Threading the needle on LGBT issues

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No…I am not going to some expert and go through what happened to me years ago now. I has taken me years to block part of it out and I am not revisiting it.
 
Ann1 said:
I have been thinking about the triggers etc but I don’t think I will ever have the power to stop the desires I have.
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You are right, the responses to this topic are all over the map! It is a good topic for discussion because there are so many divergent opinions.

I guess what I and others are trying to say is that you don’t need to try to stop the desires/attractions. It would be like trying not to have a bowel movement after you took a laxative! If your orientation/attractions are endemic then they are part of your instincts and physiological functioning and you can’t will them to stop. Well, I guess you could will them to stop but it is an exercise in futility.

Like Paul with his affliction, you can pray that God will remove them, and pray that God will make you the person He created you to be. You can practice spiritual disciplines, like avoiding triggers (as much as possible), and keep yourself close to Christ in the sacraments and prayer.

The focus should not be on stopping what we don’t want. This is like willing the darkness to be gone from a room. The thing to do is focus on turning on the Light, which will dispel darkness.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.
Ann1 said:
A lot of it stems from the fact I was sexually molested long-term as a child by a friend of my mother’s and father’s and I never got any help.
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Well unfortunately that is not uncommon. It is best to focus on your own healing first, and not get pre-occupied by sexual attraction. As has been mentioned in the thread above, desires and attractions can, and do, change. If they are rooted in a wound, healing of the wound will put everything in order.
Ann1 said:
Please don’t tell me to get it now. I am too old.
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There is no such thing! If you are young enough to post in an internet forum, you are young enough to get therapy!
Ann1 said:
If you know anything about childhood sexual abuse
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A thing or two… 😉
Ann1 said:
I tried to return to the church but just can’t bring myself to go to confession again when I don’t understand myself how to deal with this.
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It is best to make an appt. with a priest and have a long talk/confession/spiritual direction.
Ann1 said:
I tried to return thinking I could change but this last week has made me feel it is hopeless.
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The devil wants you to feel hopeless so you will give up trying. But, you must remember that you did not get where you are overnight, so you won’t get it fixed overnight.

The Holy Spirit is obviously knocking at the door of your heart. I am glad you are here at CAF. I will pray for you.

You are not alone, and there are many who have suffered similar things. Jesus wants to heal us and make us whole.
 
Prodigal_Son said:
Maybe I can clear this up. “Nature” can be used descriptively or prescriptively. Descriptively, homosexuality is as natural as it gets: as natural as red hair or underbites or being double-jointed.
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Or killing your young and eating them. Maybe we should have a cake, flag and parade for that.
 
The questions is: why do you need all of the attention if homosexuality is truly equal to be straight?
 
It’s not prejudice to treat different things differently. It’s rationality.

In fact it’s irrational to treat different things as if they were the same.
 
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SuperLuigi said:
The questions is: why do you need all of the attention if homosexuality is truly equal to be straight?
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What is “all this” attention that I was saying that we need? We need only the attention that everyone needs: unconditional love and concern for the particular challenges we face.
 
See, that’s kinda funny 😯😃😄 cause I don’t need community parades or public concern about my sexuality or sex life…
 
…and we’re back to what caused this discussion in the first place…

Deja vu
 
After this post and the comments here, I finally did a sexual orientation test. I got:
Mean Sexual Orientation: 2.5
Sexual Orientation Range: 2
(here the lower the number scaled from 1 to 18 the more heterosexual you are).
So I can say many things but I doubt it will be useful for the OP.
In general I always found it annoying when sexuality was a matter that ruined the party. Remember your aunt or friend who wanted you to date X, who they also liked and made annoying romantic allusions about you and X at a family reunion or beer with friends? And at that point you hated the fact that X must be finding you extremely annoying and unattractive just because you were being auctioned to them? And you so wanted a family dinner or to drink beer without having to think about your potential romantic life? Maybe the OP’s problems with family and friends are in line with that irritating situation I just described. Why bring it up when situations simply have nothing to do with romance or sex?
As for someone not being your friend anymore because any reason that person was never your friend. Friends don’t just leave.
 
SuperLuigi said:
See, that’s kinda funny 😯😃😄 cause I don’t need community parades or public concern about my sexuality or sex life…
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You’ve got an extended straw man conversation going here. I never said, “Gay pride parades, yay.”
 
Whenever I see all the (gay) pride stuff, I always can’t help thinking, “Pride goeth before a fall”. Maybe someone already posted the same thing.
 
To me the issue lies from what you said: “Authentic Church teaching is such a fine line to walk.” The rules and Catechism that the Catholic Church has put in place, as truthful as they are, make what is extremely simple, extremely complicated. The fulfilling of the commandments is said by Jesus Christ, our Lord in the Gospel. “Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets (Matthew 22:36-40)” This great commandment is what makes all of those rules in the Catechism simple.

You are bisexual, but have faith in the Lord and if you do what you do out of true love of the Lord (which in turn will be to your neighbor) then all the commandments are kept and you are not in scandal. As an addition to this, having sex is not anything that is divine because if it was then God would be doing it. God has shown us the way of truth and life through Jesus Christ our Lord. I tell you that when there is true love of God, that no one on this earth can even come near to the joy and satisfaction that our Lord gives. All of a sudden sexual desire and drive disappear, all your goals and aspirations disappear and all of your attachments to the world disappear.

Bisexual, gay, lesbian, lawyer, chef, homeless, all are classifications of earthly things and to truly get to God and His almighty being, we have to transcend those classifications. We must no longer be human, by die as humans (I mean die to sin), so we can become unified to God and have life eternal.
 
There’s a difference between essentially sterile, and accidentally sterile.

A same sex coupling is by its nature utterly sterile.

Not so with married couples who struggle getting pregnant.

Moreover, for a couple that lives the Church’s life of chastity, sterility is known AFTER the fact of marriage!
 
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Edward_H said:
A same sex coupling is by its nature utterly sterile.
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Same sex couples frequently have children, your definition of sterile is very narrowly defined.

And I meant a couple who knows they’re sterile before marriage. Despite your incorrect assertion plenty of people are aware for other reasons if they’re able to have children long before such a question is relevant.

So again do we ban them from getting married?

What about post-menopausal women?
 
No there can be no conjugal union with same sex couplings.

It’s in its essence (by its very nature) a sterile configuration of bodies. No fruit can come from it. And this is known with total certainty before the SS couple decides to mimic marital life.

God asks for our cooperation, our TOTAL yes. We say yes with our mind, with our intellect, with our will, with our bodies.

Coupling with a person of the same sex, is not a Yes to the natural gifts that God gave a person. It’s an abject NO.

A married couple whose bodies pass fertility isn’t saying No.
 
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