I will offer a prayer for you. I’m embarassed to say that for one of the kids I “lost it” with my MIL (I think it was #4 or 5). She started in and I quietly asked her which grandchild she would like to not have?? She stopped it for the moment and hasn’t been as negative–but I refuse to tell her anymore. They either guess or dh tells them. I truly don’t understand it.
**I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve never once had a family member express happiness overa pregnancy. When I asked my dad which I should not have had he said none of them and if he could - he wouldn’t have had me either. We do not have these dc for glory or to please others. We have them bc they are gifts from god and we love them. If I listened to family/society I wouldn’t be married, a sahm, home school, or converted to catholism, much less have kids. Certainly not 9 of them. **
Oh, well, so long as y’all don’t pull out the comfy chair, I think I’ll come back inside.
You betcha! Folks get mighty scary when the thought of loosing their precious sexual relations.uch:
Really? Really?!?!? And you don’t think there’s anything** wrong **with that?
ahem… I think the poster meant they didn’t use nfp at all and accept children as they come. It was a joke…However, the Church allows couples to use NFP for just/grave/serious reasons. There’s no need for you to chastise those who feel they need to use NFP for the good of their marriage. You are not holier than the Pope and Bishops, and they deem NFP to be a moral means of spacing births.Oh, well, so long as y’all don’t pull out the comfy chair, I think I’ll come back inside.
That smacks of some serious emotional damage necessitating years of therapy!
Have a look-see at this poor fellow!
Really? Really?!?!? And you don’t think there’s anything** wrong **with that?
If it’s just hyperbole, fine and well. But this notion seems to very similar to what the secularists, modernists, and other sorts are always shouting, "They can’t control themselves! Everyone has needs!"
And sex is not a need. It’s a gift, a pleasure, but we should focus on the gift part. The giving part, of ourselves part. And when the two become one flesh, isn’t that one flesh occasionally two or three or more flesh-es? Bouncing, cooing, vomiting, defecating, but altogether adorable (especially when it’s yours) babies. That’s the point.
Hey! I’m glad it’s not viewed as a mechanical requirement, a “just get it over with” sorta thing! But I can’t say I’m especially convinced that the users of a method which take every “natural” step to prevent a pregnancy are open too it.
For one thing, charting out a plot to pick to opportune time to not fertalize is oh-so-spontaneous, oh-so-spurr-of-the-moment. Oh-so-romantic, and oh-so-sincere.
Now, denying the urges that aries at any of those romantic/spurr of the moment times, that could be well and good! A denial of the flesh would undoubtably strengthen the spirit! But why do these couples deny themselves during the fertile times? For the growth of their souls? To practice self control? No! For one thing only! To avoid bringing another child into the world!
Were a couple to have the the unfortunate luck of having the worst timing ever, so that “whenever the mood” struck them, *it so happened to be *during the womans infertile period, so be it! They’re not avoiding a child! They’re not seeking every possible, non-sinning route to avoid him or her or them!
But the couple which times, and measures, and tests, and examines, and calculates, and charts, can they be said to have “happened” innocently upon their time for lovemaking, and, oh! Alak! It’s terribly unlikely that a child should be born at* this-exact-moment-we’ve-been-waiting-the-whole-bloody-month-for*** but**, should one be concieved, we’ll gladly, without grumbles cough recieve him/her/them into this world.
Thank you Jennifer.
Thank you Jennifer and 3girlrus for your prayers. Jennifer, I would be doing well if I offered my mom a “quiet” comment! Yelling erupts in my family quite frequently. I think somebody made a mistake in our family tree, we must really be Italian. I promise I won’t yell about this, though. I know I have to be an example and that I must be kind and charitable. Its going to be hard, though.
I have nine children, two with special needs. I am doing the IMPOSSIBLE right now. If you think I exaggerate, I challenge YOU to do it and show me how. I CANNOT possibly care for another child unless SOMEONE agrees to help me physically, emotionally, and financially. I WANT to use NFP, but have an EXTREMELY difficult chart to interpret. NFP is not much different than complete abstainance for ME. And the only “support” I receive is criticism–I SHOULD be open to more children or I SHOULD accept complete abstainance as my cross (along with all my other crosses of course). This “support” makes a mockery of Catholic charity. As Catholics, it is not enough to follow Catholic moral teaching, we must also follow Catholic social teaching. We must support couples who use NFP for just reasons, and couples who cannot use NFP despite superhuman efforts to do so, and large families in crisis. This is ALL part of the Church’s pro-life mission.DeannaMarie,I am just plain mad.
Here are some examples.
Here are some examples.
(1) Volunteer to help me in my home with housework and childcare. My youngest child was born prematurely and spent 3 months in the NICU. She has been home for 4 months with oxygen and feeding assistance, except for a short stay in the hospital for surgery. I need help in my home to care for the other 8 children and maintain the house.
(2) Bring me a box of breakfast, lunch, or snack foods. Because I am busy with the needs of the baby, it is especially helpful to have foods brought to me that are easy to prepare.
(3) Call me several times each week to ask me how I am doing. I have few opportunities to leave the house so these phone calls are my only contact with others.
(4) Stop by for a quick visit. These short breaks relieve the stresses of caregiving.
(5) Listen to me. Do NOT tell me what I should do or think. This is especially important. I need friends to listen without being critical.
Thank you for asking.
I want to apologize for my outburst. I have been drowning for some time, and can’t hold it together anymore.done. Where you live and what you doing this afternoon? The last is the hardest for me. I’m not being critical. I’m a fixer. I see/hear a problem and I itch to fix it. I’ll bring chocolate to stuff in my mouth at those moments.
**I didn’t see anything in your post to apoogize for. I think your post is a good thing for people to read. Doing what god calls us to isn’t easy. Far too often people say things like, “this is just a cross to bear”. But they forget that Christ himself needed help to carry his. Praying for you to find a Simeon to help you carry your cross. **
I agree with this. It’s exactly what was going through our minds when my fiance and I were forced to go through NFP training for our marriage prep. Not saying that the class was an out and out bad idea…but yeah, it was like a foregone conclusion that we would use it. And when I expressed ititial frustration at having to take the course, it was assumed I felt that way because I was planning on using ABC instead.
Well except none of us have been called to use NFP out of obedience. It’s not only completely optional, but I still remember a time when it was first being introduced (pre-CCC) and it was presented as an exceptional thing…to be used only if there’s a really good/unavoidable reason and only after prayer and discernment. Nowadays NFP is so strongly recommended and marketed that a casual observer could be forgiven for assuming that it’s* required*. The classes are required in my diocese. It’s assumed that we’ll either use NFP or ABC, so they’re really trying to sell us on the NFP lol. And the “just reasons” clause seems pretty much left open to private interpretation. It’s interesting how much things have changed over the years in that respect.
Well, to be fair…Catholics in the US who use NFP are more the exception that Catholics using ABC or who sterilize themselves.
All joking aside from my previous joke of not being able to abstain; I agree with you that occassional abstinence is a good thing. I know that when I finally gave NFP a real chance, I began to appreciate the times that I could be with my husband more. The temporary break gave me something to look forward to. It also felt more like making love instead of just sexual gratification.
I have to agree. I think using NFP to avoid if needed can indeed be something that can be very beautiful in a marriage, but it is not a necessary part of responsible parenthood, or marriage in general, and I think that message often gets lost. While we were getting ready for marriage we were reading a lot of the Church documents on marriage etc, and I was a bit confused because these didn’t suggest we “needed” to use NFP, but many other Catholic sources and marriage prep resources did. Seriously, I ended up talking with several good priests about this, because we were almost being told we were going to miss out on building all sorts of virtues and important things in our marriage if we didn’t use NFP. I was like, goodness, I’m sure I can make up all sorts of reasons to use it, I have never lacked the ability to come up with excuses unfortunately, but what if deep inside we never felt like we had a reason we had to use it? Was our marriage going to suffer? Well, in short, I learned the answer was a big nope. The virtues from using NFP can be exercised and developed in other ways. It can actually be more harmful for our marriage if we use it without the right reasons. It was a relief to hear that the impression we had before being inundated with all the NFP pushing was true. Anyways, I think it is very cool that the Church in its wisdom has concluded that if necessary we can use the natural rhythms God designed in our bodies to be able to participate in the very important marital embrace even at times when we have discerned there are grave/serious/just reasons not to conceive, I love that.