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Lepanto
Guest
Unity Candles: do they have a licit place at Catholic wedding Masses?
Unity Candles: do they have a licit place at Catholic wedding Masses?
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FrCorey
Guest
According to Roman Ritual, Rite Of Marriage,
it’s not listed in the rite of wedding mass or wedding outside of mass. as a option or regular part.
my reference: Roman Ritual, Rite of Marriage, ave maria press, approved JP VI. and the US Bishops Counsel.
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benedictgal
Guest
I don’t know the origins of the Unity Candle. What I can tell you, from experience, that when my PV served as the first rector of our cathedral, he prohibited it from being used. He specifically stated in the guide he gave to couples preparing for marriage that the Unity Candle was not a part of the Nuptial liturgy. They could have one, but, do it at the reception hall, not in the church. From the weddings’ I’ve seen at the Cathedral lately, the current administrator has stayed the course and the Unity Candle is not used.
There was one instance where a visiting priest ignored what the first rector (during my friend’s term) had set as policy and had the couple do the Unity Candle thing. Worse yet, the priest put the Unity Candle on the altar and as the set was lit, it splattered wax all over the antique linens that my friend had just placed (they were also freshly cleaned). The visiting priest also invented his own ritual of having the bride place her flowers on the altar. During the offertory, the priest brought the couple to his side of the altar and had them do the offertory together with him. That’s when they also offered the flowers.
The wedding coordinator and I were in shock. She had just quit smoking and it was enough to make her light one outside.
After Mass we informed the rector. The visiting priest slipped by before we could say anything. My friend told us that henceforth, the visiting priest (and others from his order who were doing the same thing) were not allowed to celebrate Nuptial Masses while he was in charge.
About a year later, the priest in charge of liturgy, our bishop and I were meeting to discuss some liturgical issues. The bishop asked us if we had known anything about some strange wedding Mass ritual involving flowers. I described the whole thing to him and his eyes opened as wide as a saucer. Worse yet, I had witnessed it the week before when the same priest had done this at my cousin’s wedding.
Mind you, I like the priest and his fellow religious. He stood by me during a very rough trial and I’ve been understanding of some of his concerns. But, this was way too much abuse and I had to explain it to the bishop. I think that this ritual died a quick death soon thereafter.
There was one instance where a visiting priest ignored what the first rector (during my friend’s term) had set as policy and had the couple do the Unity Candle thing. Worse yet, the priest put the Unity Candle on the altar and as the set was lit, it splattered wax all over the antique linens that my friend had just placed (they were also freshly cleaned). The visiting priest also invented his own ritual of having the bride place her flowers on the altar. During the offertory, the priest brought the couple to his side of the altar and had them do the offertory together with him. That’s when they also offered the flowers.
The wedding coordinator and I were in shock. She had just quit smoking and it was enough to make her light one outside.After Mass we informed the rector. The visiting priest slipped by before we could say anything. My friend told us that henceforth, the visiting priest (and others from his order who were doing the same thing) were not allowed to celebrate Nuptial Masses while he was in charge.
About a year later, the priest in charge of liturgy, our bishop and I were meeting to discuss some liturgical issues. The bishop asked us if we had known anything about some strange wedding Mass ritual involving flowers. I described the whole thing to him and his eyes opened as wide as a saucer. Worse yet, I had witnessed it the week before when the same priest had done this at my cousin’s wedding.
Mind you, I like the priest and his fellow religious. He stood by me during a very rough trial and I’ve been understanding of some of his concerns. But, this was way too much abuse and I had to explain it to the bishop. I think that this ritual died a quick death soon thereafter.
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1ke
Guest
It is in the same category as the Lasso, Arias, Presentation of flowers to Mary which are also not in the Rite but are allowed as customs in various cultures.
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agapewolf
Guest
Even though my priests allow it, my job is to talk the couple out of it. I heard it started with a soap opera-a mere hallmark symbol.
I put it like this:
The unity actually happens at the Eucharist.
If you’re going to Disneyland, its would be like stopping at a sign that says “10 miles to Disneyland”…getting out of the car and decorating the sign and taking pictures of the sign…when you can actually just go to disneyland.
Let’s skip the “symbol” and go directly to the actual unity.
Forgive the analogy…I know its raw and I’m not trying to make an equal comparison, just a concept.
I put it like this:
The unity actually happens at the Eucharist.
If you’re going to Disneyland, its would be like stopping at a sign that says “10 miles to Disneyland”…getting out of the car and decorating the sign and taking pictures of the sign…when you can actually just go to disneyland.
Let’s skip the “symbol” and go directly to the actual unity.
Forgive the analogy…I know its raw and I’m not trying to make an equal comparison, just a concept.
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benedictgal
Guest
Au contraire, my friend. The arras and laso are incorporated into the Mexican ritual book for weddings. In fact, there are prayers attached to them. I don’t have the book with me (and my Spanish isn’t too great); however, they are set in there. I have seen them because part of my duty to get the items prepared for the wedding was to set the book with the proper ribbon. This is an example of inculturation being incorporated into the Rite. However, the bizzarro thing that the priest in my previous post was doing was something totally off the wall and no where in the rubrics.
The presentation of flowers to the Blessed Mother is actually done after the Post-Communion Prayer.
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Phemie
Guest
You couldn’t use that in a good 90% of the weddings in our church since there is no Eucharist.
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benedictgal
Guest
You mean you don’t have Nuptial Masses? Gee. Inasmuch as I understand that there are times when a Nuptial Mass isn’t necessarily recommended (Catholic marrying non-Catholic), I thought that it was the norm. I say this because 90% of our weddings are within the context of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
Incidentally, going back to my Post #3, my dad and I were talking about my cousin’s wedding this evening. He told me that given all of the weird things that went on during the Mass, he wondered if the ceremony was even Catholic.
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Phemie
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A good 80% of our marriages are mixed or disparity of cult marriages but we’ve even had two Catholics ask for a liturgy of the Word. I’ve only known one recent bride to ask for Mass but she was marrying an unbaptized man.You mean you don’t have Nuptial Masses? Gee. Inasmuch as I understand that there are times when a Nuptial Mass isn’t necessarily recommended (Catholic marrying non-Catholic), I thought that it was the norm. I say this because 90% of our weddings are within the context of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
Incidentally, going back to my Post #3, my dad and I were talking about my cousin’s wedding this evening. He told me that given all of the weird things that went on during the Mass, he wondered if the ceremony was even Catholic.
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Sarabande
Guest
It is also part of the Filipino wedding mass rituals (as there is a lot of Spanish influence on my mother’s culture). They call the laso “cord”, there is also a “veil”, etc. When we were married, they still permitted the unity candle and actually our godparents lighted the candle. But now our archdiocese “discourages” it (unity candle ceremony - not the laso/veil/arras etc.) So most parishes in our diocese no longer do it, which I’m fine with
From what I read in wedding websites after I got married the unity candle is a fairly new phenomenon starting around the 70s and in Protestant wedding ceremonies.
For our wedding and all weddings I’ve ever performed as a musician for the Presentation to the Blessed Mother has always been done before the recessional and after the post communion prayer.
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bpbasilphx
Guest
How about doing it the opposite way: consider the Unity candle analagos to the Christ candle or Paschal candle, the bride and groom light their candles from it, and spread it to the congregation?
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benedictgal
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I hope that you are being facetious on this one. This would certainly be wrong because it “creates” a new part of the rite. No one has the authority to insert or delete anything into the Church’s liturgy. Redemptionis Sacramentum is very clear on that. It would certainly be an abuse.
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agapewolf
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Actually, it isn’t certainly an abuse. These are such strong words. I know very very orthodox priests (That studied in rome and teach at our seminary) that have allowed it.
As much as I detest the practice, because it is so fluffy, and has no substance to it, and in my opinion detracts from the liturgy and actual rite of marriage and Mass…
There are a lot of places throughout the actual rite of marraiage that interject allowances for cultural practices, that this might fall under.(including something immediately following the vows/rings)
Please remember here…I’m not saying its a valuable cultural practice, nor useful, or anything of substance.
I’m just saying that it isn’t CERTAINLY an abuse.
As much as I detest the practice, because it is so fluffy, and has no substance to it, and in my opinion detracts from the liturgy and actual rite of marriage and Mass…
There are a lot of places throughout the actual rite of marraiage that interject allowances for cultural practices, that this might fall under.(including something immediately following the vows/rings)
Please remember here…I’m not saying its a valuable cultural practice, nor useful, or anything of substance.
I’m just saying that it isn’t CERTAINLY an abuse.
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benedictgal
Guest
Actually, if you had read the full quote, you would have seen that I wasn’t referring to the Unity Candle, per se, but, to someone’s suggestion that it be used like the Pasch Candle and then have everyone light their candles from it (like the Easter Vigil). That is, in essence, creating something new and inserting it into the Mass, and, as Redemptionis Sacramentum notes, you can’t do that. You can’t invent something new and just stick it into the liturgy.
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Joannm
Guest
One of the problems associated with the Untiy Candle, aside from the things already stated, is that it is not done the same way at different weddings. I have seen it done different ways and at different parts during the wedding. I do agree that it creates a new symbol and detracts away from the primary symbols of the sacrament. But, what it is trying to symbolize is the union of two familes, in most cases. I was at the wedding of a liturgist (which was by the way the most fantastic and liturgically correct wedding I ever attended) where they did the unity candle thing at the reception as part of the prayer before the meal. It involved a song (which was a psalm, I forget which one), and the parents lighting their children’s baptismal candles and re-presenting them to the bride and groom who then used them to light the unity candle. They then thanked God for the gift of family and friends who are now united throuh their marriage. It was very touching.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
The key part of what you said is bolded. What a married couple does at the reception is their business. What they do at the wedding is another ball of wax altogether.
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bpbasilphx
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**
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpbasilphx View Post
How about doing it the opposite way: consider the Unity candle analagos to the Christ candle or Paschal candle, the bride and groom light their candles from it, and spread it to the congregation?
I hope that you are being facetious on this one.**
No, I’m not being facetious.
But is there any reason why it can’t be done AFTER the dismissal just before the recessional—the idea that the couple becomes a new prism for the Light of Christ to shine forth upon those they love and the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpbasilphx View Post
How about doing it the opposite way: consider the Unity candle analagos to the Christ candle or Paschal candle, the bride and groom light their candles from it, and spread it to the congregation?
I hope that you are being facetious on this one.**
No, I’m not being facetious.
But is there any reason why it can’t be done AFTER the dismissal just before the recessional—the idea that the couple becomes a new prism for the Light of Christ to shine forth upon those they love and the world.
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Lepanto
Guest
The orthodoxy of a priest or where he studied do not determine the licaity of a practice.
The liturgical texts do.
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Lepanto
Guest
I’m not necessarily saying that Wikipedia is authoritative, but…
The origin of the unity candle is unclear. In all likelihood, it is at least 30-40 years old.[3] TIt is sometimes performed in Christian,[4] interfaith, and secular weddings; however, it is not of Christian origin, and is even prohibited in certain conservative churches.[citation needed] It may have become popular during the 1970’s when mothers wanted a greater role in the wedding.[citation needed]
The lighting of a unity candle was also performed at the wedding of Luke and Laura on the TV soap opera General Hospital in 1981, which almost certainly popularized the ritual to a national, if not international, audience.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unity_candle
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