Thoughts on 53% Divorce Rate?

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Eric_Hyom said:
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JanSobieskiIII:
It’s economically beneficial for women to seek divorce. Our court system rewards it.
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Tragically, it is not economically beneficial for America. The breakdown of families can lead to huge problems and depression.
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Spot on.

Splitting up gives your kids a lower probability at “winning” in life.

I think a lot of it is this Disney-based perspective a lot of folks have on marriage.
 
We’re certainly bickering as if we’re married.

But I love @brian_custer too much. I can’t imagine life without him.
 
A culture built on divorce is decayed and will fall. A culture is just a large grouping of families. If the individual parts are broken then the culture is. Ultimately divorce is about selfishness. It is no surprise that a selfish culture will collapse. It is no surprise that selfish people would be so willing to harm their own children in pursuit of their own happiness.
 
Poor spending habits?

I kid.

But, between child support and alimony and government assistance a single woman can basically get paid to stay home. I’ve seen it happen.

The state has replaced the role of husband/father in the minds of a lot of poor women.
 
I’m a child of divorced parents & I didn’t commit suicide or act like an idiot like some of you.

It’s easy to judge others without listening to each person’s history.

My grandparents were married for about 50 years before my grandfather passed away last year.

They took me & my mom in their house.

You see how normal I am because of them.

My life is full of joy and happiness with a great sense of humor.

I don’t care about the statistics because at the end of the day… it can’t define who I am 😘
 
Yes, more women file for divorce, but sometimes because they have to to protect their assets for their children. Two women I knew were the ones who filed, but in each case, the husband was literally losing his mind and unwilling to do something about it (one through a neuro-degenerative disease, the other through mental illness). Neither was on government support.

However, I have also known women who divorced their husbands for apparently light reasons who said they could do it because of the government support.

I think that men are reluctant to go in that direction because they have more to lose than the women do.
 
Sure thing!

It’s a little bit more complicated than that, but my antennae started to twitch at the idea that Russia has a low divorce rate.
 
Sexual revolution maybe.

Porn, rampant pre martial sex and all of that ruins marriages. Once you see marriage as a contract or just a symbolic event for your love, it’s very easy to justify divorce.
Seagull said:
Curiously, 78% of the women -

are the ones who are seeking separation, for whatever reason.
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Honestly, who is seeking a divorce is not really relevant. I could seek a divorce but it could also mean that my husband was the one who ruined the marriage. The statistic is meaningless if we don’t look at the reasons for divorce.
 
We live in a culture that praises instant gratification. When the going gets tough, people are inclined to drop it and find someone new.
 
I’m sure there are many reasons that affect it.

Also I know this is a common argument but I’m sure many women in the past didn’t get divorces because of the consequences back then. Now it’s easier to leave.
 
A lot of the comments I’m reading here are blanket generalizations re who and why divorce occurs.
My oldest daughter,44 years old ,in a horribly dysfunctional marriage for 16 years,just filed for divorce a few months ago.She is the one who will be paying alimony,etc.Her reasons for ending this marriage are valid and way too complicated to go into here. Seriously,those of us who love and care for her are so grateful she is getting out of this marriage.Prayers answered for sure.
 
Sure. Their economic survival depended on it more in previous generations
 
Annie said:
Two women I knew were the ones who filed, but in each case,
the husband was literally losing his mind
and unwilling to do something about it.
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I don’t know why, but that made me smile 😀

Then it’s to stand ( for the man ) in court, before a woman judge !

I know a few guys - who wives simply picked up their phones - called the police -
The man, shocked, escorted out of the house -
and not allowed anywhere near it - period.
Imagine that. Left homeless. That fast.

Anyways, I saw the divorce rates around the world, on a website -
Cant trust stats, I guess.
 
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Sure. But for every more legitimate divorce like the one you describe, there are a 100 where they basically just quit.

And I think you sorta know that.
 
Eric_Hyom said:
It’s economically beneficial for women to seek divorce. Our court system rewards it.

Tragically, it is not economically beneficial for America. The breakdown of families can lead to huge problems and depression.
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In many cases staying in a horribly marriage can also cause problems and depression.Each situation is unique.Easy for those of us in long viable marriages to cast aspersions and opinions upon those who may be suffering daily in a dysfunctional reltionship.
 
There really is no exact way to count the “divorce rate”. A ratio of divorces to weddings in 2017 is comparing two very different age groups. In the US, and perhaps other countries, the birth rate has varied considerably over the years. The ratio is not really helpful. You are comparing groups of different size, who may get married, on average, at very different ages. (Age of marriage is higher than a decade or two ago).

Many people are in what are either official relationships - civil partnerships - or unofficial relationships - living together. I suspect this varies a lot from country to country, and I don’t know if they even try to count the official relationships, such as entering or dissolving civil partnerships. Furthermore the whole same sex marriage issue throws off the data.

The reality is that marriage is under severe attack. As a Catholic I am disturbed by what seems the lack of response to this issue in my diocese.
 
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JanSobieskiIII said:
But, between child support and alimony and government assistance a single woman can basically get paid to stay home. I’ve seen it happen.
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I’m sure you’ve seen it happen, but the statistics are rather different.


“The labor force participation rate—the percent of the population working or looking for work—for all
women with children under age 18 was 70.5 percent in 2016. The participation rate for married mothers
(67.9 percent) remained lower than the rate for mothers with other marital statuses (76.0 percent).”

2/3 of married mothers are in the workplace, whereas 3/4 of other mothers are in the workplace.

In other words, women have (unsurprisingly) a better shot at being able to SAHM within marriage.

" Among mothers with infants, the participation rate of married mothers was lower than the rate of mothers with other marital statuses—57.6 percent versus 60.8 percent."

That’s a small difference but, again, married mothers have the edge.

Also, alimony has largely gone the way of the dodo.

http://time.com/money/4116161/alimony-reform-spousal-support/

“Only 3% of around 400,000 alimony recipients are male, according to the 2010 census, up 0.5% since 2000.”

That’s 400,000 alimony recipients in a nation of 325.7 million. That’s barely more than 1 American in 1,000 receiving alimony.
JanSobieskiIII said:
The state has replaced the role of husband/father in the minds of a lot of poor women.
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Yes, but poor women tend not to get married at all, because it’s genuinely not a good financial deal.

A poor husband can’t provide health insurance, but the government can.

https://www.usnews.com/news/newsgra...reau-links-poverty-with-out-of-wedlock-births

“Coupling statistics for the percentage of women without a high school degree in a state and the state’s median income “explains about 67 percent” of out-of-wedlock births, according to the report.”

“By educational attainment, 57 percent of women without a high school degree were unmarried when they gave birth, compared to 8.8 percent of women with a bachelor’s degree or more. The percentages for women with just a high school degree and some college fell between the two.”

"Data revealed a significant link between income and out-of-wedlock births. Of women making less than $10,000 who gave birth in the previous year, 68.9 percent were not married. That statistic dropped progressively going up the household income ladder, with a 9 percent rate for households earning more than $200,000 a year.

“The report pulls from the Census Bureau’s poverty count, which may overestimate the poverty rate by overlooking cohabiting couples. According to last week’s report, up to 40 percent of all children will live in a cohabiting household by age 12. A 1998 study by the University of Michigan - which is posted on the Census Bureau’s website - calculated a possible four percent overestimate of the national poverty rate in the 1990 Census by not treating cohabitators who pool resources as family units.”
 
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