Top 10 reasons women should dress modestly

[TrueLight]

I just went prom dress shopping with my 13 year old. You don’t know how many times I had to tell her to put a dress down because of length. And she fought me all the way, but I stood resolute.

Sigh.

The prom dresses seem to be either short or long. No in betweens.

By the grace of God we found a knee-length dress which made her look like a princess, instead of an oversexed teen in a short dress.

 

[Walking_Home]

I just went prom dress shopping with my 13 year old. You don’t know how many times I had to tell her to put a dress down because of length. And she fought me all the way, but I stood resolute.

Sigh.

The prom dresses seem to be either short or long. No in betweens.

By the grace of God we found a knee-length dress which made her look like a princess, instead of an oversexed teen in a short dress.

---

I am glad you found something you liked. But just a note — to some --knee length would still look like an oversexed teen.

 

[severus68]

Thank you for saying so.

After a short night’s rest (busy day today) I have concluded that I probably owe a few apologies. I really didn’t continue this debate meaning to hurt anyone, but I think I ended up doing so.

I apologize to any and all I offended. I will go to confession later today to confess these and other sins. After my prayer this morning, I concluded that this particular debate became an act which included pride on my part. It wasn’t an act of learning, or an act of coaching, or an act of charity, it became an act of trying to make or take ground, and oneupsmanship. That’s a sin. And I am truly sorry for it.

Others can say what they want about this debate, me or this posting. I’ve said my peace.

This is very gracious and Christian of you Edward.

 

[Alexander_Smith]

A bikini IS a bathing suit. And as there is nothing wrong with bikinis, of course I’d wear one.

As I mentioned before, I’d still love to know at what point between naked and bikini you’d consider to be inappropriate for the beach.

I wouldn’t be able to answer that question because I don’t wear shirts that show lots of cleavage, and I don’t wear shorts that are so short that you can see the skin where the leg joins the torso.

The clothes you mentioned above are NOT a cultural norm. They are not considered appropriate in this culture, and as modesty is dependent on culture, than of course we can go ahead and conclude that, yes, those clothes ARE skimpy and immodest around here.

My argument was against people saying that showing a knee, is immodest. Not wearing sleeves, is immodest. Going to the beach in a 2 piece, is immodest.

My argument was, no, they are not. They are cultural norms of dress. There is nothing immodest about a basic pair of shorts and tank top on a hot day, and it bugs me when people try to tell women that they are trash for wearing them.

So basically any form of dress becomes acceptable once it has become a cultural norm? Bikinis would be scandalous 60 years ago I’m sure, so why are they accepted now?

While I definitely think that there are certain clothes that are appropriate to mass, and others that are not, I don’t particularly agree with a lot of the things this certain Church is saying about “modesty” in general.

Luckily, what we wear to church, isn’t what we need to wear on our everyday lives.

Can you give an example of what you disagree with in those stated rules?

I agree with the tenure of truelight’s post. Sanctity is not about dressing sexy. Our eyes should be on God and not about obsessing with clothes, looks, short skirts, whatever. In our hour of death we will look back and regret the hours wasted in front of the mirror trying to look sexy. If this has led to sexual indiscretions/flirting the regret will intensify. I am not judging anyone but please remember we are in a “valley of tears” here in exile and we should store treasures in heaven - not treasures in the wardrobe.

Excellent post.

I have been growing in my faith and find this is true with me. I will no longer wear about 50% of my clothes. It was a slow process. I will wear a pair of jeans and a nice shirt to daily mass but dress up for Sunday masses. Which is a big deal for me because I hate to dress up.

Even my gym clothes are changing. This one is harder for me. Trying to balance comfort and modesty. I will wear a tank top but stopped wearing the skimpier, tight clothing.

Glad to hear! I too have changed in recent years, and no longer wear a lot of what I used to.

 

[Alexander_Smith]

Darn 20 minute edit time limit…

I think one of the major problems in this thread is that one side is apparently extremely reluctant to say to say that any specific piece of clothing is immodest. Probably because they, or their spouses wear that clothing, which leads to a certain level of defensiveness. So really this discussion is about more than just modesty, it’s about trying to convince people that their own clothing habits might be problematic.

 

[JaneGrey]

Darn 20 minute edit time limit…

I think one of the major problems in this thread is that one side is apparently extremely reluctant to say to say that any specific piece of clothing is immodest. Probably because they, or their spouses wear that clothing, which leads to a certain level of defensiveness. So really this discussion is about more than just modesty, it’s about trying to convince people that their own clothing habits might be problematic.

I think the major problem is a difference of opinion. If people are getting defensive it is because they are being accused of immodesty. If I thought a bikini was immodest I would never wear one. But I do not think they are so I do. On the beach, not to mass. Simple as.

 

[Alexander_Smith]

I think the major problem is a difference of opinion. If people are getting defensive it is because they are being accused of immodesty. If I thought a bikini was immodest I would never wear one. But I do not think they are so I do. On the beach, not to mass. Simple as.

Which is why I asked the question, at what point between naked and bikini, does the outfit become immodest in a beach setting? In your opinion.

 

[JaneGrey]

Which is why I asked the question, at what point between naked and bikini, does the outfit become immodest in a beach setting? In your opinion.

Purely based on my opinion, I have no problem with others sunbathing in the nude on the beach for example. But as others have said, alot about modesty is dependent on behaviour and actions. Its one thing if said nude or topless people were lying still, keeping to themselves. However I would think people playing volleyball or prancing around in the nude on a public beach to be vulgar. I still wouldnt presume to know their thoughts and intentions however, although I might wonder about their sanity. However people typically do not do this anyway. This is going to sound odd but sometimes I find the topless ones to be slightly more modest in their gait and actions than those in even one pieces.

Sunbathing topless is more common in Europe, however even here when people walk off the beach to go to dinner etc they tend to put their bikini top back on. It is hard to pin point and that is why I think so much depends on culture and what an individual considers to be ‘normal’ - it seems to be an unspoken rule that no one stares or comments on a topless person on the beach.

I have not ever been to a beach in America however, so I cant say for sure if I would consider someone nude to be immodest there. Bear in mind that my views do not mean that I sunbather topless myself (Im actually too paranoid about skin cancer) nor do they reflect the views of anyone else on this thread.

 

[Walking_Home]

I’m going to say one last thing on modesty, because I don’t want to debate this ad nauseum.

I’m going to sound extremely judgmental, so get ready.

In my opinion, there is a direct correlation between spirituality and modesty and by modestly I don’t just mean dress.

As you spend more time in prayer and worship, you will grow in modestly. You will start to feel uncomfortable giving off certain impressions. your language will change, your dress will change, your demeanor will change, the things you do for fun will change.

And that’s that.

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Remember the thread below --TrueLight. Your mode of dress does not measure up with people who think like Elsport1. You become the lesser being – because in their mind —their mode of dress “is becoming to God” — as oppose to yours. Are you not doing the same type of thing in this thread (and others) — as people who think like Elsport1-- do to you. It’s like picking up the stones --someone else throws at you —and throw them at others – you don’t feel measure up to you.

Elsport1:

TrueLight:

And maybe a man shouldn’t walk around shirtless in front of me either. But I wouldn’t say “He caused me to sin.”

No a man shouldn’t walk around topless. If looking at him caused you to sin you would commit sin, and most likely he would too for putting you into a near occasion to sin.

Dress in a way that is becoming to our God. That takes care of everything.
I think we could both agree on that…now the subject of what is becoming to God is something we might disagree upon…

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=7868137#post7868137

 

[Walking_Home]

As I mentioned before, I’d still love to know at what point between naked and bikini you’d consider to be inappropriate for the beach.

So basically any form of dress becomes acceptable once it has become a cultural norm? Bikinis would be scandalous 60 years ago I’m sure, so why are they accepted now?

Can you give an example of what you disagree with in those stated rules?

Excellent post.

Glad to hear! I too have changed in recent years, and no longer wear a lot of what I used to.

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I believe – I’ve read somewhere – that the FSSP recommends the (1950’s?) guide of --2 inches below the hollow of the throat/short sleeves/ a few inches below the knee----for church. This would have been “scandalous” and “improper” at some point in our past. So you see --what was once “scandalous/improper” is no longer so.

Our late Pope places clothes in the context of where they are worn. What is ok for the beach/pool (swimwear) is not ok for walking around out side of that context (beach/pool).

 

[John_of_Woking]

Are miniskirts really acceptable because they are a cultural norm? Thankfully with the grace of God I have sufficient self mastery to not consent to lustful thoughts when confronted with a sin saturated culture. I just know that I would not want my wife wearing one of these skirts that looks like a belt. The sad thing is the culture seems to be getting worse. People dress to get a reaction. I dunno maybe it’s just insecurity,

 

[Debora123]

If we were going to a feast with God, it would not matter if we went naked but with hearts full of love, humility and charity. Does this church also have a code of conduct like

“Please try to pay attention to the mass , please come to church with charity in your hearts to join in our celebration of the Mass to welcome Christ with the fullness of love.”

I myself think that there are some who do not know the distinction between fashion and tastelessness but have never seen that in my church.

Dirty people and dirty clothes? Christ welcomes beggars and all into his Church.

Luckily, this seems to be a very conservative parish. The vast VAST majority of Churches don’t have that.

 

[Young_Thinker]

I just know that I would not want my wife wearing one of these skirts that looks like a belt.

I do not think that Debbie (I hope that she does not mind if I call her that; I like to use diminutive names) or Miss Grey are talking about wearing micro-miniskirts in public. At least I hope not!

The sad thing is the culture seems to be getting worse. People dress to get a reaction. I dunno maybe it’s just insecurity.

I agree. To me, society in general seems to be getting more and more vulgar and degenerate. And one cannot blame it entirely on the media and fashion industry.

 

[Debora123]

Puh-leeeze, Deborah! This is no matter of mind-reading.

It’s not like there are many commonly-understood reasons for wearing mini-skirts.

However many excuses one can manufacture they are universally self-centered and uncharitable. The same goes for an exposure of cleavage.

Puh-leeeeez Phil…

For your information, I (and probably most women out there) don’t wear mini skirts for the “evil” reasons YOU and many others on this site have taken upon themselves to assume.

Puh-leeeeeez, don’t make judgmental assumptions about me which just so happen to be completely FALSE.

Thank you.

 

[Debora123]

Originally Posted by Phil Steinacker

thank you jane

 

[Debora123]

As I mentioned before, I’d still love to know at what point between naked and bikini you’d consider to be inappropriate for the beach.

The same thing that OUR CULTURE considers inappropriate. You know, since modesty is dependent on CULTURE (see catechism section 2524).

Wearing a thong to the beach is considered inappropriate, at least in this country.

So basically any form of dress becomes acceptable once it has become a cultural norm?

Yes. (see catechism section 2524)

…which is exactly why indigenous tribes have women who walk around completely topless, and why we don’t consider them scandalous. Because it is their CULTURAL NORM.

Bikinis would be scandalous 60 years ago I’m sure, so why are they accepted now?

Because modesty changes depending on what culture considers appropriate (see catechism section 2524).

… Showing ankles used to be considered scandalous at one point. It is no longer considered scandalous now, not even by YOUR standards, I bet. Same idea.

Can you give an example of what you disagree with in those stated rules?

I disagree that showing a knee is immodest.

Does that answer all your questions?

Let me know if there is anything else you don’t understand, and I’ll clear it up for you.

 

[Debora123]

Darn 20 minute edit time limit…

I think one of the major problems in this thread is that one side is apparently extremely reluctant to say to say that any specific piece of clothing is immodest. Probably because they, or their spouses wear that clothing, which leads to a certain level of defensiveness. So really this discussion is about more than just modesty, it’s about trying to convince people that their own clothing habits might be problematic.

Who here has been reluctant to say that ANYTHING is considered IMMODEST? Either I’ve missed something, or you’re imagining things. But considering I’ve been following this thread since it has started, I’d guess the latter.

 

[Debora123]

I have not ever been to a beach in America however, so I cant say for sure if I would consider someone nude to be immodest there. Bear in mind that my views do not mean that I sunbather topless myself (Im actually too paranoid about skin cancer) nor do they reflect the views of anyone else on this thread.

Thank you. And you’re right, while being topless may not be considered immodest in some places, it is considered immodest in America. But it all depends on culture.

 

[Debora123]

Are miniskirts really acceptable because they are a cultural norm? Thankfully with the grace of God I have sufficient self mastery to not consent to lustful thoughts when confronted with a sin saturated culture. I just know that I would not want my wife wearing one of these skirts that looks like a belt. The sad thing is the culture seems to be getting worse. People dress to get a reaction. I dunno maybe it’s just insecurity,

A completely false and unfair generalization.

 

[Debora123]

I do not think that Debbie (I hope that she does not mind if I call her that; I like to use diminutive names) or Miss Grey are talking about wearing micro-miniskirts in public. At least I hope not!

Thank you, and you are correct. I wear miniskirts that are modest in 21st century standards here in Florida.