Threading the needle on LGBT issues

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Thorolfr said:
All the stuff about a hormone imbalance in the mother’s womb causing or contributing to homosexuality is just a theory like many other theories that try to explain homosexuality.
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I certainly wasn’t proposing it as THE singular explanation of homosexuality. I think there are a variety of different explanations in each case. I think there is a genetic component, in many cases. I think there are social causes, though it’s difficult to figure out what those causes are. (I don’t think people should simplistically say that it is always a matter of a distant father or a lack of male friendships). And I think that the well-documented correlation between sexual abuse in childhood and adult homosexuality in men may be another causal factor – though I’m sure you disagree.

But essentially, I agree with you that “the jury’s still out”.
Thorolfr said:
And there is no clear evidence that without the social stress that most LGBT people experience, they would still experience higher rates of mental illness than straight people just because of their sexual orientation alone.
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You’re right about that, too. But curiously, hardly any studies seem to be designed to dispel this notion. And those who would propose to study it in an unbiased way would almost certainly be accused of homophobia.
 
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The “B” in LGBT is the letter I most do not understand. If one is homosexual L or G, the premise is that those individuals are not attracted to the opposite sex (if you’ll accept this as the premise). But B is. If one is a christian who, through practice of their faith, chooses not to act on this attraction, how is this hardship, if you will, any different than the married man or woman who chooses not to act on their attraction of all the other men or women in the world who are not their spouse?

A married individual battles (to whatever degree) the temptation to act on their biological impulses. How is this more difficult in any way for the B?
 
The irony is that I don’t have any particular trouble controlling myself. What I do have is a bully pulpit via my hobby writing where I’ve been trying to make a point to include a Catholic character and happily married people lately. (If anybody knows what fanfic is, I have a decent sized audience) and I also have a small charity donation budget. In short, I might be well placed to serve as a “bridge between worlds” and to help the community where it needs help, if I can figure out how to do that without scandalizing people on one side or the other, which is what my original rant was about
 
Doesn’t mean you can choose the person you fall for. If you’re a woman and you have strong feelings for ‘Jim’ but society tells you it’s much more appropriate for you to want to be with ‘Joe’ that doesn’t mean you just transfer your hetero feelings from Jim to Joe.
 
It’s not that it’s more difficult per se, it’s that it’s often not understood how we can be attracted to both. From the secular side, we should just give in and see whomever we want. From the religious side, we’re hedonists who will cheat on our spouse the first chance we get. Honestly this type of attitude is so pervasive in society…bisexuality is often misunderstood.
 
It’s no more misunderstood as other departures from one-man, one-woman conjugal unions.

multiple partners
open marriages
premarital sex
sex with animals
sex with no longer living persons.
sex with bondage
fantasy plays
sex with robots
swapping
I could go on and sully these pages, but I won’t.

there’s a whole raft of deviations from one-man, one-woman conjugal unions.

We need to better understand how unique a true conjugal union was meant to be, not wander down barren pathways.
 
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We realize that the same sex attraction is disordered…we get it. This is akin to beating a person when he/she is already down. Please just stop. What the OP is dealing with is fear. It’s a real problem. Yes, it’s a cross but for some reason people feel the need to harp on and on about it…do we beat people down repeatedly who struggle with compulsive lying or porn addiction or blasphemy/cursing or a multitude of other sins?
 
I get it man. I got the same problem. it’s not something you need to share with people. I don’t go to my job and tell people I’m a porn addict.
 
cobbet said:
I get it man. I got the same problem. it’s not something you need to share with people. I don’t go to my job and tell people I’m a porn addict.
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Do you think that anyone here would introduce themselves, saying, “Hi, I’m ____ and I’m bisexual”? That’s nuts. It’s about bringing the topic up when it is relevant.
 
Ok, fair enough. But as Prodigal_Son said, it comes up when it’s relevant. The OP needs some support. I sincerely hope he’s found it. I know I have,…this thread has been very therapeutic for me, so thank you to everyone! It really is nice to be able to talk about this with others who understand 🙂
 
Edward_H said:
The game here of creating a chasm between attraction and activity is just political game; it’s not an act of science.
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It is neither. It is an act of chastity! Those who experience same sex attraction that want to comply with the teachings of Jesus acknowledge that attraction may occur, while activity does not. Your conflation of the two creates a lack of support to those who struggle with this cross. It is detrimental.
Edward_H said:
The imagination has been misued used for thousands of years.
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Perhaps since the beginning of humanity. And I do agree with your points about sinning with the imagination. However, an attraction occurs outside of human imagination, so faulting those who experience this is contrary to Church Teaching.

Perhaps heterosexuals do not ever dream about having sexual contact with same sex persons, but homosexual and bisexual people do .
 
I guess my point was, why isn’t this a (said respectfully) a just-get-over-it thing? Much like the married man/woman is expected to just-get-over-it if he/she has an attraction to the person across the street.

I think we can perhaps feel some level of sympathy for the gay man who (as we are to understand) has absolutely no attraction to the opposite sex and thus wants to remain faithful and obedient to his Catholic faith. This means he goes without physical intimacy. But the bisexual man still has 3.5 billion potential partners (of course you need to filter out age appropriateness and many other attributes. But the number is still huge). He must pass on the other 3.5 billion. Hardly a recipe for sympathy. Hence, just-get-over-it .

I admit there is probably something here I just do not understand.
 
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And that should tell an intelligent person something consequential, albeit against the political tide.
 
Mijoy2 said:
I admit there is probably something here I just do not understand.
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I think so. One thing I would mention is this: insofar as I am attracted to women, I have an almost insatiable craving to be loved in that unique way that only a woman can love – and involved in that is being loved by a woman in her fullness, body included. I get that from my wife, thank God! 🙂

But insofar as I am attracted to men, I have an equally almost insatiable craving to be loved in that unique way that only a man can love – and involved in that is being loved by a man in his fullness, body included. I can never have that. Thus, in a certain restricted way, I experience something that must be similar to what an unmarried person feels, or to what a priest or a nun feels, or (yes) to what a gay person feels. There is an intense sexual craving that I have that may or may not subside (I hope it does!), but that can only be satisfied by sin.

Does that help explain?
 
Yes it does.
Although I cannot even begin to imagine it (being heterosexual) I can appreciate it.

Thanks for the response.
 
After reading all the responses from everyone on this thread about sexual activity I am surprised anyone knows what is going on. You gave me a very respectful answer to my question and I thank you for that. I have been thinking about the triggers etc but I don’t think I will ever have the power to stop the desires I have. A lot of it stems from the fact I was sexually molested long-term as a child by a friend of my mother’s and father’s and I never got any help. Please don’t tell me to get it now. I am too old. ( Back than sex is something you didn’t talk about) and when my mother found out what happened to me…she was just embarrassed that people in the town found out. It messed up my life. If you know anything about childhood sexual abuse it not uncommon for the victim to have addictions and have all kinds of sexual problems. I hated all men for a while than went to women and found they could be just as messed up. So ended up going both ways and have led a painful immoral lifestyle. I tried to return to the church but just can’t bring myself to go to confession again when I don’t understand myself how to deal with this. I wasn’t raised in any faith. I discovered the catholic faith on my own years ago but fell away because of my lifestyle. I tried to return thinking I could change but this last week has made me feel it is hopeless.
 
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