Wanting to be a Traditional Catholic(m)

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but attend the Novus Ordo Mass.

I have always craved reverence in the Mass, and believe it is proper for women to cover their heads, but unless God intervenes I will not be able to get my husband to embrace Mass in the Extraordinary Form, and besides it is only offered once per month were we live at a different parish further than our own which we already drive 45 minutes to, passing by the very liberal parish that is only minutes from our home.

If I were to cover my head, I would be the only one in the parish and my husband and older teens / young adult children would be so uncomfortable that I don’t think they’d come with me. We are a large family that still has several younger children and I just wish it could be different.

I can say our priest is more traditional than others in the area, and does add in some Latin phrases, but obviously it is still a Novus Ordum Mass.

We kneel for the consecration, but many stand after receiving. I sometimes feel unsure what we are to do as it seems to show a lack of unity with some standing and some kneeling, but our family does usually continue to kneel.

I guess I just crave the traditionalism that I read about in the Saints lives, or on other traditional Catholic family blogs, but don’t know how to achieve it in my situation, other than to keep praying.

Not even sure why I’m posting, other than it’s been on my heart a lot lately and I could use some encouragement that God understands.
 
Is that (m) as in “mark” of the Church?

How do you know if your family will attend with you unless you ask?
 
I’m praying that you find peace. It seems that you are searching for a time that was simpler and when there were fewer choices, especially where the Church is concerned.🤷
 
I have been in a similar situation. I was interested in the Traditional Latin Mass before my family even heard Mass regularly. They found no need to drive the extra twenty minutes to the Latin Mass when we could go to the contemporary church nearby. There, I was an odd-ball since I bowed my head at the Sacred Name, kneeled for the Agnus Dei & Holy Communion, and so forth.

But, after prayer and talking to my family about the Latin Mass, I excited my mother enough to take me to one. She really liked it, and eventually we moved to that parish and now hear the Traditional Latin Mass every Sunday with my whole family.

I would suggest to continue praying, and ask the Holy Ghost to guide you in bringing your family to the Traditional Latin Mass. Explain the various traditions that you are fond of and why you like them. After explaining the Latin Mass to them, try taking them one Sunday so they can experience it themselves. With understanding and exposure, they may love it too. 👍 Don’t worry about the disunity, you are allowed to kneel after and for Holy Communion. You can cover your head as well. If your family doesn’t want to go to Mass because of such a trivial matter, that’s a problem; after all, they aren’t the ones acting out of the ordinary.
 
You could wear a hat. If you wear an embarrassing hat, your family might beg you to wear a veil instead 😉

I occasionally attend a Mass where they tell us not to kneel (ugh!) but we still kneel. If you kneel, then you are following the GIRM, so you are doing the right thing. Don’t worry about not “being in unity” with those who stand; it is not necessary, and you are remaining in obedience as well as unity with the entire Church. They may be standing because they have a problem with their knees and know that standing is more reverent than sitting.
 
There is one elderly woman in our church who wears a veil, & I am envious that she has the strength to go against the grain. I would do it in a heart-beat if more women did it. Go with your heart, heart4home!! 🙂
 
In the Novus Ordo Mass Jesus is made present at the consecration of the bread and the wine - it becomes His Body and Blood.

I attend my parish Novus Ordo Mass on weekdays and Sundays, and it is reverent.
 
OraLabora said:
There is nothing wrong with the Ordinary Form of the Mass.
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There is just something extra special about the Traditional Latin Mass that can captivate some people so much that they want nothing else but to hear Mass solely in that form. It’s something about its silence and beauty that lift you up from earth to heaven. Its an experience that is never matched in the Novus Ordo, at least for me. 🙂 :highprayer:
 
Confiteor_Deo said:
There is just something extra special about the Traditional Latin Mass that can captivate some people so much that they want nothing else but to hear Mass solely in that form. It’s something about its silence and beauty that lift you up from earth to heaven. Its an experience that is never matched in the Novus Ordo, at least for me. 🙂 :highprayer:
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It depends how the Ordinary Form is celebrated. I invite you to our monastery, and I guarantee you, you will find what you describe in the Ordinary Form.

There is nothing about the OF that prevents it from being celebrated with equal beauty as the EF.
 
I wonder if you could find even one like-minded person in your parish. Like, a “closet-traditionalist”…haha. So that you could at least know that there is one other person with whom you share a deeply personal experience.

I assume you have discussed the issue of veiling in depth with your family, so I’m not sure there’s much more you can do in that regard. Perhaps in order not to make it seem like you’re pushing the issue or trying to “force” them to agree with you, you could just every once in awhile ask your husband if you could veil that day (which sounds absurd, and IS absurd since you shouldn’t have to do that), so that at least discussion is brought up every so often and you can explicitly express why you wish to veil. You need to find out exactly why your husband is uncomfortable with you veiling. If you can get him to be more open to it, your children may be more open to it as well.

In general, it is very good you are sacrificing your desires in the interests of your family, but I believe it is very unfair of your husband/family to suppress a very good, wholesome desire on your part - so I hope there is at least dialogue between you and your husband on the subject every so often, and that there is hope of a change in heart.
There is just something extra special about the Traditional Latin Mass that can captivate some people so much that they want nothing else but to hear Mass solely in that form. It’s something about its silence and beauty that lift you up from earth to heaven. Its an experience that is never matched in the Novus Ordo, at least for me.
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Agree! The OP did not say that there was anything wrong, per se, with the Ordinary Form. As reflected in Confiteor Deo’s response, it is clear that even if the Ordinary Form is celebrated completely reverently and even as traditionally as possible (which is not common today, although there is a good trend towards that happening more often), it is simply a different experience than the Extraordinary Form. Just because one prefers the EF does not (necessarily) mean they think that the OF is in itself bad - it’s just that the experiences are different,and it is perfectly legitimate to prefer the different experience of the EF to the OF.

I experience this often myself now. I probably have access to a much more traditional/reverent OF Mass than I ever have had and indeed, than many people experience today - yet I still prefer the EF just as much as (actually, even more than) I did a year ago after moving here. Again, it’s just a different experience which one cannot (or at best, usually does not) experience in an OF Mass. And this is okay. Just like it’s OK to prefer the OF. Though I will always try to introduce/expose more and more people to the EF. So that there are more attendees. So that I can recruit more and more people to my choir. So that we have an even more and more beautiful experience for Sunday High Masses. 😃

OK, I’m done! Back to the OP, always have hope! I hope you know of at least one person with whom you can discuss shared views on this every so often!
 
OraLabora said:
There is nothing about the OF that prevents it from being celebrated with equal beauty as the EF.
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You’re right, in theory, that the OF can offer those who currently strongly prefer the EF nearly the same experience. However, the only way that can happen, which, again, rarely happens these days, is 1) mostly all Latin, and 2) mostly all silent. If the OF was basically a vernacularly celebrated EF, then you’re right, it would be pretty much the same, provided the celebrant elected to say the Mass, aside from perhaps the readings, in Latin. While it is legitimately allowed to use the vernacular these days, you can’t deny that it is simply a different experience to only hear Latin during the Mass. But as it is, the OF is not simply a translated EF Mass, so no matter how small the differences may be, it is not exactly the same experience as an OF Mass. It is essentially the same since the same sacrifice is offered, but that doesn’t mean the experience cannot be different. Do you see what I mean? This is my own experience, and I think many who have attended both forms would admit that, preferences aside and without negative things being said about either form, they are just different experiences.
 
bobballen_18 said:
You’re right, in theory, that the OF can offer those who currently strongly prefer the EF nearly the same experience. However, the only way that can happen, which, again, rarely happens these days, is 1) mostly all Latin, and 2) mostly all silent. If the OF was basically a vernacularly celebrated EF, then you’re right, it would be pretty much the same, provided the celebrant elected to say the Mass, aside from perhaps the readings, in Latin. While it is legitimately allowed to use the vernacular these days, you can’t deny that it is simply a different experience to only hear Latin during the Mass. But as it is, the OF is not simply a translated EF Mass, so no matter how small the differences may be, it is not exactly the same experience as an OF Mass. It is essentially the same since the same sacrifice is offered, but that doesn’t mean the experience cannot be different. Do you see what I mean? This is my own experience, and I think many who have attended both forms would admit that, preferences aside and without negative things being said about either form, they are just different experiences.
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I’ve never been to an EF Mass. The only ones within an hour drive are SSPX, which I refuse to attend.

But I have been to plenty of OF Masses that have been partially, mostly, or all in Latin, with many long silent intrervals.

At our abbey, the Propers and Ordinary are in Latin Gregorian chant, the rest in French plainchant. I guess I’m blessed, that’s where I attend Mass almost every Sunday.

It may not be readily apparent to most, but there are many religious communities that do the OF exactly as SC specified whether all, part or never in Latin.
 
OraLabora said:
I’ve never been to an EF Mass. The only ones within an hour drive are SSPX, which I refuse to attend.

But I have been to plenty of OF Masses that have been partially, mostly, or all in Latin, with many long silent intrervals.

At our abbey, the Propers and Ordinary are in Latin Gregorian chant, the rest in French plainchant. I guess I’m blessed, that’s where I attend Mass almost every Sunday.

It may not be readily apparent to most, but there are many religious communities that do the OF exactly as SC specified whether all, part or never in Latin.
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That’s great. Perhaps this is another reason why we must always fervently pray for an increase of vocations to religious life, holy men and women who are fully open to following the Church’s preferences, so that more people can experience every day/every Sunday what they have a right to experience but have been robbed of the past few decades. I certainly believe you that your experience is a reverent one, celebrated the way the OF was meant to be celebrated. But still, that doesn’t mean it is exactly the same experience as a reverently celebrated EF Mass either. All I’m trying to say is that with the current 1970 missal, it is arguably completely impossible to claim that one can have the exact same liturgical experience as with the 1962 missal. At best, one could legitimately claim to experience a reverent Liturgy, which is certainly a good thing! I’m not meaning to discredit your experience. I’m very certain that even if you were to attend an Extraordinary Form Latin High Mass (or any other EF Mass, I guess), you would understand what I am trying to say - simply that they are different experiences. Further, I am certain that based on your description of the Liturgy you experience, I would love the experience as well too - but even leaving aside which I would prefer, I would still claim they are just different experiences.

OK, I’m done since I feel like I’m just repeating myself…lol. I’m not trying to berate/insult you or anything - just saying you might not be able to fully understand what I’m saying unless you actually experience a Latin Mass yourself.
 
heart4home said:
I can say our priest is more traditional than others in the area, and does add in some Latin phrases, but obviously it is still a Novus Ordum Mass.
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If I could just point out something. My apologies if it’s not particularly helpful.

The Mass that is celebrated in the majority of parishes can certainly be called a Novus Ordo Mass. Having said that, that particular phrase carries a certain amount of baggage, since many quasi-schismatic traditionalists will purposely use such a term to disparage the Mass. It’s best, IMO, simply to refer to it as the Ordinary Form, as Pope Benedict XVI did. This phrase instantly communicates what you’re talking about, and you’re not using language that individuals who are often disobedient to the post-Conciliar Magisterium insist on using.

I would also like to point out something else.

Very often, people who attend the traditional Latin Mass do so because they prefer it, because they see in it an elevated sacredness, and because they find it more beautiful. I think there’s nothing at all wrong with that sort of attitude, provided it doesn’t lead to pride, and provided it is rooted in the proper obedience to the Church.

BUT … I want to point out an irony, and the irony is that, very often, that sort of mentality is actually Modernistic. When people put their own impulses and subjective feelings ahead of the authority of the Church, and when such feelings become the norm of faith for them, then they are simply Modernists.

People can be liberals and do all sorts of things that can be frustrating to obedient Catholics, and the root cause of their behavior is simply that they are Modernists. On the other had, folks can be quite reactionary, and can basically live out their lives sitting on the border between preferring traditional devotion and implicit Sedeprivationism. They, just like the liberals, are motivated by basic Modernistic impulses, as described above.

So, I do urge caution, and I do urge you to put first your faith, and not simply your feelings or emotions. God will get nothing out of your attending the Extraordinary form if you are doing so for the wrong reasons.
 
O_Lumen said:
So, I do urge caution, and I do urge you to put first your faith, and not simply your feelings or emotions. God will get nothing out of your attending the Extraordinary form if you are doing so for the wrong reasons.
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Maybe not, but do you really expect to get extra credit for hearing a Mass in amplified vernacular around smiling faces? 🙂
 
Confiteor_Deo said:
I have been in a similar situation. I was interested in the Traditional Latin Mass before my family even heard Mass regularly. They found no need to drive the extra twenty minutes to the Latin Mass when we could go to the contemporary church nearby. There, I was an odd-ball since I bowed my head at the Sacred Name, kneeled for the Agnus Dei & Holy Communion, and so forth.

But, after prayer and talking to my family about the Latin Mass, I excited my mother enough to take me to one. She really liked it, and eventually we moved to that parish and now hear the Traditional Latin Mass every Sunday with my whole family.

I would suggest to continue praying, and ask the Holy Ghost to guide you in bringing your family to the Traditional Latin Mass. Explain the various traditions that you are fond of and why you like them. After explaining the Latin Mass to them, try taking them one Sunday so they can experience it themselves. With understanding and exposure, they may love it too. 👍 Don’t worry about the disunity, you are allowed to kneel after and for Holy Communion. You can cover your head as well. If your family doesn’t want to go to Mass because of such a trivial matter, that’s a problem; after all, they aren’t the ones acting out of the ordinary.
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Thank you for your reply. We have actually attended the Extraordinary Mass as a family and neither my husband or older children wished to return.
 
Ad_Orientem said:
Is that (m) as in “mark” of the Church?

How do you know if your family will attend with you unless you ask?
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No, sorry old habit from a different message board…it means “more” as in there is more within the text box but obviously on this board you can see that:-)
 
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