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EasterJoy
Guest
Yes, you are going to have some excellent recommendations! Your boss is going to be sorry, if you move on before your boss does!Thank you, Easter, but it is currently more prudent to stay where I’m at until I’m ready to move out once and for all…
I never intended to leave my parents’ house until I moved into my husband’s. Or, went halvsies with my bestie. But she’s not even close to ready, and her mom is great to live with, so she’s in no hurry to leave. In fact, if it were just mom I had to deal with, I wouldn’t have any problems at all.
But really, this wasn’t supposed to devolve into how I need to get out of the house.
Then again, I’ll have to move closer to the Potential Suitor at some point in order to continue the relationship - he’s tied where he’s at, and I’m not - so there’s that possibility, but probably not until next year at the earliest. Unless Dad decides to make good on his continual ‘threat’ to throw me out - but he hasn’t mentioned that once since I now actually know a man, into whose arms that threat would now drive me.
And I do have a nest egg of sorts, so there’s hope for the future. I just can’t make any plans until an opportunity presents itself. That’s how I got my current job, which is inherently part time due to my duties, not being transient or temporary. I’ve actually been there three years and dabbled in other departments, so my resume will look pretty good and stable based on these factors.
I was the first applicant and was basically hired on the spot. Trained on the job, a job invented hurriedly to fill an immediate need, and a job I whose parameters I defined to the point that my I original supervisor asks ME how best to do my own job if I’m not available.
Then I filled in at need in other departments, doing basically anything within my qualifications to do. I even did menial office work for the administrator of the entire building. I covered the Fourth of July in laundry… I did weekends… I did outdoor lawn work…
My job is cleaning and maintaining the carpets and upholstered chairs in a nursing home facility. But I’ve also buffed and stripped vinyl floors, use a steam cleaner, and assist the maintenance guys wherever needed.
So I am basically a professional carpet cleaner with expertise in other specific cleaning tasks. Plus all of the above. I’ll have so many references, it’ll be ridiculous.
Keep socking away money in that nest egg in a purposeful “pay yourself first” way–between what you give to your savings and what you give to charity, you should feel a pinch–and when the time comes to leave home you will have far more options. If you can get anything at all into a tax-deferred retirement account, do it. You won’t get that growth time back. Hard to do, I understand, but such an advantage for those who manage it. Make the most of your parents’ gift of free room and board!
I’ve known people who move straight from Mom and Dad’s to their married home and did fine; they know how to communicate in a setting where no one is going anywhere. (One did comment to her mother: Mom! Husbands are* a lot of work*!!) Based on the way you operate at work, I think you’ll do fine with a place of your own. You may be living with your parents, but you’re not in a state of “full dependence.” If something needs to be done and you don’t know how to do it, you apparently teach yourself how. You are not afraid of manual labor. People ask you how to do things. That is not the way the dependent kind operate!
As for finding living situations without “connections,” though, I have moved in with students I’d never met in my life and also rented a room from a woman I’d never met before I interviewed for the place. Both worked out really well. The truth is, it is almost better to move in with roommates who are NOT your close friends. It is a lot easier to voice complaints and work out how to split chores and share the refrigerator etc without the emotions getting out of hand, since people don’t impose on roommates they don’t know as well as they do when it is a friend. The temptation to take advantage is actually a lot lower. If the arrangement doesn’t work out, you move out, try again, and don’t lose a close friend in the process. As for moving in with your best friend, my advice is this: Only if you just married him. Yes, sometimes it works great, but I’ve seen too many best-friend roommates who are not even friends by the time they parted ways, some very sad stories. Better to be there for each other when, some day, one of you has a roommate and you need some distance from your roommate, your little apartment, and all the things stressing you out at home.
I did the long-distance thing for a long time. It worked out great; we’ve been married over 25 years. Based on my experience, I’d say that before you are married you need to keep your own interests in mind when you move. Find yourself work you like and make sure you are in a place you want to be if you break up with Potential Suitor before you move. Not a few people move to the place they meet their actual spouse only after moving there for someone else, breaking up, but staying because they like the place and their job. It makes the decision about whether to continue the relationship more free if you don’t have this “but what will I do, if we break up?” hanging over your head. If you’re in a town you like fine and have a job you like fine, you’ll live. You’ll figure it out. Not having that fear of failure will make you far more confident when you make a decision. If you wind up married to Potential Suitor, you’ll know it was not because you foolishly moved somewhere that your other options were bad. You’ll know you married him because you chose him as the best among some pretty good options you left for yourself. That will feel the best and give yourself the most confidence.
She says I’m pretty much the only girl who doesn’t annoy or bore her, other than her mother. 
For her part, she always listens and is always interesting.