Use NFP: It Doesn't Work

[Prodigal_Son]

From the article:

As a slogan, “Use NFP: It Doesn’t Work!” has many strong arguments in its favor. First, it is true. NFP proponents tout its 99 percent effectiveness rate, but they neglect to mention that this is true only if the husband is in the Navy and assigned to extended, uninterrupted sea duty of three-year tours or longer.

Kids are blessings. Let’s have lots of them, and they will evangelize the people who think kids are curses.

 

[mom24boys]

I can definitely see your point of view. I, too, am a Fertile Myrtle (I call myself)…and could potentially conceive later in life…my mother didn’t go through Menopause until her 50’s. I also have a low drive when not the fertile time…and both DH & I work full time (he on nights…me on days to keep kids out of daycare) and we’re so busy with the four we have…so yes…I know I would love the ability to be spontaneous, too…

There are times I think we are absolutely finished bearing children. There are times…when I have time to think about it…that I worry we’ll go 10 years successfully avoiding and then WHAMMO…we’ll be in our 40’s with an obvious surprise blessing…then when I have time to think about it…I worry that our new method might not be as easy/safe as we think … and what if I get pregnant within this next year?

And, as I type all that…I realize how grateful I am that I really don’t have a lot of time to think about it. and I figure…I’ll be in my mid-50s one day…menopause starting and/or finishing…and sponteneity will be there and I pray for my health and my husband’s health that we will be together, in love and still want each other regularly…

So, yeah, I get it. Prayers for you and your husband.

Well, it sounds like you an I are in the same boat. And you wouldn’t honestly classify this as “hard”? I think that if you and I described our circumstances to young couples in an pre-marriage class it might not sound all that rosy! Because, most of what I read and hear about NFP are the positives… great communication, getting to know your body, low divorce rate, etc (the things the article was making fun of). Its like it has to be wrapped up in a pretty package and “sold” to get the few couples who will to buy into it. Because, to me, the truth of it is, that it IS a cross. And that is not necessarily bad, because our crosses will purify us. And perhaps NFP should be a cross, something you resort to if you HAVE to, but not the default setting for a Catholic marriage. I believe that was even the point of the article.

 

[AP4Him]

I laughed.

You know, I think NFP works, but I still like the article, because I think the church pushes NFP way too much! What do I mean? Well, it is like the Church has given up: “Well, no one is going to just be open to life. Everyone wants some spacing or delay…what can we do? How about we sell them on NFP?”

No, really, not trying to be a jerk, but in my pre-cana prep, we had a big long lecture on NFP. We were told how great it worked, how all couples should use it, etc. It was like ALL Catholic couples SHOULD use it. NO ONE ever told us that it was perfectly fine to just do NOTHING, accepting what God sends us. It was just expected that we should use it to delay or space! How sad!

Most pp assume we use it! We do not.

 

[yessisan]

Funny article… with some interesting points.

I got to agree:thumbsup:

However, there are situations when NFP may be necessary… and when it is necessary, it’s nice to know it DOES work - you just have to DO it RIGHT!

And agree to this too! If the user doesn’t follow the rules, THEY.WILL.FAIL!

Another aspect that I didn’t like was his insinuation that “big families” were automatically “good Catholics”. That could be a slap in the face to struggling infertile couples.

Tell me about it! I come from a good Catholic family, follow NFP, and have infertility issues. It does insinuate that big families are “good Catholics”… does that mean that because my family is just DH and I, we’re not good Catholics (or at least me since DH isn’t Catholic)?

But I have to say NFP does work. I’m proof of that for both avoiding and conceiving, oh and of course to find infertility problems because of the use of NFP.

 

[bluerose]

I laughed.

You know, I think NFP works, but I still like the article, because I think the church pushes NFP way too much! What do I mean? Well, it is like the Church has given up: “Well, no one is going to just be open to life. Everyone wants some spacing or delay…what can we do? How about we sell them on NFP?”

No, really, not trying to be a jerk, but in my pre-cana prep, we had a big long lecture on NFP. We were told how great it worked, how all couples should use it, etc. It was like ALL Catholic couples SHOULD use it. NO ONE ever told us that it was perfectly fine to just do NOTHING, accepting what God sends us. It was just expected that we should use it to delay or space! How sad!

Most pp assume we use it! We do not.

This is very true. When DH and I went through our pre-Cana counseling (be advised, this was 22 years ago) the couple we had as our counselors were very high on NFP, so much so that they told us how EVERY ONE of their six children was planned (especially around major events so Mom wouldn’t be unable to attend and/or participate) and they all knew the date upon which they were conceived. It was written in their baby books. TMI, if you ask me.

They asked us if we were interested in learning Natural Family Planning. DH said, “We plan to have a family as naturally as possible. We’re leaving it up to God!”

Twenty-one years of marriage and we have ONE son… by adoption. I guess that was God’s plan. If we had followed OUR plan, we wouldn’t have him. We wouldn’t trade him for anything!

 

[kage_ar]

NFP is hard to use!!! I wish people would be honest about that.

If it is hard, you are using the wrong method.

NFP is not “one size fits all”, do the research and find what will work with your lifestyle.

For me, it was notice my mucous. If it is fertile, we abstain for a few days. Simple as pie! For others, temping every day is easiest. For others, it is using a fertility monitor. Some use a combo.

Find what rings with you and use it!

 

[mizznicole]

I find it difficult to read the signs during breastfeeding. You can’t rely on temps because sleep is unpredictable. With breastfeeding, there is a continuous mucous flow. So for me, yes, I’d say it’s a challenge. Enlighten me on how you can use it and not be ultra conservative while breastfeeding.

 

[3GirlsRUs]

Well, it sounds like you an I are in the same boat. And you wouldn’t honestly classify this as “hard”? I think that if you and I described our circumstances to young couples in an pre-marriage class it might not sound all that rosy! Because, most of what I read and hear about NFP are the positives… great communication, getting to know your body, low divorce rate, etc (the things the article was making fun of). Its like it has to be wrapped up in a pretty package and “sold” to get the few couples who will to buy into it. Because, to me, the truth of it is, that it IS a cross. And that is not necessarily bad, because our crosses will purify us. And perhaps NFP should be a cross, something you resort to if you HAVE to, but not the default setting for a Catholic marriage. I believe that was even the point of the article.

Well, I guess my personality is one of those that doesn’t really focus on the hard part…just the right part.

And, I can credit some of my comfort to studying Church documents on the why’s of NFP. For some reason when I put intimacy with my husband in the context of eternal salvation and holiness…it changes the way I feel about the whole thing. Maybe that helps me…I dunno. Honestly…I’d love to be in a situation financially where I wouldn’t have to use anything and could be in a position where I wouldn’t have to worry if I had back-to-back-to-back babies…but we’re not there right now. Maybe we’ll get there, maybe we won’t. I am thankful for NFP that I learned about my PCOS, I learned about my body and I know how to ensure spacing of my children so that we are not completely financially strapped…

I do agree with kage about finding the right method…we used Sympto-Thermal all the way up to before we got pregnant with our son last year. After we had him, my doc told me about Marquette Model and how they were doing a study and asked if we wanted to participate. So we did…and now we love using a monitor. I really wish I had just learned Marquette Model from the get go…I think it works very well with my personality.

 

[DeannaMarie]

NFP does work for most people, but it is VERY HARD for some. I have a constant fertile type mucus and irregular temperatures which create a confusing chart. I have learned the Sypto-Thermal, Billings, and Creighton methods, consulted many teachers, and even a Creighton doctor and no one can help me. They can teach me the method, but they can not make the method work for me. If my husband and I wish to prevent conception, our only option is complete abstainance. I would consider this our cross to bear, if we did not already has so many more. I am a cancer survivor, my husband has diabetes, and both of us have clinical depression. We have nine children (7m-16y)–four were born prematurely, five spent time in the NICU (2-13 weeks), and two have special needs. My husband’s income is not sufficient to support us, so we rely on government assistance. And we have little help from family and friends. We have reached the end of what we can do physically and emotionally. We are desperate for NFP to work for us. Please Pray!

 

[agapewolf]

NFP does work for most people, but it is VERY HARD for some. I have a constant fertile type mucus and irregular temperatures which create a confusing chart. I have learned the Sypto-Thermal, Billings, and Creighton methods, consulted many teachers, and even a Creighton doctor and no one can help me. They can teach me the method, but they can not make the method work for me. If my husband and I wish to prevent conception, our only option is complete abstainance. I would consider this our cross to bear, if we did not already has so many more. I am a cancer survivor, my husband has diabetes, and both of us have clinical depression. We have nine children (7m-16y)–four were born prematurely, five spent time in the NICU (2-13 weeks), and two have special needs. My husband’s income is not sufficient to support us, so we rely on government assistance. And we have little help from family and friends. We have reached the end of what we can do physically and emotionally. We are desperate for NFP to work for us. Please Pray!

Have you asked the NFP doc about a cryo? That worked magic for me.

 

[Serap]

I thought the article was hilarious and laughed all the way through it!!! Thankfully, my husband can communicate a little bit better than the example and he changes diagpers

Luckily, NFP works for me like a charm. I have a very predictable cycle and I have to say that NFP has been effective for us.

When people ask my husband and I if we want more children, I say, “well, I don’t think we’re going to try again, but we may end-up with an oops baby.”

 

[Tosk]

NFP does work for most people, but it is VERY HARD for some. I have a constant fertile type mucus and irregular temperatures which create a confusing chart. I have learned the Sypto-Thermal, Billings, and Creighton methods, consulted many teachers, and even a Creighton doctor and no one can help me. They can teach me the method, but they can not make the method work for me. If my husband and I wish to prevent conception, our only option is complete abstainance. I would consider this our cross to bear, if we did not already has so many more. I am a cancer survivor, my husband has diabetes, and both of us have clinical depression. We have nine children (7m-16y)–four were born prematurely, five spent time in the NICU (2-13 weeks), and two have special needs. My husband’s income is not sufficient to support us, so we rely on government assistance. And we have little help from family and friends. We have reached the end of what we can do physically and emotionally. We are desperate for NFP to work for us. Please Pray!

My wife and I are in similar circumstances. I have no doubt that NFP works for some people but for us there is no difference between NFP and complete abstinence for me and my wife. My wife’s temps are erratic and there is constant fertile mucus. We can rely on LH testing sometimes but that isn’t always easy to read. We have been to about 4 instructors and have tried 3 different methods so far nothing has worked. My wife’s doctor told her to be patient that there are a lot of people that it takes 6 or 7 children before they find something to work, but I think she has had it.

In retrospect, I am really glad that NFP doesn’t work because we would probably just now be having our 1st child. Having children when we did put us in very hard circumstances but I’ve learned it is all fun and games as long as nobody gets killed or seriously maimed.

 

[Good_Daughter]

Of course, I sure some NFPers will be along soon to properly chastise you.

NFP zealot here, and I’ve come to properly chastise the OP. I say we give him…the comfy chair.

We can rely on LH testing sometimes…

I’m curious to know if LH testing is similar to the fertility monitoring done with a device like the OvaCue. My NFP gurus (one of whom isn’t even Catholic) have been using an OvaCue for some time now and loving it, despite problems with constant fertile-type mucus.

 

[Tosk]

I’m curious to know if LH testing is similar to the fertility monitoring done with a device like the OvaCue. My NFP gurus (one of whom isn’t even Catholic) have been using an OvaCue for some time now and loving it, despite problems with constant fertile-type mucus.

We used the Lady comp, then Billings, and then SymptoThermal with LH test strips. We had the most success with the LH test strips to detect phase 3 with ST. I’ve looked at the OvaCue but it is too late now since my wife says my little science experiment with her body is officially over.

 

[Joe_5859]

I guess different people have different experiences of NFP! For us, it’s been a breeze to use. My wife just takes her temp every morning and charts it. She doesn’t even pay that much attention to the mucus levels. It’s always really obvious when the ovulation is occuring. So it’s worked quite well for us. Her cycle is pretty regular, though.

 

[Good_Daughter]

We used the Lady comp, then Billings, and then SymptoThermal with LH test strips. We had the most success with the LH test strips to detect phase 3 with ST. I’ve looked at the OvaCue but it is too late now since my wife says my little science experiment with her body is officially over.

Interesting, I’d heard of LadyComp, but not LH test strips. If you don’t mind further questions, where did you get them (the LH test strips) and how are they used? Were they the best you tried, but still not totally reliable?

Your poor wife sounds worn out from the struggle. She has my sympathy as I can relate. After my current pregnancy is over, I may try the OvaCue but, my husband and I may go the abstinence route. Experimenting with NFP sure can get tedious and I’m not about to inflict surgery or medication on my perfectly healthy body. You’re both in my prayers.

 

[3GirlsRUs]

I’m curious to know if LH testing is similar to the fertility monitoring done with a device like the OvaCue. My NFP gurus (one of whom isn’t even Catholic) have been using an OvaCue for some time now and loving it, despite problems with constant fertile-type mucus.

Not sure. But I use the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor…it’s Digital. It measures whatever hormone surges right before and during ovulation…It has worked perfectly for us so far…we just started our 4th cycle using it. Since we are doing a study on the efficacy of the monitor and were slotted into the “monitor” group…we have only been relying on the monitor for all these cycles. But once the study is over, we plan to chart mucous readings to use the monitor and CM to cross-check each other.

 

[utunumsint]

Interesting, I’d heard of LadyComp, but not LH test strips. If you don’t mind further questions, where did you get them (the LH test strips) and how are they used? Were they the best you tried, but still not totally reliable?

Your poor wife sounds worn out from the struggle. She has my sympathy as I can relate. After my current pregnancy is over, I may try the OvaCue but, my husband and I may go the abstinence route. Experimenting with NFP sure can get tedious and I’m not about to inflict surgery or medication on my perfectly healthy body. You’re both in my prayers.

I just bought the OvaCue for my wife, but after doing a little more research, I realize I should have gone for the OvaCue II. There is prediction software on the OvaCue that only really works if you are a person with fairly regular cycles and only one estrogen surge. THey say it does the same thing as CleaBlue by measuring electrolite levels wich rise at the same time that the estrogen levels rise during the folicle selection. Based on the data it provides, you can (apparently) p(name removed by moderator)oint your date of ovulation from 5 to 7 days ahead of time.

Hope it works.

My wife is not keen on the science experiment either, but we really need to space out our next child.

God bless,
Ut

 

[DeannaMarie]

In retrospect, I am really glad that NFP doesn’t work because we would probably just now be having our 1st child. Having children when we did put us in very hard circumstances but I’ve learned it is all fun and games as long as nobody gets killed or seriously maimed.

I hope that someday I will feel the same way, but right now I regret relying on NFP. I am frustrated that our Catholic Church has not done more to help us. There are no programs available in our parish or diocese to support us. And many of our friends have walked away. Perhaps I will be able to change this. God Bless!

 

[utunumsint]

I hope that someday I will feel the same way, but right now I regret relying on NFP. I am frustrated that our Catholic Church has not done more to help us. There are no programs available in our parish or diocese to support us. And many of our friends have walked away. Perhaps I will be able to change this. God Bless!

I sometimes wonder where NFP would be right now if it had the same amount of money provided to condom companies, or companies that do research on the pill? I suspect the science of NFP is still in its infancy. Perhaps the future will provide better, and more accurate ways of detecting ovulation in advance.

Its a nice though, and it gives me some hope.

My wife and I also have had a brutal time with NFP. She has constant fertile signs, and her cycle can last anywhere from 30 days to 60 days, means much, much abstience. Our last child was an NFP mistake (I hate saying it that way because we really do love him), so we are using all licit tools available to us this time around. I’m hoping the OvaCue will help.

God bless,
Ut