The reason why young men are leaving the church

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The interesting thing about this topic and its participants is the contribution by women.

If this was a topic on…oh let’s say maybe “the reasons why young women abort…”…and there were men trying to contribute the topic…it would have taken 1 post by one man and we would have seen him shamed out of the forum because he was a man. 'What can you say on the topic…".

Not so with this topic…hmmm.
 
I think in my case it’s because I have a close male friend who has given up on church and I have spent years praying for his return. Logically I don’t see it happening.
 
What is the “pelvic issue”?
Just mentioning in the Bible about sins committed through sex? Discrimination based on gender?
 
Well good for you. Keep praying. You may not see some end result…but somewhere your prayer and faith and sacrifice is bringing some soul back to God. God doesn’t waste anything.

We cannot see how God is sorting out and giving graces…maybe just thank Him “ahead of time” for the return of some soul, maybe half way around in a village you’ll never see!
 
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ethereality said:
t refused to do so for me last Sunday), and we don’t see anything special when we go to church
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The greatest miracle in the history of man happens at every Mass.

The God of the Universe becomes present in the Eucharist in a Divine Condescension.

Failure to recognize this miracle has nothing to do with the priest. It has to do with an incorrect disposition of the heart.
 
Edward_H said:
The interesting thing about this topic and its participants is the contribution by women.
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Yes, because the guy seems to be blaming women for HIS OWN lack of participation in the church.

If a woman started a thread and said, “Young women drop out of church because it’s too male-dominated, women can’t be priests or deacons, women’s rights and women’s health are constantly shoved aside by the Church, etc.” are you telling me the men on this forum would not make a peep?

Grownups do not blame other people for their own failures to be active in the Church.
 
martinez7251 said:
I’m a male in my early 30s and I’m also catholic. I’ve noticed that over the years, I’ve found myself going to church only when I’ve had problems in my life and then I’ll stop going when all of my problems are solved and my life get better. I’ve also noticed that I’m not the only man that’s been doing this and the reason why I feel like men are doing this is because the modern church has become very feminized throughout the years.
…
If really feel like if priest were to read the entire bible and not skip around the politically incorrect stories, then more men will start to become passionate about God and the church.
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Ummm… pardon me for calling contradiction on you.
If you hauled yourself down to Mass more often, there would be that much more masculinity at Mass. Does that make sense?
Christian discipleship has little room for blame and excuses.

One problem is, many women are having to plead before God for their children and husbands without aid from their menfolk, who are supposed to be living Ephesians 5 instead of golfing.
“Love your wives as Christ loved the Church” (which is to the death, not when it suits you)
 
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Edward_H said:
Many men have left because they’ve sensed softness in the Church.
“everyone will go to heaven…I believe in a mercyGod”
“it’s not a sin anymore to do that”
“you don’t have to go to Confession (and now Mass)”
effeminate priests.
happy clappy Masses, focused on us!

Society is worse…men aren’t encouraged to “fill out in full their masculinity” in the proper sense anymore.

As a priest I know once said…we are born male or female, and it’s up to the men to grow in masculinity (a virtue), and up to the women to grow in femininity every day until we die.

Men want to be men, in the best and most demanding sense of the term.

If they see the Church going soft…they’re out.

But it’s our job to live our holy masculinity fully, faithfully, completely…being better friends to our friends, and the Holy Spirit will grab them by their privates and encourage them back to the Church for the right reasons: to love God and their families heroically.

I’ll get flamed by the faux feminist men here about being a neanderthal…but men are pretty darn simple beings. We respond well to the good and the strong.
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Wait a minute.
Christ could have done the macho thing and raised a heavenly army. He didn’t. He told Peter to put down his weapon. Peter fled rather than be receptive to God’s will. Maybe Christ was too receptive for him, too effeminate.

From the very beginning, men have been making excuses when plans fall apart. And then we flee, while women are left to “be there” when the going gets tough and the blood begins to drip.

The Church is strongly feminine (it is the Bride of Christ) for good reason. It is strongly masculine as well, but not separate from the feminine dimension.
 
I’d say if that were so, you have a problem with the zillions of women of the early Church. Can’t help you with your sisters. Maybe you could start a separate women only topic. Promise, I’ll stay out.

Agree with your first point.

For too many years too many men (not all) have lived a lukewarm faith…they haven’t been putting their shoulder into their faith, their marriage, their parenthood. It shows.

I had a conversation with a slightly younger acquaintance of mine…he was commiserating that is daughter doesn’t dress appropriately for Mass. I said: “have you discussed this with your wife? Have you made quiet but firm corrections to your daughter? Does your wife support your position?”

3 Nos.

I told him…this is squarely your fault and no one else’s. You need a plan to get back in saddle, quick. He looked at me like “how do I escape”.

Pusillanimity is a vice that men need to examine themselves on.
 
Someone always wants to distort manly into macho, in order to dismiss it. These people I leave in their errors.

Read the life of the great saints, of any saint and you will see what manly virtue is, what true masculinity is.

It’s not your distorted-for-a-cheap-I-can’t argue the deeper-point-reason macho.
 
Edward_H said:
I’d say if that were so, you have a problem with the zillions of women of the early Church. Can’t help you with your sisters. Maybe you could start a separate women only topic. Promise, I’ll stay out.
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Please understand, I am NOT proposing starting the topic. I have never felt like leaving the Church over anything I posted. It was a hypothetical example.

And you just proved my point by chiming in with “I’d say if that were so…” My point in making the example was not to start a debate over that topic (which frankly I could not care less about especially right this minute), but to note that if a woman started blaming men for why she and other women weren’t attending church, men would have plenty to say on the matter.

You nicely provided a wonderful example by responding in the first two lines of your post. I rest my case.
 
I agree with you that the bigger problem is that we men are not leading our families in matters of faith. I don’t know that this has caused the “feminization” of the Church. And, I really doubt that this is the biggest cause of young men leaving the Church.

I would guess that the biggest issues are that we have been poorly evangelized and poorly catechized. If I don’t believe that following Jesus is a good thing, I have no need for any religion. Even if I think following Jesus is a good thing, if I don’t have a good understanding of the sacrifice of the mass and what that does for me, I have no need for the Church. A young man is presented with an alternative of no God, free sex, pursuit of pleasure and goods. We’re not doing a good job showing men that God’s way is the better way.
 
I have a lot of sons…and they’ve formed my opinion on this.

Somewhere in a That Man is You session they introduced data on why children (not just boys/men) leave the Church…they said the strongest co-occurring factor was "did your father go to Sunday service/Mass (this wasn’t just a survey of Catholics).

Surprisingly the “stickiness” factor among the children (of fathers who went) was EVEN higher than if both parents when to service/Mass.

It was as if the contrast and importance got exaggerated! “If pop is still going without mamma…it must be important”.
 
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See my post to Lundy on the data presented in a That Man is You session I attended.
 
AlNg said:
In Islam, women wear headcovering not only in the mosque but generally at all times outside of the home. St. Paul says that women should wear headcovering in church but apparently Catholics do not follow that rule anymore, although at one time the rule was maintained.
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I hope you’re not suggesting that women’s lack of head covering in church, which incidentally is because the Vatican no longer requires us to wear it, or our lack of head covering in the general society, is somehow responsible for men leaving the church?
I’m really confused by your post.
 
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My previous post was not well-written. I agree that a lack of male modeling is the biggest cause of young men not sticking with the faith. I doubt that the “feminization” of the Church is the cause. (Unless you mean by feminization the lack of men leading their sons)
 
Hi Martinez,

I’m in my 50’s where I now have children in their 20’s and as I interact with them and their friends I don’t see political correctness being an issue, but rather in a simple lack of belief that they need God. They have their friends, school/job, boyfriend/girlfriend, and their own efforts…they’re doing fine without God. To me it’s a simple matter of importance. And I think it applies to both men and women. How important is God to you? How important is Jesus in your life? To many young people the answer to both questions is, “not so much” or “not at all”.

My belief is that before becoming passionate about something you first need to have strong belief in that something. And in order to believe you need to have deep knowledge about that something in order to make an informed decision. Today, I feel there are many Catholics (young and old) who can’t explain their faith yet alone defend it. And there are others who don’t believe in the authority of the Church and pick and choose what they believe in. How can you be passionate about something you don’t quite understand or fully believe in? Think about anything that you’re passionate about. I bet that you are extremely knowledgeable, have strong opinions, and participate in some way with what you’re passionate about. Then ask yourself are you that same way with your faith?

Knowledge about our Catholic faith will lead to conviction that the Catholic Church is truly the Church Jesus built and protected. Once you have that confidence then you can work toward passion and for me it was embracing fully the Mass. Understanding the components of the Mass, recognizing the greatest miracle at the Consecration, and then being humbled and blessed to consume the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ. I/We are not worthy and yet Jesus makes it so by His Word. For me, it wasn’t until I was 100% confident in the Church that I could then become a passionate Catholic who willingly defends and promotes the faith and attends daily Mass as often as possible.

If you have any questions please let me know. God bless!!

-Ernie-
 
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