Top 10 reasons women should dress modestly

[Debora123]

I think more churches should mention things like this church has done on their site:

starofthesea.net/index.php/our-parish/mass-schedule

*What To Wear

We should wear to Mass what we would wear if a King invited us to his home for a feast. That is, we should wear our best. Our best should never draw attention to ourselves but give the utmost respect to the King (and His family) of whom we are special guests.

What Not To Wear *

1. Immodest or revealing clothing is never acceptable.
   

   * For Women:
   
     † Any clothing that bares midriffs or cleavage.
     † Tight clothing meant to accentuate (to draw attention to) various body parts that God considers, and that we ought to consider, sacred.
     † Short skirts (above knee) or miniskirts
     † Shorts (capris are okay if they hit below the knee—but still discouraged)
     † Sleeveless tops (short sleeves are okay).
   
   * For Men:
   
     † Shorts (yes, even in the summer months)
     † Tank tops.

2. Dirty clothes are never acceptable.
3. An unkept body is never acceptable (e.g., dirty hands or fingernails).

Why is it Important to Dress Modestly at Mass?

Immodest dress (especially with women) distracts others and could cause them to sin in their thoughts, which is not why we are at Mass.

*There will be times that our only opportunity to attend Mass is after a physically demanding job or after helping Grandma bail out her flooded basement. There is nothing to worry about in such times. We should never let circumstances that are out of our control keep us away from the Sacraments! God knows what we’ve been through, and it’s not anyone’s job to judge us. By all means, come to Mass!

Still, modest*

While I definitely think that there are certain clothes that are appropriate to mass, and others that are not, I don’t particularly agree with a lot of the things this certain Church is saying about “modesty” in general.

Luckily, what we wear to church, isn’t what we need to wear on our everyday lives.

 

[TrueLight]

What about beautiful tribal women with knockout bodies? Are they then, not allowed to walk around topless like is considered normal in her culture??

I completely disagree that women who look too good should have to be oppressed into covering themselves more than plain looking women and uglying themselves down.

I see nothing wrong with being sexy, as in, sexually attractive. Sexual attraction is good. I believe every women is sexy in her own way.

However, I do appreciate the fact that you acknowledge that this is your personal opinion and not try to guilt anyone for doing something that the church isn’t against. That is mainly what I can’t stand.

Give me a break!

Where did I say women who look good should make themselves look ugly? I certainly don’t “uglify” myself in any way.

I’m saying there are women who are naturally sexy. That’s part of attraction.

But its a different thing to go seeking clothing that makes you look sexy because of cleavage, midriff baring etc. .

 

[Debora123]

Give me a break!

Where did I say women who look good should make themselves look ugly? I certainly don’t “uglify” myself in any way.

I’m saying there are women who are naturally sexy. That’s part of attraction.

But its a different thing to go seeking clothing that makes you look sexy because of cleavage, midriff baring etc. .

Ah, gotcha.

 

[TrueLight]

I’m going to say one last thing on modesty, because I don’t want to debate this ad nauseum.

I’m going to sound extremely judgmental, so get ready.

In my opinion, there is a direct correlation between spirituality and modesty and by modestly I don’t just mean dress.

As you spend more time in prayer and worship, you will grow in modestly. You will start to feel uncomfortable giving off certain impressions. your language will change, your dress will change, your demeanor will change, the things you do for fun will change.

And that’s that.

 

[MissRose73]

I would have no issues dressing for Mass in the way listed in the link I posted earlier.

I think more churches should enforce a dress code as most people can afford one decent outfit to wear for Mass 1 hour per week. I am not looking to return to my parents’ day where the dressing up was definitely required but what is good enough for most business offices either business casual or business professional would be appropriate for Mass. I can wear just about any business casual outfit I own, and show up to Mass the same day if I had to, dressed appropriately.

Here is an excerpt from my work place’s dress code which I would also find appropriate for Mass, most people in my work place fall in the business casual dress code:

STANDARD BUSINESS ATTIRE (mainly geared high ranking executives and sales people especially those who meet with clients internal and/or external to the company )

For men, standard business attire includes suits or slacks, with a shirt and tie.
For women, it includes suits with a blouse, dress slacks with a blouse or turtleneck, dresses, and skirts with a blouse
Both genders - suit coat/blazer with the outfits listed above and/or sweater: either cardigan or pull over that looks professional

BUSINESS CASUAL ATTIRE (majority of workers in the company)

Polo shirts, oxford shirts, turtlenecks, blouses, sweaters, cardigans, button downs or slip over styles of shirt
Blazers and sport coats.
Casual pants, dress pants, slacks, dress shirts, and skirts.
Deck shoes, flat shoes, dress sandals, dress shoes, and boots.

Unacceptable business casual attire includes, but is not limited to:
Denim clothing.
Sweat suits and athletic wear.
T-shirts, spaghetti straps, tank, halter, or bare midriff tops.
Shorts, leggings, painter pants, or mini skirts.
Tennis shoes, casual sandals or beach footwear.
Baseball caps.
Clothing with wording other than as part of a small logo.
Clothing that shows excessive cleavage (women) and chest hair (men)

 

[Debora123]

I’m going to sound extremely judgmental, so get ready.

No prob, quite used to it by now

 

[MarysGirls]

I think more churches should mention things like this church has done on their site:

starofthesea.net/index.php/our-parish/mass-schedule

*What To Wear

We should wear to Mass what we would wear if a King invited us to his home for a feast. That is, we should wear our best. Our best should never draw attention to ourselves but give the utmost respect to the King (and His family) of whom we are special guests.

What Not To Wear *

1. Immodest or revealing clothing is never acceptable.
   

   * For Women:
   
     † Any clothing that bares midriffs or cleavage.
     † Tight clothing meant to accentuate (to draw attention to) various body parts that God considers, and that we ought to consider, sacred.
     † Short skirts (above knee) or miniskirts
     † Shorts (capris are okay if they hit below the knee—but still discouraged)
     † Sleeveless tops (short sleeves are okay).
   
   * For Men:
   
     † Shorts (yes, even in the summer months)
     † Tank tops.

2. Dirty clothes are never acceptable.
3. An unkept body is never acceptable (e.g., dirty hands or fingernails).

Why is it Important to Dress Modestly at Mass?

Immodest dress (especially with women) distracts others and could cause them to sin in their thoughts, which is not why we are at Mass.

*There will be times that our only opportunity to attend Mass is after a physically demanding job or after helping Grandma bail out her flooded basement. There is nothing to worry about in such times. We should never let circumstances that are out of our control keep us away from the Sacraments! God knows what we’ve been through, and it’s not anyone’s job to judge us. By all means, come to Mass!

Still, modest*

:clapping:

 

[John_of_Woking]

I agree with the tenure of truelight’s post. Sanctity is not about dressing sexy. Our eyes should be on God and not about obsessing with clothes, looks, short skirts, whatever. In our hour of death we will look back and regret the hours wasted in front of the mirror trying to look sexy. If this has led to sexual indiscretions/flirting the regret will intensify. I am not judging anyone but please remember we are in a “valley of tears” here in exile and we should store treasures in heaven - not treasures in the wardrobe.

 

[Catholic41506]

From the USCC pp 442:

“The attitude of modesty is difficult to maintain in a culture that prizes sexual permissivness. Countless appeals for erotic satisfaction assail us daily from all the major forms of communication. This environment of indecency challenges all men and women of faith to choose and to witness to modesty as a way of life and as a method for healing a culture that has strayed from God’s plan for sexuality and marriage.
Those who have accepted the approach of the permissive culture have been persuaded that freedom is the right to do what we want to do, not what we should do. At the beginning of Christianity, the Apostles preached and witnessed Christ’s Gospel to the permissive cultures of Greece and Rome, a fact well illustrated in St. Paul’s Letters to the Corinthians.”
“The Church calls us to be signs of contradiction in an overly eroticized society. All members of the Church should respond to the immodest aspects of society and culture with a deep and conscious sprituality.”

 

[Debora123]

From the USCC pp 442:

“The attitude of modesty is difficult to maintain in a culture that prizes sexual permissivness. Countless appeals for erotic satisfaction assail us daily from all the major forms of communication. This environment of indecency challenges all men and women of faith to choose and to witness to modesty as a way of life and as a method for healing a culture that has strayed from God’s plan for sexuality and marriage.
Those who have accepted the approach of the permissive culture have been persuaded that freedom is the right to do what we want to do, not what we should do. At the beginning of Christianity, the Apostles preached and witnessed Christ’s Gospel to the permissive cultures of Greece and Rome, a fact well illustrated in St. Paul’s Letters to the Corinthians.”
“The Church calls us to be signs of contradiction in an overly eroticized society. All members of the Church should respond to the immodest aspects of society and culture with a deep and conscious sprituality.”

This above post is irrelevant to the discussion.

No one here denies that modesty is a virtue. The disagreements here are not about whether or not modesty is good, they are about what CONSTITUTES as modesty.

You say showing a knee is immodest. You say showing the upper part of an arm is immodest. You say wearing 2 piece bathing suits are immodest. Well, prove it.

Posting quotes about modesty being important is completely irreverent to the level this discussion has reached.

 

[cviolette]

I’m going to say one last thing on modesty, because I don’t want to debate this ad nauseum.

I’m going to sound extremely judgmental, so get ready.

In my opinion, there is a direct correlation between spirituality and modesty and by modestly I don’t just mean dress.

As you spend more time in prayer and worship, you will grow in modestly. You will start to feel uncomfortable giving off certain impressions. your language will change, your dress will change, your demeanor will change, the things you do for fun will change.

And that’s that.

I have been growing in my faith and find this is true with me. I will no longer wear about 50% of my clothes. It was a slow process. I will wear a pair of jeans and a nice shirt to daily mass but dress up for Sunday masses. Which is a big deal for me because I hate to dress up.

Even my gym clothes are changing. This one is harder for me. Trying to balance comfort and modesty. I will wear a tank top but stopped wearing the skimpier, tight clothing.

 

[Catholic41506]

I have been growing in my faith and find this is true with me. I will no longer wear about 50% of my clothes. It was a slow process. I will wear a pair of jeans and a nice shirt to daily mass but dress up for Sunday masses. Which is a big deal for me because I hate to dress up.

Even my gym clothes are changing. This one is harder for me. Trying to balance comfort and modesty. I will wear a tank top but stopped wearing the skimpier, tight clothing.

God bless you. It was a slow process for my wife, primarily because I didn’t want to spend a lot on a new wardrobe for her. I caved.

 

[centurionguard]

Maybe I can help bridge the gap between these two very angry waves.

I will try to speak in terms that both sides can agree with.

As a young man who knows other young men and can look at the world around him, I can say with a degree of certainty that men are stimulated visually. If you look at the advertising industry, they know this too. Billboards, posters, videos, and pictures are everywhere, many of them filled with suggestive images of women. When you think about it, pornography itself is mostly or entirely visual. So, not surprisingly, it grips countless men like a vice (pun half-intended )

Now, can men control themselves? YES. Is it easy? NO. Is that an excuse? NO. But I think both sides of this issue are being rather insensitive to each other.

So to the one side, I say this: we cannot control what other people wear, but we can control what we do. Sexual urges are some of the most powerful things a man will have to deal with in his lifetime, I know. But anything is possible through Christ. When you think about it, society has programmed us to lust after certain things. When we see an ad of a woman in skimpy clothing, it usually goes hand in hand with sexual signals - by her behavior or whatnot - like “she wants to have sex with me” or “she’s really turned on.” In order to survive in this modern world, we have to reject this programming. If we tell ourselves that bikinis always incite lust, then they will always incite lust in us. We can’t make things harder for ourselves by setting up our own traps. If we are presented with the full set of a woman’s legs, we should think “She has legs. I have legs too. I think mine are hairier” and leave it at that. Is that easy? You bet your butt not. Especially since there will always be something in a man kindled by visuals. But through grace and diligence, nothing cannot be mastered.

To the other side: The world knows men’s weaknesses and loves exploiting them, just like it does for women. But just because we men have weaknesses does not mean that we are animals or lack self-control. Society has told us that it is ok to let go of self-control and be a pervert or a pig or what have you, and it can be hard to shake those messages. We really do have a lot on our plate - again, just like women - so we ask that you try not to make it harder for us. We don’t want special treatment, we need special consideration. Should you have to live like every man you meet is a wild hormone-driven animal? No! But the truth is most men are at least somewhat affected by what you wear, and it’s something to keep in mind.
Also, I can’t help but wonder, what do you get out of wearing skimpy clothes? I’m talking about shirts that show lots of cleavage, shorts so short you can see the skin where the leg joins the torso, etc. Is it freedom? Pride? The comfort of fitting in? Is it so good that it outweighs its effects on others? Is it something which cannot be given up for your Christian brothers and the Lord?

I’m hoping that maybe less ranting and more communication can enter this. It’s a very prominent issue which calls for compassion on both sides.

WOW ! One of the best posts I’ve seen in this thread.
.



Peace
Chris

 

[Catholic41506]

WOW ! One of the best posts I’ve seen in this thread.
.



Peace
Chris

I’ll second that. Very good.

 

[severus68]

I think more churches should mention things like this church has done on their site:

starofthesea.net/index.php/our-parish/mass-schedule

*What To Wear

We should wear to Mass what we would wear if a King invited us to his home for a feast. That is, we should wear our best. Our best should never draw attention to ourselves but give the utmost respect to the King (and His family) of whom we are special guests.

What Not To Wear *

1. Immodest or revealing clothing is never acceptable.
   

   * For Women:
   
     † Any clothing that bares midriffs or cleavage.
     † Tight clothing meant to accentuate (to draw attention to) various body parts that God considers, and that we ought to consider, sacred.
     † Short skirts (above knee) or miniskirts
     † Shorts (capris are okay if they hit below the knee—but still discouraged)
     † Sleeveless tops (short sleeves are okay).
   
   * For Men:
   
     † Shorts (yes, even in the summer months)
     † Tank tops.

2. Dirty clothes are never acceptable.
3. An unkept body is never acceptable (e.g., dirty hands or fingernails).

Why is it Important to Dress Modestly at Mass?

Immodest dress (especially with women) distracts others and could cause them to sin in their thoughts, which is not why we are at Mass.

*There will be times that our only opportunity to attend Mass is after a physically demanding job or after helping Grandma bail out her flooded basement. There is nothing to worry about in such times. We should never let circumstances that are out of our control keep us away from the Sacraments! God knows what we’ve been through, and it’s not anyone’s job to judge us. By all means, come to Mass!

Still, modest*

If we were going to a feast with God, it would not matter if we went naked but with hearts full of love, humility and charity. Does this church also have a code of conduct like

“Please try to pay attention to the mass , please come to church with charity in your hearts to join in our celebration of the Mass to welcome Christ with the fullness of love.”

I myself think that there are some who do not know the distinction between fashion and tastelessness but have never seen that in my church.

Dirty people and dirty clothes? Christ welcomes beggars and all into his Church.

 

[Phil_Steinacker]

I love mini skirts. I must be corrupted.

And yes, I am glad you are able read my mind and know EXACTLY why I wear mini skirts, and thus proceed to make judgements on me based on mere assumptions.

Puh-leeeze, Deborah! This is no matter of mind-reading.

It’s not like there are many commonly-understood reasons for wearing mini-skirts.

However many excuses one can manufacture they are universally self-centered and uncharitable. The same goes for an exposure of cleavage.

 

[Young_Thinker]

God bless you. It was a slow process for my wife, primarily because I didn’t want to spend a lot on a new wardrobe for her. I caved.

Good for you. That is a time when a man should give in to his wife!

 

[severus68]

Maybe I can help bridge the gap between these two very angry waves.

I will try to speak in terms that both sides can agree with.

As a young man who knows other young men and can look at the world around him, I can say with a degree of certainty that men are stimulated visually. If you look at the advertising industry, they know this too. Billboards, posters, videos, and pictures are everywhere, many of them filled with suggestive images of women. When you think about it, pornography itself is mostly or entirely visual. So, not surprisingly, it grips countless men like a vice (pun half-intended )

Now, can men control themselves? YES. Is it easy? NO. Is that an excuse? NO. But I think both sides of this issue are being rather insensitive to each other.

So to the one side, I say this: we cannot control what other people wear, but we can control what we do. Sexual urges are some of the most powerful things a man will have to deal with in his lifetime, I know. But anything is possible through Christ. When you think about it, society has programmed us to lust after certain things. When we see an ad of a woman in skimpy clothing, it usually goes hand in hand with sexual signals - by her behavior or whatnot - like “she wants to have sex with me” or “she’s really turned on.” In order to survive in this modern world, we have to reject this programming. If we tell ourselves that bikinis always incite lust, then they will always incite lust in us. We can’t make things harder for ourselves by setting up our own traps. If we are presented with the full set of a woman’s legs, we should think “She has legs. I have legs too. I think mine are hairier” and leave it at that. Is that easy? You bet your butt not. Especially since there will always be something in a man kindled by visuals. But through grace and diligence, nothing cannot be mastered.

To the other side: The world knows men’s weaknesses and loves exploiting them, just like it does for women. But just because we men have weaknesses does not mean that we are animals or lack self-control. Society has told us that it is ok to let go of self-control and be a pervert or a pig or what have you, and it can be hard to shake those messages. We really do have a lot on our plate - again, just like women - so we ask that you try not to make it harder for us. We don’t want special treatment, we need special consideration. Should you have to live like every man you meet is a wild hormone-driven animal? No! But the truth is most men are at least somewhat affected by what you wear, and it’s something to keep in mind.
Also, I can’t help but wonder, what do you get out of wearing skimpy clothes? I’m talking about shirts that show lots of cleavage, shorts so short you can see the skin where the leg joins the torso, etc. Is it freedom? Pride? The comfort of fitting in? Is it so good that it outweighs its effects on others? Is it something which cannot be given up for your Christian brothers and the Lord?

I’m hoping that maybe less ranting and more communication can enter this. It’s a very prominent issue which calls for compassion on both sides.

Thank you for your efforts. I agree wholeheartedly about there being compassion and of course charity.

You are young so I can see that right now you can only see one side of things, the male. Its a fallacy that only men have sexual urges etc. Some men like to think this to confrm with the idea of pure Madonna like women and some women like to think this seeing themselves as such. We should all try to control our urges so as to not exhibit them in appropriate ways and places and certainly never use them as an excuse for the wrong things that we do.

If you see a woman wearing what you consider to be skimpy clothing, it would be absolutely wrong of you to think she was giving you signals, turned on (what is that??).

Yes I have issues with women and men wearing thongs even to the beach because that is just tasteless and vulgar. However, for the life of me I cannot fathom how anyone male or female would find that sexually stimulating. I still would not sit on a beach, stare at them and continue to make mental comments.

I have a different issue with cleavage. How did breasts become sexual objects? Yes, the sight of bare breasts in countries where it is not the norm, would be shocking. Why look and relook if the sight offends you. Someone brought this up - Should all the paintings and statutes of naked men and women be covered up? Was Michaelangelo painting, sculpting to titilate?

I think you are well intentioned and a good, charitable. person . God bless

 

[JaneGrey]

Being called outlandish is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, I think I like it.

Do I believe Indian women or certain tribes should cover? Of course not?

However, I would not use nudists as an example. Come on!

Oh I wasn’t calling you outlandish, it would be low of me to do so considering that I dont know you. But the question you posed was imagining a very strange situation, to say the least. That was what I was trying to point out.

The nudists was an extreme example, and I m not saying I completely agree with that even, however the typical nudist colony does not exist so that everyone can have a big orgy. In other words, to nudists the naked body is not primarily sexual. That is why I compared it with tribal societies, even though it is obviously not the same.

 

[JaneGrey]

Puh-leeeze, Deborah! This is no matter of mind-reading.

It’s not like there are many commonly-understood reasons for wearing mini-skirts.

However many excuses one can manufacture they are universally self-centered and uncharitable. The same goes for an exposure of cleavage.

I m sure some wear mini skirts to titillate, but it is not the first thing I would assume of someone. Like I said, I dont assume every guy who walks around with his shirt off is out to get me. For myself and the women I know, mini-skirts are worn for comfort and ease of movement.

You say it is not a matter of mind reading then go on to assume self-centredness of someone you’ve not even met.