Wearing flannel pj bottoms to church

[DVIN_CKS]

puzzleannie:

haven’t had this yet, but did have to ask one young man to stay out of the choir and had to find a substitute lector for one young lady, both at youth Mass this morning, both for highly inappropriate attire. Spent the homily composing a letter for parents in my head, especially after seeing what pre-teens were wearing. Wish my dad was still around, he would have had some choice words on this topic. are parents brain dead, sending a child, especially a young girl, out into this world today dressed like a hooker?

Glad you had the courage to tell these kids they could not serve at mass. More adults need to stand up and say we’re not going to tolerate this kind of dress from our youth IN CHURCH. Dress however they want outside of mass, but when they go to church, they should not be dressing to try and impress “Johnny Handsome”. A little modesty is all we’re asking here.

My question is this…Do these young girls even realize that by dressing so provocatively at church (i.e. bellies exposed, cleavage hanging out, tight t-shirts and jeans that leave NOTHING to the imagination, etc…) that they are inviting men to look at them with lust and that this is sinful? They are contributing to the sin of lust by inviting men to look at them as mere objects. Doesn’t that make them feel a little uncomfortable…especially considering where they are???

 

[LeahInancsi]

Katie1723:

Eating or drinking is bad enough in church. However, nothing beats answering a cell phone during Mass. I am so tempted to say" If that isn’t the Lord, you darn well better hang up! "
Kathy

You guys are giving me some great ideas and the courage to act upon the opportunities you missed.

I have a big mouth and I’ll use it if I have to.

 

[8isgr8]

gam197:

When I had a few children and others did not,I used to go to church and it seemed all the children were dressed nicely(dresses, pattern-leather shoes,bows in hair). I was embarrassed as mine were clean but with regular pants and top. So I stopped going to morning masses on Sunday.
.

Sadly, my experience has been almost entirely opposite. My girls and I wear dresses (except for unusual circumstances) and all seven boys wear dress shirts and Sunday pants. We usually stick out like a sore thumb amid the jeans, sweatshirts, shorts, and even flip-flops.

I think that if we can show respect for our jobs by dressing nicely, we owe at least that much to our Lord and Creator for one hour. We have the rest of Sunday and all day Saturday, plus our evenings to dress down.

I think when we dress down for Mass, for GOD!, we lose the sense that there’s something special and different about it and about Him.

 

[8isgr8]

DVIN CKS:

My question is this…Do these young girls even realize that by dressing so provocatively at church (i.e. bellies exposed, cleavage hanging out, tight t-shirts and jeans that leave NOTHING to the imagination, etc…) that they are inviting men to look at them with lust and that this is sinful? They are contributing to the sin of lust by inviting men to look at them as mere objects. Doesn’t that make them feel a little uncomfortable…especially considering where they are???

When we first moved to the Twin Cities, we didn’t join one of the nearest churches to us in part because our first night there, the reader was a young girl wearing, on the altar, low-slung jeans and a VERY tight little t-shirt. If I remember correctly, it had some word across the front, really highlighting just what doesn’t really need highlighting during Mass! I still can’t believe that was allowed on the altar.

 

[gam197]

If someone is to be on or near the alter, then they should be advised how to dress.

A code of modesty should be taught in all Faith formation classes especially to teen girls.
Maybe even an announcement from the priest in needed in the Spring time when all the coats come off asking the teens to dress properly. This is what needs to be stressed…Maybe he could include a dress code depending on the wording used…

Dressing down explained,For Men it means not having to wear a tie and suit coat and for women high heels and dress or suit but simply, and I see no problem with this, just slacks and top. …

 

[gam197]

Sadly, my experience has been almost entirely opposite. My girls and I wear dresses (except for unusual circumstances) and all seven boys wear dress shirts and Sunday pants. We usually stick out like a sore thumb amid the jeans, sweatshirts, shorts, and even flip-flops.

Are you homeschooling as these children are simply nicer. If not then you have just done a better job. than most It is difficult to get teens to dress. ** Is the Issue on the thread whether jeans should be worn at mass?** I see people nicely showered and fully clothed except when weather gets warmer.

 

[puzzleannie]

gam197:

If A code of modesty should be taught in all Faith formation classes especially to teen girls.
. …

no. 1 not all kids in the parish attend formal classes, school, CCD, youth group
no. 2 we can talk about it until we are blue in the face, and make regulations about what they are to wear, but we (the CCD director ect) are not the parents, we do not buy the clothes, we do not look them over before they leave the house – that is the parents’ job. My question is why on earth would any parent, let along a Christian parent, allow a child, especially a girl, especially a pre-teen girl, out of the house dressed like a hooker?

 

[DVIN_CKS]

puzzleannie:

My question is why on earth would any parent, let along a Christian parent, allow a child, especially a girl, especially a pre-teen girl, out of the house dressed like a hooker?

The only reason I can think of is because the mother’s wardrobe isn’t much better than her daughter’s. The mother probably doesn’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve seen plenty of adult women who should be sent home to dress more modestly before coming to church. Again, where do they think they are???

 

[jrabs]

gam197:

Is the Issue on the thread whether jeans should be worn at mass?

No not jean- the issue on this thread is outrageous dress - in this case it was pj’s. But I would also toss in scantily clothed folks as well ( tummies exposed etc.)

This is not about wearing jeans to mass. I have no beef with jeans.

 

[jc-servant]

Flannel PJ bottoms are a recent fashion fad in my part of the country. My mother who works for a school district first told me about it, mainly with women and girls and I couldn’t believe it. I was at home visiting and I saw a grown man in his 30’s at a drugstore in flannel PJ bottoms with sandals and a t-shirt like they were regular pants.

This reminds me of the fad back in the '80’s to wear men’s boxer shorts as regular women’s outerwear shorts. Sometimes messages were written on the rear like you see now with “cheer” shorts. At least we didn’t dare sport those to church.

An interesting Protestant variation on setting out a dress code. I went to visit a relative and went to a service at her “nondenominational” church. I had on a slightly below the knee skirt and I know how to sit properly, but because it was not a long skirt the ushers brought around big cotton squares that were draped across the knees to ensure that no one got an inappropriate view. I was in a seat behind an aisle so there was no modesty bench in front of me since they don’t have kneelers. My aunt said that they wanted to make sure that the minister was not “distracted” during services.

My parish has gotton pastoral letters from our priest in the bulletin, reminders at mass, etc. I wish all we had to worry about seeing was a stray bit of leg below the kneecap.

 

[aboverubies]

Last week, the teenage girl in front of me on the communion line was barefoot. I wondered if the priest would turn her away but he did not. Maybe he didn’t notice? Maybe he didn’t want to offend her or cause a scene?

I wonder if he had turned her away would the humiliation have hardened her heart towards the Church?

As she was seated directly in front of me I noticed that she did not participate in the Mass at all, did not turn around to offer a sign of peace and left immediately after receiving communion. But she went up to receive and she was at Mass unlike so many of her peers in our community!

How does one communicate with a sullen rebellious teenager who obviously has enough faith and love for God to get her to Mass without her parents; yet seemingly has no reverence for or knowledge of the holiness of God?

aboverubies

 

[Maureen_Fiore]

aboverubies:

Last week, the teenage girl in front of me on the communion line was barefoot. I wondered if the priest would turn her away but he did not. Maybe he didn’t notice? Maybe he didn’t want to offend her or cause a scene?

I wonder if he had turned her away would the humiliation have hardened her heart towards the Church?

As she was seated directly in front of me I noticed that she did not participate in the Mass at all, did not turn around to offer a sign of peace and left immediately after receiving communion. But she went up to receive and she was at Mass unlike so many of her peers in our community!

How does one communicate with a sullen rebellious teenager who obviously has enough faith and love for God to get her to Mass without her parents; yet seemingly has no reverence for or knowledge of the holiness of God?

aboverubies

I would bet the priest did not even notice her barefeet. I think teenagers who attend mass without their parents should be commended. There are few and far between who go to mass on their own. I have a two teenagers who go to mass with me as a family but I wonder if they would go on their own if I was not around. I would hope so but I wonder about that. I think when teenagers regardless need to be taught even after they recieve the sacrament of Confirmation. Many I feel don’t show reverence out ignorance. Parents need to coach them throughout their teen years.

 

[I_3Whiteyacht]

contemplative:

yup…you are getting it…
Could have been worse…he or she might have been wearing a teddy or some other scanty thing. In which case he or she would have been escorted out of church. :yup:

I for one found that image very disturbing, even on that doll-thing! d=

maryjk:

True story.

Just over one year ago, my husband had a heart attack. He was in the hospital for four days. Just over two weeks later, he had another issue that caused him to be in the hospital over night. I rushed him to the hospital in sweats and slippers. I had my hair in a messy ponytail, I had no make up and I had not brushed my teeth since morning. All in all, I looked a sight. It was a Saturday evening. I stayed in the hospital with him while he had surgery, then slept in a chair in his room. So far all true.

Now, lets say when I woke up I found out that he would be in the hospital for a long time? Feeling down and scared, I rushed off to Mass so I could be with our Lord. At this church, I would not be allowed in. I can’t think of how I would feel being turned away.

In truth, he came home Sunday. I did not attend Mass as I was caring for him at home. (He wasn’t allowed to be alone for 24 hours.)

Now, most likely, this woman just didn’t think about what she had on. But how can we, miles away from her, make a judgement? Who are we to judge?

She needs our prayers, not our contempt.

I believe in the majority of the time, people are not travelling but just lazy. I know when I travel I take the time to not only know where I will be going to mass, even in a strange town, but definitly pack clothes! at least something as nice as jeans(which I never wear to mass, but I think other people have this, and its at least more appropriate than sweats/pjs). I see people from out of town in baseball uniforms etc. so I can tell, but these people also are irreverent and leave asap. =( My favorite qoute ever is from St. Thomas Moore, he says “I have no window to look into another man’s conscience.” I think about that all the time, whenever I think ill of someone, I think about that, and how they COULD be travelling or COULD have an emergency to go to after mass, and I would hate to be thought badly of if it were me.
I do wish more priests would preach like that though, and he is referring more to his parish than visitors who (hopefully) had some emergency and had to come to mass improperly dressed. It is his parish after all, and the posts in bulletins especially but also in the vesitbule or entranceway are to the parishoners as well. After all, if you can’t teach your parish due to fear of a visitor, what is the purpose of teaching? I for one love going to a different parish and hearing a straight sermon, rather than some wishy-washy garbage .

EDIT: 1.) boy my posts look messy 2.) I also wanted to say that mostly when I travel, I find it easiest to throw my suit in with me! I normally think to myself, well, this might overdo it a bit jsut for travelling to one mass, then I always say, how can you overdo it? its really easy because you just put everything you need together and go, rather than trying to match clothes etc.

 

[whatevergirl]

Super short skirts on teenage girls, or tank tops on less than desirable bodies are more offensive to me. LOL Truthfully, though, God’s happy to see us all there–pj bottoms and all!

 

[Michael038]

jrabs:

Just when I think I’ve seen it all, yesterday I saw a teen boy wearing pj bottoms to church.

I realize it’s fashionable for teens to wear their pj pants out and about in public. Though I must be too old to understand why they would want to…

But to church??? :nope:

Totally unacceptable! Unbelievable! And I get angry about shorts to Church! WOW!

 

[gam197]

Today I saw a five year old with jogging pants and a fifteen year old with pretty jogging pants and matching white long sleeve top and a young adult with nylon style jogging pants at mass and I wasn’t bother one bit. All freshly showered.

I was bothered by the 30+ year old woman who came in with a mini skirt about 4-6 inches below her butt with a short sleeved tight top. And another woman who had high heel boots with a short skirt.

 

[KCT]

DVIN CKS:

The only reason I can think of is because the mother’s wardrobe isn’t much better than her daughter’s. The mother probably doesn’t see anything wrong with it. I’ve seen plenty of adult women who should be sent home to dress more modestly before coming to church. Again, where do they think they are?

I also think parents are afraid to say ‘no’ to their kids. Mom may not like the style but is afraid to say no. —KCT

 

[tradconvert]

What is important is not what one wears to mass but the fact that one is attending mass, what one is thinking and how one behaves at mass. Of course it is appropriate that one does not wear skimpy or seductive clothing at mass, but if all one wears is clothing that is appropriately modest (even if it is casual clothing) then that is what matters. As a convert I can recall in the Presbyterian Church I attended people did dress up to go to church - and yes a lot of those people did that out of an appropriately sincere attitude, but I have to say quite a few others - if not the majority - dressed up to outdo others in the fashion stakes quite without any sincere attitude at all.

I found it refreshing as a protestant contemplating conversion that many Catholics wore quite ordinary clothes to church. What counted most for me was the fact that they were attending mass and piously so. Let’s get a bit real and consider what is one’s spiritual approach rather than what appears on the surface to be special but in fact doesn’t truly match up with the innermost thoughts of a member of the Church.

 

[montanaman]

Well, whatever one’s piety, I would appreciate it if girls would not wear the low-rider pants to Mass. I saw not one, but TWO butt cracks of girls sitting in front of me yesterday. Yes, I’m sure they were both saints in the making, but I could have gone without the peep show while partaking of the Sacrament.

Fortunately or unfortunately, though, it wasn’t exactly an exciting show. (Shudder).

 

[slackernerd]

I remember hearing gossip because one lady brought her dog(admittedly well-behaved) to mass, Sunday after Sunday. Everyone thought this was nuts!

Once a friend of mine took the time to meet her, she learned that she is blind and the dog is her service animal.