Use NFP: It Doesn't Work

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DeannaMarie said:
I hope that someday I will feel the same way, but right now I regret relying on NFP. I am frustrated that our Catholic Church has not done more to help us. There are no programs available in our parish or diocese to support us. And many of our friends have walked away. Perhaps I will be able to change this. God Bless! 🙂
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CCLI has 11 teaching couples in your state, I am sure that if these couples are not near you that they can assist you in finding someone nearby (or would be willing to travel to work with you). They also have a home study course.

ccli.org/learn/tcsearch.php

**Scott & Marie Elmenhurst
**Woodinville, Washington
425-788-2453 nota.bene@verizon.net
King County Chapter Seattle Diocese
English

**Michael & Monica Bernstein
**Seattle, Washington
(206) 523-1903 monicadevet@hotmail.com
Sno-King Counties Chapter Seattle Diocese
English

**Raymond & Elizabeth Felderhoff
**Everett, Washington
(425) 259-1656 rfelderhoff@ieee.org
Sno-King Counties Chapter Seattle Diocese
English

**Christopher & Christine Ryalls
**[Gig Harbor, Washington](http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Gig Harbor,+Washington&spn=0.923086,2.774048&om)
253-851-7445 c2.ryalls@gmail.com
Pierce County Chapter Seattle Diocese
English

**David & Joanne Graves
**Poulsbo, Washington
(360) 779-9979 info@nfp4life.org
Poulsbo, Wa Chapter Seattle Diocese
English

**Jim & Sue Davis
**Tacoma, Washington
253-759-5616 sddjmj@comcast.net
Pierce County Chapter Seattle Diocese
English

**Steve & Susan Yunker
**Wenatchee, Washington
509-662-5167 stevensusie@msn.com
Wenatchee Chapter Yakima Diocese

**Trung & Julie Tran
**[Moses Lake, Washington](http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Moses Lake,+Washington&spn=0.923086,2.774048&om)
(509) 989-3550 emjulie2000@yahoo.com
Moses Lake Chapter Yakima Diocese
English

**Kenneth & Danielle Treis
**[Saint John, Washington](http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Saint John,+Washington&spn=0.923086,2.774048&om)
(509) 648-3947 dktreis@miriamtech.com
Walla Walla Chapter Spokane Diocese
English

**Noe & Cristina Perez
**[Walla Walla, Washington](http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Walla Walla,+Washington&spn=0.923086,2.774048&om)
509-526-4336
Walla Walla Chapter Spokane Diocese
Spanish

**Mark & Cheryl Wilson
**[Walla Walla, Washington](http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Walla Walla,+Washington&spn=0.923086,2.774048&om)
509-529-6533 mccaltl7@bmi.net
Walla Walla Chapter Spokane Diocese
 
Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, the charts can be thrown away (what’s so “natural” about them?..
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…As a slogan, “Use NFP: It Doesn’t Work!” puts the focus where it belongs – on babies – and away from a technique…
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…In his book The Truth of Catholicism, George Weigel approvingly quotes several paragraphs from a woman in love with NFP. She reminds us that:
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Natural Family Planning is not the justly ridiculed rhythm method, which involves vaguely guessing when the woman expects to ovulate and abstaining for a few days around day fourteen of her cycle. The full method involves charting a woman’s waking temperatures, changes in cervical fluid, and the position of the cervix.
Nothing unnatural or artificial about that, is there?..
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The above text echoes my arguments against the so called “*natural *family planning”.

To my mind, it’s as natural as coitus interuptus, as wholesome as planting crops in the wrong season. I cannot help but imagine that NFPers might be winking to eachother as did the anciet Roman priests as they accepted donations to the temples; temples dedicated to gods they knew were false.

My two cents thus deposited, I shall flee this thread with the uptmost terror.
 
Dtmccameron said:
The above text echoes my arguments against the so called “*natural *family planning”.

To my mind, it’s as natural as coitus interuptus, as wholesome as planting crops in the wrong season. I cannot help but imagine that NFPers might be winking to eachother as did the anciet Roman priests as they accepted donations to the temples; temples dedicated to gods they knew were false.

My two cents thus deposited, I shall flee this thread with the uptmost terror.
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I’m just glad the Church disagrees with you… 😉
 
kage_ar said:
CCLI has 11 teaching couples in your state, I am sure that if these couples are not near you that they can assist you in finding someone nearby (or would be willing to travel to work with you). They also have a home study course.
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Thank you for taking the time to research this for me. After the birth of our third child, I took the CCL course with one of the wonderful teaching couples you listed. When they were not able to help, I spoke with a man at the CCL Office. He was also not able to help me. I was told at that time that if we wished to avoid conception, then we would have to accept complete abstainance. After the birth of our sixth child, we decided to try Creighton. We have just had our ninth child, and I am now working with a local nurse to chart mucus, temperature, and cervix. (she calls it Billings, but I call it STM). But I might just try CCL again as well. God Bless! 🙂
 
I have learned the Billings, Sympto-Thermal, and Creighton methods, but I am not familiar with any of the devices being mentioned. Are they easy to use? Are they reliable? Do you use them alone? Where do you get them? Are they inexpensive? Thanks. 🙂
 
**well I laughed my bum off and though the article was hilarious a and probably more than a little accurate too. There’s a lot of talk about which
method or “rule” of nfp use works best, but the truth is that the one rule they all have in common is when in doubt - abstain. For US we’d rather just abstain than deal with NFP, which we really dislike using and certainly wouldn’t feel natural about using it. **
 
Rob_s_Wife said:
**well I laughed my bum off and though the article was hilarious a and probably more than a little accurate too. There’s a lot of talk about which
method or “rule” of nfp use works best, but the truth is that the one rule they all have in common is when in doubt - abstain. For US we’d rather just abstain than deal with NFP, which we really dislike using and certainly wouldn’t feel natural about using it. **
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I couldn’t abstain if I tried 😃
 
DeannaMarie said:
I have learned the Billings, Sympto-Thermal, and Creighton methods, but I am not familiar with any of the devices being mentioned. Are they easy to use? Are they reliable? Do you use them alone? Where do you get them? Are they inexpensive? Thanks. 🙂
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I researched two. One was the LadyComp which takes your temperature alone and claims to get to know your individual cycle patterns. But I found that on the Raxco webpage it said not to use it if your cycle is longer than 38 days. That rules us out for that product, although it would be the easiest to use if regular NFP methods are a complete failure.

The other product is much hard to use. Its called the OvaCue. Its designed to predict ovulation from 5 to 7 days in advance. I bought it, but then realized I shoudl have gone with the OvaCue II. They both do the same thing, but the OvaCue has software designed for people with more regular cycles, and only one estrogen surge, which they call the CuePeak. My wife, most likely has three surges, if our Sympto-Termal observations are any clue. Still, the OvaCue does provide a new set of data to compare with your regular Sympto-Thermal or Creighton observations, so it can’t hurt.

We decided against the LadyComp, becauce we are a little unclear about the science behind it. It seems to be a hypped up version of the rythm method, that uses temperature and statistical probablity drawn from the data of your previous cycles to determin when you’ve ovulated. I suppose it could work, but I’ll need to see more North American studies to confirm it before I put my faith in it.

Both are expesive, up to 400 US, but the OvaCue II might be somewhat less expensive, although it is hard to figure out.

Hope this helps,
God bless,
Ut

P.S. When my wife is off breast feeding, and we start using the OvaCue, I’ll post our success/failure with it here.
 
3GirlsRUs and utunumsint, thanks for the fertility monitor information.
Dtmccameron said:
My two cents thus deposited, I shall flee this thread with the uptmost terror.
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Yes, you’d better go before we give you… the soft cushions. (Honestly, are NFP users that scary?)

The “natural” in NFP simply refers to the fact that conception is avoided by having sexual intercourse during periods of “natural” infertility, as opposed to the “artificial” infertility of contraception. Maybe you’d prefer to use a more secular name like the Fertility Awareness Method of family planning (FAM) as some do.

The use of NFP is not natural, but then again, neither are cars or houses.
 
Serap said:
I couldn’t abstain if I tried 😃
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**then I would wager you probably don’t need to as much as you think you do. we’re not big on abstaining either. Obviously. But when the occassion was serious enough we found we could manage it;) **
 
Rob_s_Wife said:
**then I would wager you probably don’t need to as much as you think you do. we’re not big on abstaining either. Obviously. But when the occassion was serious enough we found we could manage it;) **
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well you have a basketball team with subs…I would abstain too 😛

I have 2 (one of them on the way)…NFP seems to work for me, but then again, I ovulate like clockwork within a day or two. DH and I only need to abstain for about 9 days in my cycle…then it’s a rockin’ time 👍

I
 
**no. It’s not like that at all. Once u have a basketball team with subs u start to figure what’s the big deal with having another. I know very few families who bother to abstain after having 5+ dc. 1 more than 9 just doesn’t seem like the big number it used to be back when I had 4. 🙂 **
 
Rob_s_Wife said:
**well I laughed my bum off and though the article was hilarious a and probably more than a little accurate too. There’s a lot of talk about which
method or “rule” of nfp use works best, but the truth is that the one rule they all have in common is when in doubt - abstain. For US we’d rather just abstain than deal with NFP, which we really dislike using and certainly wouldn’t feel natural about using it. **
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Yes, it is strange but complete abstinence is easier than using NFP. I just suppose that NFP might be better for my marriage, which is the only reason I do any of the NFP nonsense.
Does NFP have a patron saint? For some reason St. Bernadette comes to mind since she had the humility to dig in the dirt and eat roots, leaves, and dirt out of obedience to Mary. I have been praying to her since it seems I am doing all this silliness for no reason that I can understand and NFP seems designed for maximum humiliation, much like eating dirt.
 
Rob_s_Wife said:
**no. It’s not like that at all. Once u have a basketball team with subs u start to figure what’s the big deal with having another. I know very few families who bother to abstain after having 5+ dc. 1 more than 9 just doesn’t seem like the big number it used to be back when I had 4. 🙂 **
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I’ve often wondered about that since having my 4th. It was so hard hearing the disappointment in some family members’ reactions to our news that we were having our 3rd and then our 4th (about which we were so happy)…and when I take the time to fear being open to a 5th child…it is THAT disappointment I realize I am fearing. I don’t fear a 5th child…I don’t fear the love I will have for him/her or the blessing s/he would be for our family…it’s just so silly, I realize.
 
3GirlsRUs said:
I’ve often wondered about that since having my 4th. It was so hard hearing the disappointment in some family members’ reactions to our news that we were having our 3rd and then our 4th (about which we were so happy)…and when I take the time to fear being open to a 5th child…it is THAT disappointment I realize I am fearing. I don’t fear a 5th child…I don’t fear the love I will have for him/her or the blessing s/he would be for our family…it’s just so silly, I realize.
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I so totally understand what you are saying. We have 6 and in my heart of hearts I’d like more. But I dread the reaction of others (family members), well, and we’d have to buy a much larger car :D. Silly reasons, but very real reasons for me. There are other considerations, but those stick out the most in my adled brain…which is sad.
 
Jennifer_J said:
I so totally understand what you are saying. We have 6 and in my heart of hearts I’d like more. But I dread the reaction of others (family members), well, and we’d have to buy a much larger car :D. Silly reasons, but very real reasons for me. There are other considerations, but those stick out the most in my adled brain…which is sad.
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Ditto. My wife is so strongly influenced by my family’s negative attitude towards our third, that she is more terrified of their reaction to a fourth, than she is about have a fourth. :confused:

God bless,
Ut
 
I the humorous spirit of the original article, I hereby offer the following:

What do you call couples who use NFP?
.
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.Parents!
 
I have to ditto the sentiment on telling family members. I think I might tell my mother about our news this weekend… a part of me wants to keep it to myself a little bit longer and another part of me wants to get it over with. I really struggle with negative feelings toward my mother over this. I mean, why would a grandmother get upset over having another grandchild for Pete’s sake? And this is a twisted world when a married couple has to dread telling people they are having a baby, like they have committed a crime or something! Anyway, if anybody here thinks of it, please pray for me that I would be kind to my mother when her reaction is less enthusiastic than what I’d like.
 
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