The way people dress to Mass

[kentuckyliz]

When I’ve done door to door evangelization work, I’ve encountered people who will never set foot in a church again because they were socially rejected by the fashion show crowd who dress too fancy for church. They wanted to send signals of social class and it made the poor visitors feel ashamed.

I would rather someone be at church inappropriately dressed than not at all. Let’s not pretend that God’s love is conditional on our clothing.

 

[Mystic_Banana]

In many ways, I think a dress code based on smartness would be counter to the anti-materialist aspect of Catholic spirituality. There is pride in being well dressed, and humility in not doing so. There are parables about this kind of stuff…

If there is anything that requires a dress code, it would be about modesty. Otherwise… no.

 

[The_Reginator]

My question would be, if you were invited to the White House to meet the President, would you go as you are? In jeans or shorts etc.? I doubt it. Why would one give more honor to a mere man than to God.

Is it not far more important to dress up for God than to dress well for work?
Why do people dress up for a job interview but are willing to wear jeans (without reason that is) when in the Real Presence of Our Lord and Saviour?

Dressing up can help us to more fully appreciate the fact that it is Almighty God Himself that we are receiving at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

I’m not used to dressing up. I will, however, at least put on a dress shirt and tie along with dress pants for Mass. (Unless, of course, it is not possible due to circumstances. Then I just feel embarrassed and pray harder.)

 

[PA650]

A useful image regarding this discussion:



theanti-modernist.blogspot.com/2011/02/modesty-of-dress-and-dress-codes-in.html

 

[StTommyMore]

You should stay home and you should buy more appropriate clothes or you should gut off your bum and do your laundry. Many saints talk about the importance of going to Mass dressed appropriately. You are going to be in front of GOD Himself. Your dress can distract others around you and being distracted during Mass no small offence to God neither is being the cause of the distraction. Also inappropriate dress can be many things. Clothing that is not modest is the biggest insult to God, but those who dress too fancy and those who dress with no care for what they have on also insult God.

This is not a charitable post at all. Not having expensive dress clothes is not a valid reason for failing to meet your Sunday obligation, and to suggest that it is is arrogant.

 

[jj_nycguy]

When I’ve done door to door evangelization work, I’ve encountered people who will never set foot in a church again because they were socially rejected by the fashion show crowd who dress too fancy for church. They wanted to send signals of social class and it made the poor visitors feel ashamed.

I would rather someone be at church inappropriately dressed than not at all. Let’s not pretend that God’s love is conditional on our clothing.

Missing Mass because of being socially rejected, because of modest dress, is not a reason to miss Mass and is a mortal sin. One unconfessed mortal sin and they will not have to explain this to God because they will not see Him. My advise, find another Catholic Church regardless of distance. This is just another excuse that people use to miss Mass or dress immodestly.

 

[fud24682000]

There have been a couple of mentions of dressing “too fancy”. I’d like to know what that means.
My wife and I wear our “Sunday best” as it used to be called in the old days. This includes my wife always wearing a hat. We like to think she, especially, is having a positive effect since more women now wear hats to the Mass we attend.
People with limited means can go to a thrift shop and get decent clothes–no excuse there.
I resent seeing an usher in jeans, a lector with a jacket on that has “Hard Rock Cafe” inscribed on it and an EMHC with his shirt hanging out. It’s up to these people to set an example for the rest of the congregation, and they often don’t.
What’s changed since the old days?
Certainly the Mass and the Eucharist deserve as much respect as ever, even if many of our institutions no longer.do.
I take the parable of the man who did not have on a wedding garment lterally and seriously.
Ray Mac.

 

[freerf]

So if a homeless man came in off the street to attend mass, dressed in rags, would he be rejected because of his dress, or smell? Something is wrong with that.

If you were to attend His Passion, Jesus on the cross, what is appropriate to wear? A tie? Jeans? A suit? Obviously, the question is absurd. And so is this question about what to wear in the presence of God. I think God is more concerned with your heart than your dress. It’s your neighbor who’s concerned with dress, not God.

What did God say to Moses? Take off your shoes, you’re on holy ground. should we be doing that too?

Now, is it polite to dress nicely? Yes. But should it be required. Never. There are still poor people in this world, homeless people, and I think the bible says something about serving them.

Mark 7:15 “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man”

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Why is this such a red button issue?

Because so many of us are sure we have the ‘right’ answer?

Because so many of us feel righteous one way or the other?

Because so many of us have either lost or freely rejected any idea of dressing for ANY occasion (not just Mass) in any way other than what ‘we want’?

Because so many of us try to pick out the extremes and present them as ‘reality?’

Because some truly are "the fashion police’ and look down on ‘poor attire’. . .
Because some truly are "the elitist police’ and look down on ‘fancy duds’. . .
Because some truly are judgmental and look down on 'anything which isn’t what <> wear, whether it is ‘fancy’ or ‘plain’?

Any or all of the above. . .

and a whole lot of other ‘but but but’ on either ‘side’ of the issue, presented with ever escalating vitriol and invective and self-righteousness from BOTH sides??

You know, I’ve been on most ‘sides’ of this. I’ve been the "lazy’ mom who not only ‘let’ her children come to church in jeans but came in sweats herself. . .
I’ve also been the mom in dress and chapel veil leading the ‘dressed up’ children.
I’ve been the woman who spent months and years wearing semi-uniform ‘skirt and blouse’. . .and also the woman in clean pressed jeans and fleece top.

MOST of the time, I neither thought to myself, “Dang God, this is how I wanna dress, so be grateful I’m just there” NOR did I think, “Humpf. If <> could take a little trouble to dress appropriately, why can’t the slobs around me.”. . .

RATHER, I was either apologetic (“Gee, God, I really should have spent more effort/ or I WISH I had had the time rather than be cleaning up after 3 kids with the flu”) or simply unconscious of others’ appearance. ("Well, Lord, we in our family wanted to look nice for you and thank you for your help in getting us there, now let’s focus on worshipping you wholeheartedly).

So I think that the vast majority of people are really not out there trying to either out hobo the hoboes or trying to act like Lady and Lord Snootytooty when they are either dressing ‘down’ or ‘up’.

Rather, I think a lot relates to circumstance.

And I think a lot of the posters who try to defend either ‘side’ are feeling a bit defensive. Which is kind of sad.

I wish people would dress more for occasions (not solely at Mass) but it won’t happen so long as people try to turn it into a “you are such an ELITIST how DARE you not consider the poor.”

And I wish people would not turn a ‘judgmental’ eye on the down dressers as this could be a ‘temporary’ phase. The woman in ‘sweats’ might be mortified that for some reason (bad or good) she was ‘in sweats’ and the other 51 Sundays of the years she might be dressed in a suit! We don’t know all the answers.

If instead of sneering at the ‘others’ BOTH sides were more considerate of the others’ feelings we’d probably start seeing a lot more similarity in dress coming along.

Because “dressier” clothing doesn’t have to be ‘uncomfortable’. And ‘comfortable’ clothing doesn’t have to be ‘sloppy’. So both ‘sides’ could actually wind up at some point wearing the same clothing happily, the one side feeling ‘dressed up’ and the other side smiling, 'now this is comfortable!"

 

[catharina]

Why is this such a red button issue?

Because so many of us are sure we have the ‘right’ answer?

Because so many of us feel righteous one way or the other?

Because so many of us have either lost or freely rejected any idea of dressing for ANY occasion (not just Mass) in any way other than what ‘we want’?

Because so many of us try to pick out the extremes and present them as ‘reality?’

Because some truly are "the fashion police’ and look down on ‘poor attire’. . .
Because some truly are "the elitist police’ and look down on ‘fancy duds’. . .
Because some truly are judgmental and look down on 'anything which isn’t what <> wear, whether it is ‘fancy’ or ‘plain’?

Any or all of the above. . .

and a whole lot of other ‘but but but’ on either ‘side’ of the issue, presented with ever escalating vitriol and invective and self-righteousness from BOTH sides??

You know, I’ve been on most ‘sides’ of this. I’ve been the "lazy’ mom who not only ‘let’ her children come to church in jeans but came in sweats herself. . .
I’ve also been the mom in dress and chapel veil leading the ‘dressed up’ children.
I’ve been the woman who spent months and years wearing semi-uniform ‘skirt and blouse’. . .and also the woman in clean pressed jeans and fleece top.

MOST of the time, I neither thought to myself, “Dang God, this is how I wanna dress, so be grateful I’m just there” NOR did I think, “Humpf. If <> could take a little trouble to dress appropriately, why can’t the slobs around me.”. . .

RATHER, I was either apologetic (“Gee, God, I really should have spent more effort/ or I WISH I had had the time rather than be cleaning up after 3 kids with the flu”) or simply unconscious of others’ appearance. ("Well, Lord, we in our family wanted to look nice for you and thank you for your help in getting us there, now let’s focus on worshipping you wholeheartedly).

So I think that the vast majority of people are really not out there trying to either out hobo the hoboes or trying to act like Lady and Lord Snootytooty when they are either dressing ‘down’ or ‘up’.

Rather, I think a lot relates to circumstance.

And I think a lot of the posters who try to defend either ‘side’ are feeling a bit defensive. Which is kind of sad.

I wish people would dress more for occasions (not solely at Mass) but it won’t happen so long as people try to turn it into a “you are such an ELITIST how DARE you not consider the poor.”

And I wish people would not turn a ‘judgmental’ eye on the down dressers as this could be a ‘temporary’ phase. The woman in ‘sweats’ might be mortified that for some reason (bad or good) she was ‘in sweats’ and the other 51 Sundays of the years she might be dressed in a suit! We don’t know all the answers.

If instead of sneering at the ‘others’ BOTH sides were more considerate of the others’ feelings we’d probably start seeing a lot more similarity in dress coming along.

Because “dressier” clothing doesn’t have to be ‘uncomfortable’. And ‘comfortable’ clothing doesn’t have to be ‘sloppy’. So both ‘sides’ could actually wind up at some point wearing the same clothing happily, the one side feeling ‘dressed up’ and the other side smiling, 'now this is comfortable!"

Beautiful post, tantum ergo.
Beautiful insights.

Don’t we dress modestly and in clean clothes as our circumstance allows?
That’s sufficient. Why criticize those who dress up or those who dress simply?

 

[The_Reginator]

What I find to be poor etiquette is when people don’t seem to have the decency to take off their coats and leave them on during the entirety of Mass, or before service even ends they start rushing to put their coats on. Seriously, since when were coats considered an actual item of clothing? I thought they were “outerwear”?

I stumbled across this more than a year ago. Your post reminded me, so I searched it out:
Why no coat racks in Catholic churches?

 

[spunjalebi]

My church has coat racks. People are just lazy.

 

[kentuckyliz]

Some big stone churches are cold.

I go to a little mission parish but I think someone forgot to turn up the heat this morning. I had to keep my wrap on!

 

[catharina]

Some big stone churches are cold.

I go to a little mission parish but I think someone forgot to turn up the heat this morning. I had to keep my wrap on!

Agree completely.
Spent my earlier yrs in churches in Chicago,
northern Kentucky and St. Louis. The churches were usually
very cold in winter. I never saw a single coat rack. Racks would
never have been used. People needed to keep their outerwear on them!

 

[freerf]

No one who seems to support the dress code can seem to give one reason why God should or does care. People care, but not God. Because the idea that God concerns himself with what I am wearing on a particular Sunday (and not where my heart is) is totally absurd. God judges man’s heart, not his clothes.

Certainly, if you are wearing provocative clothes to bring attention to yourself, God cares. But again, he cares about the heart here, not the clothes.

It is courteous to wear nice clothes, but let us not think it goes well beyond that.

 

[spunjalebi]

My church has adequate heat, along with the other churches I’ve visited. There’s also plenty of coat racks. People just don’t utilize them and would rather keep them on during service, this way they can just leave right after they take communion. Very rude!

It’s one thing if your church is ice cold and that’s how it is-- but when your church has modern conveniences of good heat and coat racks, take coats off. JMO.

 

[archangel04]

When I’ve done door to door evangelization work, I’ve encountered people who will never set foot in a church again because they were socially rejected by the fashion show crowd who dress too fancy for church. They wanted to send signals of social class and it made the poor visitors feel ashamed.

I would rather someone be at church inappropriately dressed than not at all. Let’s not pretend that God’s love is conditional on our clothing.

There usually more than that, but they would never tell you the complete truth. What would you say to an attractive female that dresses imodostly and causes other men at Church to sin for lusting over her? She has helped fellow brothers fall into sin.

 

[ConstantineTG]

I know some of you think that certain dresses are not appropriate for mass. Recently some local churches in city where I live begin to make official rules about dress code for attending mass.

I think that such step is very unwise, because attending mass is more important than how to dress for the mass.

Supposedly I have used up all my “polite” clothes during work days, I haven’t got any chance to do my laundry yet, should I come to mass with my “inappropriate” clothes, or should I just stay home?

This is just one example where “Traditionalist mind” could override what’s important with what’s not.

Good point. But some people don’t make an effort at all to dress modestly to Mass. Perhaps being more conscious about saving something for Mass. You don’t have to look like you’re going to a formal event. Just as long as you don’t look like you’re going to the beach.

 

[francisca]

So the words are : decent but not too fancy, modest but must be your best dress (since you’re meeting The King). If you re poor, you may come “as you are”, and please no coat racks, and no smell.

After all of the above, let’s come back to the question: will dress-code hinder some people to come to mass occasionally?

I was in Bali in december. I went to the local parish church for Christmas mass. I chose my dress so that I would “blend”. When I arrived, despite the modest cloth I bought there in local shop, I still get their stare. Their clothes were similar to what I am wearing, but much more worn and not so clean. Moreover we’re the only family came by car. I do not think they have official dress code.

Some of you talk about the poor difficulty in rich parish. How about the opposite? Supposedly there is extremely wealthy family happen to live in “middle class” parish. Supposedly the lady love fashion, so she has a wardrobe full of branded clothes. But very often she decide that she change her mind about going to mass because she has no decent clothes to wear. The same thing also happen before party, starring at her party dresses, she decide that she has no appropriate party dress to wear.

There are people who are afraid of “what people would think of me”. They may be rich maybe poor.
These may decide not to go to mass because of dress code. Among them maybe “the most hungry of acceptance” people, the lost sheeps Jesus invite. Meanwhile the dress talk become meaner and meaner…

How’s that?

 

[Heliotropium]

This is not a charitable post at all. Not having expensive dress clothes is not a valid reason for failing to meet your Sunday obligation, and to suggest that it is is arrogant.

Its not arogant since the poster said their clothes were inappropriate. I have given evidence from the Saints that attending mass dressed inappropriatly is something that should not be done since they apporach our Lord while at the same time insulting Him with their dress. I also did not tell the poster that they had to have expensive clothing. I said modest clothing and in fact I think I even cautioned against fancy and expensive clothing as also being inappropriate. My stance is taken from the advise of the Saints and If you think you know God better than a Saints then I would think again. They are Saints for a reason my friend. The account given by one of the Saints I posted said the Our Lord left the Host becuse He was so offended by the womans dress. Now do you think she fullfiled her Sunday obligation without mortal sin?

Furthermore the only thing this poster should blame for missing Mass because of their dress is themselves. They stated that they used all their clothes for the week and did not do laundry. Laundry! You cant tell me that in the entire week there was no time to wash their appropriate clothes so then they could attend Mass?