Things I'm looking foward to do at my KIDS house when they are older

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After today I have TWO more things to add:
  1. I am going to Break into their house in the middle of the nite and crawl into their bed and use their head as a pillow.
  2. I am going to go to mass and pretend I am spider man and shoot webs out of my arms at the priest during the consecration of the Eucharist.
 
I have nothing to add at this time, but I have thoroughly enjoyed the comments. 🙂

DGB
 
JillianRose said:
  1. I am going to go to mass and pretend I am spider man and shoot webs out of my arms at the priest during the consecration of the Eucharist.
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Now this is starting to sound like my youngest…
  1. Go to Mass, jump all over the pews, bang my head against the pew so loud it sounds like a gunshot, then yell out “Owww…I just banged my bowling ball head!”
  2. When the cantor is done singing, yell out as loud as possible “He’s done!”
  3. When walking in the rectory and seeing the Crucifix, yell out “He’s naked!” (Yes, that was embarrassing).
 
When an overnight guest is sleeping in the family room on the floor in a sleeping bag I will go in at about 6:30am pull the sleeping bag off his head put my face very close to his and say very loudly “Cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes!!”.
 
Light their curtains on fire.

Open the door on their car as they drive into the garage nearly tearing it off.

Give their dog a weird haircut.

Drop their lap top a couple times, and if it doesn’t break drop it again to see if it will.

Tell their inlaws that they hid their liquor before they showed up.

Ask why they yell all the time.

:rolleyes:
 
I just thought of something I’d like to do to my grandchildren (say when they’re teenagers):

At 5am, when they are still fast asleep, fling open the bedroom door and say, happily, “Morning!”

When they grump at me, as teenagers, disturbed from sleep are apt to do, remind them that when they did that to me, I’d roll over and say, happily, “Morning my darling, come and snuggle here with me!”
 
If they decide to go out for a couple of hours I will slowly tear up or look horrified. I will them interrogate them on where on earth they think they’re going without me. I will be persuaded to let them go but only after repeated hugs and kisses and waving into the distance. On their return I will yell “They’re back!!” at the top of my lungs and I will race my siblings to the door and fall on the returnee as if we were parted for years saying “I missed you SOOOOO much”.
 
I will lock them out on the deck, begin crying hysterically and fumble with the lock until they jump off the deck in desperation and circle the house. When they come back in I will wail, “But you left me!”

I will take the keys. When asked what I did with them I will answer “I took them out for a walk.” When asked why I will tell them “I can’t remember, but it was VERY important.”

During a festive Christmas party, I will run screaming into the room, stop in front of an important guest and vomit at her feet.

On a separate occassion I will eat a hearty brunch and vomit in their lap.

I will tell any smoker that comes to the house that they will DIE and look expectantly at them, waiting for that person to drop any second.
 
I will wait until all the guests have arrived at the party in my honour.

Then I will somehow need a bath.

I will escape the tub and run nekkid into the living room, laughing.

My children will be horrified and yell at me to go get some clothes on.

…So I’ll run out and get a baseball hat on and run back in.
 
Here’s a new one I just learned today!

Swinging 2’ long Twizzlers in a circle so fast that it breaks and lands 20’ away on the couch!
 
Can you guys invite me along so I can watch this. I’ll play along. 😉
 
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