Because none of us can judge the heart of another. We can judge actions in the light of God’s unchangeable moral truth (for example, the Commandment says that it is wrong to lie, so when a person deliberately misrepresents oneself, we see that as a moral wrong), but we cannot know the intentions and knowledge of another.
For example, a person may claim to be Catholic, sincerely not knowing, or not believing that it is not a vialble option to be a “cafeteria” Catholic. Such a person may be preserved from some culpability for their wrongdoing through their ignorance.
Of course, if such a one became informed that their actions were wrong, then they would have the repsonsiblity to act upon that information.
No, because we are all held to the same standard you are. It does not come from within the individual, but from the Revelation of God. We all fall short in many ways, and to the extent we fall short of Catholicity, yet claim to be Catholic, we are all culpable.
No one here has judged you, Tweety. We have objected to the content of your posts, and your public claim to be Catholic while rejecting the Catholic faith. I am the first to admit that what one speaks is that which fills the heart, and that your public rebellion against God’s appointed authority expressed in these forums accurately represents your rebellious heart, I am still not in a position to judge that, only God is. I also see that you survived the trauma in your life by clinging to rebellion against authority, so it is difficult now, even though you are not being abused anymore, to find a different way of being in the world. It is hard to let go of old ways of doing things, even when they are not needed anymore.