to folks who are non-Catholic or who have left Catholicism A LOT. It’s a real turn-off. I have had enough guilt trips directed at me just in the last week to kill a rhino.

I know you’re just “sayin’” (we’re folksy today like Sarah Palin! LOL) your experience. That’s fine and I respect that. I’m just not accustomed to this level of P.C.ness in here.

I’m actually VERY glad you like your parish. I wish I felt the same way about this parish and diocese as a whole. I can’t stand it. Honestly it has been a major stumbling block in me going back to Catholicism. My wife loathes it far more than me. The mere thought of going back to my Catholic parish makes me queezy. But truly, I’m glad you have a good experience. My chiropractor feels the same way about our diocese but he goes down to Orange County all the time with his in-laws and he swears up and down it’s the best parish he’s ever been to. I hear the same thing from folks in the midwest and back east. I’m envious. God bless.
MelanieAnne said:
I just reported my experience! If ya’ll are riddled with guilt, worried about indulgences or overrun with permanent deacons, I’m just sayin’ I never saw the like! In my parish home, that’s not the way of things!

And I LOVE my parish!

But it’s not a criticism of your song, it’s just a FACT!

Cheers!
Click to expand...
 
Ahistorical drivel? Give me a break. I bet it’s funny when it’s not the Catholic Church though, right? What is ahistorical about it? It was merely poking fun at a stereotype. Boy you hardcore Catholics, for largely being a bunch of no-nonsense republicans sure are P.C. and get your feelings hurt easily! wow wee!
Stephen168 said:
I agree; it is not my experience either. What makes something funny is when something true is said with a twist at the end. When the premise is based on ahistorical drivel the humor just isn’t there.
Click to expand...
 
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