X
Xantippe
Guest
Dorothy Cummings McLean (the Catholic blogger at Seraphic Singles and Historical House) has a new post up about the differences between singles, married childless couples and married couples with children and how the different groups can have friends and be friends with each other:
thehistoricalhouse.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/three-distinct-states-of-unconsecrated.html
The topic has come up on CAF before so I thought I should share the post. (DCM herself is a middle-aged childless married woman, with a previous long career as a single woman.)
Some quotes:
“Married people with children are most likely to socialize with other married people with children, when they socialize outside the family at all. Their lives are almost completely incompatible with the social needs of Singles because Singles need undivided attention when they express their joys and woes, and Marrieds are usually completely distracted by small children saying “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Dad, Dad, Dad” or breaking things or hitting other children. Speaking as a long-time former Single, it is highly annoying when you are telling a married mother about your broken heart and she interrupts you to tell her adorable proof of love to get Daddy to fix it, whatever ‘it’ may be. When married people with children do get together (not just hand over children at the door) their children play together and the parents all get distracted together. It is very noisy, and even married people without children can take only so much of it. It must be positively hellish for Singles.”
“Married people with children have less freedom of mobility than anyone outside of a cloistered convent. In order to spend time with married friends, the best thing you can do is go where they are, whenever they are there. This is usually their home, and unless you are super-close, they don’t want you to see their home because it has been denuded of dangerous furniture and covered with toys, if not random bread crusts.”
“Married people and Singles worry about different things, and the worries of opposite groups can seem quite laughable. The Single talk about their latest romance and the Married mother, on a bad day, tries not to roll her eyes. The Married Mother discusses her worries about her child’s music lessons, and the Single is struck by how wonderful it would be to have children and a husband to help pay for their music lessons. (Depending on her level of acceptance of her lot, the Married Woman without Children may have similar thoughts.) Therefore, when time available for socializing is at a premium, the Married Mother is most likely to want to talk to someone who can and will understand and sympathize with her problems.”
“The upshot of all this is that Single Life and Married Life with Children are almost directly opposed. The Single person needs and deserves emotional support, but the Married person with children already gives so much support to the unmarried–his or her children–that they usually have no more to give. They are both tied and tired. They are no longer who they were when they were Single, which can be difficult for their Single friends to accept.”
thehistoricalhouse.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/three-distinct-states-of-unconsecrated.html
The topic has come up on CAF before so I thought I should share the post. (DCM herself is a middle-aged childless married woman, with a previous long career as a single woman.)
Some quotes:
“Married people with children are most likely to socialize with other married people with children, when they socialize outside the family at all. Their lives are almost completely incompatible with the social needs of Singles because Singles need undivided attention when they express their joys and woes, and Marrieds are usually completely distracted by small children saying “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Dad, Dad, Dad” or breaking things or hitting other children. Speaking as a long-time former Single, it is highly annoying when you are telling a married mother about your broken heart and she interrupts you to tell her adorable proof of love to get Daddy to fix it, whatever ‘it’ may be. When married people with children do get together (not just hand over children at the door) their children play together and the parents all get distracted together. It is very noisy, and even married people without children can take only so much of it. It must be positively hellish for Singles.”
“Married people with children have less freedom of mobility than anyone outside of a cloistered convent. In order to spend time with married friends, the best thing you can do is go where they are, whenever they are there. This is usually their home, and unless you are super-close, they don’t want you to see their home because it has been denuded of dangerous furniture and covered with toys, if not random bread crusts.”
“Married people and Singles worry about different things, and the worries of opposite groups can seem quite laughable. The Single talk about their latest romance and the Married mother, on a bad day, tries not to roll her eyes. The Married Mother discusses her worries about her child’s music lessons, and the Single is struck by how wonderful it would be to have children and a husband to help pay for their music lessons. (Depending on her level of acceptance of her lot, the Married Woman without Children may have similar thoughts.) Therefore, when time available for socializing is at a premium, the Married Mother is most likely to want to talk to someone who can and will understand and sympathize with her problems.”
“The upshot of all this is that Single Life and Married Life with Children are almost directly opposed. The Single person needs and deserves emotional support, but the Married person with children already gives so much support to the unmarried–his or her children–that they usually have no more to give. They are both tied and tired. They are no longer who they were when they were Single, which can be difficult for their Single friends to accept.”
I I think I derailed things by going off script. I know I sound paranoid but I know when **** is going down.
On the other hand, I’ve been convinced to cut back on the number of renditions of the porcupine-in-my-barracks stories. 