Vocations Needed. Why are parents so stingy?

[CSJ]

Just to clarify the original intent of my thread:

By no means do I condone “pushing” any child into the vocation of the priesthood. Not all are called to be priests. What I find sad is that some parents discourage their children from even considering the “call.” This is a great injustice, not only to the child, but also to God - it is no less than an attempted robbery.

I agree with one of the previous posts that we should love our children regardless of their choice and accept their decision. If we truly love and trust God, then we must accept that our Father knows best and He knows where we will be most fulfilled in our walk with Him. I am ready to accept that any or all of my boys may be called to be priests or that any or all may be called to another vocation in life. Whatever the outcome, I only pray for God’s will to be done in their lives for I know that this is where they will be happiest in the big picture of their earthly lives as well as in eternity.

God’s ways are higher than mine and His thoughts are higher than mine - and thank Heaven for that!

God Bless,
CSJ

 

[Cristiano]

I may get slammed for this but here goes…I’m the wife of a permanent deacon. My husband is pretty young, we’re both 48 and he has been ordained for 4 years now. We have two children, a son and a daughter. My husband’s mother, family wanted him to become a priest. He married and answered the call at 40.

I think many families who are true to the faith want a child to become a priest. But from a parent’s point of view, we all have hopes and dreams for our kids. I learned the hard way those hopes and dreams usually are not the hopes and dreams of our kids.

Why, do we, as parents, have to push our children to be something? I strongly feel we need to leave them alone and let them choose what they want. It’s their lives and if we were pushed that is more the reason for us to let them decide who or what they want to be.

I do agree many parents get a proud fufilled feeling as a child chooses holy orders. However I also feel many do want grandchildren. Then for those who find out they have a gay child it’s a whole different story. So many times it’s not as what we want.

I strongly feel we have to love and accept them for who they are and who they choose to become. We set the the seeds with religion, manners, and education and can only hope they make the best choices. So, I don’t think Parents are stingy, but in the same respect we should not be forcing any career on them.

Those who are afraid to talk to your parents about becoming a priest or nun, just do it, talk to them. I’m sure they will support you. You may shatter their dreams but remember that is ok, they are their dreams not yours. Follow your heart and I wish you all of god’s blessings!

Let me slam you in this way we can say that at least someone did it even if you are correct in your thinking.

The only point were I completely disagree with you is when you say that your in laws wanted you husband to become a priest and that he answered the call when he was 40. The diaconate and priesthood are two different calls and I doubt that either your husband and the Church see that as following his parents wishes.

 

[diamond_girl]

Let me slam you in this way we can say that at least someone did it even if you are correct in your thinking.

The only point were I completely disagree with you is when you say that your in laws wanted you husband to become a priest and that he answered the call when he was 40. The diaconate and priesthood are two different calls and I doubt that either your husband and the Church see that as following his parents wishes.

Let me clarify myself. I apologize, I have to get used to the fact that when I type something, a thought, some people do not comprehend it as it was ment. With that said, I ment the sentance, the thought to be how my inlaws saw something in my husband and had hoped he would get the call to become a priest. He evidently did not get that call because he chose to marry and did get “a” call to become a deacon at the age of 40. It was never intended to make anyone think that the call to the priesthood and to become a deacon are one in the same. The phrase “he ansewered the call” was ment as he got the call from god to serve him. And I also was not trying to convey that my husband or the church feel or see “that call” as following the parents wishes…it was ment to show how his parents wanted one thing and he was called to another in response to my point how many parents really want one of their sons to get the call, to the priesthood.

 

[nurselisa99]

I have been married almost 8 years and have only one son, who is two. Even though he could end up being the only child I ever have, I still pray for if it be God’s will, for him to receive a religious vocation. I pray this as part of the third decade of my rosary every day. I would be perfectly willing for my son to answer God’s call, because if he never provided me with an earthly grandchild, he would have many spiritual children as a priest. I would take solace in the hands I marveled at when they were so tiny being the hands God used to bring Jesus to the people in the Blessed Sacrament. So, it is selfish to not want your child to be a priest or religious in my opinion. But, if it’s not meant to be, that’s ok too. It would be a great blessing, though.

 

[jeanne71350]

I have been married almost 8 years and have only one son, who is two. Even though he could end up being the only child I ever have, I still pray for if it be God’s will, for him to receive a religious vocation. I pray this as part of the third decade of my rosary every day. I would be perfectly willing for my son to answer God’s call, because if he never provided me with an earthly grandchild, he would have many spiritual children as a priest. I would take solace in the hands I marveled at when they were so tiny being the hands God used to bring Jesus to the people in the Blessed Sacrament. So, it is selfish to not want your child to be a priest or religious in my opinion. But, if it’s not meant to be, that’s ok too. It would be a great blessing, though.

Oh that is lovely. I’m an only child, and I’m discerning a religious vocation, and my parents are not too excited about that because they want grandkids. I wish they thought like you!

-Jeanne

 

[gallowglass]

I don’t think it is a question of parents being stingy. I am a grandfather now. As a young father, I would have had would have misgivings if my son had chosen to be a priest or my daughter a nun. I would have the same thoughts about my grandchildren now. I have always been uneasy about the celibacy insistence. This seems to me unnatural and cruel and to lead to all sorts of emotional and psychological troubles. Different if this is a state chosen freely although I must say that I doubt very much the ability of a celibate to give sound advice to married people on family issues.

Time to tackle the dearth of vocations by opening the priesthood up to all and recognising that the will to serve God can descend on people whatever their married or umarried state. whatever their gender or orientation

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

I don’t think it is a question of parents being stingy. I am a grandfather now. As a young father, I would have had would have misgivings if my son had chosen to be a priest or my daughter a nun. I would have the same thoughts about my grandchildren now. I have always been uneasy about the celibacy insistence. This seems to me unnatural and cruel and to lead to all sorts of emotional and psychological troubles. Different if this is a state chosen freely although I must say that I doubt very much the ability of a celibate to give sound advice to married people on family issues.

Time to tackle the dearth of vocations by opening the priesthood up to all and recognising that the will to serve God can descend on people whatever their married or umarried state. whatever their gender or orientation

Celibates disagree with you. And married priests would be the worst thing that could ever happen to the Church, you would end up with an hereditary and utterly corrupt priesthood. Celibacy has been the rule for a longer than there has been a priest shortage, I would suggest that rather it is people who have your attitude to celibacy not celibacy itself that is the problem.

 

[poor_sinner_1]

AdAdvocatus Fidei Advocatus Fidei

"Celibates disagree with you. And married priests would be the worst thing that could ever happen to the Church, you would end up with an hereditary and utterly corrupt priesthood. Celibacy has been the rule for a longer than there has been a priest shortage, I would suggest that rather it is people who have your attitude to celibacy not celibacy itself that is the problem. "

I totally agree with you

Jeneane

“Oh that is lovely. I’m an only child, and I’m discerning a religious vocation, and my parents are not too excited about that because they want grandkids. I wish they thought like you!”

Will pray for you

 

[RobNY]

I don’t think it is a question of parents being stingy. I am a grandfather now. As a young father, I would have had would have misgivings if my son had chosen to be a priest or my daughter a nun. I would have the same thoughts about my grandchildren now. I have always been uneasy about the celibacy insistence. This seems to me unnatural and cruel and to lead to all sorts of emotional and psychological troubles. Different if this is a state chosen freely although I must say that I doubt very much the ability of a celibate to give sound advice to married people on family issues.

The problem with celibacy, I think, is that it is so very hard to understand for people who aren’t called to it. It’s much harder for someone called to married life to understand celibate life, than vice versa.

But I would counsel that celibacy does not require or cause emotional and psychological immaturity. Indeed, the entire point of the total human formation which the Church expects seminarians and religious to undergo is to foster healthy and appropriate emotional and psychological maturation. With the proper emotional and psychological maturity, celibate life flowers into a beautiful and Christlike universal love of and in the Church. I can testify that I have met several celibate people who have showcased this joyful celibate love. It is true that some people stumble upon celibacy and it hurts them-- but the cause is sin and brokenness, not celibacy.

The other issue, as to the qualification of a non-married person to give advice to a married person, this has some truth in it. Immediate experience of married life is lacking to the celibate person. I would note, of course, that spiritual direction… while rare among the non-religious or priests, is not forbidden. In some cases one might find it most advantageous to have spiritual direction from a holy layman. In this case, one could still receive spiritual direction from a married person. (Likewise, the re-establishment of the permanent diaconate should mean that there are married man in parishes with a holy life and a stable marriage, who should be adept at giving spiritual direction in such matters.)

This aside-- I and do think such things as I said above enrich the life of the Church-- there is nothing preventing a celibate person from giving sound advice to married people about family issues. The celibate person, ideally, was raised in a loving family which was a paradigm of Christian living… and thus has the experience of what living in a Christian family entails. In addition to this, one can never underestimate the power of grace. The Lord equips every person with grace to fulfill whatever task He wishes him to carry.out. In the case of confessors, this includes the grace to counsel married persons. It is truly a gift, and I know some confessors who exemplify this… indeed, their deep knowledge of God, the infused light of the Holy Spirit, their virtue, and the grace with which God equips them for this task makes them often better at giving such advice.

I think that you do a good job of raising the concerns which many parents have. Plus… and I don’t mean this as a barb against any of the parents here… it is one thing to idealize giving a child to religious or priestly life. It is another thing to do it. The Cross is romantic in the abstract but always difficult in the concrete. So too, some may find, in giving their children to a consecrated vocation. Even Mary’s heart was pierced in mothering the vocation of her Son to the high priesthood, and the sacrifice and pain which a parent feels in ‘giving up’ one’s child to God must be very difficult.

Time to tackle the dearth of vocations by opening the priesthood up to all and recognising that the will to serve God can descend on people whatever their married or umarried state. whatever their gender or orientation

Sadly, this has done nothing to alleviate the dearth of vocations among Eastern Christians, or Protestant Christians. It is fundamentally a lack of generosity which is the cause of the dearth of vocations. It is no surprise that a society which lacks generosity in transmitting life, which stifles life by contraception, lacks the generosity to give what few children it has as a sacrifice to God. What’s wrong with vocations is our hearts which are in need of penance and conversion.

God bless,
Rob

 

[AutumnSakura]

I think this is an interesting discussion. I think that (as has been said) a lot of parents want grandchildren, and also want a “better life” for their children. They can only conceive of a better material life, and have difficulty with the idea of a better spiritual life. Since monasticism is so rare in America, few- if any- lay people have the opportunity to experience the day to day life of monks and nuns through a local monastery or retreats at ones further away, and so people judge the call based upon scanty and often ill-informed information. Also consider the fundamental nature of monasticism, truly “dying to the world”. The parental-child relationship undergoes a significant shift when a person enters vocational life. I think one solution is to build up a monastic presence wherever possible, and encourage priests to give homilies on a regular basis about vocations, and then people can begin to see what that life is truly like, and will (hopefully) fear it less for their children.

As for the celibacy issue, I’ve always been baffled by people who say that it is unthinkable or unhealthy, as though being a non-religious means that a) you could have sex with whomever whenever you wanted, or that b) after 5, 15, 40 years of marriage you don’t get bored with the sexual side of your marriage. Somehow, to me at least, being celibate for life seems hardly any different to having sex with the same person day after day (or week after week or whatever) for life. Both have the same challenges, ie chastity is needed in both cases.

 

[AndreaJ]

It is a problem of perspective;

Parent’s in general want to have their children for them and with them; when a child decides to dedicate his life to holy orders it he or she essentially chooses to become a child of the church; and to in a very real and practical sense belong to it, either as a Priest, a Brother or a Sister etc.; and this alarms Parent’s, who in their desires to do well for the children (generally) harbor a desire for family reunions; weddings; grandchildren etc.

With the dedication of a man or womans life to serving God in holy orders they essentially change the axisof their life to that of God - no longer does the life of the child exist as an extension of their extended (biological) family.

It is this irregularity, this charity that throws the families of those pursuing a vocation into a crisis; a fear that their child will become lost or detached for them… Often to the parents it seems more important what the individual is giving up, not what they are pursuing - and it is this fixation upon the sacrifice of the individual that creates a recoil in their family; a fear – it is the lack of a sensible attention to what the person is pursuing; and an obsession with what they are leaving behind.

Thanks, JohnDamian
This is a good representation/explanation of what might have been going through my parents’ thoughts when I broached the subject of perhaps having a vocation.

I very casually (in the car after we had been to dinner with family friends and had discussed people in the religious life) said “I could become a sister, you know.”

To which my parents both replied, in turn, “yes, you can do anything you want to do”

And then came the buts.
Mom: “but, I’d really like to plan another wedding”
Dad: “but, I think your niece needs some cousins”

I have only one older brother and I don’t know if they will be having any more children. My parents love being grandparents.

My mom has never talked to me about it again, except to offer details of the wedding she wants to “help” plan. However, later that evening my dad mentioned his experience with the ROTC in college. He did the mandatory 2 years but opted out of a 3rd due to the restrictions on his summers - being sent wherever the ROTC wanted him to go. He shared this with me to illustrate the loss of independence I would have if I became a sister and had to do whatever I was told to do.

I did not know how to explain to him the freedom that comes with obedience - hard though it is. The freedom to be who God created me to be.

He was only focused on what would be ‘lost’ by not getting married and having babies. My mom was, too, to some extent, but she tends to not discuss things, so I don’t know how much she actually thought about it after that night. (I live halfway across the country from my parents and see them only about 2x a year)

FWIW, Mom is Catholic, Dad is not (but he loves the “Sound of Music” and “The Trouble with Angels” - we watched the latter one a couple of days before the above occurrences).

 

[BigRedpg51]

I am currently trying to enter the seminary (at 58 years of age). I’m running into roadblock after roadblock because dioceses are no longer accepting “older vocations” – usually for financial reasons. But, for several years I attended a discernment group at our local seminary – a group for men who thought they might have a ‘calling’ to the priesthood.

Of the 17-20 of us who usually attended, I would say that I (+ 2 others) were the only ones whose parents approved of them becoming priests. All the other candidates had parents and close relatives telling them that “(they) were crazy!” for even thinking of such a ridiculous thing. “Why waste your life?” was the typical opening argument.

In our society, people have become very corrupted (unknowingly, for the most part) by materialism and the inordinate desire for the ‘respect’ of others. (e.g. ‘respect’ meaning the attainment of a professional career and a decent or lucrative income).

What also feeds into this is that these same people – all too often – do not have a close relationship with God. God is someone to be talked to…but not listened to. Thus, they can’t really understand or believe that a man discerning the priesthood could actually ‘hear’ from God. ABSURD!!!

God is letting us know that they (the scoffers) need our prayers most of all.

What could be better than giving our entire life to God?

What could be better than giving all that we’ve received (and will yet receive) to He who gives us everything…from His abundant love…pouring out from His Adorable Heart?

I’ve spent my entire life so far making decisions that I thought were right. Maybe they were according to God’s will…or maybe not. But, I’ve decided to give the remaining years of whatever life He provides me…to Him…to do with me whatever He wishes…

…and I defy anyone to tell me I shouldn’t.

 

[manualman]

To the poster who said that couple need to be reminded that the purpose of marriage is to have children, I say BZZZZZZT! The purpose of marriage is to learn to give yourself away FIRST to your spouse so that he/she becomes a saint and SECONDLY to accept joyfully any children God blesses you with.

I understand the over-reaction against today’s cultural attitude that treats children as a material acquisition to be checked off a list and nothing more. But it is just as harmful to distort in the other direction.

As for the poster who doubts celibate priests can relate to married couples, you need to read up on JPIIs Theology of the Body. I’ve been married almost 11 years and that guys STILL whupps my behind in comprehension of the meaning of marriage and sexuality.

 

[poetic]

CSJ: There isn’t as much negative attitudes toward vocation as you think. Many people get married and have stable families. That is a vocation. So is living the single life and praising God. I understand your frustration with the lack of interest in the priesthood, but it is God’s hands. Pray with me and God’s will will prevail.

 

[mark_a]

I was speaking with our local parish priest/rector the other day and I was shocked to hear some of the statements that he’s received from our parishioners. He has discussed the need for priests to numerous members of our church family and he also regularly asks for prayers for vocations. Many of them agree with our need, but they’ve openly stated, “but not my son(s).” The audacity to make such a selfish comment flabbergasts me. Granted, at least they’re honest. Nonetheless, to acknowledge and be capable of meeting a need yet chose to do otherwise just seems wrong to me.

I have three young sons and every time we pray the prayer for vocations, I instinctively tell God that He can have as many of them as He likes (they are His to begin with). I would personally be honored to have sons who became priests. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t think I’m any better than the next guy - I’'m just as much in need (if not more) of Christ’s grace as anyone else.

Why is there such a negative attitude toward vocations in our society? Have we become that selfish? We have bigger homes, more cars, more toys, more money, and less kids. Recently, we had the pleasure of having a Nigerian bishop visit us and one of exhortations was to have more children. I agree with him. It seems we’ve become so enamored with chasing the “dream” that we’ve lost sight of what’s truly needful in our lives. We have this infinite hole that we’re attempting to fill with finite “stuff”.

I look at our society (myself included) and I can’t help be feel discouraged. Nonetheless, I am encouraged by the thought that God will turn the tide - but, in my own fickle wisdom, I hope it’s sooner than later. However, I want to do something positive rather than just gripe about it. Anyone have any thoughts?

The root of the problem is contraception.

Parents want their (average) 1.1 sons to pass on the family name.

 

[poetic]

The root of the problem is contraception.

Parents want their (average) 1.1 sons to pass on the family name.

Your quire right, mark a. Contraception is against God’s order. But look on the bright side: The future holds more of us devout catholics because we have more children. Check and Mate.

 

[Soutane]

I may get slammed for this but here goes…I’m the wife of a permanent deacon. My husband is pretty young, we’re both 48 and he has been ordained for 4 years now. We have two children, a son and a daughter. My husband’s mother, family wanted him to become a priest. He married and answered the call at 40.

I think many families who are true to the faith want a child to become a priest. But from a parent’s point of view, we all have hopes and dreams for our kids. I learned the hard way those hopes and dreams usually are not the hopes and dreams of our kids.

Why, do we, as parents, have to push our children to be something? I strongly feel we need to leave them alone and let them choose what they want. It’s their lives and if we were pushed that is more the reason for us to let them decide who or what they want to be.

I do agree many parents get a proud fufilled feeling as a child chooses holy orders. However I also feel many do want grandchildren. Then for those who find out they have a gay child it’s a whole different story. So many times it’s not as what we want.

I strongly feel we have to love and accept them for who they are and who they choose to become. We set the the seeds with religion, manners, and education and can only hope they make the best choices. So, I don’t think Parents are stingy, but in the same respect we should not be forcing any career on them.

Those who are afraid to talk to your parents about becoming a priest or nun, just do it, talk to them. I’m sure they will support you. You may shatter their dreams but remember that is ok, they are their dreams not yours. Follow your heart and I wish you all of god’s blessings!

I have one child,a boy who is the aplle of my eye and is a much better person than I could ever hope to be.He learns from me and I have learned how to really love others through him.I am a divorced Catholic and since he was in diapers he has been at every mass with me for 15 years.His presence in my life so beautifully granted by God has gone a long way to putting me back on the narrow road.If my son does not have children my family line ceases to exist and I will never experience the joy of Grandchildren.

I have always encouraged him to consider a vocation to the priesthood simply because I know that he would make an excellent priest.He would also make a superb husband and father simply because he is a close friend of God and the Holy Spirit has poured so much goodness in him it makes me want to weep.He has been an altar boy since the age of six.

I had an American woman(I Live in a Canadian Tourist Town)who goes to our church each summer tell me that summer by summer she watched my child sit beside me then serve mass when he was about 3 1/2 feet tall.Now he is a solemn dignified 6 foot tall altar server who realises the miracle that he stands not 3 feet from, at every mass he serves.

Three weeks ago,at the consecration when he was ringing the bells to announce Christ’s presence on the Altar,I noticed him stagger…After mass he went before the tabernacle and began to cry.I knelt beside him with my arm around him until he was able to stop.He then said to me that at the consecration he felt SOMEONE,not something,MOVE through him and say very distinctly,“I want you as My Priest”.I was stunned and delirious with joy and told him to keep listening to God’s voice and that he had several years to answer Him.

Please pray for my son Cole’s vocation to the Priesthood.

 

[Yeoman]

Interesting thread.

In my view, the decline in an interest in vocations isn’t tied to a lack of respect for the Priesthood (the situation might be different for other Religious), nor is it tied somehow to a desire “to pass on the family name”, but rather tied to materialism in our society. I don’t think that the attractiveness of vocations in the past was tied strictly the size of families either.

Our current Western society is extremely shallow, and the acquisition of material items and worldly amusements is a focus in a way that it wasn’t for our grandparents and great grandparents. In earlier eras peoples abilities to acquire unnecessary material items and engage in diversions was much more limited, and while wealth has always been a measure of success, people also measured success within in their much more confined societies by status also. Parents were proud of sons who became Priests, and that was a credit to their honor. The Priests themselves were part of the Catholic communities, and could be expected to be visiting parishioner’s homes, or even sharing a drink with some of them at the KoC.

Now Priests are very much on the outside in every way. They have much less interaction with average Parishioners, who are now probably only vaguely familiar with their Priests through Sunday Mass attendance. They don’t have a lot of material items, and they aren’t often seen at the same venues that their parishioners likely attend. If they did, the parishioners would likely be embarrassed. Know of very many movies, for example, you’d want to sit next to your Parish Priest and watch? (If the answer is no, perhaps we ought to rethink attending those movies).

So, while in a former era having a son in the Priesthood was an honor, now it is not for most people. That doesn’t mean that it’s a dishonor, but it’ll seem to many parents that their son opted for a life of deprivation, which even many Catholic laymen do not understand.

Indeed, the late entry to the Priesthood we see tends to demonstrate, I think, the shallowness of that thinking. These are men who have lived the worldly life and found it wanting, but a bit late.

Beyond that, frankly, in our sex saturated society sex provides part of the parents concerns as well. Lots of Catholic married couples avoid having children now, but not too many married couples are avoiding sex. A large percentage of American Catholics do not adhere to the Church’s teachings on sex at all, seemingly feeling that they are optional. Entering the Priesthood, all are aware, means taking those teachings seriously. People who haven’t lived those teaching in the first place are going to tend to believe that nobody can. It isn’t a concern for passing on the family name, or any such thing. In our current situation there’s plenty of men who don’t claim the children they have. It’s a concern about not being able to have “fun” or engage in something that’s “natural”.

Given all of that, a sizable number of parents are going to have concerns about their sons becoming Priests, irrespective of their attendance at Mass on Sunday. I’d wager that the same parents would not be too terribly concerned about a son announcing that he was opting for a career in business and avoiding marriage as he’d be too busy at work. It’s a bad trend, but I suspect that’s what it is.

I suspect that’s why we see it replicated all over the Western World. As societies have become richer, the honor associated with a serious vocation in a resource poor world diminishes when the same society becomes resource rich an the vocation remains “poor”.

While I’ve only discussed the Priesthood here, I’d bet the situation is even rougher for Monks and Nuns, who are seen as being very much on the outside in comparison to Parish Priests.

 

[tijeras]

I think people always fear the unfamiliar, and for parents, obviously marriage is the only vocation with which they are familiar. So the single life or religious life is strange and maybe scary to them, I suppose.

It also occurs to me that maybe many parents push the idea of marriage on their kids because they’re hoping to just get them safely married so they no longer have to worry about their sexual behavior.

I think it’s not good to push kids into anything, whether we’re talking about Vocation or vocation as in occupation. It’s not healthy for kids to think their parents have really specific expectations of them (“you will be a doctor”) but it IS necessary for them to know that their parents want them to try to become the people God wants them to be (“it is important for you to know, love, and serve God”).

When I was a youth minister I used to hold parent-student workshops and one was on Vocations. I thought this was important because most people who have teens now (I was in youth ministry 2004-2007) didn’t really get a great religious education, so they may not even understand that the Church teaches there are three vocations, all equally good, all designed to bring us and others to God. One thing I really tried to get home to the parents was that they couldn’t choose their kids’ vocations for them and that they shouldn’t raise their kids with the assumption that they’re going to get married and have kids someday. Don’t say things like, “one day when you grow up and get married” etc. etc. etc.

Conversely, it’s not good to push your kid toward religious life either. Just as you can’t pick who your kid’s going to marry and shouldn’t try, neither should you try to persuade them toward religious life. Don’t harp on them about the “need” for vocations. One great quote, I think it was in Fishers of Men by Grassroots Films, was “we don’t need more priests, we need more GOOD priests.” No one wants to marry someone who was pushed toward us by their parents. Neither would any congregation benefit from having a priest who was pushed into it by his mama.

And don’t neglect the single life, another perfectly legitimate vocation. I had a friend in college who one day said to me, almost in tears, “why don’t my parents understand that I just don’t want to get married?!” She didn’t feel called to religious life but didn’t feel called to married life either (granted we were in college and still had a lot of learning to do, but I think the point still holds). I told her about how the single life is a legitimate vocation too and thought, "man, if more people understood the concept of the three vocations, we wouldn’t have old aunt Hilda asking us at Christmas, “do you have a boyfriend yet? My friend has this grandson…” Moreover, we would be far better equipped to deal with it should one of our kids turn out to have same-sex attraction, as the single life is very often the calling in that situation. Then they wouldn’t feel as though they got the short end of the stick as far as life: marriage, religious life, and single life are all equally legitimate vocations.

I really think that we’d have far fewer problems in general if more people understood the concept of three vocations, especially as regards the fallout from sexual immorality. No one has a right to sex, it’s part of only ONE of the three vocations, and the point of it is to bond you to your mate for the purpose of raising children together.

God will call our kids (i’m a parent now with a toddler and a baby on the way) to the vocation for which He has designed them. Our job as parents is to accustom them to His voice.

 

[mark_a]

In my view, the decline in an interest in vocations isn’t tied to a lack of respect for the Priesthood (the situation might be different for other Religious), nor is it tied somehow to a desire “to pass on the family name”, but rather tied to materialism in our society.

In my view, materialism and contraception are like the chicken and the egg.