Use NFP: It Doesn't Work

[Tosk]

My wife practices extreeme breast feeding.

Any advice on the abstinence part? Separate beds? Frumpy clothing? Self flagelation? Cold showers?

God bless,
Ut

Put a TV and a Xbox in your bedroom

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Put a TV and a Xbox in your bedroom

I’ve never understood these comments given current media trends.

I know we’re half joking here (I hope!), but aside from the illlogical notion that our over sexualized media is going to make a couple want sex less… How crummy would a marriage be if a couple desires the tv/xbox more than each other?!

---

oh well. guess we’ll just keep being open to life

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

How crummy would a marriage be if a couple desires the tv/xbox more than each other?!

Lol, I was thinking the same thing, lol, no offense, but I would bonk my dh on the head with the xbox if he acted like he pref it to me.

 

[DeannaMarie]

I struggled with NFP and tracking for the longest time. Then I started using the Fertility test strips that you can buy at any drugstore. They let you know what your days are that you are ovulating and they’ve worked extremely well for us. I was highly irregular and these tests are so helpful. They are a little pricey but if you have a health spending card/account through your insurance at work they will cover the cost of them.

I am interested in trying a fertility monitor, but do not have the money to cover the cost? Is there a group that can help with this expense?

 

[ac_claire]

I am interested in trying a fertility monitor, but do not have the money to cover the cost? Is there a group that can help with this expense?

Hmm…I don’t know of any, but would be happy to be proven wrong. There was a time I was interested in getting something like this. I have seen the ovulating strips advertised at 50 cents a strip online, that’s as low as I’ve seen them.

 

[Zelda_Hice]

I have to say I am enjoying reading these posts and the ongoing debate to NFP or not to NFP. I agree with so many points on both sides – it isn’t right for everyone, some of us have had great experiences while others have had unplanned pregnancies. When I made the decision to ‘go natural’ I had to ask myself a number of questions including

1. Am I willing to subject myself to the nightmare of hormones? NO. Especially considering the terrible reports we’ve been seeing these days on women dying from pills like YAZ.
2. Do I have the patience to give up convenience to know I am safe? Unequivocal YES
3. Do I have the right information and tools to make the practice effective? This one got me, frankly. I didn’t have time to make charts every morning and to check mucus. I don’t have that luxury or time when I have to be out of the house by 7:30am…besides, I know it isn’t always accurate.

There was also the fact that I felt this “old” method was just that – archaic to a degree and hadn’t really progressed into the 21st century – I personally like to use state-of-the-art tools for whatever task is at hand. Especially something as important as planning a child.

So – I am happy to share my success. I started using a tool that will do it all for me – all I do is take my temp, and the Lady-Comp does the rest. Interestingly enough, one of the benefits is that my husband also gets involved because he loves technology – when I take my temp in the morning an the device beeps he asks “where are we today?”. With charting, that certainly was not the case.

 

[ac_claire]

You don’t have the “luxury” to take 5 minutes out of the day to chart, but you do have the luxury of spending **$500 **for a machine that’ll do it for you? lol

 

[ac_claire]

You don’t have the “luxury” to take 5 minutes out of the day to chart, but you do have the luxury of spending **$500 **for a machine that’ll do it for you? lol

Also the main reason real Catholics avoid artificial birth control isn’t because of the “nightmare of hormones” but because it’s a mortal sin to use it. The nightmare of hormones part is a secondary reason, though.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Also the main reason real Catholics avoid artificial birth control isn’t because of the “nightmare of hormones” but because it’s a mortal sin to use it. The nightmare of hormones part is a secondary reason, though.

**no. They are real Catholics either way by virtue of their baptism. However the ideal that we do not choose to be open to life for fear of hell. We do so for love of God, spouse, child, and life.

But many women do want to avoid hormonal birth control for very valid health reasons. Remember not everyone (possibly even the majority?) of nfp users are not catholic.
**

 

[ac_claire]

**no. They are real Catholics either way by virtue of their baptism. However the ideal that we do not choose to be open to life for fear of hell. We do so for love of God, spouse, child, and life.

But many women do want to avoid hormonal birth control for very valid health reasons. Remember not everyone (possibly even the majority?) of nfp users are not catholic.
**

You’re right of course, and I agree. The “real” comment was disingenuous; directed at the previous poster who it appears has signed on to CAF to try and sell a $500 fertility-monitoring product.

But who knows, I could be wrong and he/she could very well be a sincere person trying to join the conversation. I suppose we should give him/her the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Zelda_Hice]

You don’t have the “luxury” to take 5 minutes out of the day to chart, but you do have the luxury of spending **$500 **for a machine that’ll do it for you? lol

Also the main reason real Catholics avoid artificial birth control isn’t because of the “nightmare of hormones” but because it’s a mortal sin to use it. The nightmare of hormones part is a secondary reason, though.

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

My apologies if I have somehow offended you by sharing a personal experience, however, my faith is not up for debate or judgment. And yes, if a machine will save me time that is better spent with my family each morning, it is a better solution for me.
The topic of this thread is “NFP doesn’t work…” and in my case, I have found a way that it does work – for me.

 

[Zelda_Hice]

You’re right of course, and I agree. The “real” comment was disingenuous; directed at the previous poster who it appears has signed on to CAF to try and sell a $500 fertility-monitoring product.

But who knows, I could be wrong and he/she could very well be a sincere person trying to join the conversation. I suppose we should give him/her the benefit of the doubt.

I think this reaction to my comment is quite interesting. I have been Catholic my entire life and while it might be taboo to say it, most of the women I know (Catholic and non-Catholic) use some method of birth control. Doctrine aside, NFP is simply GOOD for women’s health – in whatever way they choose to practice. I think there is a larger picture to consider which is public health - which should be considered by women in general. Certainly you are reading the news too? And you probably notice the commercials on TV for birth control for treating acne and so forth?

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

**i agree. I have to admit I almost never bring up religion when talking about birth control or my large family. For those that are more orthodox it’s talking to the choir. For those are not , they will usually not become so for that reason.

There are many reasons to not use birth control that have nothing to do with religion.
**

 

[JRPO]

My ex wife and I had a lot of trouble with NFP her body was so out of wack the Billings people said they were going to give her condition a name using our surname as the name of the syndrome if you can call it a syndrome.
In the end after consulting a priest and getting the Ok she used artificial contraception for medical reasons and that was awful really I hate artificial contraception.

It seems no matter what you do lifes a challenge or as a former Leader of my country once said " Life wasn’t meant to be easy " he was well remembered for saying that and very much despised

 

[ac_claire]

I think this reaction to my comment is quite interesting. I have been Catholic my entire life and while it might be taboo to say it, most of the women I know (Catholic and non-Catholic) use some method of birth control. Doctrine aside, NFP is simply GOOD for women’s health – in whatever way they choose to practice. I think there is a larger picture to consider which is public health - which should be considered by women in general. Certainly you are reading the news too? And you probably notice the commercials on TV for birth control for treating acne and so forth?

Sorry for making the rush judgement on your post. You only had one post to your name, and it was on an old thread and linked to an advertisement for a product. A lot of people who do that exact thing are commercial trolls, who sign up with the intent to sell us something, so that’s the conclusion I jumped to. Please forgive me if I was wrong.

No need for yall to stress the point about all the good reasons (aside from sin) to avoid ABC. I’m well aware. I’ve had a couple of doctors push birth control on me since I was a teenager and it’s never once been for contraception. I think both times it was because my periods had become erratic for some reason, and my doctors said that being on the Pill would somehow regulate that. And I was a smoker in college too…it’s sad that even I, who’s not a doctor, knew that people who smoke even lightly should NOT take the Pill at all but neither of these doctors seemed to care. One of my closest friends was just pressured to take a form of ABC for her acne. The commercials are insane…the list of “possible side effects” (including death, hello?!) take up half the commercial! lol

Even if I wasn’t Catholic, I can’t imagine ever being ok with manipulating my body that way.

 

[Zelda_Hice]

Well, now they are pushing YAZ, which has killed a number of women and teen, to control acne.
I am so outraged I seethe when I read the news.

BTW, when I found this site I was searching for “NFP” news to share with a friend and decided to log in and have a look. Truthfully, in my circle of friends, except for me, the topic of NFP doesn’t come up much and it isn’t that easy to find documentation that doesn’t completely turn women off (outside of the church) or make them believe that it is some sort of dated “hippie” trend. Convincing people to give up old habits and methods that are mainstream is difficult. Just like giving up smoking, I suppose. We end to either ignore the evidence or trust too much when we are bombarded with commercial marketing messages. Not to mention that most of our doctors don’t bother to question the safety of the drugs they prescribe.
The same goes when discussing the benefits of eating organic fruits and veggies. Even now, with plenty of proof that pesticides cause cancer, there is a backlash of fraud “science de-bunkers” telling us that organic isn’t better. It is ridiculous!!

Anyhow, enjoy your evening or morning – as I see, you and a few others responding are either staying up until the wee hours to post, or perhaps you live in Asia.

 

[manualman]

Deanna, What part of Washington State?

I’m not personally nearby, but I’ll check my ‘catholic mafia’ Rolodex…

I think you are suffering the side effect of the social breakdown in 21st Century America. We’ve got all these conveniences now that didn’t exist 200 years ago, but somehow in the process got swindled out of the close community contact everybody had back in those days. How’d that HAPPEN? How do we get that back?

Forgive a chronic Mr. Fixit guy his vice here a moment, but what you need isn’t a less rigorous morality, it is more christian fellowship and mutual support. Another poster mentioned Elizabeth Ministries. Do any of the parishes nearby offer one? Are there any mom support groups out there?

 

[manualman]

A lot of posters mentioned irritation with the way NFP is promoted as if it is for everybody rather than just an exception for those with a serious reason to avoid pregnancy.

That has some merit, but what such objectors don’t seem to notice is that NFP requires that monthly time of abstinance, which really amounts to a sexual fasting. A funny thing happens when you fast: The ‘still, small voice’ gets louder. You hear God speak to you. NFP isn’t self perpetuating like ABC is. It pushes you back towards reconsidering babies, rather than indulges you in pleasure divorced from its intent. In that sense, NFP DOES WORK when you understand what it is SUPPOSED to do. It is supposed to push you back toward life, is supposed to be a crucible test of your ‘just reason’ to avoid. Many the couple are like me that thought they had a just reason to avoid, but were confronted with our cowardliness during that abstinance time.

The OP article is harmful in that it is likely to confirm the nearly universal secular (and even catholic) attitude that NFP is just ‘catholic contraception.’ It isn’t. Not by a long shot. When a couple practices NFP and decides to “go for it” in spite of knowing that it is a potentially fertile time, NFP HAS worked! There are planned babies, unplanned babies and What the Heck Babies. The third of those are, indeed, unique catholic blessings not enjoyed by contraception practitioners. (And I got me one!)

 

[ryecroft]

Oh, well, so long as y’all don’t pull out the comfy chair, I think I’ll come back inside.

You betcha! Folks get mighty scary when the thought of loosing their precious sexual relations.

uch:

That smacks of some serious emotional damage necessitating years of therapy!

Have a look-see at this poor fellow!

Really? Really?!?!? And you don’t think there’s anything** wrong **with that?

If it’s just hyperbole, fine and well. But this notion seems to very similar to what the secularists, modernists, and other sorts are always shouting, "They can’t control themselves! Everyone has needs!"

And sex is not a need. It’s a gift, a pleasure, but we should focus on the gift part. The giving part, of ourselves part. And when the two become one flesh, isn’t that one flesh occasionally two or three or more flesh-es? Bouncing, cooing, vomiting, defecating, but altogether adorable (especially when it’s yours) babies. That’s the point.

Hey! I’m glad it’s not viewed as a mechanical requirement, a “just get it over with” sorta thing! But I can’t say I’m especially convinced that the users of a method which take every “natural” step to prevent a pregnancy are open too it.

For one thing, charting out a plot to pick to opportune time to not fertalize is oh-so-spontaneous, oh-so-spurr-of-the-moment. Oh-so-romantic, and oh-so-sincere.

Now, denying the urges that aries at any of those romantic/spurr of the moment times, that could be well and good! A denial of the flesh would undoubtably strengthen the spirit! But why do these couples deny themselves during the fertile times? For the growth of their souls? To practice self control? No! For one thing only! To avoid bringing another child into the world!

Were a couple to have the the unfortunate luck of having the worst timing ever, so that “whenever the mood” struck them, *it so happened to be *during the womans infertile period, so be it! They’re not avoiding a child! They’re not seeking every possible, non-sinning route to avoid him or her or them!

But the couple which times, and measures, and tests, and examines, and calculates, and charts, can they be said to have “happened” innocently upon their time for lovemaking, and, oh! Alak! It’s terribly unlikely that a child should be born at* this-exact-moment-we’ve-been-waiting-the-whole-bloody-month-for*** but**, should one be concieved, we’ll gladly, without grumbles cough recieve him/her/them into this world.

Tis post kind of bothered me. It’s as if you really don’t believe that there are any good reasons for couples NOT to have another child - I get the sarcasm, but I don’t want to make assumptions. NFP is the one way that the Church gives the o.k. for putting off children - yes, I agree that every child is a gift, but when I bring a “gift” into this world, I want to make sure that my husband and I can give him/her the best possible life. I want them to know that whatever they desire to do in life they’ll have the ability to do. And I don’t ever want any child to feel that he/she was brought into the world as an “oops” moment. Now if someone has as many resources as needed, the desire and the good health to give birth to 6 or 12 childrento raise a family of 6 or 12 than that’s great and kudos to them, but that is not the majority of people. I think soething else needs to be brought p hereand that is the time in which we are living. People may have needed to have more children 150 or even 1000 years ago - the mortality rates were extremely high. In some areas, a child less than 50/50 chance of making it to her/his 1st birthday. In some places, like the states we have gone in the other direction bit too much.
I agree that love making does have two purposes - but, I know that when we’re able to be open to life, my husband and I are not thinking everytime “oh boy, maybe we’ll make a child” - sometimes love making is just something that (personally), my husband or I want and we could care less about anything but how it feels. And I don’t see anything wrong with that. One thing that I did notice with the poll on here regarding NFP, that the are quite a few people who admit they couldn’t stick to the rules and got pregnant . Plain and siple, there are just times when it’s not the right time for a couple to get pregnant - there are any number of good reasons for this decision and you seem to feel (and correct me if I"m wrong) that there really isn’t any good reason for them to not want to get pregnant. If even the Church says there are good reasons for couples to avoid getting pregnant, than why do you seem t imply that ther ar no good reasons? This is the one avenue that the Church allows couples to use to prevent or encourage becoming pregnant- and even when it’s used perfectly (to avoid pregnancy) , sometimes pregnancy occurs anyway. Do you think this method should be banished by the Church as well? Personally, I know that even if I was healthy enough to have had many, many children, I would have wanted to stop at 3 or 4 because that is all we can afford to have while still giving them everything we feel is necessary for them to have. I am not anti children by any means but I am (personally) against having more than we feel we could handle properly.

God Bless
Ryecroft

 

[ryecroft]

My ex wife and I had a lot of trouble with NFP her body was so out of wack the Billings people said they were going to give her condition a name using our surname as the name of the syndrome if you can call it a syndrome.
In the end after consulting a priest and getting the Ok she used artificial contraception for medical reasons and that was awful really I hate artificial contraception.

It seems no matter what you do lifes a challenge or as a former Leader of my country once said " Life wasn’t meant to be easy " he was well remembered for saying that and very much despised

Hi - let me preface to say I’m not asking this to be rude or anything, but what about the artificial contraception did you hate? You mentioned your wife needed it for medical reasons which the Priest was right, for some medical reasons, the artificial contraception is allowed. I’m curious because I hear women mention not liking it sometimes but I rarely come upon a husband who has a problem with ABC. Did your wife have a problem with it to?

God Bless
Rye