unmarried and pregnant RE teacher

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LightBound said:
The deplorable lack of charity on here is ridiculous. Especially since the OP has been nothing but kind and charitable, even to those who are insulting her and being awful.

Oh sure, some say, we as Catholics must inform her she’s sinning, since we perceive she has no intention of repenting or rushing into a marriage. Well, it’s one thing to say it with kindness and another to rub her nose in it. Do people honestly think that some of the comments made on here are going to encourage her to change her mind or her ways?
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Yes, we can advise her in charity. Some of the in-your-face posts make me cringe.
 
LightBound said:
The deplorable lack of charity on here is ridiculous. Especially since the OP has been nothing but kind and charitable, even to those who are insulting her and being awful.

Oh sure, some say, we as Catholics must inform her she’s sinning, since we perceive she has no intention of repenting or rushing into a marriage. Well, it’s one thing to say it with kindness and another to rub her nose in it. Do people honestly think that some of the comments made on here are going to encourage her to change her mind or her ways?
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Are you kidding me? Who wouldn’t want to live in perfect harmony with the Catholic faith and ideal of family and charity after reading this thread?

/sarcasm.

I hope that everything works out for the OP and her family, no matter what mistakes she’s made or what happens with her job.
 
bakerst said:
I was not equating myself with The Virgin Mary and would apologise to anyone who would think this, i can see how may comment may be taken out of context. It is her I am currently trying to find strength in . I thank you for your frank words, as hard as there are to read. These are things i spent my time agonizing about all the time. I am seeing my priest tonight, lets hope he is ‘holy and wise’. God will be my judge. Thank you all again
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I said your comparing your unplanned pregnancy to that of the Blessed Mother is in sickeningly bad taste. That is because you completely avoid the topic of repentance for your lifestyle-while-teaching-Catholic-lifestyle. Everything you say here indicates you intend to continue on as you have with your “partner”, and marry him when you feel like it - and no mention of wondering what *God *might ask of you.

Mortal sin puts a great divide between ourselves and God. Yes, Mary is your advocate, but I do not see that she would alleviate your discomfort with self until you repent. Its a blessing you have discomfort (it says a lot for you), and Our Lady is not in the habit of praying your blessings away!

God makes it very easy to cross that divide that is put between us and Him when we commit mortal sin: with confession. But confession does not work without repentance and an intent to sin no more.

You lack peace, Bakerst, but there is one way to get it back. Repent, and be saved!

I realize that to Blue-eyed Lady, who is not a Christian, such references to sin are distasteful. And so it is to most of our culture. If something makes you feel good, and does no seeable harm to anyone, why not? “Do what you want” is our cultural mantra.

But we are Catholic, and we believe in a Creator who knows us inside out and has counted every hair on our head, and because He loves us so much He has certain rules for us, so we can live long, live well, and prosper. And live in harmony with Him on earth and dwell with Him forever in Heaven. And He gives us great rewards for doing His will.

And since Bakerst is Catholic, and wrote on the Catholic forum for advice, we are not afraid to tell her that choosing to continue to live with her partner while not married is a mortal sin.

And she also asked us about the appropriateness of continuing on as a Religious Teacher, which she desires to do for fiscal reasons, and because she likes it there. But if even one of her students remembers and someday follows her example of sin - since its okay for teacher, why not them? - God says it would be better she had a millstone around her neck and flung herself into the sea than to lead one of His little ones into sin. Yes. He said that. He was trying to make an important point, one I think Bakerst misses. The point is, God is clear that He has higher expectations for those who would teach of Him.

But sin is not so frightening to us Catholics. We have the Sacrament of Penance and we get so many Graces from God in it. Living His will means having a clear conscience and having Heavenly Peace, and its worth everything to have that! The things we do in order to do God’s will, like living chastely outside of marraige, seem to us (who have tried His ways) very small compared to what we get back from God. To outsiders it looks like a lot we give. But those of us doing it know we get more than we give.

Bakerst, you really can Trust God. You really can do whatever He commands of you, even though it seems too hard. If you give Him what He asks of you, He will give you back more than you give Him. So, for example, if you decide to do what He asks and forego the dream wedding and party and marry now, or, choose to live in your own place no matter how small and no more sex with boyfriend, that would be very, very, very hard to choose to do. And its not what you want to do, and yes, its very hard to not do what we want! I know! But* I know this is true* - ***you cannot out-give God! ***Give Him what He asks of you, and He will give you back more than you give Him. And isn’t that a good position to be in, with a baby on the way?

You really can trust God. Try it.
 
Oh_Charlotte said:
I realize that to Blue-eyed Lady, who is not a Christian, such references to sin are distasteful. And so it is to most of our culture. If something makes you feel good, and does no seeable harm to anyone, why not? “Do what you want” is our cultural mantra.
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Please, continue. I would love to know more about what I find distasteful. Furthermore I’d like to know on what basis you pulled me in to the middle of your rant.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Please, continue. I would love to know more about what I find distasteful. Furthermore I’d like to know on what basis you pulled me in to the middle of your rant.
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I have not idea what you are talking about, “rant”. And sorry, I thought that was your comment in #84. Must have been someone else!
 
Oh_Charlotte said:
I have not idea what you are talking about, “rant”. And sorry, I thought that was your comment in #84. Must have been someone else!
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That was absolutely me. But you were wrong in your assumptions about that post and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from doing that in the future.

Religious people labeling behaviors a sin does not make me uncomfortable. Treating people the way the OP has been treated does.

🤷 I don’t know why, probably because I believe in treating people with respect, even when you disagree with their actions.
 
Thanks MtnDweller, it helps make up for Lucky 7 maligning me. It is getting uncomfortable, these very personal attacks, and the generalized accusations made with such a broad brush.

The proper way to criticize is to point out what has been said that you take issue with, specifically. But generalized “i’m cringing” and fuzzy accusations of “brow-beating” or vague references to treating people with disrespect? Please, make it specific.

Otherwise, Lucky 7, and others, it truly seems you really are not reading the posts you complain about. Lucky, it seems like you are just skimming them and hopping to a very offended emotional response, and getting STUCK there. That’s what it appears to me.

And I can only guess you and others think it offensive I am telling a Catholic teacher of our Sacred Faith that she needs to repent from mortal sin, and go to confession? Is that it? Or is it the scriptures I posted that offend, where God makes it clear He holds teachers to a higher standard than the rest of us, or, where He states His wrath should they ever be a cause of His littlest ones to sin?

If its something else, please say. I am not perfect, and I tried to be charitable yet honest. However, I realize its no fun to hear, however nicely put, that you are in the wrong and need to make things right. But maybe I wasn’t nice. I can make mistakes. Please point them out, so I can do better next time.
 
I have requested the moderator close this thread, since the last thing we need is to have fellow members here at CAF getting nasty and divisive with each other. The OP has been given all sorts of advice to peruse and pray over, so suffice it to say, “stick a fork in this thread, it’s done”.
 
why cant we focus on the prayers of this young lady and her child.

why all the judging and handing out the sinner card…

she needs love and support from the catholic people,after all she has turned to them in this hour of need hasn’t she,by comming on here and making this post?

do people condemn the people of Africa and the likes with such contempt?

i don’t think they would.

now give this lady prayers and comfort and get over it.its not like you have to bear the sacrifice of this on your shoulders,its bakerst…

@ Oh Charlotte

you might have been honest in your aproach,wasnt the other posts talking the same way when they spoke of you?

some times its best to not judge there is a difference in not judging and being honest…👍 i can see you are a helper,keep up the great work.

God bless us all.
 
Oh_Charlotte said:
Thanks MtnDweller, it helps make up for Lucky 7 maligning me. It is getting uncomfortable, these very personal attacks, and the generalized accusations made with such a broad brush.

The proper way to criticize is to point out what has been said that you take issue with, specifically. But generalized “i’m cringing” and fuzzy accusations of “brow-beating” or vague references to treating people with disrespect? Please, make it specific.

Otherwise, Lucky 7, and others, it truly seems you really are not reading the posts you complain about. Lucky, it seems like you are just skimming them and hopping to a very offended emotional response, and getting STUCK there. That’s what it appears to me.

And I can only guess you and others think it offensive I am telling a Catholic teacher of our Sacred Faith that she needs to repent from mortal sin, and go to confession? Is that it? Or is it the scriptures I posted that offend, where God makes it clear He holds teachers to a higher standard than the rest of us, or, where He states His wrath should they ever be a cause of His littlest ones to sin?

If its something else, please say. I am not perfect, and I tried to be charitable yet honest. However, I realize its no fun to hear, however nicely put, that you are in the wrong and need to make things right. But maybe I wasn’t nice. I can make mistakes. Please point them out, so I can do better next time.
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OK, let me make this clear. The OP has responded to all of our posts most charitably. A specific example would be that she even thanked us for some of our harsh words, that she struggles with it, etc. She explained what she meant by her mentioning Mary. She said she was meeting with her priest.

Rather than laying off and perhaps giving her some positive reinforcement, you chose to keep at her with your lesson in morality. You say nothing different in each post that you make. You continue to brow beat her senselessly. It’s one thing to make your point (even if it’s tough love and I’m not necessarily against that because I was pretty direct in what I had to say to her as well) and quite another to bang it over someone’s head. If you think she isn’t listening (which I happen to completely disagree with…some people need time to deal with ingrained habits and lifestyles), then let go and let God. Even Christ told His disciples if someone doesn’t listen to them to dust the dust off their sandals and move on. You don’t. You seem more interested in showing her and everyone else how great you are at preaching Catholicism. Maybe that is not your intention, but that is the way you come across to me (and apparently many others).

THis isn’t a personal attack but I can see why you’d try to make it seem so. I am merely expressing what I am observing. I have not said you are bad person, or a bad Catholic; however, I’m not so sure that you aren’t doing this to the OP. I am NOT offended by your advice to go to confession or anything else related to our Faith. But you continue to insinuate or even outright say that others don’t really know their Catholic Faith…people that you have no clue on what they do and do not know. I happen to know a lot about our Faith and I’m not quite sure why you think you have the right to tell me that I should learn more about the graces of the Sacrament of Marriage. Again, I have given some of the same advice. I’m actually not offended by anything in this thread…I don’t get offended that easily. I do get annoyed though.

But again, you said it once…why the NEED to repeat it over and over and over again?? THe OP did not say, “NO, I will not do this/listen to you all”. She, on the contrary, said she is meeting with her priest. She, on the contrary, has thanked us for the harsh words even!! Why not give her the benefit of the doubt to take what she has read here and make amends?
 
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