Was She Evil?

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Hello all, I have a story which happend to me at the start of this Month, on April 4th, 2005.   I started working at a local church rectory back in October, then a new priest came, made my life a misery by his constant humiliatins, etc.  I began to loose my faith.  hence I stopped praying totally, stopped going to church (I would go for show on saturday evenings, but only so no one asks why I "don't go to church."   Well, months went by, I fell in lust, gossip, all kinds of sins.  THEN!!!  on April 4th, 2005 I was invited to a dinner sponsored by the church I worked for to benefit the seminarian funds.  Well, at one point I was in line for diiner, and this woman about 24 years old who was very attractive, and whom I never saw before, happened to pass me by and with a flirty grin (seductive) glanced at me and our eyes locked for a couple of seconds.  Anyway, (I have quick eye for beuty) I did not see her again to the end, when i went outside to smoke a cigarette, after 4 minutes SHE comes to me and says: "I have been wanting to give you my phone number."
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  So, she had me write down her number on my cell phone, and I was happy.  We started to talk some more about which Universities we attended, etc. etc. well, she tells me she lives in the building next to the church (new to the area), so since I was walking the same way, I offered to walk her to her building.  She said bye and I said, "I will call you"  and she said, "yes, please do."
As I went home that night I was angry to find out that her number had not registered on my cell phone.
I went back to work the next day, and one other day passed, in the meantime I wanted to find out how to contact her. Well, 10 minutes into my work in the rectory, guess who comes in?? Yes, HER. I was happy to see her (I have been struggling with these feelings of inner lonliness) and I told her I meant to call her, but I had lost her number. She said she was in the church for confession, but asked me: “do you want to go to get a bite to eat after I go to confession”? I said, yes, I will wait for you. As I looked at her enter the confessional through the closed circuit TV, she was there for a long time.
CONTINUED
 
Next time you are going to post a story, write it up in a word processor and paste it in!!! I am going nuts here waiting for the ending, and now it is time for Star Trek Enterprise, and I’ve got to go offline.😛

I’m dying to hear the ending…You’re killing me, man.
 
Who cares if she’s evil? Anyway, she’s a human being, just like you and me. She may be deeply enmeshed in sin, which is a more helpful way to look at it than declaring her “evil.” Calling someone evil seems to imply that their evil is irredeemable. Satan is irredeemably evil; this woman is not.

For someone who believes that he has a calling to the priesthood, you seem excessively attached to drama. (All those question marks make me wonder… is Paris Blues your sister? Just kidding. 😉 ) You’re 35, right? Shouldn’t you be a little more settled by now, psychologically speaking?

And if you are so convinced that you have a calling to the priesthood, then why are allowing yourself to be distracted by womanly charms?

And why in the Lord’s Holy Name did you stop going to Mass? You should be going to Mass every day.

And furthermore… :rolleyes: why would you begin to lose your faith over how the priest treated you? Just this week our new Pope reminded us that God works through imperfect instruments.

And finally… it’s all very well that you ask us these questions, but… do you ask the Lord? Do you spend time in adoration? It might do wonders for your feelings of, as you call it, “inner loneliness.”
 
Excuse me for interrupting, but I read your story on the other thread…

Why are you asking if “she” was evil? You participated by entertaining her stories and by going up to her apartment. I think you would feel relieved if someone validated your feeling that she was evil because then you could excuse yourself for your lustful thoughts and obsession concerning her.

On a Christopher West CD I own, he tells a story of two priests who come out of a church and see a beautiful woman who also is a very promiscuous prostitute in the town. One priest averts his eyes, and the other stares at the woman. The priest who averted his eyes did the right thing–he was afraid that he would be lustful and tempted–it was right for him to look away. However, the one who stared at the beautiful prostitute did the right thing also. He appreciated her ample beauty. He appreciated the physical beauty God had given her–he saw God reflected in her beauty–but he also felt the pain of love and pity for the woman because she did not live the dignity that was given her by her creator. He looked at her with tears in his eyes.

We may have to live like the first priest, and turn away from things we know will tempt us, but we should always strive to be able to see with God’s eyes as the second priest did and to see the dignity and true calling of every person–to live as we were created–in the image of God.
 
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     She finally cmae out of the confessional, and it was way past the time I usually leave.  She walked and father was with her, and I aske her, "so, are you ready? Let's go"    Father looked shocked as he asked her: "do you know him"?   I figured it was just father as always micromanaging all even people's lives.   I told her "let's go."
We are at dinner and my God, suddendly, she starts a converstaion talking about sex in ways that would make a playboy man blush (though becasue of my spiritual state at the time, I was liking the talk) she said things I cannot repeat here, “i like doing this and that” this way that way, etc". She told me in less than 25 minutes her fantasies:o , and all she would like to do one day, umm=lusts. I then walked her home, and she said “do you want to come up” I live alone". Stupid me went up, and I go with her into her apartment, we continue where we left off in OUR CONVERSATION, the one she started. Well, she then told me she was a bit tired, and I offered a massage, well, let me just say, things almost got very sinful. If they were not already on her mind and my own. For a long time I had not had a woman (24 years old) come on to me that way in a time in which I had parted from God, and was very physically lonely. THE POINT IN ALL THIS, I THANK GOD THIS DID NOT GO FURTHER, THOUGH I THINK (MAYBE THOSE MORE EXPERIENCED HERE CAN TELL ME) SHE DID WANT ME TO INITIATE A MORE LETS JUST SAY, SINFUL MOVE. My Guardian angel helped me. It has been weeks, and I went to confession, and all, but now, especially last night all of this kept comming back into my mind, her, what we talked about, the two kiises we gave each other, etc. I have been praying my daily Rosary, and have not nor intend to fall into impure sins, and I want to reject her face etc from my mind. However, last night all night I could not sleep thinking over and over and over of all this in my mind. Why is all this happning to me??? Now that I am praying mre etc. It’s almost as if my inner inclination would like to be with her again. but NO!! I erased her number, and I already told her not to call me. BUT GOD, I CAN’T FORGET!!! EVEN THE PRIEST PROBABLY THINKS I DID SOMETHING WITH HER, AFTER SHE WENT TO CONFESSION, AND I COULD JUST IMAGINE HE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS ABOUT. I am even embarrased to see him, I have since resigned my job there, and all.
CAN ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME, WHAT WAS SHE, DID I ENCOUNTER SOME EVIL ENTITY? I remeber seeing all this weird jewelry on her, gave me weird feelings. I am afraid to continue to attract in the future, these agents of seduction and sin. My God, almost like a succubus. She was so promiscous. But at the same time, well mannered, educated, and works for a certain state (well in a State Assemblyman’s office.
What would lead a 24 year old female to such talk? Why did she seem to lustful, almost like in a possessed way??
Thanks for all your words and welcomed comments here. Please know, I think God allowed this evil to come into my life at the time, because I had so far had left him.
I am a changed guy now, but?? Why all these thoughts of HER???
 
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Pentecost2005:
Who cares if she’s evil? Anyway, she’s a human being, just like you and me. She may be deeply enmeshed in sin, which is a more helpful way to look at it than declaring her “evil.” Calling someone evil seems to imply that their evil is irredeemable. Satan is irredeemably evil; this woman is not.

For someone who believes that he has a calling to the priesthood, you seem excessively attached to drama. (All those question marks make me wonder… is Paris Blues your sister? Just kidding. 😉 ) You’re 35, right? Shouldn’t you be a little more settled by now, psychologically speaking?

And if you are so convinced that you have a calling to the priesthood, then why are allowing yourself to be distracted by womanly charms?

And why in the Lord’s Holy Name did you stop going to Mass? You should be going to Mass every day.

And furthermore… :rolleyes: why would you begin to lose your faith over how the priest treated you? Just this week our new Pope reminded us that God works through imperfect instruments.

And finally… it’s all very well that you ask us these questions, but… do you ask the Lord? Do you spend time in adoration? It might do wonders for your feelings of, as you call it, “inner loneliness.”
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Well thanks for your psychological evaluation here? However, this thread is about a spiritual matter, but then I guess you have never been exposed to this type of experience.
 
Dear friend

NO. The woman was not herself evil and you shouldn’t refer to people as such. Are you thinking that evil spirits are manifesting themselves to you in the form of beautiful women, is that what all this is about?

You will turn yourself into a gibbering wreck if you look at the world from this viewpoint! The woman is just an ordinary woman and she was attracted to you and you to her and you resisted the temptation to sex outside of marriage and that is a simple as this is. You are dwelling on this yourself and magnifying it in your own mind.

If your conscience suggests to you that what passed between you and this woman was sinful, make a good confession and then forget about this incident. Being tempted is natural you know, we are all tempted everyday of our lives and we all think things we don’t want to so we brush them aside without a further thought to them, so there is no sin committed when we do this.

Did you think somehow that being committed in faith that all of your human nature would be reformed? No, it is a constant struggle between the nature of our broken humanity and striving to be Christ-like, that does not mean that there is something spiritually evil going on in the respect that spirits are manifest to you, this is simply the day to day struggle of living the faith which you have expereinced and which every Christian experiences.

You are making a cross for your own back here, friend, by magnifying this in your mind as you have.

Personally, I think you need to calm down and remember God is always with you.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
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misericordie:
Well thanks for your psychological evaluation here? However, this thread is about a spiritual matter, but then I guess you have never been exposed to this type of experience.
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You wanted advice, you’re getting it. If you want to dismiss it as mere “psychology,” then I suggest that you consult an etymological dictionary.

I have been “exposed to this type of experience,” as you put it, and as a result I’ve learned how to avoid (1) getting sucked into it, and (2) rationalizing it. And I would suggest that your choice of words is revealing. You may not have gone looking for it, but you didn’t exactly turn away from it, either. This isn’t like being “exposed” to bad weather. If God is testing you, that means He’s giving you an opportunity to make a choice.

You still have these thoughts of her at least in part because you choose to. Try praying a couple of dozen Rosary decades instead.
 
No, misericordie, this woman is not evil, just sinful. Please don’t demonize her! I know that it is easier to demonize someone who is tempting, because that way you could just dismiss her as evil. But if you don’t demonize her and accept her as another sinful human being like yourself, well, then you must look at your own sinful self and accept your sins in all of this! Both of you played the game, dear! Her sins are hers and your sins are yours. The best thing to do is to force yourself to forget about her sins and to focus on yours alone, and continue going to weekly Confession.

From your posts, it is very clear that you are obsessing over what happened between you and this woman. If you really want to move past it, you must let yourself feel your feelings, acknowledge them, go to Confession, and then, most importantly, allow them to dissipate. By obsessing on them you continue to breathe life into them. Get busy! Get involved in some activities where you are not so inclined to have time to ruminate! Get physically active, join a gym or start jogging–get out of your house!! Whatever you do, just get busy so you don’t obsess!

If you are worried about that priest who saw you leaving with that woman, then go to him and let him know your own sins–not *her *sins, mind you, just your sins. That might help you get past whatever you think you think about this priest, know what I mean? He is not really a part of this scenario you experienced with this woman; he merely heard her Confession and then observed you two leaving together. That is the extent of it. But if you are worried about what you think he might be thinking about you (which he probably isn’t at all) by all means go to him and tell him, ask him for guidance and prayers. He might be more helpful to you than you imagine!

God bless you, dear, and meanwhile, *get busy *with other things!

Geraldine
 
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Pentecost2005:
You wanted advice, you’re getting it. If you want to dismiss it as mere “psychology,” then I suggest that you consult an etymological dictionary.

I have been “exposed to this type of experience,” as you put it, and as a result I’ve learned how to avoid (1) getting sucked into it, and (2) rationalizing it. And I would suggest that your choice of words is revealing. You may not have gone looking for it, but you didn’t exactly turn away from it, either. This isn’t like being “exposed” to bad weather. If God is testing you, that means He’s giving you an opportunity to make a choice.

You still have these thoughts of her at least in part because you choose to. Try praying a couple of dozen Rosary decades instead.
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I take your mature advice here (now it is) well, however be reminded that you end the argument by implying I do NOT pray the Rosary. In fact friend, I pray it EVERY night, together with using the Brown Scapular etc. Well, I guess we should never have temptations though. If you read carefully, you would see I wrote That though I went to confession, etc, and am praying, she keeps popping into my mind,and this makes me suffer actually.
 
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NightRider:
No, misericordie, this woman is not evil, just sinful. Please don’t demonize her! I know that it is easier to demonize someone who is tempting, because that way you could just dismiss her as evil. But if you don’t demonize her and accept her as another sinful human being like yourself, well, then you must look at your own sinful self and accept your sins in all of this! Both of you played the game, dear! Her sins are hers and your sins are yours. The best thing to do is to force yourself to forget about her sins and to focus on yours alone, and continue going to weekly Confession.

From your posts, it is very clear that you are obsessing over what happened between you and this woman. If you really want to move past it, you must let yourself feel your feelings, acknowledge them, go to Confession, and then, most importantly, allow them to dissipate. By obsessing on them you continue to breathe life into them. Get busy! Get involved in some activities where you are not so inclined to have time to ruminate! Get physically active, join a gym or start jogging–get out of your house!! Whatever you do, just get busy so you don’t obsess!

If you are worried about that priest who saw you leaving with that woman, then go to him and let him know your own sins–not *her *sins, mind you, just your sins. That might help you get past whatever you think you think about this priest, know what I mean? He is not really a part of this scenario you experienced with this woman; he merely heard her Confession and then observed you two leaving together. That is the extent of it. But if you are worried about what you think he might be thinking about you (which he probably isn’t at all) by all means go to him and tell him, ask him for guidance and prayers. He might be more helpful to you than you imagine!

God bless you, dear, and meanwhile, *get busy *with other things!

Geraldine
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Thank you, great advice. However, I am not interested in going to a rude humiliating and arrogant priest as he.
 
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springbreeze:
Dear friend

NO. The woman was not herself evil and you shouldn’t refer to people as such. Are you thinking that evil spirits are manifesting themselves to you in the form of beautiful women, is that what all this is about?

You will turn yourself into a gibbering wreck if you look at the world from this viewpoint! The woman is just an ordinary woman and she was attracted to you and you to her and you resisted the temptation to sex outside of marriage and that is a simple as this is. You are dwelling on this yourself and magnifying it in your own mind.

If your conscience suggests to you that what passed between you and this woman was sinful, make a good confession and then forget about this incident. Being tempted is natural you know, we are all tempted everyday of our lives and we all think things we don’t want to so we brush them aside without a further thought to them, so there is no sin committed when we do this.

Did you think somehow that being committed in faith that all of your human nature would be reformed? No, it is a constant struggle between the nature of our broken humanity and striving to be Christ-like, that does not mean that there is something spiritually evil going on in the respect that spirits are manifest to you, this is simply the day to day struggle of living the faith which you have expereinced and which every Christian experiences.

You are making a cross for your own back here, friend, by magnifying this in your mind as you have.

Personally, I think you need to calm down and remember God is always with you.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
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Best advice yet. Thanks:)
 
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misericordie:
Thank you, great advice. However, I am not interested in going to a rude humiliating and arrogant priest as he.
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Thank you, misericordie. I do understand you not wanting to go to a rude, humilating and arrogant priest–I have only met one like that but it truly made me never want to go to him for Confession, that’s for sure! I did face my “issues” I had about him, and even went to him for Confession one time and he was actually a lot different in the confessional than outside of it, thankfully. Anyway, just take good care of your heart and do something good for yourself–that will help to take your mind off the woman! God bless,

Geraldine
 
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misericordie:
I take your mature advice here (now it is) well, however be reminded that you end the argument by implying I do NOT pray the Rosary. In fact friend, I pray it EVERY night, together with using the Brown Scapular etc. Well, I guess we should never have temptations though. If you read carefully, you would see I wrote That though I went to confession, etc, and am praying, she keeps popping into my mind,and this makes me suffer actually.
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I never said we “should” never have temptations. Temptation as such is beyond our control. However, we can conduct ourselves and tend our souls such that at least some temptations weaken.

I did not imply that you don’t pray the Rosary. I simply suggested that you pray it MORE when you struggle like this. Maybe a LOT more. It would help keep this woman out of your mind, and focused on Christ.

If she keeps popping into your head, then obviously you have work to do. Simple as that.
 
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misericordie:
Continued

She finally cmae out of the confessional, and it was way past the time I usually leave. She walked and father was with her, and I aske her, “so, are you ready? Let’s go” Father looked shocked as he asked her: “do you know him”? I figured it was just father as always micromanaging all even people’s lives. I told her “let’s go.”
We are at dinner and my God, suddendly, she starts a converstaion talking about sex in ways that would make a playboy man blush (though becasue of my spiritual state at the time, I was liking the talk) she said things I cannot repeat here, “i like doing this and that” this way that way, etc". She told me in less than 25 minutes her fantasies:o , and all she would like to do one day, umm=lusts. I then walked her home, and she said “do you want to come up” I live alone". Stupid me went up, and I go with her into her apartment, we continue where we left off in OUR CONVERSATION, the one she started. Well, she then told me she was a bit tired, and I offered a massage, well, let me just say, things almost got very sinful. If they were not already on her mind and my own. For a long time I had not had a woman (24 years old) come on to me that way in a time in which I had parted from God, and was very physically lonely. THE POINT IN ALL THIS, I THANK GOD THIS DID NOT GO FURTHER, THOUGH I THINK (MAYBE THOSE MORE EXPERIENCED HERE CAN TELL ME) SHE DID WANT ME TO INITIATE A MORE LETS JUST SAY, SINFUL MOVE. My Guardian angel helped me. It has been weeks, and I went to confession, and all, but now, especially last night all of this kept comming back into my mind, her, what we talked about, the two kiises we gave each other, etc. I have been praying my daily Rosary, and have not nor intend to fall into impure sins, and I want to reject her face etc from my mind. However, last night all night I could not sleep thinking over and over and over of all this in my mind. Why is all this happning to me??? Now that I am praying mre etc. It’s almost as if my inner inclination would like to be with her again. but NO!! I erased her number, and I already told her not to call me. BUT GOD, I CAN’T FORGET!!! EVEN THE PRIEST PROBABLY THINKS I DID SOMETHING WITH HER, AFTER SHE WENT TO CONFESSION, AND I COULD JUST IMAGINE HE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS ABOUT. I am even embarrased to see him, I have since resigned my job there, and all.
CAN ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME, WHAT WAS SHE, DID I ENCOUNTER SOME EVIL ENTITY? I remeber seeing all this weird jewelry on her, gave me weird feelings. I am afraid to continue to attract in the future, these agents of seduction and sin. My God, almost like a succubus. She was so promiscous. But at the same time, well mannered, educated, and works for a certain state (well in a State Assemblyman’s office.
What would lead a 24 year old female to such talk? Why did she seem to lustful, almost like in a possessed way??
Thanks for all your words and welcomed comments here. Please know, I think God allowed this evil to come into my life at the time, because I had so far had left him.
I am a changed guy now, but?? Why all these thoughts of HER???
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So, you don’t call her anymore and she’s hot? You disgust me… Just kidding. 😃 Actually, it’s a good thing you ended it because from past experiences, temptation always gets me whether it be a year or a month.

Now… Do you still have her number? I have a friend of a friend who would like to get to know this girl so he can “convert” her. 😃

Again, another joke.
 
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Pentecost2005:
I never said we “should” never have temptations. Temptation as such is beyond our control. However, we can conduct ourselves and tend our souls such that at least some temptations weaken.

I did not imply that you don’t pray the Rosary. I simply suggested that you pray it MORE when you struggle like this. Maybe a LOT more. It would help keep this woman out of your mind, and focused on Christ.

If she keeps popping into your head, then obviously you have work to do. Simple as that.
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Whoa! Let’s get off that high horse, shall we?
 
Evil? No, just an ordinary 21st century, Gen X woman. I used to do the exact same things as you described before I became Catholic. There is something about a man who’s ‘hard to get’ that makes him more attractive. She probably would consider it a feather in her cap to seduce someone who is trying to be chaste - but remember, she has most likely grown up in an environment which has taught her that being sexy and seductive is a virtue. We X’ers start learning that in elementary school. It’s really a miserable lifestyle, looking for love, understanding and a feeling of worth by offering oneself as a disposable sex object. My advice is: whenever you find yourself thinking of her, pray for her. Other than that, have no contact with her. Satan may have arranged for her to cross your path, but with God’s grace, good may come of what was intended for evil through your prayers (I mean for her conversion, not for your relationship with her!).
 
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nike248:
Whoa! Let’s get off that high horse, shall we?
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The man misconstrues what I say to him and I clarify. What’s the problem?
 
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